mandarin
Posts: 297
Joined: 21/3/2006
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crossfade
CROSSFADE have released the video for their new single 'Invincible' from their new album ''Fallling Away'' on Columbia Records on August 29 at this location:
http://music.yahoo.com/ar-306038-videos--Crossfade
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arch enemy and napalm podcast
Available exclusively on the Century Media August Podcast is unreleased music from stalwart Century Media artists ARCH ENEMY, DIECAST and NAPALM DEATH. ARCH ENEMY’s infamous metal brother’s Chris and Michael Amott display their dual six-string assault in the live version of Ravenous taken from their August 8 DVD release Live Armageddon. Making its worldwide premiere is the song “Fade Away” taken from Boston’s favorite sons DIECAST September 19 release Internal Revolution. Don’t miss your first opportunity to hear new music from NAPALM DEATH’s September 19 release Smear Campaign, “When All Is Said And Done.” The Podcast, with all this music and more, is available as a free download at iTunes.com, or for your listening pleasure at the Century Media website here.
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Gwar today gwarn 2moro
GWAR have been pretty busy this summer, most notably destroying town after town on the Sounds of the Underground tour. The band is set to release their most crushing release yet Beyond Hell on August 29th via DRT Entertainment. An e-card has been made available streaming four tracks off the upcoming album available at this location.
There will also be a deluxe limited edition released of the album, which includes expanded artwork and behind the scenes footage as seen on the SlavePit TV weekly summer web series at this location. The DVD was produced by the New York based video staff of Metal Injection, and includes, for the first time, behind the scenes footage of the creation of the new costumes, as well as hilarious footage of GWAR in the studio recording with producer Devin Townsend (STRAPPING YOUNG LAD)
The band recently shot a video for the lead single off the record, a cover of ALICE COOPER's "School's Out". The video should be available shortly, but in the meantime, director David Brodsky of My Good Eye has made photos/screen caps from the video available here.
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Former/current/whatever BLACK SABBATH frontman OZZY OSBOURNE is hard at work on two new albums and the first one could be ready by February.
"I don't want to release an album if it's not a great album," the 1970s heavy metal pioneer said in an interview in New York on Friday, declining to give many details about the album.
"I primarily write an album for myself, and if the world likes it, great," he said. "I'm just hoping that I can get a good couple of albums out."
OSBOURNE was cautious about when the album would be ready, but his wife, Sharon, who is also his manager, said "hopefully" it would released in February.
The self-proclaimed "Prince of Darkness" said he was working on the two albums with guitarist ZAKK WYLDE.
"I can't say anything about the songs," OSBOURNE said at an event in New York to launch a Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt to raise money for his wife's cancer charity.
OSBOURNE said he was enjoying playing on the smaller second stage at OZZFEST this year because it allowed him to get closer to the audience.
"I look at the audience sometimes and I go 'Do they ever grow up and get older?'" he said, expressing some surprise at his enduring popularity with a whole new generation of fans.
"They come, they like it, and they bring their friends. It's weird," he said, adding: "I'm not complaining."
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MTV2’s Discover & Download
MTV2’s Discover & Download show is rolling out with a special live version of the show - Discover & Download Live, which airs this Saturday, August 5 at 8 pm on MTV2.
The following artists will be performing their singles live on the show:
Cartel – “Honesty”
Head Automatica – “Graduation Day “
Lupe Fiasco – “Kick Push”
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – “Face Down”
Immediately following the show you can go to http://www.mtv2.com/#discover_download/ to download the songs that were featured on the show along with others live tracks that were performed during their set.
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Benjamin for free
Clear Channel Music is previewing BREAKING BENJAMIN’s entire new album, Phobia, all this week! Check out the full CD, featuring the hit “The Diary of Jane,” here.
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Metallica
How many sleepless nights have new parents spent trying to soothe a restless newborn? With the August 29 release of "Lullaby Renditions of Metallica" (cover), a solution is on the way. Enter Sandman.
That's right, the music that set the standard for aggressive, concussion-inducing rock will soon be lulling infants to sleep through dreamy re-workings of their head-banging fury. Classics like "Battery" and "Master of Puppets" feature glockenspiel, vibraphone, melotron, harps, bells and more. The music is arranged and performed by Michael Armstrong.
Part of the Rockabye Baby! series from Baby Rock Records, the METALLICA edition includes 11 of the band's most well-known songs. For those who grew up cranking "...And Justice for All" until their ears bled, it's a chance to share with a new generation the music of a band that's sold 29 million albums. At appropriate volume levels, of course.
Due on August 29, the METALLICA version is one of the first three releases in the series, along with albums of RADIOHEAD and COLDPLAY renditions. Future releases will focus on music from TOOL, THE CURE, NIRVANA, PIXIES, BJORK, PINK FLOYD, THE EAGLES, LED ZEPPELIN, THE BEATLES, THE BEACH BOYS, NO DOUBT, SMASHING PUMPKINS, and QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE.
Children's music is the fastest growing musical category. The Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions series is targeting today's parents with today's tastes in a way that's gentle enough for even the youngest listener.
The albums will be available both in the respective artist's bin and "Children's Music" bin at retailers. Visit www.babyrockrecords.com for additional information and sound clips.
"Lullaby Renditions of Metallica" track listing:
01. And Justice For All
02. Battery
03. Enter Sandman
04. Wherever I May Roam
05. Nothing Else Matters
06. The Unforgiven
07. One
08. (Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth
09. Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
10. Fade To Black
11. Master of Puppets
Check out audio samples at this location.
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WHITESNAKE'
Steamhammer/SPV has announced the signing of WHITESNAKE, one of the greatest and most acclaimed hard rock acts of all time. November 3, 2006 in Germany and November 6, 2006 in Europe will see the arrival of WHITESNAKE's new double live album, "Live ... In The Shadow Of The Blues", capturing for posterity the infectious enthusiasm that the band has presented all over Europe during this year's festival season.
For thirty years, WHITESNAKE have been among the most influential representatives of their genre, having produced numerous rock music classics such as "Here I Go Again", "Is This Love", "In The Still Of The Night", "Fool For Your Loving", "Ain't No Love In The Heart Of The City" and "Walking In The Shadows Of The Blues".
"Live ... In The Shadow Of The Blues" includes almost all the remarkable hits from WHITESNAKE's career, as well as two timeless DEEP PURPLE classics in "Burn" and "Stormbringer". Coverdale was the frontman of the legendary British act between 1973 and 1976, making a significant contribution to numerous PURPLE highlights during this era. "Live ... In The Shadow Of The Blues" also includes four previously unreleased tracks in "Ready To Rock", "If You Want Me (I'll Come Running)", "All I Want Is You" and "Dog", eagerly awaited by all WHITESNAKE fans. The strictly limited version of the double album will be available in a top-quality digipack, featuring a number of surprises, among them the bonus track "Crying In The Rain", including a haunting drum solo by drum legend Tommy Aldridge.
Connoisseurs consider the current WHITESNAKE lineup one of the technically most accomplished in the band's history. The two outstanding guitar players — Doug Aldrich (ex-DIO) and Reb Beach (WINGER, ex-DOKKEN) — continue the long tradition of excellent guitarists that has always distinguished WHITESNAKE. The exceptional drummer Tommy Aldridge has been with the group for over twenty years, and bassist Uriah Duffy and keyboarder Timothy Drury are two world-class musicians who complement the lineup perfectly.
"Live...In The Shadow Of The Blues" track listing:
CD 1:
01. Bad Boys
02. Slide It In
03. Slow An' Easy
04. Love Ain't No Stranger
05. Judgement Day
06. Is This Love
07. Blues For Mylene
08. Snake Dance
09. Crying In The Rain
10. Ain't No Love In The Heart Of The City
11. Fool For Your Loving
12. Here I Go Again
13. Still Of The Night
CD 2:
01. Burn - Stormbringer – Burn
02. Give Me All Your Love Tonight
03. Walking In The Shadow Of The Blues
04. The Deeper The Love
05. Ready An' Willing
06. Don't Break My Heart Again
07. Take Me With You
08. Ready To Rock (new studio recording)
09. If You Want Me - I'll Come Running (new studio recording)
10. All I Want Is You (new studio recording)
11. Dog (new studio recording)
Bonus track (Limited Edition):
13. Crying In The Rain (extended version with Tommy's drum solo)
Chdck out a new video message from David Coverdale at this location.
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SHADOWS FALL
Tommy Mann, Jr. of The Orange Leader recently conducted an interview with SHADOWS FALL frontman Brian Fair. A couple of excerpts from the chat follow:
On the band's musical influences:
"We're old-school metal fans. We're fans of bands like JUDAS PRIEST, OZZY, and IRON MAIDEN, as well as the bands from the Bay Area metal scene. The average age of the guys in the band is about 32, so we're the old guys in the music biz, I guess."
On touring behind their latest CD, "Fallout from the War":
"It's a pretty short tour. It really just got under way on July 10. We couldn't do a big eight- or 10-week tour because we are planning to enter the studio in August for pre-production work on our next record."
"We just drove 800 miles from California for this show in Albuquerque. We have a lot of drives like this because we have to keep working our way around the big tours like Ozzfest, the SLAYER tour, and the Warped Tour."
On their two stints on Ozzfest:
"We played on Ozzfest in 2003 on the second stage. It was a great platform for us. We felt validated when we were asked to play on the main stage on the 2005 Ozzfest tour. That kind of exposure has helped earn us so many fans."
On doing his best to take care of it when he is out on the road.
“I work out a lot when we are on the road. Keeping myself in good physical shape is just one aspect, and I make sure I don't drink before shows. This tour isn't so bad since it is so short, but we do perform about an hour or so of total insanity each night."
Read the entire interview at www.orangeleader.com.
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GAIA
Norwegian power metallers GAIA EPICUS have completed work on their third album, entitled "Victory", at Top Room Studios in Lunner, Norway.
GAIA EPICUS, who recently parted ways with Sound Riot Records, have already received offers from several record labels that wish to release the new album, but nothing has been signed yet. The cover painting for the CD will be created by J.P. Fournier, who was also responsible for the band's first album cover, "Satrap", in 2003.
01. New Life
02. Iron Curtain
03. The Sign
04. Revenge is Sweet
05. In Memory
06. Awaken the Monster
07. Rise of the Empire
08. When Darkness Falls
09. Fortress of Solitude
10. Through the Fire
11. Victory
Check out audio samples at this location.
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BLEEDING THROUGH
BLEEDING THROUGH is currently dominating their run on Ozzfest 2006, returning for their sophomore year to co-headline the second stage. The band's new album, "The Truth", has been going strong since its release earlier this year, garnering much attention from fans and media alike. As an added bonus, fans have been able to see BLEEDING THROUGH vocalist Brandan Schieppati on stage with good friends AVENGED SEVENFOLD, singing a cover of PANTERA's "Walk". Speaking of the collaboration, Brandan says, "AVENGED SEVENFOLD is from our hometown in Orange County, and we took them out on our first tour. We have been close for awhile, and when they asked me to sing on stage with them, I accepted right away. They are singing the song as a tribute to Dimebag Darrell, and also to inform the younger generation of the important role of PANTERA in metal's musical evolution."
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SLAYER
A brand new SLAYER track, entitled "Skeleton Christ", was premiered Tuesday night (August 1) on the "Mike Davies Rock Show" on BBC Radio 1. Listen to a replay of the program at this location (the SLAYER track appears at around the 19:06:30 mark).
As previously reported, SLAYER will film a war-themed video for the song "Eyes of the Insane" with director Tony Petrossian (KILLSWITCH ENGAGE, SLIPKNOT, STONE SOUR). No further details are available at this time.
Due on August 8, "Christ Illusion" is SLAYER's first new studio album since 2001, and the first recorded by the band's original line-up — Kerry King (guitar), Tom Araya (bass, vocals), Jeff Hanneman (guitars), Dave Lombardo (drums) — since 1990's "Seasons In The Abyss". "Christ Illusion" was produced by Josh Abraham and executive-produced by Rick Rubin.
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ZOMBIE
Dimension Films has set an October 19, 2007 release date for Rob Zombie's new version of the classic 1978 horror film "Halloween".
Zombie recently said that his movie won't be a sequel to the original film, but he left the details a little vague. Would the movie then be a prequel or a straight remake? Zombie told Launch that his "Halloween" will be a little bit of both. "I basically went back and just came up with the idea of basically — not essentially a remake, but a very extended prequel sort of combined with an update, say, of the first film," he said. "You're starting from scratch but in sort of a more detailed way. That's the way I thought it would be exciting for fans of the original, because it's not just the same old thing, and it would be exciting for people that never saw the original."
The original "Halloween" was directed by John Carpenter and followed a masked murderer named Michael Myers who comes back to his hometown to begin a new killing spree decades after being committed to an asylum.
Zombie said that other characters from the original, in addition to Myers, would appear in his script, which is in its early stages.
Production on the film could begin later this year.
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SCORPIONS
Veteran German hard rockers SCORPIONS were videotaped performing "Lovedrive" live in Malá Skála, Czech Republic on Friday (July 28) for the Benátská Noc 2006 Festival. Watch the performance at YouTube.com.
As previously reported, SCORPIONS will have their Wacken Open Air performance broadcast live on the Internet via IZ-Radio (web site) today (Thursday, August 3) beginning at 9:45 p.m. CET (time zone converter).
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ALICE
Alice Cooper visited CNN's "Live From..." on Wednesday (August 2) to talk with host Kyra Phillips about his plans to build a new teen center in Phoenix, Arizona. Watch the interview here.
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AMORAL
Finnish melodic death metallers AMORAL have posted the following message on their official web site:
"The studio has been booked for the recording of the third album. Hämeenlinna Rock City awaits us again, as we enter studio Sound Supreme in January 2007. If all goes well (Janne Saksa doesn't throw us out, we don't get carried away with the pinball machine etc.) we should be done by mid-March.
"Now, the question is: what the hell is there to do in Hämeenlinna during wintertime? It's not likely we'll be going for a swim or to throw frisbee in January, so we have no idea how to spend our free time after working hours. Any and all good ideas and suggestions are welcomed to the guestbook!
"No release date has yet been decided on, but expect to hear new music in the summer of '07. New material is coming out great, so we have no worries about making the deadline. We cannot wait to start playing the new **** live! There's some serious gallows pole rock 'n' roll to be unleashed..."
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BULLET
BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE will embark on a U.K. headlining tour in November. Support on the dates will come from BLEEDING THROUGH and AS I LAY DYING. The details are as follows:
Nov. 13 – Leeds, UK @ University
Nov. 14 - Liverpool, UK @ University
Nov. 16 - Norwich, UK @ UEA
Nov. 17 - Cambridge, UK @ Corn Exchange
Nov. 19 - Glasgow, UK @ Barrowlands
Nov. 20 - Edinburgh, UK @ Corn Exchange
Nov. 21 - Newcastle, UK @ Academy
Nov. 22 - Manchester, UK @ Apollo
Nov. 24 - Cardiff, UK @ Uni
Nov. 25 - Brighton, UK @ Dome
Nov. 27 - Birmingham, UK @ Academy
Nov. 28 - Hammersmith, UK @ Apollo
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DANZIG
DANZIG recently shot a video for the song "Crawl across Your Killing Floor" outside of Los Angeles. The track will be included on the upcoming "Lost Tracks of Danzig" collection, a two-CD set of previously unreleased DANZIG tracks spaning the band's entire career — from the 1988 self-titled debut to the present. A November release is expected.
As previously reported, Glenn Danzig's long-awaited "Black Aria II" CD, the follow-up to the original "Black Aria" (1993), will be available in stores on September 19, 2006. The album, the material for which has apparently been written for five years, is a classical, operatic piece based on Lilith, the mythological first wife of Adam, according to Danzig. "It's different from the first record but similar in a lot of ways," he said. Check out the cover artwork at this location.
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ARCH ENEMY Frontwoman Offers 'Screaming' Tips
ARCH ENEMY frontwoman Angela Gossow has posted the following message on her MySpace page:
"This is for everybody who is sending me the 'screaming advice' requests. I hope you find some useful info here..
"My short-cut vocal advice:
"Get some singing teaching/vocal coaching for the basics. i.e. breathing techniques, warm-ups. You have to use diaphragm breathing and rip-cage/back breathing. No chest-breathing and raised shoulders please!
"If you can't afford lessons, go and buy the DVD 'The Zen Of Screaming' from Melissa Cross. It's ram-packed with info, tips, explanations and artist features. You can order it at www.melissacross.com.
"Screaming/growling involves the vocal cords, but also the false cords. Make sure you got good control over them. Do plenty of exercise, which should also include melodic singing.
"Keep you body and your voice healthy. Smoking is not a good idea and so is drinking alcohol in large amounts. It eventually makes your vocal cords more vulnerable. Do sports (great for stamina and lung function) and eat healthy. Very spicy, fried or sugary food irritates the throat, causes acid reflux (number one cause for voice disorders!) and weakens your muscles. And vocal cords are muscles!
"Find out your range. If you are a soprano, don't try to sound like Chris Barnes. If you are an alto, approach those black metal screams with care.
"Get a good P.A. for the rehearsal room. Screaming is loud. Yes, I do not believe in muted screaming! But if you scream too hard you strain your throat unnecessarily and you will likely get sore. Or you start to bleed. Then run to the doctor. You have a hemorrhage on your chords!
"If you are sick, try not to scream. If you have to anyway (playing a show), try to avoid talking during the day and warm up your voice properly. Drink plenty of warm water with honey. It soothes the inflammation. If you get really bad, get a steroid shot to reduce the swelling on the cords and antibiotics to stop the inflammation. This is a last resort though this stuff is really, really bad for your health!
"If you suffer from allergies and asthma (like I do), make sure you are on the right medication. Some asthma sprays make you hoarse and more prone to colds, irritations etc. Try out a few, until you find the right one. Take antihistamines if you suffer from airborne allergies and have to perform outside or in a very dusty environment. Avoid passive smoking.
"Enjoy what you do, scream out your frustration, anger, whatever but always stay controlled. Never push too hard, especially live. I do it plenty though, its so much fun. I try to restrict it to the last shows of a tour, where I am allowed to blow my voice out a little, hehe. But only if I know I have a two-week break after that and plenty of time for voice recovery!
"Go to an ENT once a year and have your vocal cords and larynx checked. If you are constantly hoarse or you suddenly lose your upper range, you are very likely developing nodules. Stop immediately with the screaming and seek professional advice: first a doctor, then a vocal coach. You are doing something wrong. Maybe it's not the way you sing/scream, but more the way you talk!
"Stay metal! Boyish singing in the chorus is for emo kids. I love clean vocals but only the raw metal style. Rob Halford is one of my faves.
"These are just tips and no 'must-dos.' You can do whatever you like, really. These tips are interesting, if you are just starting out or you are experience trouble with your voice."
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IRON
IRON MAIDEN's official web site has been updated with the official cover artwork by Melvin Grant for the single "The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg". Check it out at this location.
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ETERNAL TRAGEDY
Guitarist Stefania Ponzilacqua of the Italian metallers ETERNAL TRAGEDY has announced that the group's next album — to be produced by Tim Aymar (CONTROL DENIED) and engineered by Curran Murphy (ex-ANNIHILATOR) — will feature guest appearances by Kelly Conlon (ex-DEATH, MONSTROSITY) on bass and Robert Falzano (ex-ANNIHILATOR) on drums. The CD will contain "50 minutes of technical death metal," according to a press release.
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CROSSFADE
CROSSFADE have released the video for their new single 'Invincible' from their new album ''Fallling Away'' on Columbia Records on August 29 at this location.
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create your own digital concert ticket stubs
There's a cool little website that allows you to create your own digital concert ticket stubs. It looks cooler than it sounds, so check it out here and make your own stubs to print or post online. The "tickebastard" watermark in the background is classic too.
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Poison
Poison were videotaped performing 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn' and 'Ride The Wind' at the Washington County Fair Park in West Bend, Wisconsin on Friday (July 28). You can watch the clips at YouTube ('Every Rose' / 'Ride The Wind')
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LORD BELIAL
Sweden's LORD BELIAL has entered Los Angered studio (owned by KING DIAMOND guitarist Andy La Rocque) outside Gothenburg to begin recording its seventh full-length album, entitled "Revelation". A late 2006 release via Regain Records is expected.
LORD BELIAL's sixth full-length album, "Nocturnal Beast", was released last November via Regain . The follow-up to 2004's "The Seal of Belial" was recorded at Los Angered.
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mineh news
Killswitch Engage are to play the Camden Underworld in London on August 23.
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Korn fan Andy Richardson was assaulted and killed during the band's performance in Atlanta. As a result of this tragedy, the police have launched a murder investigation. It's said that the incident happened after Richardson was said to have spoken to two men about not bumping into his pregnant girlfriend.
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Veteran Swedish death metalheads Grave are to release live DVD in November. To be called 'Enraptured', this will be filmed at the Stodola Club in Warsaw, Poland at the end of the month.
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The Blackout have been added to the bill for the Uxfest, replacing Captain Everything. This happens at the Islington Academy and Islington Bar Academy in London on August 6. Altogether, 21 bands will be playing on two stages at this charity event. You'll be able to see Skindred, Biomechanical, Murder One, Exit Ten, Architects, Forever Never, Sylosis, Outcryfire, Eths, Engel, PDHM, B Movie Heroes, Fireapple Red, Profane, Shellshock, Head On, Mumrah, Inner Rage, NWS, Kingsize Blues and The Blackout. DJing will be TotalRock's own Catbird, and also Leevil. Former Skunk Anansie guitarist Ace is to compere. For further info, go to www.uxfest.org.
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The Eagles are now planning to release their new, as yet untitled album in the first part of ’07. This will be the legendary band’s first studio record in 28 years.
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Savannah sludge monsters Kylesa are to release a new album on Hallowe’en. It’s to be called ‘Time Will Fuse Its Worth’. The band have also lined up shows at Glasgow Nice ‘N’ Sleazy October 3, Belfast Bunker 4, Galway Richardson’s Bar 5, Dublin Voodoo Lounge 6, Leeds Fenton 7, Sheffield Corporation 8, Nottingham Old Angel 9, London Camden Underworld 10, Brighton Engine Rooms 11.
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Frontman Dan Tyrantor has left Chicago metalheads Usurper. This is because of ongoing personal problems. For the time being the band will carry on as a four-piece. The vocals will be shared by guitarist Rick Scythe and bassist Jon Necromancer.
NEW FEATURE! The 50 Worst Artists in Music History
112113 IRON BUTTERFLY
Everything bad about the ’60s, in one easy-to-avoid package
Legend has it that this Los Angeles acid-rock quintet had consumed such massive amounts of marijuana during the 1968 sessions for “In the Garden of Eden” that keyboardist-singer Doug Ingle could only mumble the title. Hence, “In-a-Gadda-da-Vida” was born, and its unexpurgated 17-minute version (including a two-and-a- half-minute drum solo) inaugurated the dubious era of free-form FM radio.
Appalling fact In-a-Gadda-da-Vida was the first LP ever to be certified platinum.
Worst CD Sun and Steel (MCA, 1975)
 116117 TOAD THE WET SPROCKET
Very poor name. Even poorer band
“We were together longer than we ever thought we’d be,” said Toad the Wet Sprocket singer Glenn Phillips when the band gave up in 1998. Longer than the rest of us had hoped, too. But the California four-piece defied the odds for 12 years, even piercing the Top 40 with their R.E.M. readymades.
Appalling fact Toad decided to have another go this year, playing dates with Counting Crows. Run.
Worst CD Pale (Columbia, 1990)
 120121 MASTER P
The dumbest of the Dirty South
In the late ’90s, rapper and label head Percy Miller copycatted G-funk, simplified it and launched a fleet of indistinguishable MCs wrapped in cheap-looking, jewel-riddled artwork. P’s worst offense was his solo work (his obnoxious breakout single, “Make Em Say Ugh,” consisted of little more than a repeated groan). Like a crawfish-suckin’ P. Diddy, he has, shockingly, earned millions from his No Limit imprint, which includes a clothing line, a publishing house — and even a phone company.
Appalling fact Master P had a Ferrari custom-painted in a Gucci-logo pattern.
Worst CD Only God Can Judge Me (No Limit, 1999)
 124125 GOO GOO DOLLS
Mediocre band, woeful balladeers
Buffalo, New York’s Goo Goo Dolls are former garage-rockers who, since their 1995 acoustic hit “Name,” have successfully flogged a pallid brand of Bon Jovi–lite “rock.” “Iris,” their smash 1998 weepie, gives power ballads a bad name.
Worst CD Gutterflower (Warner Bros., 2002)
 128129 THE SPIN DOCTORS
Beards. Extended “jams.” Oh dear, oh dear
For a brief time (between 1992 and 1996), it seemed that any workaday bar band, if it was willing to gamely trek around the country for at least three years, had a chance at superstardom (cf. Hootie and the Blowfish, Blues Traveler). Blame the Spin Doctors, hairy New Yorkers who — thanks to the supremely annoying “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” and “Two Princes” — momentarily opened a route between dive bars and the Billboard charts.
Appalling fact The Doctors got together while they were students at New York’s New School of Jazz.
Worst CD Homebelly Groove Live (Epic, 1992)
 132133 GIPSY KINGS
The curse of many a late-’80s dinner party
Having grown up on the French-Spanish border, the six cousins who formed Gipsy Kings craftily aspired to sell their mixture of flamenco, Eurotrash pop and questionable hairdos to a world desperate for something seemingly exotic. They seduced the über-rich at St. Tropez before hitching their wagon to the then-huge world-music boom, diluting the flamenco with drums, bass and even synthesizers. Soon, they became the Muzak in every bistro in the free world.
Appalling fact Well-known groover George H.W. Bush was so fond of the Gipsy Kings that he asked them to perform at his inaugural presidential ball. For some reason, they declined.
Worst CD Este Mundo (Elektra, 1991)
 136137 MANOWAR
None more metal. None more gay
An American answer to Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, Rochester, New York’s Manowar embody every conceivable heavy-metal cliché: Bodybuilders all, the four wear leather and animal pelts onstage; singer Eric Adams shrieks only of death, warfare and the glory of metal; Joey DeMaio performs solo bass renditions of “The Flight of the Bumblebee.” They’re quite possibly the most ludicrous people in rock & roll history.
Appalling fact In 1993, Russian youth voted Manowar above the Beatles and Michael Jackson as the act they would most like to see perform live.
Worst CD Sign of the Hammer (EMI, 1985)
 140141 MIKE & THE MECHANICS
“Every generation blames the one before,” they sang. So we will
While Phil Collins was torturing the world with his archetypal ’80s soft-rock, his Genesis colleague Mike Rutherford unwisely decided to join in. Ergo the Mechanics, a trio built around Rutherford, former Squeeze vocalist-keyboardist Paul Carrack and the late Paul Young. As shown by the 1989 number 1 hit “The Living Years,” an unbearably sentimental ode to Rutherford’s deceased father, they made Collins sound like the MC5.
Appalling fact Against significant odds, there is a U.K.-based Mike & the Mechanics tribute band, the Living Years.
Worst CD Beggar on a Beach of Gold (Virgin, 1995)
 144145 RICK WAKEMAN
Can play two synthesizers at once — but nothing that people want to hear
Keyboard “wizard” and professional cape wearer Wakeman’s diabolical taste revealed itself early, when he elected to join prog-rockers Yes instead of David Bowie’s backing band, the Spiders From Mars. Not content with contributing to Yes’s inexcusably pompous albums, he also spent the mid-’70s releasing a series of baroquely awful solo theme records, including The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. For reasons that are still unclear, he opted to perform that one on ice.
Appalling fact While playing Yes songs live, Wakeman would wolf down curry during sections in which he had little to do.
Worst CD Lisztomania (A&M, 1975)
 148149 WHITESNAKE
Dumb and dumberer
Led by ex–Deep Purple frontman David Coverdale, Whitesnake’s ’80s success with their karaoke Led Zeppelin routine can be explained only by the public’s enduring love for the double entendre, as exemplified on such songs as “Slide It In,” “Slow Poke Music” and “Spit It Out.”
Worst CD Slip of the Tongue (Geffen, 1989)
152153 BLIND MELON
A video made them; heroin undid them
Led by Axl Rose’s mewling, drug-plagued pal Shannon Hoon, Blind Melon’s lightweight rock would have been forgotten completely were it not for the boundless charm of “Bee Girl” Heather DeLoach, whose hoofing in the video for “No Rain” made the tune the band’s lone hit.
Worst CD Soup (Capitol, 1995)
156157 BOB GELDOF
Should have stuck to saving the planet
He organized the Live Aid concerts, but “Saint” Bob Geldof is a less-than-godlike musical talent. In 1989, he released The Vegetarians of Love, a terrible quasi-Cajun album that was recorded in five days — and sounded like it. Thirteen years later came Sex, Age & Death, effectively a midlife crisis — replete with achingly embarrassing claims of undiminished sexual potency — set to music. Like most of his solo work, it stiffed.
Appalling fact One recent Geldof song, “10:15,” features the line “She told me I was beautiful/And I made her come a lot.”
Worst CD Sex, Age & Death (Koch, 2002)
160161 THE DOORS
He was the Lizard King. No, really…
While in college, many young men still choose to immerse themselves in such ill-advised subjects as Nietzsche, black magic and Native American folklore. Most get over it; Jim Morrison, unfortunately, inflicted his terminally adolescent views on the wider world. The consequences included overblown screeds of nonsense such as “The End” and “The Crystal Ship,” plus, effectively, the invention of goth. Then he got fat and died.
Appalling fact Morrison is widely believed to have suffered his fatal heart attack while masturbating in the bathtub.
Worst CD The Soft Parade (Elektra, 1969)
164165 98 DEGREES
Well, their mothers must love them
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception,” quipped Groucho Marx. He’d have been hard-pressed to remember this utterly unremarkable Ohio boy band, though he would have loved to have forgotten their music. Harmonies, schmaltzy urban soul and even more saccharine life philosophy (“Persevere, work hard, have faith and eventually you’ll reach your goal”) paid dividends in the late ’90s, as third-rate cheese such as “I Do (Cherish You)” and “Because of You” somehow became big hits.
Appalling fact Buy the 98 Degrees official board game — and find out which band member once autographed a diaper!
Worst CD This Christmas (Uptown/ Universal, 1999)
168169 PAUL OAKENFOLD
Hey, Mr. DJ: Keep your day job!
As a remixer of note, “Oakey” is lauded for turning the guitar-loving masses into Ecstasy-aware, sodden-shirted neophytes of ’90s dance music. But 2002’s Bunkka, the Englishman’s first album of original material, was an abject exercise in marketing, not music. Ham-fisted and clichéd, lacking direction and sparkle, nothing Oakenfold created himself would have inspired any DJs worth a lick. Dreadful.
Appalling fact Perry Farrell, Tricky, Ice Cube and Nelly Furtado all lined up to contribute to Bunkka. Presumably without hearing the music first.
Worst CD Bunkka (Maverick/Warner Bros., 2002)
172173 LIVE
These U2 sound-alikes never did find what they were looking for
Blessed with the same spiritual longing as U2 — but, sadly, none of the musical cunning — this Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, quartet made a brief but insignificant splash in the early ’90s as purveyors of grandiose, vaguely uplifting alt-rock. Although their hold on the mainstream had evaporated by the end of the decade, their blend of loud guitars and portentous lyrics helped pave the way for crypto-Christian rockers Creed. Nice one, Live.
Appalling fact The album title Secret Samadhi derives from a form of Hindu meditation.
Worst CD Secret Samadhi (MCA, 1997)
176177 JAPAN
An uncontestable argument against the ’80s
Japan formed in 1974 and soon discovered that their mixture of washed-out glam-rock, vaguely literary pretensions and bucketloads of makeup prompted little more than cruel laughter. The dawn of the ’80s, however, found things moving their way, and by 1981, plenty of easily distracted teens were wobbling enigmatically to “Voices Raised in Welcome, Hands Held in Prayer,” “The Art of Parties” and “Still Life in Mobile Homes” (the titles say it all).
Appalling fact Their version of Smokey Robinson & the Miracles’ “I Second That Emotion” might be the worst Motown cover of all time.
Worst CD Gentlemen Take Polaroids (Virgin, 1980)
180181 THE HOOTERS
The great folk-rock scare
Philadelphians Rob Hyman and Eric Bazilian assembled a quintet that specialized in a vile blend of folk-rock and New Wave, in the process proving that the mandolin is more irritating than the synthesizer.
Worst CD Zig Zag (Columbia, 1989)
184185 ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
Too positive for their own good
Their 1992 debut, 3 Years, 5 Months & 2 Days in the Life Of…, sold 5 million copies despite containing some of the preachiest, most contrived “wisdom” ever laid down. Their studio follow-up, Zingalamundi, sank without a trace.
Worst CD Unplugged (Chrysalis, 1993)
188189 RICHARD MARX
The devil-king of MOR
When it comes to the dreaded genre of adult contemporary, few were as archetypal as Winnetka, Illinois–born Richard Marx. The unbearably syrupy “Right Here Waiting,” from 1989, remains his most far-reaching hit, but it shows the extent to which America fell for his combination of mullet, Wedding Singer apparel and softer-than-soft rock that it was his third consecutive number 1 single.
Appalling fact Before his brief burst of stardom, Marx honed his painfully bland art as a backing singer for Lionel Richie.
Worst CD Repeat Offender (Capitol, 1989)
192193 SKINNY PUPPY
The audience rarely sang along to “Dogshit”
And so it came to pass in the 1980s that two Canadian Kevins changed their names to cEvin and Nivek in order to make themselves more interesting, hired a singer named Dwayne (who would die of a heroin overdose) and spent almost a decade making ear-torturing industrial music. The sound of whiny students on drugs sampling Timothy Leary — as scary as Mannheim Steamroller.
Appalling fact On the Head Trauma tour, cEvin sliced open his stomach with broken glass and performed a vivisection. Relax, everyone — he was only pretending.
Worst CD Too Dark Park (Nettwerk, 1990)
196197 CRASH TEST DUMMIES
They said Brad Roberts’s voice was so deep it could be heard only by whales. Not true, sadly
If you want to be recognized as serious recording artists with a whimsical, folksy bent, it’s probably best not to notch your only hit with a daft novelty song based around the world’s silliest lead vocal and title it “Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm.” The remainder of God Shuffled His Feet, this Canadian band’s second album, was much worse. They released I Don’t Care That You Don’t Mind in 2001. No one cared.
Appalling fact They’re Canadian.
Worst CD A Worm’s Life (Arista, 1996)
200201 COLOR ME BADD
These Oklahomans sang about sex. But they couldn’t keep it up
Oklahoma City’s gain was New York’s loss when these four high-school friends left their hometown and headed east in search of fame. They found it in 1991 with the double-platinum single “I Wanna Sex You Up,” a literally unbelievable slice of lasciviousness from such inoffensive boys. Diluted hit followed diluted hit, but three watery albums later, CMB suddenly found themselves all washed up.
Appalling fact As kids, CMB regularly buttonholed such touring acts as Huey Lewis & the News and Bon Jovi for impromptu a cappella auditions.
Worst CD Now & Forever (Giant, 1996)
204205 CÉLINE DION
One more reason to hate the French?
Seemingly hellbent from birth on proving that Michael Bolton isn’t the cheesiest balladeer on the face of the planet, the French-Canadian singer first secured a manager at age 12 — creepily, she later married him. But far more terrifying is her endless string of shrieking über-hits, particularly the Titanic theme, “My Heart Will Go On” — which, if it had been played on the ship itself, would surely have made passengers leap to their doom long before the iceberg did its dastardly deed.
Appalling fact You might want to stay clear of Nevada until 2006: Dion recently began a three-year engagement at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas.
Worst CD Céline Dion (Epic, 1992)
208209 JAMIROQUAI
The white, talentless Stevie Wonder
Where to start — the ludicrous headgear? The atrocious dancing? No, let us start, and finish, with the fact that Stevie Wonder has more talent in his dark glasses than Jay Kay has in his entire body.
Worst CD A Funk Odyssey (Epic, 2001)
212213 BAD ENGLISH
With ex-members of Journey!
Suck-cheeked soft-rocker John Waite had scored big in 1984 with the ballad “Missing You.” But with his solo career stalling, and half of Journey toilet-bound without a singer, they forged an unholy late-’80s alliance. Bad English retailed puffed-up power ballads, while Waite cast himself as a doomed romantic hero.
Worst CD Backlash (Epic, 1991)
216217 CREED
Whoever said the devil has all the best tunes was probably listening to Creed at the time
It’s doubtful there’s a more irritating sight in videodom than Creed’s Scott Stapp pulling one of his crucifixion poses while a wind machine blows his hair in the appropriate direction. But the Florida group’s real crime is its music, an overblown distillation of grunge’s most obviously commercial elements every inch as vapid as the music Nirvana and company were rebelling against.
Appalling fact This April, a fan sued the band following a show at which, it was alleged, Stapp was so incapacitated he was “unable to sing a single song.”
Worst CD Weathered (Wind-Up, 2001)
220221 PRIMUS
“Care for some prog-rock with cartoon-character vocals on the side?” “No, thanks!”
Perhaps the most tune-free act ever to chart an album in the Top 10 (Pork Soda hit number 7 in 1993), Oakland, California’s Primus were led by Les Claypool, a bass virtuoso and startlingly nasal vocalist. Musicians and the terminally nerdy gaped in wide wonder at the trio’s prodigious instrumental “chops”; everyone else was repulsed by the band’s combination of the worst aspects of Frank Zappa and Rush.
Appalling fact The rallying cry for Primus’s misguided fans was “Primus sucks!” — intended as sarcasm yet all too true.
Worst CD Pork Soda (Interscope, 1993)
224225 THE ALAN PARSONS PROJECT
The sound inside the head of Pink Floyd’s engineer. Zzzzzz…
Having conquered the Dark Side of the Moon, EMI Records’ beardy staff engineer Alan Parsons decided that what the universe really needed was a prog-rock concept album based on the work of nineteenth-century horror novelist Edgar Allan Poe, narrated by Orson Welles. It didn’t, of course, but an undeterred Parsons soldiered on, swapping prog-rock for vapid AOR in the ’80s. Finally bundled off to play guitar in Ringo Starr’s backing band, he was never seen again.
Appalling fact In the ’90s, the world-champion Chicago Bulls took the court to the pretentious swells of Parsons’s “Sirius.”
Worst CD Pyramid (Arista, 1978)
228229 HOWARD JONES
He came from England. Thanks, England
In the mid-’80s, it was difficult to avoid synth-wielding Brits. The sprig-haired, perma-grinning Howard Jones was the most irritating, seemingly convinced that he had something very important to tell the world — his 1984 debut was grandly titled Human’s Lib — but unclear exactly what it was.
Appalling fact Early in his career, Jones was accompanied by “improvisational dance” expert Jed Hoile, who, in keeping with the lyrics to “New Song,” mimed throwing off his “mental chains.”
Worst CD Live Acoustic America (Plump, 1996)
232233 DAN FOGELBERG
Giving male sensitivity a bad name — one song at a time
A graduate of the coffeehouse circuit around the University of Illinois, Fogelberg came to epitomize the most emetic qualities of the ’70s singer-songwriter: the high, quavering voice, the knee-jerk sentimentality, the earnestly strummed acoustic guitar. He was blessed with a gift for vacuously pretty melodies, and his work also anticipated the vapidity of New Age music — although with the added annoyance of bad lyrics.
Appalling fact His 1982 hit “Run for the Roses” smelled of horse manure, and it was in fact about the Kentucky Derby.
Worst CD Twin Sons of Different Mothers (with Tim Weisberg) (Full Moon/Epic, 1978)
236237 PAT BOONE
With his clean white bucks, he made rock & roll safe for ’50s nerds
Back before blue-eyed soul, Pat Boone made a career out of watering down ’50s R&B hits. Appealing to an audience who considered “race music” to be almost as bad as interracial dating, he had enormous success in making Fats Domino seem boring and Little Richard straight. After he spent the ’80s as a spokesperson for Christian conservatism, his album In a Metal Mood cursed heavy metal by treating it like big-band schlock.
Appalling fact In 1977, his daughter Debbie topped the charts with “You Light Up My Life.”
Worst CD In a Metal Mood (Hip-O, 1997)
240241 BENZINO
He rapped, he co-owned
As silent co-owner of the hip-hop magazine The Source, Benzino embarrassingly ordered extensive feature coverage of his 2001 debut album, The Benzino Project, in the pages of his periodical. It didn’t work: The album sold fewer than 75,000 copies.
Worst CD The Benzino Project (Motown, 2001)
244245 OINGO BOINGO
Artless art-rock
Oingo Boingo singer Danny Elfman went on to become one of Hollywood’s most in-demand soundtrack composers. But during his first go-round, he and his movie-director brother led this ostentatiously orchestrated L.A. New Wave group that began its pretentious career, not surprisingly, as a performance-art troupe.
Worst CD Only a Lad (A&M, 1981)
248249 YANNI
Fabio meets Tesh!
As a member of the Greek national swimming team, 14-year-old Yanni Chryssomallis broke his country’s national freestyle record. But instead of bringing further glory to his homeland by going to the Olympics, he emigrated to the U.S. in 1972 and began his 30-year quest to offer wretched New Age twaddle to legions of Midwestern matrons, spa proprietors, insomniacs and his former paramour Linda Evans. Swimming’s loss is music’s loss.
Appalling fact “I avoid words. If instrumental music is done properly, it bypasses logic, programming and society. It becomes primal. I compose by emotion.”
Worst CD Yanni Live at the Acropolis (Private Music, 1993)
252253 YNGWIE MALMSTEEN
Big on solos, short on songs
With his passion for the music of Deep Purple’s Ritchie Blackmore, Swedish guitar show-off Yngwie Malmsteen co-opted his hero’s deadpan demeanor, neoclassical solos and frilly cuffs, garnering kudos from ’80s bedroom guitar onanists for his playing speed. Yet Malmsteen never employed a proper songwriter, and his noodling hard rock — sometimes augmented by a full orchestra — has scored increasingly minuscule returns.
Appalling fact Malmsteen’s 1983 show at London’s Marquee club sold out in minutes because of unsuspecting Bruce Springsteen fans who thought they were attending a secret gig by the Boss.
Worst CD Concerto for Electric Guitar and Orchestra (Ranch Life, 1999)
256257 MICK JAGGER
Even Bill Wyman laughs at Mick’s solo records
Given the roll call of A-list rockers who have appeared on the Stones frontman’s four solo ventures, even a tone-deaf 6-year-old could have produced something you’d want to hear twice, or at least once. Alas, it seems, there’s never a tone-deaf 6-year-old around when you need one. Even on 1993’s not-entirely-grim Wandering Spirit, produced by Rick Rubin, Jagger does his damnedest to ruin things by inexplicably singing a sea shanty. That’s right — a sea shanty!
Appalling fact In his native U.K., Jagger’s latest solo release, Goddess in the Doorway, sold just 954 copies on its first day of release.
Worst CD Goddess in the Doorway (Virgin, 2001)
260261 TIN MACHINE
David Bowie’s darkest (non-acting) hour
In 1989, having presumably become bored with excelling at pop, glam-rock and funk, chameleon David Bowie decided to demonstrate that he too could be really, really bad. The vehicle for this unlikely ambition was the plodding rock four-piece Tin Machine, whose two critically mauled studio albums and one “hilariously” titled live document (Oy Vey, Baby) found Bowie voluntarily subsuming his genius beneath chorus-free tunes and guitarist Reeves Gabrels’s habit of playing his instrument with a vibrator.
Appalling fact The band’s roadies wore T-shirts that read **** YOU, I LIKE TIN MACHINE. They were the only ones.
Worst CD Oy Vey, Baby (Victory, 1991)
264265 LATOYA JACKSON
The least talented Jackson
Her voice may be thinner than Janet’s and her charisma dimmer than Tito’s, but her eyebrows uncannily resembled Michael’s, and for a short, confusing time in the ’80s, that was enough to earn Latoya Jackson a record deal. Typically, it was her private life rather than her hapless music that gained the most attention, after she accused her father of sexual abuse.
Worst CD From Nashville to You (Mar-Gor, 1994)
268269 AIR SUPPLY
The sound of eunuchs sobbing
Disproving the theory that lightning never strikes twice in the same place, Air Supply contained not one but two mewling, lovesick softies whose name was Russell. In the early ’80s, the Australian duo’s gutless ballads — music so remorselessly fey it made Journey sound like Danzig — sent a generation of jilted lovers toppling into depression that was as clinical as the Russells’ music. Mercifully, though, by the end of the decade, the pair had cried themselves to sleep.
Appalling fact Determined to ruin the festive season, Air Supply once recorded a Christmas album.
Worst CD The Christmas Album (Arista, 1987)
272273 LEE GREENWOOD
Gives patriotism a bad name
“Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel,” Samuel Johnson said, but in Lee Greenwood’s case, it’s the ultimate meal ticket for a Nashville hack. A bland balladeer with a weakness for overwrought sentimentality, he wrote the 1984 tune “God Bless the U.S.A.” in response to the Soviet downing of a South Korean airliner. It became a campaign theme for George H.W. Bush and was recently excavated in torturous fashion by the American Idol 2 cast during the war in Iraq.
Appalling fact Greenwood performed a duet with Latoya Jackson on her dreadful 1994 album, From Nashville to You.
Worst CD You’ve Got a Good Love Comin’ (MCA, 1985)
276277 VANILLA ICE
The white boy to end all white boys
You know that yearbook photograph you won’t let anyone see? The one whose very existence keeps you awake shaking at night? Imagine it was a horribly dated number 1 single from 1990 called “Ice Ice Baby,” and you have an idea what life is like for Robert Van Winkle. It doesn’t stop there: Ice starred in the abysmal 1991 Hollywood vehicle Cool as Ice, and after squandering his quick fortune, mounted an unsuccessful comeback in 1998 as (shudder) a rap-rocker.
Appalling fact Widely denounced by hip-hop fans as a phony, Ice rebuffed his detractors at the 1991 American Music Awards: “Kiss my white ass!”
Worst CD Hard to Swallow (Republic, 1998)
280281 ASIA
Ridiculous album sleeves, virtuoso playing, soulless rock. It can be only one band
Asia’s music turned out to be exactly the sum of its parts: former technicians from King Crimson, Emerson, Lake & Palmer and Yes who got together with an erstwhile Buggle at the start of the ’80s. It promised the most self-important prog-rock melded with the limp-wristed worst of AOR, and it delivered. The band’s self-titled debut sold more than 4 million copies, which only encouraged them.
Appalling fact To this day, keyboardist Geoff Downes is happy to offer Asia’s mission statement: “To play music that is panoramic, symphonic and rock at the same time.”
Worst CD Astra (Geffen, 1985)
284285 KANSAS
Beware all bands named after states or continents!
Their folksy 1977 hit “Dust in the Wind,” a tractor-size fiddle player and a guitarist in bib overalls suggested pioneer-spirited rural rockers. The truth was far more sinister. Bereft of sex and emotion, Kansas’s music was a noxious fusion of Jethro Tull and Yes, appealing only to male sci-fi bores and guaranteed to drive any self-respecting frontiersman headlong into the nearest bear trap.
Appalling fact A feature of their live shows was roadie T. Rat, who would come onstage in a trench coat, top hat and clown mask. Then he would disrobe and dance butt-naked.
Worst CD Point of Know Return (Columbia, 1977)
288289 STARSHIP
They built this city on rock & roll. And crap!
In 1985, Starship rose like a phoenix from the ashes of once-mighty psychedelic overlords Jefferson Airplane/Starship — but only if, by phoenix, you mean “ultra-lame, MTV-pandering purveyors of MOR schlock.” Best remembered for “We Built This City,” they were also responsible for unleashing the Diane Warren–penned “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” a song bad enough to appear on the soundtrack of the diabolical Andrew McCarthy “comedy” Mannequin. And its sequel!
Appalling fact Singer Grace Slick later disavowed “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” claiming in an interview, “I know damn well how fast a relationship can fall apart.”
Worst CD Love Among the Cannibals (RCA, 1989)
292293 KENNY G
This guy really blows!
Hated equally by jazz and rock fans, Kenny Gorelick’s limpid instrumentals and obsequious cameos helped turn the soprano sax solo into pop music’s most feared cliché. He started his career with fusion hack Jeff Lorber, and his 1986 album, Duotones, established a steady market for anodyne, minimal background music, an aesthetic that reached its zenith in 1997 when “The G” set a world record by holding a single note for 45 minutes.
Appalling fact He graduated magna cum laude from the University of Washington with a degree in accounting.
Worst CD Classics in the Key of G (Arista, 1999)
3 MICHAEL BOLTON
Otis Redding died for this?
With his curly locks and toned abs, Michael Bolton looked like nothing so much as the hero of a cheap bodice-ripper, which was enough to earn him a fervent audience for his over-emoted late-’80s power ballads. Unfortunately, his greatest desire was to sing R&B oldies, which he went through like Sherman through Georgia.
Appalling fact After losing a plagiarism suit to the Isley Brothers, Bolton tried to avoid paying them royalties by buying their publishing house.
Worst CD Timeless: The Classics (Columbia, 1992)
300301 EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER
Welcome back, my friends, to the second-worst band in history!
“Boasting” former members of the Nice, King Crimson and — yes! — Atomic Rooster, the less-than-super ’70s supergroup ELP shunned blues-based rock in favor of bombastically reinterpreted classical works — with bewilderingly successful results. A nightmarish enough proposition on record, the Brit trio’s live shows were peppered by interminable solo spots, including a 20-minute drum workout by Carl Palmer that ended with him ringing a cowbell held between his teeth.
Appalling fact Singer-bassist Greg Lake performed on a $10,000 Persian rug that roadies vacuumed before every show.
Worst CD Love Beach (Rhino, 1978)
304305 INSANE CLOWN POSSE
They sound even stupider than they look
Two trailer-trash types who wear face paint, pretend to be a street gang and drench cult devotees in cheap soda called Faygo, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope are more notorious for their beef with Eminem (who pistol-whipped an ICP homey in 2001) than their ham-fisted rap-rock music. They claim that a “dark carnival” visited them one night, prophesied impending apocalypse and made them its messengers. Between this circus gospel, they find plenty of time to rap about 40-ouncers and venereal disease.
Appalling fact While appearing on The Howard Stern Show in 1999, Shaggy 2 Dope told Sharon Osbourne to “buff my pickle.” She declined.
Worst CD The Wraith: Shangri-La (D3, 2002)
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