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Dan F**king Brown - 4/11/2005 10:13:00 AM   
Pele


Posts: 145
Joined: 3/10/2005
Ahhhh I'm beginning to hate the site of that arsing book. it's got to the point where I'm going to have to read the f*cker and I don't want to but I can't honestly spit vitriol about it if I haven't read it can I? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised. Everywhere I look that sodding book and its compatriots is smugly winking at me. It's like the bastard offsping of Bryan Adams "Everything I do" single. Arrrrgggghhhhhhh. donkey bollocks.

Thankyou I had to get that off my chest.

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Post #: 1
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 26/1/2006 3:56:01 AM   
frankj

 

Posts: 2788
Joined: 2/10/2005
I picked up "The Da Vinci Code" after some book trial on BBC2 recommended it. At page two, I thought, "This truly is wa*k. It's written by a 4th Year English student with a potato for a brain, and no grasp at all of what makes language so powerful a tool."

I finished the book that evening.

It's like riding a crap donkey to your birthday party. You hate the donkey. It's a shit way to travel, all ugly and mangy and smelly. But it gets you where you want to go, and you have a hell of a time getting there.

I think he's a rotten writer of great stories. In case my donkey thing got all confusing and that.

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Post #: 2
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 26/1/2006 9:17:19 AM   
hozay


Posts: 3378
Joined: 13/10/2005
From: the long,dark teatime of the soul
I read the Da Vinci Code and Deception Point.To me they were just very
mediocre airport novels (I fly a lot).I found two of his books were more than
enough and I have no desire to read more.I'm actually quite ashamed I allowed
myself to get caught up in the hype.
I recently saw, advertised in the TV page,a late night show caled "Da Vincis'Code"
Thinking it was a doco,I tuned in.It turned out to be a third rate US cop drama
with the lead a cop called DaVinci believe it or not.Sucked in again,damn!
I didn't watch it of course.
Post #: 3
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 26/1/2006 5:18:21 PM   
Twinkle


Posts: 1327
Joined: 27/10/2005
From: Planet Telex
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrivateJoker

From 'The L.S. Lowry Code' release 2006.

Langley stretched out his arms and yawned as the sudden sound of the trill hotel 'phone jerked him awake. He looked at the digital display 1:38AM. Who the hell was calling at this time? He snatched up the receiver with sleepy, angry hands.

"Hello, this is Langley. Who the hell is this?"
"Mr Langley, I'd be obliged if you could turn on your television."

Langley sighed. To hell with that. "Goodnight" he said simply and jammed the phone back in its cradle.

Langley just managed to doze off before it rang again "Christ who the hell is that calling again at this time." He looked at the digital display again - 1:39. The caller had obviously hit redial.

This time Langley was straight to the point. "Look, I don't know who the hell you are but it's 1:39 in the morning!"
"Yes Mr Langley, I apologise for the inconvenience. Now, if you'd please turn on your television set."
Langley sighed. What the hell did this wacko want him to turn on the television for? Langley turned it on.

"...and now for some really important breaking news..." the reporter on the TV was saying. Langley recognized her vaguely as Chantelle Nightgown, the daughter of high flying millionare Clarence Nightgown who had recently died in mysterious circumstances. Langley had a strange feeling he would be seeing more of Miss Nightgown before this night was over. She had nice hair and nice tits and she was wearing a dress. And a hat. And she was younger than him by about twenty years. "Parfait," thought Langley in a language that was different from English. Chantelle continued "...the Pope has been taken ill and might die or something!"

The voice on the 'phone spoke to Langley again. "Now do you understand the importance of my call Mr Langley?"

Who the hell was this mysterious caller?

etc, etc...




That's all so horribly accurate, especially the bit about a language other then English.  I love how Mr Brown's foreign characters always say one word/sentence in French, Italian, whatever, then switch to English.  Every.  Fucking.  Time.

Chantelle Nightgown, lol.

Btw, where the hell did you find that, PJ?  Is there any more?!



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Post #: 4
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 30/1/2006 4:01:42 AM   
LiliBee


Posts: 1154
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: The nearest bar.
I read the Da Vinci Code a while ago, before all the fuss about it - thought it was generally ok, entertaining at least even if the style of writing was a little annoying. But then I read Digital Fortress last year (it was on sale in my local discount bookshop for about a quid, if I remember rightly ) - and began to see what everyone else here is complaining about. The patronising tone is just unbelievable sometimes, it's almost as if the reader is being preached at. Fair enough, I can see the argument for providing background in some cases - most people wouldn't have a clue about any of the background to the Da Vinci Code, and there are bits in Digital Fortress that would be incomprehensible to anyone who's not a computer techie at heart - but a good writer will provide this information without it sounding forced and patronising.

And for god's sake man, if you're going to act like you know everything, make sure your facts are right before you do - I'm a software engineer, and reading Digital Fortress was the first time I've ever found myself actually shouting out 'NO it's fucking NOT!!' in frustration at a book 

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Post #: 5
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 6/2/2006 9:18:09 PM   
meh...


Posts: 383
Joined: 30/9/2005
I've just finished readin Angels and Demons and thought it was really gripping. Granted he's not the best writter, but he has piqued my interest in some of the religious and artistic themes (he's physics is slightly questionable). There is a lot of suspension of disbelief, but it's pure escapist fun.
I've just started reading the Da Vince Code, i do see what some people here are saying; the beginning's of both books are nearly identical!
Also, isn't it odd how no matter what country a character is from, they all talk like americans?

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Post #: 6
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 6/2/2006 9:23:34 PM   
TobiasFunke


Posts: 2611
Joined: 1/10/2005
I think he has some great concepts but poorly executed. The premise intrigued me but the ending and villain of the Da Vinci Code was sooo obvious! And yet its still high in the book charts!

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Post #: 7
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 7/2/2006 11:54:50 PM   
jenzie


Posts: 527
Joined: 12/10/2005
From: in a worldwide firestorm of outrage
thoroughly enjoyed reading both DVC and A&D (which i've just finished)

and we know early on who the main protagonists are, the mystery is what the code actually is .....

< Message edited by jenzie -- 7/2/2006 11:56:41 PM >


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Post #: 8
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 13/2/2006 3:46:20 PM   
Northernlights

 

Posts: 6
Joined: 13/2/2006
I'm determined never to read it.....ever....I think....hopefully

(in reply to Pele)
Post #: 9
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 15/2/2006 3:21:41 PM   
666hannah666

 

Posts: 5
Joined: 14/2/2006
I have never read the books. I have another reason to hate Dan Brown which probably hasnt been mentioned on this post...do any of you guys work in a bookshop? Oh holy christ, i hate the sight of those books. I've had to stare at all of them every single bloody day for the last...i really cant say how long theyve been there...right in front of the desk. And people still buy them! Who still buys them? Please tell me! I want to put pins in their eyes! We still have to order at least 10 in each week and sticker them up on "3 for 2". Maybe theyre so cheap now that people have started buying them for firewood? No? Well, just me then.

(in reply to Northernlights)
Post #: 10
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 15/2/2006 5:33:15 PM   
deadman


Posts: 2754
Joined: 30/9/2005
To all of the people saying they're never gonna read any of Dan Brown's books, just give them a chance. I'd heard a lot of criticism before I read them, which actually made me enjoy the book more seeing as I wasn't expecting much. He just seems to be of those authors that's 'fashionable' to hate at the moment.

(in reply to 666hannah666)
Post #: 11
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 15/2/2006 6:08:16 PM   
furrybastard

 

Posts: 5189
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Ireland
quote:

ORIGINAL: deadman

To all of the people saying they're never gonna read any of Dan Brown's books, just give them a chance. I'd heard a lot of criticism before I read them, which actually made me enjoy the book more seeing as I wasn't expecting much. He just seems to be of those authors that's 'fashionable' to hate at the moment.


I read the first 40 or so pages and felt dumber by the sentence. Its the literary equivalent of a Charlies Angels movie. Without the hot chicks. So just shit then.

(in reply to deadman)
Post #: 12
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 15/2/2006 6:13:02 PM   
deadman


Posts: 2754
Joined: 30/9/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: furrybastard

quote:

ORIGINAL: deadman

To all of the people saying they're never gonna read any of Dan Brown's books, just give them a chance. I'd heard a lot of criticism before I read them, which actually made me enjoy the book more seeing as I wasn't expecting much. He just seems to be of those authors that's 'fashionable' to hate at the moment.


I read the first 40 or so pages and felt dumber by the sentence. Its the literary equivalent of a Charlies Angels movie. Without the hot chicks. So just shit then.



Try reading the rest of the book before you say it's shit. I often find books worse when I first start simply because I haven't got into properly yet. If you still don't like it after finishing it, fair enough.

(in reply to furrybastard)
Post #: 13
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 15/2/2006 6:24:29 PM   
furrybastard

 

Posts: 5189
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Ireland
quote:

ORIGINAL: deadman

quote:

ORIGINAL: furrybastard

quote:

ORIGINAL: deadman

To all of the people saying they're never gonna read any of Dan Brown's books, just give them a chance. I'd heard a lot of criticism before I read them, which actually made me enjoy the book more seeing as I wasn't expecting much. He just seems to be of those authors that's 'fashionable' to hate at the moment.


I read the first 40 or so pages and felt dumber by the sentence. Its the literary equivalent of a Charlies Angels movie. Without the hot chicks. So just shit then.



Try reading the rest of the book before you say it's shit. I often find books worse when I first start simply because I haven't got into properly yet. If you still don't like it after finishing it, fair enough.


Why would I waste my time? Its badly written, its not going to turn into Faulkner if I keep going. The characters and dialogue are ludicrously awful. Its dumb plotting, dumb characters, dumb dialogue.

I don't see why I should finish it - I'm not stupid enuogh to waste my time on something that is clearly shit. 40 or 50 pages is enough in any book to see that. Its not about 'getting into it' - unless I lower my standards to absolute zero.


< Message edited by furrybastard -- 15/2/2006 6:26:02 PM >

(in reply to deadman)
Post #: 14
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 28/5/2009 12:28:48 AM   
MI Cruise


Posts: 3104
Joined: 12/12/2008
From: Shutter Island
I finished reading Angels and Demons two nights ago and since I've watched the 2006 Da Vinci Code movie and have just come back from watching the new Angels and Demons movie, I have got to say that I am a fan, although there are probably many people who might not be, I have learnt a fair bit about cardinals and how Pope's are elected from Angels and Demons, its also interested me in art such as Bernini.
The movie of Angels and Demons was alright however there were many parts of the book that is apparent that they dropped including 3 main characters and the Carmelengo's actions are not explained at all in the movie.
I cant wait to read The Da Vinci Code and compare it to the movie which was also good, The Lost Symbol is out in September and I will definately be there on release to get my copy.

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Post #: 15
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 9/6/2009 9:58:54 AM   
Snake-Eyes


Posts: 9970
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: ZONE 2
I tried to read The Da Vinci Code - Rubbish. Brown ain't no CRICHTON....

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Post #: 16
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 9/6/2009 10:17:01 AM   
sanchia


Posts: 18328
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Norwich
I struggled thorugh the Da Vinci Code and was pretty shocked. It was a book which was 90% exposition, 5% plot and the rest was a muddle of poor writing with a little bit of character work in there (a tiny little bit). As Tobias states (a couple of years ago I notice) above it is a good premise but the execution is poor which is probably a testament to his skill as an author. I think if he cowrote with someone who had some skill at plot construction and character development he could be a part creating a decent book.

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Post #: 17
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 17/9/2009 9:44:31 AM   
HIM


Posts: 9734
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Star Trekkin', across the universe
Anyone read the Lost Symbol yet? It's only a fiver in Asda. I haven't by the by but I will be picking it up. The reviews have been surprisingly kind. I thought there'd be some kind of Dan Brown backlash with critics queueing up to slate his latest, but on the whole they seem to agree that it's a well paced and exciting thriller. Not original in the slightest and containing some extremely corny lines but isn't that what all of his books have reviewed like? So at least he's not dissapeared up his own arse after the success of the Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, which is credit to the author. He knows what he's good at and he knows his limitations and he's stuck to those.

(in reply to sanchia)
Post #: 18
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 17/9/2009 10:01:56 AM   
i stole your car


Posts: 142
Joined: 7/3/2009
Stop reading his fucking books.

Everybody claims to hate this guy and yet he's raking in the $$$ from 300,000 odd sales in the first few hours of release?

I think a few of you might be closet Dan Brown lovers...

I read the Da Vinci code when everyone was making a fuss over it. Then I fed it to my cat. Anyway I'm off to burn down my local bookstore.

(in reply to HIM)
Post #: 19
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 17/9/2009 11:28:00 AM   
Sahara Desert


Posts: 1611
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Death's Door

I was given the new Dan Brown book yesterday. To my disgust, I'm already halfway through it and it's more of the same tosh: a mentalist assassin, Masons pouring out of the woodwork left right and centre (or something), dodgy science and extremely short
 
chapters left on cliffhangers everywhere. Brown treats his readers with contempt as if they know absolutely nothing nor can remember the previous Langdon tales. He also appears to be taking pot shots at publishers, conspiracy theorists et al but whether this is because I can't help reading it while thinking of the whole Da Vinci Code court case fiasco, I don't know.
 
Now fuck off, I need to find out what Langdon's up to with the Maguffin.


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Post #: 20
Dan Brown - The Literary Loss Leader - 17/9/2009 6:06:00 PM   
HIM


Posts: 9734
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Star Trekkin', across the universe
I don't get the Dan Brown bashing. In my experience he's a lot like JK Rowling in that he's getting people to read books who normally wouldn't, which can only be a good thing. Take me as an example. After leaving school I didn't read any books. I much preferred to play video games in my spare time or watch movies and tv shows or if I was reading, it would be a magazine, not a book. Then my girlfriend (who is a complete book nerd) said I had to read this book called The Da Vinci Code. Reluctantly I did and I was amazed at how good the story was. It wasn't like in school where I had to read, I was reading because I wanted to. Naturally I moved on to the three other Dan Brown books and then onto similarly themed books such as The Rule of Four, The Messiah Code, Ice Station, Decipher and various Clive Custler novels.

Eventually though I grew tired of these types of samey books and started to branch out with novels such as I, Lucifer, Contact, His Dark Materials, The Obhorsen trilogy, The Time Traveler's Wife and The Lovely Bones. I've even started to read classics such as Catch-22 and The Catcher In The Rye. So nowadays my bookcase actually contains books (as opposed to just DVDs) and when out shopping I'm just as likely to buy a new book as a DVD.

So yes, I know Dan Brown's books are formulaic, corny and about as intelligent as an average Hollywood blockbuster but if that attracts more people to buying and reading books then that can only be a good thing. It's good for me, it's good for bookshops and in turn it's good for autors too.

(in reply to Sahara Desert)
Post #: 21
RE: Dan Brown - The Literary Loss Leader - 17/9/2009 6:13:42 PM   
Sumintelligentguy


Posts: 3743
Joined: 31/8/2006
quote:

ORIGINAL: HIM

I don't get the Dan Brown bashing. In my experience he's a lot like JK Rowling in that he's getting people to read books who normally wouldn't, which can only be a good thing. Take me as an example. After leaving school I didn't read any books. I much preferred to play video games in my spare time or watch movies and tv shows or if I was reading, it would be a magazine, not a book. Then my girlfriend (who is a complete book nerd) said I had to read this book called The Da Vinci Code. Reluctantly I did and I was amazed at how good the story was. It wasn't like in school where I had to read, I was reading because I wanted to. Naturally I moved on to the three other Dan Brown books and then onto similarly themed books such as The Rule of Four, The Messiah Code, Ice Station, Decipher and various Clive Custler novels.

Eventually though I grew tired of these types of samey books and started to branch out with novels such as I, Lucifer, Contact, His Dark Materials, The Obhorsen trilogy, The Time Traveler's Wife and The Lovely Bones. I've even started to read classics such as Catch-22 and The Catcher In The Rye. So nowadays my bookcase actually contains books (as opposed to just DVDs) and when out shopping I'm just as likely to buy a new book as a DVD.

So yes, I know Dan Brown's books are formulaic, corny and about as intelligent as an average Hollywood blockbuster but if that attracts more people to buying and reading books then that can only be a good thing. It's good for me, it's good for bookshops and in turn it's good for autors too.



Well said...

Even though i disliked Da Vinci Code (the book went off on tangents a lot) it was nonetheless an decent read.


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Post #: 22
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 17/9/2009 8:34:30 PM   
Wilbert


Posts: 9511
Joined: 5/10/2005
From: Dublin: Ireland

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pele

Ahhhh I'm beginning to hate the site of that arsing book. it's got to the point where I'm going to have to read the f*cker and I don't want to but I can't honestly spit vitriol about it if I haven't read it can I? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised. Everywhere I look that sodding book and its compatriots is smugly winking at me. It's like the bastard offsping of Bryan Adams "Everything I do" single. Arrrrgggghhhhhhh. donkey bollocks.

Thankyou I had to get that off my chest.


Have you tried just ignoring it and getting on with your life? That's what I'm doing and it's working out just fine.

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Post #: 23
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 17/9/2009 8:49:45 PM   
HIM


Posts: 9734
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Star Trekkin', across the universe
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wilbert


quote:

ORIGINAL: Pele

Ahhhh I'm beginning to hate the site of that arsing book. it's got to the point where I'm going to have to read the f*cker and I don't want to but I can't honestly spit vitriol about it if I haven't read it can I? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised. Everywhere I look that sodding book and its compatriots is smugly winking at me. It's like the bastard offsping of Bryan Adams "Everything I do" single. Arrrrgggghhhhhhh. donkey bollocks.

Thankyou I had to get that off my chest.


Have you tried just ignoring it and getting on with your life? That's what I'm doing and it's working out just fine.


Pele wrote that nearly four years ago. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for a reply if I were you.

(in reply to Wilbert)
Post #: 24
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 17/9/2009 9:32:41 PM   
Wilbert


Posts: 9511
Joined: 5/10/2005
From: Dublin: Ireland

quote:

ORIGINAL: HIM

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wilbert


quote:

ORIGINAL: Pele

Ahhhh I'm beginning to hate the site of that arsing book. it's got to the point where I'm going to have to read the f*cker and I don't want to but I can't honestly spit vitriol about it if I haven't read it can I? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised. Everywhere I look that sodding book and its compatriots is smugly winking at me. It's like the bastard offsping of Bryan Adams "Everything I do" single. Arrrrgggghhhhhhh. donkey bollocks.

Thankyou I had to get that off my chest.


Have you tried just ignoring it and getting on with your life? That's what I'm doing and it's working out just fine.


Pele wrote that nearly four years ago. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for a reply if I were you.



NO!!!! I demand a response!!!!

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Post #: 25
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 18/9/2009 8:53:14 AM   
Sahara Desert


Posts: 1611
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Death's Door
Finished it early this morning and it is pure trash.
 
As I read most hardbacks with the dust jacket removed, I'm taking it back tonight claiming it was a present and that the recipient (victim?) already had it.

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Post #: 26
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 18/9/2009 9:00:40 AM   
jonathan74


Posts: 809
Joined: 23/12/2005
I've only read the Da Vinci Code, and won't be reading any of Mr Brown's other efforts.

However, it does seem Dan Brown does a lot of good work for charity: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8213355.stm

< Message edited by jonathan74 -- 18/9/2009 9:01:09 AM >


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Post #: 27
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 18/9/2009 9:07:57 AM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7870
Joined: 3/10/2005
I quite enjoy his books....

(in reply to i stole your car)
Post #: 28
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 18/9/2009 9:24:44 AM   
HIM


Posts: 9734
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Star Trekkin', across the universe
No shame in that Old Man, I do too.

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Post #: 29
RE: Dan F**king Brown - 18/9/2009 9:48:37 AM   
CORLEONE

 

Posts: 4716
Joined: 2/11/2005
From: Nakatomi Plaza
Anyone know if the paperback will be out before Christmas? Those hardbacks are too damn heavy

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Post #: 30
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