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RE: Mini Reviews - 12/5/2009 10:06:47 AM   
DJ Rob C: Mark II!


Posts: 34875
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Christmas town
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stewie_Griffin

No, do Let the Right One in first. I demand it.


Sure thing


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Post #: 1921
RE: Mini Reviews - 12/5/2009 5:15:24 PM   
themightyhutch


Posts: 3715
Joined: 18/2/2007
From: surrey
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gimli The Dwarf

I'm so tempted to read that Scrubs review, but I don't want to spoil it.


Don't be spoiled Gimli, it really is a very good episode. That's all I will say.

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Post #: 1922
RE: Mini Reviews - 12/5/2009 7:57:12 PM   
Stewie_Griffin


Posts: 6968
Joined: 3/10/2005
From: St.Albans, Hertfordshire

quote:

ORIGINAL: DJ Rob C: Mark II!


Sure thing



Well, you don't have to if you don't want to.

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Post #: 1923
RE: Mini Reviews - 12/5/2009 8:04:45 PM   
DJ Rob C: Mark II!


Posts: 34875
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Christmas town
I will at some point, it might be an amalgamation of all four (LTROI, Crank 2, Coraline and Star Trek) 

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Post #: 1924
RE: Mini Reviews - 14/5/2009 12:57:10 AM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
SPOILER-FREE REVIEW! ALL SPOILERS IN INVISIOTEXT!

Abrams, 2009

"Pre-credits sequence..."

I've long been a fan of Star Trek. Note the wording - I'm not a 'Trekkie' in the dress-up, speak-Klingon, all-out fan which was so perfectly spoofed in 1999's Galaxy Quest. I'm your regular watched-most-of-the-series kind of fan. I grew up watching the re-re-re-re-re...re-runs of the Original Series, and my parents had them all on VHS, recorded off 'telly. I also watched most of the Next Generation series, all of Deep Space 9, all but the final episode of Voyager (that was frustrating), and the first handful of episodes of Enterprise. I've also seen the films countless times (the Original Series films, that is), not least all six in one crazy, exhausting day last week... So when I heard they were making a prequel of sorts, I was excited. I was a little uncertain on some of the casting choices (the Rohan dude off the Rings trilogy as Bones??) unsure as to how it'd fit into the 'canon', but more excited than trepidatious. What, then, did I make of this new incarnation, boldly going where no series had gone before (got that one out of the way nice and early...)? My insights run deep. Let me share them with you...

"Illogical"

I'll start off with my impressions of where the film goes wrong. Necessarily, this will be in invisiotext. Vulcan! They blew it up! Damn them all to hell. It changes something that is so absolutely essential. It's the Trek universe, Jim, but not as we know it. The Vulcan-Romulan conflict is something that is used to explore (as is always the case with Trek) human aspects, and it does so very well. Without that divide, that eternal conflict, that route is gone. It does open up a whole new direction into which to go boldly (split infinitives are so 23rd century), but I can't help but feel that it is a major change that perhaps could have been avoided.

Time travel has been at the centre of two of the best Trek films - The Voyage Home and First Contact. Time travel films come with their own set of peculiarities and each abides by different rules. I'm not going to try and be logical (!) about this, but it does seem that even on a basic level once the past has changed, the future changes around them. Nimoy-Spock should disappear. However, I'm willing to accept that since Nimoy-Spock was out of his own timeline, that he was somehow immune to the effects of history changing. After all, Doc and Marty were immune, being as they were in 2015 when old Biff went back to 1955 to give himself the Grey's Sports Almanack. They didn't disappear either, so I'll accept it in this film too.

Finally, it's highly, highly unlikely that a cadet would graduate directly to captain. The only allowance I can make to justify it to myself is that drastic times call for drastic measures. Still... 
Other than those three points, I couldn't really fault the film in any major way. Minor niggles I'll mention in the main body of the review below.

"Fascinating"


Much has been made of the fact that this film is made for those who are not Star Trek fans. I feel that much of that side of the publicity is really to overcome the whole Star Trek = For Geeks stigma that it seems to have attached to it. Which is unfair really, and by and large untrue. For while there is much that non-Star Trek fans will enjoy, as a fan I loved it. I loved it as a film fan, and I loved it as a Trek fan. This, Mr Lucas, is how you do prequels. Exciting, breathless, but with a sense not only of the import of certain key scenes, but also of wonder and marvel at it all. To pinpoint a few Trek-moments: We see the Enterprise half-built; we learn why Bones is called Bones; we learn Uhura's first name; we see Kirk beating the infamous Kobayashi Maru test; we see who actually created the test itself; we even get a reference to Kirk's allergy to a particular medicine that is mentioned in one really obvious throwaway line in one of the Original Series films (after last week they've all sort of blurred into one big film). These moments are thrown into the film like dilithium crystals powering a warp drive: the film will work fine without them, but with them it takes it to a whole new warp factor.

This is a different Enterprise. Chekov is there already, as is Uhura. Pike, while Captain with Spock as Commander, has a different destiny. (For the non-Trek fans, Captain Pike appeared in the pilot episode of the Original Series and was never seen again. In fact, the only main cast member who was retained from that pilot was a certain Mr Spock...) The inter-character relationships are different - significantly so in one particular case. Others start off differently ('I don't know, but I like him!') but balance is restored eventually ('green-blooded hobgoblin').

Michael Giacchino's music is, as ever, stunning. It manages to be entirely new, yet still familiar. Only once do we get those four distinct notes that precede the 'Space...the final frontier' title speech, before the end credits themselves. The rest of the time the music twists, turns, and plays around a memorable theme (I've been whistling it on and off since I watched it first last Friday) that is both ethereal, and full of pomp, depending on what is being used to play it on.

A note on the acting. Kudos must go to Quinto and Urban. Both have their performances down to an eeriely accurate tee. Pine is admirable as Kirk, but his performance is more individual. Gone. Are the. Mannered. Speech patterns. Remaining is the interplay between him and Spock - sparks fly, blows exchanged - and Bones - a friendship is nurtured. Pegg as Scotty is surprisingly fresh. I'm waiting for the weight to be added and a moustache to be grown for the inevitable sequel. Yelchin as Chekov provides both a) a realistic Russian character and b) classic dialogue-related comic relief on a par with 'Nuclear wessels'. Cho as Sulu brings the kick-ass, no-nonsense character that Sulu embodies. He also gets the coolest weapon this side of a light-saber. Saldana as Uhura brings a humanity and grit to what was never a particularly memorable character for me. In fact the whole main cast has been fleshed out with distinct personalities and interplay which makes the whole film far more satisfying than you might expect. The success of this film rests, not on the space battle effects, but on the relationships, human or otherwise, at the centre.

Which is not to say that the effects are not awesome. They are. More remarkable still is the success with which the design team have managed to both retain the look and feel of the original Enterprise, with its stark, white, 60s styling, but made it look realistic and workable and....cool... The engineering deck looks like it could actually work - it is teeming with people, and is grubby. Yet the bridge remains bright and crisp - albeit with the rows of lights and buttons replaced with floor to ceiling glass display screens. We see the Enterprise from angles never dreamed of in the 60s. (In one brilliant maneouvre Pike orders for the Enterprise to go below some space debris. They never went below anything in the TV series! Space was almost always just 2D with the Enterprise going to the left or right!)

There are those who will insist that Star Trek is uncool, that it is for geeks, that they're really not excited about seeing this film, that they might get round to it. They're wrong, they should be excited, and they should get round to it now. It's a fine line to tread between satisfying the fans, and appealing to the masses. But somehow, Abrams has done it. Sure there's the odd clunky line of dialogue (but where would Trek be without that?) the odd story hiccup. But for the vast majority of the film, it's a treat. A dilithium crystal-encrusted treat.

"Report"


The Acting - 8/10: as mentioned above almost everyone excels themselves. Bana is given precious little to do, but Quinto and Urban revel in their parts. Quinto and Saldana have real chemistry and their scenes are intensely real.
The Sound - 9/10: I really did like the music. Striking, emotional, and with a nice new rendition of the classic Original Series theme too.
The Look - 9/10: They've really managed to get the balance between workable future and recognisable style from the Original Series. It's where Enterprise failed (one of the places anyway) - it just looked too cool to precede the Original Series. This, however, while still very much a futuristic world, is recognisable as the one from the Original Series.
The Story - 7/10:
This is where it loses most points, as highlighted above. It gets most of the points back on merit of those little Trek-moments, and by merit of the story as a whole working. There are still issues with it tho.
Success of Intent - 10/10: It was to be. In terms of making a film for both fans and non-fans alike, I struggle to think how they might have done it any different.
Overall - 43/50, or:
86%


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Post #: 1925
RE: Mini Reviews - 14/5/2009 1:41:10 AM   
Gimli The Dwarf


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Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Central Park Zoo
A damn fine review, and good to have you back!

I might be the only one who thinks this, but Trek could have been even better had they including Star Trekkin' somewhere in the film

< Message edited by Gimli The Dwarf -- 14/5/2009 1:43:19 AM >


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So, sir, we let him have it right up! And I have to report, sir, he did not like it, sir.

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Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!

Much more better!

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Post #: 1926
RE: Mini Reviews - 14/5/2009 9:09:14 AM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
When Pike asks for the chief medical officer and gets McCoy over the communicator, McCoy says 'he was on the deck six - he's dead', I really expected him to say, 'but not as we know it' afterwards. 

Thanks for the welcome back! Next film at the cinema is a classic - Passport to Pimlico. Never seen it before, looking forward to it.


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Post #: 1927
RE: Mini Reviews - 25/5/2009 7:08:06 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
I find it easier to review newer films for this thread... Thus, I give you Cheri.



Chéri, Frears, 2009


+

I studied Chéri for my English degree. I was supposed to study it, but never got round to reading it and saved myself a few lectures. So I went into this aware of the existence of the book, but not aware of its contents. Michelle Pfeiffer looks sublime here, a fine example of ageing gracefully. And, if you discount everything written below, it's not a bad film at all...

-

Where to start...? Well, the beginning then. The narration is banal and sounds more bored that Harrison Ford's attempt in the original cut of Blade Runner. Only you can't even argue that it's meant to be laconic here - it's just awful. The narration not only sounds banal, but it ends up telling, where really the film should just be showing. It's an example of why narrations are only a good idea if they're very, very well done. We end up being told a lot, but not actually have it mean anything.

And then we meet the characters. As gorgeous as Michelle Pfeiffer still looks, her English accent (at least, I think that's what she was attempting) fell more often than a whore's knickers (an apt metaphor, I feel, given the subject matter). Although even Pfeiffer's plummy attempts were veritably monarchical in comparison to Kathy Bates' 'I'll try the accent once, but that' it' approach to an English accent. And when the two have a scene together, it's like listening to a badly-tuned piano being played very, very badly.

Still, the pair do manage to muster up fairly interesting characters, winsome and charming. With is more than can be said for Rupert Friend's Chéri (yup, Chéri is the bloke...), who manages to be neither charming, nor winsome, and certainly doesn't come close to what I suspect the character is meant to be. With their powers combined, these three (two of whom I know are far more accomplished actors than the script is allowing, and third of whom I'm willing to give another chance) form the central relationship triangle in the film, and it is on these three that the film's overal feel rests. More the pity that the aforementioned script is dire. Adaptations are fiendishly tricky to find the right balance for, never mind if one is adapting two books. (Colette's sequel, The Last of Chéri, is also adapted here, forming one single mess of a film from two books.) And so getting the script right is of utmost importance. With a period film, one would think that the dialogue is readily available (clue: look in the books) and yet it is clunky and unseemly. This, combined with the acting in general, made it palpably difficult to identify with the characters, or even to empathise with them. At one point I thought I was feeling something for one of the characters, but alas it was wind. The music, from the usually accomplished Desplat (who wrote the music for the wonderful Lust, Caution) is emotionally-leading, filling in where the script and acting leave off: we feel emotion not because it is felt on screen, but because the music is forcing us to. Finally, the editing is clumsy and illogical. I am not one to notice these thing at the time, but more at this point when considering the various qualities for review. But even I noticed the editing, and that in itelf is worthy of comment.

If one discounts then, the acting, the accents, the narration, the music, the editing, and the script, what is left is not bad. It's also not very much at all. The biggest only laugh came at the final narrated line, and even that was more of a snort of disbelief at the cack-handed way the film is so callously concluded.

=

The Story - 3/10: I'm sure the books are more accomplished than the film. In fact, the overall crappy quality of the film has made me consider reading the books, now my degree is over...
The Acting - 2/10: 2, and they're both for Michelle Pfeiffer's looks...
The Look - 7/10: OK, it looked good. Darius Khondji did a good job on the cinematography.
The Sound - 4/10: Nuff said above.
Success of Intent - 2/10: Epic fail.
Overall - 18/50, or
36%


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Post #: 1928
RE: Mini Reviews - 25/5/2009 7:11:49 PM   
Rhubarb


Posts: 24508
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From: No Direction Home
I didn't think it was quite that bad. Don't know that i feel strongly enough to write a review though.

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Post #: 1929
RE: Mini Reviews - 25/5/2009 7:15:05 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rhubarb

I didn't think it was quite that bad. Don't know that i feel strongly enough to write a review though.


I find it easiest to write a review if I a) love a film. or b) really, really dislike a film. cf my Beowulf review...


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That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.


Bristol Bad Film Club
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Post #: 1930
RE: Mini Reviews - 25/5/2009 7:46:08 PM   
DJ Rob C: Mark II!


Posts: 34875
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Christmas town
quote:

ORIGINAL: DJ Rob C: Mark II!

I will at some point, it might be an amalgamation of all four (LTROI, Crank 2, Coraline and Star Trek) 


Doh, I still might


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Post #: 1931
RE: Mini Reviews - 26/5/2009 9:52:56 PM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
Thanks guys!!

I appreciate the reviews. Truly.



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Post #: 1932
RE: Mini Reviews - 28/5/2009 12:57:51 PM   
themightyhutch


Posts: 3715
Joined: 18/2/2007
From: surrey
Coming Soon


STAR TREK

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Post #: 1933
RE: Mini Reviews - 2/6/2009 1:57:19 AM   
Gimli The Dwarf


Posts: 77808
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Central Park Zoo
I settled down at my PC about half an hour ago with the full intention of doing a review of Drag Me To Hell, hopefully kickstarting my reviews again. So far I've written.


Drag Me To Hell


Positives



I seem to have lost the ability to write


_____________________________

So, sir, we let him have it right up! And I have to report, sir, he did not like it, sir.

Fellow scientists, poindexters, geeks.

Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!

Much more better!

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Post #: 1934
RE: Mini Reviews - 2/6/2009 3:05:10 AM   
siegfried


Posts: 13582
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From: Long ago and far away
A pity. I've heard so many conflicting opinions of this film, that it would have been good to read a review by someone whose opinion I respect.

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Post #: 1935
RE: Mini Reviews - 2/6/2009 8:59:27 PM   
Gimli The Dwarf


Posts: 77808
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Central Park Zoo
Thank you. That's kind of you to say. I'm no closer to completing it though. I haven't done a proper review for this thread in a very long time. Writer's block or something



_____________________________

So, sir, we let him have it right up! And I have to report, sir, he did not like it, sir.

Fellow scientists, poindexters, geeks.

Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!

Much more better!

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Post #: 1936
RE: Mini Reviews - 9/6/2009 4:46:10 PM   
Zaphod121

 

Posts: 10130
Joined: 20/1/2006
From: Not sure yet.
Thought you might a kick out of this Gimli, my review of ER Season 3...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxNpNBOsm3c

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Post #: 1937
RE: Mini Reviews - 10/6/2009 5:09:40 AM   
Gimli The Dwarf


Posts: 77808
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Central Park Zoo
Yay! Another Zaphod video review!

Oi! Leave Doug and Jeannie alone!


Glad you liked it. Only another 12 seasons to go





_____________________________

So, sir, we let him have it right up! And I have to report, sir, he did not like it, sir.

Fellow scientists, poindexters, geeks.

Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!

Much more better!

(in reply to Zaphod121)
Post #: 1938
RE: Mini Reviews - 10/6/2009 10:23:21 AM   
Zaphod121

 

Posts: 10130
Joined: 20/1/2006
From: Not sure yet.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gimli The Dwarf


Glad you liked it. Only another 12 seasons to go



Yeah well I've got Season 4 to watch and hoping to get Season 5 in a few days so I'm getting there Though to be honest I'm not expecting much post Season 8.

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Post #: 1939
RE: Mini Reviews - 10/6/2009 11:20:49 PM   
Gimli The Dwarf


Posts: 77808
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Central Park Zoo
It's true, the first 8 are the best, but it's never less than good.

_____________________________

So, sir, we let him have it right up! And I have to report, sir, he did not like it, sir.

Fellow scientists, poindexters, geeks.

Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!

Much more better!

(in reply to Zaphod121)
Post #: 1940
RE: Mini Reviews - 11/6/2009 8:51:04 PM   
themightyhutch


Posts: 3715
Joined: 18/2/2007
From: surrey
Wow I totally forgot to do a review.

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Post #: 1941
RE: Mini Reviews - 12/6/2009 10:48:26 PM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
Drag Me To Hell


Positives
1. It's over. Im not at the theatre still watching it.
2. Some soul scaring moments where you almost get to see the "evil" and Im not talking about the gypsy woman. Especially in one scene where you see the black face and yellow eyes.
3. I had the entire theatre to myself. It was awesome, moving from seat to seat to see where the best seat in the house really is.....I found that 'Row 14 Seat 7'......man, thats the stuff right there.
4. It will inspire someone to write something better.
5. The stapled eye scene actually made me genuinely laugh out loud.
6. I laughed at the reviews online. The critics and user reviews on Yahoo!.....man, calling this the best horror movie ever made. Or some just giving the movie a pass because they loved Spider-Man and Evil Dead. I mean, I love Darabont's work, but I'll be the first to admit when he makes something thats shitty.
7. Some of the sets are really cool and full of detail.
8. If you have a girl in mind and want her to jump into your arms during a movie, this is probably it, even if she can't stand you.



Negatives

1. The story is bad. The punsihment doesnt fit the crime which also makes one question the gypsy woman's logic. She had this power to curse someone to that magnitude and this is when she chose it?
2. The scene with the anvil was so ludicrous and dumb that only scenes in "Black Sheep" surpass it in sheer stupidity.
3. SPOILER: The "twist" with the coin and button in the envelopes. I mean, seriously. As soon as she put the button in the envelope, i knew that Justin Long would end up with it since not long before we learned that Justin Long put his "coins" in the same envelope. But if that wasnt enough of a hint, no,.....she then drops the envelope in the car (when they avoid hitting the old man with the cane) and mixes Justin's paperwork, blah blah blah.....
......anyways I sat there saying, come on Sam Raimi, fuck with my mind don't take the easy way out. But he did.
4. The SOUND DESIGN.....now, i dont know if it was just the particularly empty theatre I was in or a miscalculation in the theatres volume level, but my ears were bleeding. I mean, if this was Raimi's strategy for cheap jumps, man not only did he achieve it, he made them even cheaper. I mean, a scarf blows in the wind and it sounds like a trainwreck. A few leafs blow and it sounds like a trainwreck. Now I figure it was the sound of the "evil"---- but everytime ?
5. The final scene was not only predictable it was laughable. I would have rather seen .....SPOILER: Both her and Justin Long die....they both should have been dragged to Hell. You know just for the fuck of it....or have the "liberty dime" belong to the Gypsy....i dont know....something to just make the end more fun.



* FINAL VERDICT............2/5..........


*There has to be something about it I liked, I guess Ill have to wait for the DVD and re-watch it just to find something I could really say, damn, that was cool.
Until then, that is my final score. I thought it sucked on many levels. From storyline to narrative....somethings were so out of place, who edited this film?
Anyhow, I love horror and suspense and all of that, but this film was bad. I wish I could have doctored that script. Anyways take a chick and let her jump into your arms at the first blistering loud noise. Bring ear plugs if you are a bit sensitive to sound. Ouch!!





< Message edited by wgamador -- 12/6/2009 10:50:46 PM >


_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



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Post #: 1942
RE: Mini Reviews - 14/6/2009 2:14:51 AM   
Gimli The Dwarf


Posts: 77808
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Central Park Zoo
Shame you didn't like it, Wags, I think it's one of the films of the year so far. A great blend of laughs and frights.


_____________________________

So, sir, we let him have it right up! And I have to report, sir, he did not like it, sir.

Fellow scientists, poindexters, geeks.

Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!

Much more better!

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 1943
RE: Mini Reviews - 14/6/2009 8:55:16 PM   
Zaphod121

 

Posts: 10130
Joined: 20/1/2006
From: Not sure yet.
Agreed, defo one of the best films I've seen this year and one of the best theater experiences I've had, I came out of the movie really jazzed and excited.

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Post #: 1944
RE: Mini Reviews - 15/6/2009 3:08:26 PM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
Yep. shame. I couldve gone to Terminator Salvation.

Add this to my list of unpopular opinions.

_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



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Post #: 1945
RE: Mini Reviews - 15/6/2009 4:20:38 PM   
DJ Rob C: Mark II!


Posts: 34875
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Christmas town
Is there going to be a review of the month for May? 

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Post #: 1946
RE: Mini Reviews - 15/6/2009 5:03:40 PM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...

quote:

ORIGINAL: DJ Rob C: Mark II!

Is there going to be a review of the month for May? 





I didnt think anyone was into it anymore.. So i had decided not to do it anymore.
But i now realize that you guys do care and since im done with the script challenge, i can re-read the reviews and get back on the wagon.

_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to DJ Rob C: Mark II!)
Post #: 1947
RE: Mini Reviews - 15/6/2009 5:44:02 PM   
DJ Rob C: Mark II!


Posts: 34875
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Christmas town
Wahey 

_____________________________

When Gotham is ashes, you have my permission to die

Third Highest Post Count on the Forum, sad but proud!

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 1948
RE: Mini Reviews - 15/6/2009 8:08:10 PM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...


My bad.

_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to DJ Rob C: Mark II!)
Post #: 1949
RE: Mini Reviews - 16/6/2009 1:43:45 AM   
Gimli The Dwarf


Posts: 77808
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Central Park Zoo
Hell no, I love the monthly awards!! And the yearly ones as well (hint hint)

_____________________________

So, sir, we let him have it right up! And I have to report, sir, he did not like it, sir.

Fellow scientists, poindexters, geeks.

Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!

Much more better!

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 1950
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