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RE: Snakes On A Plane

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RE: Snakes On A Plane - 24/8/2006 10:50:55 AM   

Posts: 6
Joined: 30/9/2005
Saw it last night and loved every minute of it. Hell I even enjoyed the music video at the end!
Sam Jackson was awesome, charming, funny and when that line finally comes everyone loved it!
The real test was I took the girlfriend and she really didn't want to go (she hates films that make you jump!) but even she loved it and said she'd go and see it again! 
This is a great date movie it's got it all scares, laughs, action!!!!
I will never get sick of these mother****in snakes on that mother****in plane.  

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 121
RE: Snakes On A Plane - 24/8/2006 2:06:53 PM   

Posts: 1935
Joined: 30/9/2005

Film journalists hate it when they don't get to see a film before the rest of us. They usually spit the dummy and claim that it's because the film is awful and they don't want bad reviews, while the truth is that press screenings cost money, and some movies just don't need them. SOAP is one of those movies.

The instigation of 'cult' status before the film had even been released was a clever move on the part of the publicists, because the only thingy 'culty' about the film is the title. This is a straight up disaster movie which includes all the Ten Tenets of the Disaster Movie.

1. Say What You See
Snakes. On A Plane. See also 'Airport', 'Towering Inferno'.

2. Character One Day Away From Retirement
In this case it would be Claire, she doesn't bite the dust because Grace, who was offered retirement, does.

3. Character Who Absolutely Cannot Die
This character often fake dies, or is seen in unimaginable peril a la Sean.

4. Heavy Casualties
None of this horror film nonsense where the death count is in single figures.

5. Casting By Benetton
There must be at least four continents represented, no matter where the disaster is set.

6. Foolhardy Mission To Reset Something
There must be some gadget which needs accessing, or resetting, or fixing, and it must usually be fixed by a) the hero, who does it and survives, or b) someone else, who always dies.

7. Developing Romance
Two young lovelies have to exchange some kind of flirty glances at some point.

8. Doomed Frightened Person
One character must be overly panicked and nervous, and they will die horrible for it.

9. Leftovers From Slasher Morality
First casualties will usually be engaged in some sort of naughty activity such as smoking, drug taking, shagging, or just being an arse.

10. Pointless Expert
An 'expert' of some kind must be contacted to tell the hero what the hell to do.They are usually quite pointless and ineffectual characters who say things like 'In theory it could work, but it's never been done before, it could just as easily kill us all!'

So there you go - Snakes On A Plane, THE disaster movie of the 00's.


"Claire, that's disgusting" - Sylar, Season 3

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Post #: 122
RE: Snakes On A Plane - 24/8/2006 2:18:02 PM   

Posts: 7604
Joined: 31/12/2005
From: Mulder's basement
Very true Mr Shiny. Especially the bit about the pointless expert!


"Don't worry. Won't insult legendary underworld solidarity by suggesting you surrender name without torture". - Rorschach (Watchmen).

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Post #: 123
RE: Snakes On A Plane - 24/8/2006 6:01:03 PM   
lord of the pies

Posts: 1251
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: The church of JJ
Loved it, it was worth the hype. Many funny moments and great deaths.


Join The Church of JJ today!

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Post #: 124
RE: Snakes On A Plane - 24/8/2006 8:48:16 PM   

Posts: 12
Joined: 23/8/2006
From: London
Went and watched SOAP last night. i thought it was pretty average. the first half an hour was just complete shite and i thought 'oh god - why did i waste 7 on this' but after the snakes are released things start getting better. although i didnt think much of the gore. while some of the attacks were amusing, there was not much blood being splatered. this was a dissapointment. a couple of jumpy bits yes. some parts were quite funny yes (loved the english buissness man versus lap dog momment) ! the editing was terrible thou and so was some of the acting. i really had to listen carefully to understand what was being said at some points. i was also abit dissapointed by the death count and who died. most of the dead characters never spoke much or at all, and at least 2/3's of the people who died, just died by a snake bite to the neck! not very imaginative if you ask me. i also thought that more of the main characters shud of been bumped off! 
looking round the cinema, it looked as if half the audience had switched off and were playing with there mobiles. there is way too much hype surrounding this movie and i would of enjoyed it alot more if i wasn't aware of how great it was menna be.
althou it has to be said, the best bits were the parts with the snakes. and ultimatly its a film about snakes... on a plane. so i suppose that did live up to expectations!

i give it 3/5 

(in reply to lord of the pies)
Post #: 125
Snakes on a Plane - 24/8/2006 11:45:08 PM   


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: darkest Buckinghamshire!
It does exactly what it says in the title, there are snakes and they are on a plane! Throw in liberal amounts of Sam Jackson and loads of jumps and laughs and you have the perfect B-Movie comedy/horror. If you want something deep and meaningfull, you're watching the wrong film, this is enjoyable for what it is, LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT. Remember that? Where you don't need a degree or mind bending substances to follow the plot.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 126
RE: Snakes on a Plane - 26/8/2006 7:40:30 PM   

Posts: 1238
Joined: 3/10/2005
From: Southampton
What a big, stupid, awful movie.

I was entertained from start to finish.

(in reply to melanie146)
Post #: 127
RE: Snakes on a Plane - 26/8/2006 9:05:09 PM   

Posts: 2805
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: chester
well, i saw this on friday night and despite being a member of the SoaP fan club, i rinsed all pre conceptions from my mind and went in expecting neither the best or worst film of the year. i was pleasently surprised. i really enjoyed it! i thought it was funny, exciting, the snake effects weren't too bad, a guy got his knob bitten by a snake.. *shrug* i got what i wanted, which was a no brainer action movie about snakes. i got it, and i'd happily see it again. ****


"Now i don't know much about security lighting, but i'm guessing they'll be using 180-degree dispersing halogens with motion sensors"

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Post #: 128
- 27/8/2006 11:27:42 AM   


Posts: 502
Joined: 14/10/2005
This film has no inabitions about what it is - a entertaining horror come disaster come action movie. So when your laughing at certain parts of its refreshing compared to certain films which take themselves too seriouslly and still end up looking ridicolous.

Jackson is an embarssment in the film though! He looks fat and looks as if he is going through the motions throughout the whole film (and the includes the you know what line).

The film is enjoyable but stupid, perhaps only just worth your fee to get into the cinema.

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Post #: 129
- 27/8/2006 3:13:30 PM   


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/7/2006
the premise of this film was so awful that it had to be great, and it didn't disappoint. it did, however, give me a fresh insight on my mother's fear of snakes... Surprisingly i actually enjoyed this film more than pirates and X-men 3 put together and so i give it four stars.

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Post #: 130
- 27/8/2006 5:28:39 PM   


Posts: 10
Joined: 28/1/2006

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Post #: 131
RE: - 27/8/2006 7:35:05 PM   

Posts: 433
Joined: 26/2/2006
From: A Supermassive Black Hole
Well I just got back from Snakes and I thought it was a great laugh, and quite scary (well, I am a girl ) and really gross. I laughed so hard at the bit with the *spoiler* guy going for a piss I had tears rolling down me face! It didn't disappoint at all, and much more enjoyable than Pirates, which I thought sucked.

Lived up to the hype, so up yours haters and film snobs!



'This isn't life! Its just...stuff!'

'At last, we can retire and give up this life of crime'

Member of COBW

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Post #: 132
RE: RE: - 27/8/2006 8:46:09 PM   

Posts: 681
Joined: 4/10/2005
Well, it's to the films credit that it actually manages to live up to the hype. This is one of those films where the hammy acting and dodgy editing (it's pretty easy to see which bits were added in the famed reshoots) actually add to the charm of the whole thing.

In short, I laughed, I jumped, I had a lot of fun. Best seen with lots of mates after a couple of drinks.



Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Post #: 133
RE: Fuck YEAH! - 28/8/2006 9:01:43 PM   

Posts: 18
Joined: 20/8/2006
From: Townsville
When I went on the opening day the cinema was full, ther were people wearign toy snakes around their necks and everyone cheered whenever Sam Jackson did something cool. Now THAT is what makes the cinema so good! This movie totally rocked - as a pure, kickass popcorn movie it cannot be beat


How about the power to kill a yak, from 200 yards away? WITH MIND BULLETS!

(in reply to Funkyrae)
Post #: 134
Fun in a cinema! - 30/8/2006 11:52:46 AM   

Posts: 2066
Joined: 3/10/2005
From: Manchester
If you hear the words “snakes on a plane” and think “what a load of arse” then chances are this film isn’t for you. If, however, you think “lorks-a-lordy, that sounds like a rollicking good ninety minutes and no mistake” then chances are you’ll have a really good time. This is pure cinematic tosh, made by fanboys for fanboys. It’s carefully calculated to do exactly what it says on the tin: there’s snakes, right. And they’re on a plane. Everything you’d expect from a movie like this, it delivers: all the clichés of an evil snakes monster movie, plus all the clichés of a stricken aircraft disaster movie, plus all the clichés of a Sam Jackson kicks arse movie. And really, whether the film deserves two stars of four depends entirely on whether that scenario fills you with delight or dread. If a snake biting a penis makes you laugh, then chances are you’ll enjoy this movie. People who’ve been following its LOTR-esque net hype will know how it grew from being a stock genre B-flick to being something of a minor phenomenon, with reshoots and dialogue changes to up its certificate and please the fans; clearly, the intention was to create a horror-adventure hybrid with its tongue firmly in its cheek, to sit alongside genre stalwarts such as Tremors. And they’ve succeeded: it’s a gloriously gruesome movie, full of foaming eyeballs and weeping sores. The scary bits are genuinely scary, and the horror bits are frequently horrific. It’s casually nasty, brutal even, and this malicious streak is both a commendation (there’s a fair few corpses by the end) but also a negative. Because it’s so cruel, it’s not quite as endearing as Tremors or a broader comedy such as Shaun of the Dead; and it’s not quite as manic or exciting as, say, From Dusk Til Dawn. However, it is phenomenally entertaining, a very funny, very gory little movie which will have you squirming one minute and giggling the next. And, let’s not forget, it’s got Sam Jackson in it, who’s just a star every second he’s on screen. You’ll like it – if you like that sort of thing.

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Post #: 135
SoaP - 1/9/2006 8:17:53 PM   


Posts: 14
Joined: 4/10/2005
Found SoaP wildly erratic, probably down to the rewrites, and some awful acting. Still had good fun with the laugh-out-loud snake antics. Imagine how good it could have been with better writing!
Make the gangster baddy more menacing and evil by putting more in the opening, pre-plane bit (by far the most dreadful bit of cinema I've seen for a while). Lose the annoying passengers (girl with dog, pompous brit) and make more of the stewards and the co-pilot (smiled when Champ came on the scene). Fix that and add 2 stars.

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Post #: 136
- 4/9/2006 2:18:21 PM   


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/8/2006
(Note: Some spoilers in review)

How the snakes got lose on board a plane? That is an intriguing question on my mind before I glance at the synopsis. I thought it must be some irresponsible zoologist who may have forgotten to shut the cage. Whatever, since this movie is by Samuel L Jackson, one of the finest actors of our time, I thought I should give it a try.

It turns out that the movie is totally different from what I perceived. Believe it or not, this got nothing to do with Madagascar. It is a cop-versus-criminal thriller. Jackson plays an FBI Agent on a mission to escort a witness on a flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles. You got it. Things are not so easy for our Supercop. The Mobster Boss planted hundred of snakes on the airplane, in an attempt to eliminate the said witness.

Creative plot? I don't think so.

First, how does the hundred over species of snakes, which includes a few enormous Anacondas look-alike, managed to escape the tight airline securities and remain dormant for hours in the luggage cabin before the attack? I don't need to be any snake's expert to realise that something must be very wrong with these highly vicious species for their abilities to stay harmonize within a large box for hours.

Secondly, with over 50 surviving passengers, including a muscular, brave looking kick boxer, standing together to fight the snakes, it doesn't make any sense to me that they simply leave the surviving co-pilot, who was supposedly the most important man on the plane, in the flight control alone. You got it. Soon, the smart snakes killed the man and the plane prepare for a finale crash landing. Besides leaving the pilot alone, there was one scene where they allow Jackson to nervously crawl through some electrical duct, alone, to restart the air-circulation? Doesn't anyone know the meaning of "all round security" anymore?

Finally, to bring down a plane and kill anyone within, I don't think you need to employ such complicated "snakes

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Post #: 137
RE: - 5/9/2006 4:15:15 PM   

Posts: 4117
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: the cupboard under the stairs
Just one word: Excellent

the best Hollywood action film in recent year. Silly but so so entertaining.

Definately worth all the hype.


"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain"

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Post #: 138
RE: RE: - 5/9/2006 9:20:44 PM   
Shifty Bench


Posts: 14860
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Land of the Scots
I thought it was average. I rarely laughed and never jumped once. The film was hindered by the re-editing, boobs  and snakes biting a man's penis does not a good movie make. Saying that though, you can't deny Sam  Jackson, the man is just so damn cool.

I must be getting old, because if I saw this 10 years ago, I would have loved this film.

3/5 (see, I did like it just didn't love it)


Extended Edition Podcast- Episode 46:Threads Of Destiny (Star Wars Fan Film)

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Post #: 139
it is what it sez! - 6/9/2006 1:43:00 AM   


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/2/2006
From: Exmouth
This was a suprisingly good film, that managed to keep the excitment levels high throughout (using every trick in the book admittedly) . Using a rubbish story, which was well scripted and well though out, it turns out to be a very enjoyable film that does exactly what is sez on the tin!

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Post #: 140
it is what it sez! - 6/9/2006 1:43:14 AM   


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/2/2006
From: Exmouth
This was a suprisingly good film, that managed to keep the excitment levels high throughout (using every trick in the book admittedly) . Using a rubbish story, which was well scripted and well though out, it turns out to be a very enjoyable film that does exactly what is sez on the tin!

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 141
- 30/9/2006 4:10:44 PM   

Posts: 517
Joined: 17/9/2006
after all the hype about this in Empire I was hoping this wouldnt turn out be be a dissapointment- but was I wrong. much better than Empire's 3star review. the best laugh i had all year. bring on the mutherfukin' DVD

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Post #: 142
Utterly fucking abysmal... - 29/12/2006 10:35:36 PM   
Jim Bob

Posts: 178
Joined: 8/10/2005
..whilst i was hardly expecting Citizen Kane, i didn't expect it to be this terrible!

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Post #: 143
- 10/3/2007 4:36:01 PM   

Posts: 517
Joined: 17/9/2006
this movie rocks !!

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Post #: 144
- 8/8/2007 10:24:16 PM   
Big Alex


Posts: 47
Joined: 2/8/2007
Although critticised with mixed review's i would like to comment on that this is very entertaining, but lacks with it's corny section's. L Jackson gives a decsent performance, and deffinetly make's the use of the blood and gore throughout this flick. as i picked the dvd up and looked on the back and thought this would be good.

The rating for this film is a 15, BUT at this much blood thi should be given a rating of an 18, trust me it is violant, but a very good cinema experiance.

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Post #: 145
Really bad film - 12/8/2010 3:59:46 PM   


Posts: 91
Joined: 19/1/2009
There is nothing to like about this film accept the title. Sam L J is wasted and every other character you just want to be killed off as quickly as possible. Very boring, filled with bad CGI and bad scripting. Above all else it makes no sense. Of all the ways to kill a plane passenger, why would you use snakes. And the guy who lands the plane cause he can do it on Playstaion, ugh. Dismal stuff.

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Post #: 146
Same Old Shizzle - 24/8/2011 10:20:23 PM   


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/8/2010
The whole point of acting is to encompass a whole range of different roles, or fear of being typecast. And that's the obvious trap Sammy Jackson here has fallen into. His boring, bland FBI character helps drag the soggy dialogue to it's murky depths, and the whole thing feels laboured and clumsy. Truthfully, there really is nothing good about the film. Maybe except for the stewardesses. Apart from that, this motion picture is one to be put in the microwave...

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Post #: 147
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