jobloffski
Posts: 1837
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: elsewhere
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Personal geek-re-write of the plot for TATM...
The Angels Take Everything...
Rory gets out of bed one morning, yawning, he's 'in his pants' again...goes to pick up the mail, there's a shape behind the door, he opens the door, mystified, it;s an angel, Rory double takes (comic effect) zap!!! he's gone. Music over upset looking Amy being led by Doctor to a gravestone, Rory's name, Amy mystified, tears, not a word spoken. opening titles.. (set up the key emotional dilemma at once, THEN you start giving context).
Amy in Tardis, distraught, what's happening Doctor (this can be the one time the bravado can slip, now, this once, she finally needs the Doctor to be the hero)...I don;t know...
River investigating time...give her more viciousness, she's trying to find her father...She pieces the puzzle together and the is NO REASON WHATSOEVER THIS STORY HAS TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH NEW YORK, WHICH JUST ADDS TO THE SCREENTIME LOCATION SHOTS THAT TAKE AWAY FROM TELLING THE STORY WHEN THERE'S ONLY 45 MINS TO WORK WITH.
Alternate between Tardis (Doctor and Amy) so you have scenes showing what they mean to each other and River getting closer to the truth (don't go for noir stylings, just have her following clues, detective tropes automatically covered). The two paerts of the structure strung onto a series of scenes of Rory, still in his pants (for comic effect) with a more recent date on the screen each time, he is older each time, familiarity with the pants makes it no longer so funny and increasingly horrible that he is so undignified, and getting closer to the date on his gravestone.
River finds equipment that can detect DNA through time and space (or adapts time travel wristband to do this when she finds out how). Overjoyed to have found her father she tells the others, they all head for the location, the three seperate story strands converge. We know they are gonna be shocked, we're prepared, they arrive, together, they all see him at the same time. Rory dies before the word Amy has left his lips.
Emotional crisis, solution found, up the stakes, the reason the Angels are targeting Rory is his long lifespan makes him tasty, so the reason they're after him is he waited for Amy, and that flows naturally/adds to the flow of we're together because you waited for me, don't you dare think I'll let you leave me now, . The can live happily ever after (before?), they just have to die to do it. They all come to terms with it, then Rory and Amy jump. We know they wont die, but its still emotional, dignified. Crossfade to Young Amelia smiling at the sound of the tardis arriving. To keep in with referencing earlier eps, the final decision at the end Would be Amy's choice, she has previously shown she would rather be dead than live in a world without Rory, and she would be being true to established traits if she were make the same choice again, now its not in a dream (although technically dying and still living out their lives is a bit of a have your cake and eat it situation (an alternative could have been Rory making the sacrifice and Amy having to leave the Doctor because. 'The Angels have taken everything from me, I can't look at you any more and not know that...with the living happily ever after (before?) option, the Angels took everything from The doctor, with perhaps a River kiss off line 'Not quite everything' or whatever).
All the exposiiton sorted before the leap, the story strands all leading to that point. Nobody wants it to end, but it has to.
No New York Gimmick, no book motif, no noir stylings, no muffing the dramatic flow by building to more than one emotional climax because the guy with all the ideas apparently can't be script edited by anyone, cos he;s the boss (same issue as RTD days, on that score, and every writer has ideas sometimes that aren't up to par or too masny things going on in a story to its detriment, and should have the sense to know that, not least because it always seems to be the case with OTHER writers!) No self conscious reference to not liking endings, have the realisation for the characters that it is an ending when it is upon them (after all the previous episode ended with the 'let's keep travelling' thing so an ending, as a sucker punch to all main characters who had no idea it was coming, even if the audience do, with us waiting for how it hurts them when it comes, much more effective dramatically.
Or whatever, just had the about thought pop into my head, and jotted it here.
< Message edited by jobloffski -- 5/10/2012 1:05:37 PM >
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Yes, dreamers dream and doers do. But if dreamers DON'T dream, doers don't have anything TO do. Everything that is only here because people exist, only exists because someone thought of it., or in other words, dreamed it.
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