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Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:27:53 PM   
shool


Posts: 10076
Joined: 24/3/2006
From: In The Pipe, Five by Five.
Can someone define one for me?

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RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:32:19 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.
I'm not allowed just to image link to some old bollocks, am I?

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Post #: 2
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:33:51 PM   
shool


Posts: 10076
Joined: 24/3/2006
From: In The Pipe, Five by Five.
Do you literally mean "Old Bollocks"
I'm not sure I want to see that.

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Post #: 3
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:40:20 PM   
Hobbitonlass

 

Posts: 11919
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Westeros
quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson

So basically an emotional affair is that thing where you get friendly with someone, you're attracted to them, but they just think of you as a friend.

Bringing this over.  Isn't that unrequieted love?  Is emotional affair the new PC term?

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

Do you literally mean "Old Bollocks"
I'm not sure I want to see that.

Don't know what would be worse, old bollocks or as MC says, soppy bollocks

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Post #: 4
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:43:36 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

Do you literally mean "Old Bollocks"
I'm not sure I want to see that.


So how do you cope in the shower?

BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD!



I have no idea how old you are.


quote:

Bringing this over. Isn't that unrequieted love? Is emotional affair the new PC term?


That's exactly how it seems to me, or a crush, or being in the friend zone, or anything that doesn't actually sully the good name of affairs.

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Post #: 5
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:46:01 PM   
Chief


Posts: 7778
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee
I'll just C&P my questions from the other thread:

Oh god, not this emotional affair bobbins again? I know it's off topic but I've got a few questions about it:

Is it even a thing?
Do you both agree that's what you're having or is it one sided and, possibly, just in your head? I don't mean it in a bad way but I find it hard to explain. Does the other person know that they're having an emotional affair?
How do you know that's what it is? The signs of a normal affair are easy to spot, what with the fluids and everything so what's the kicker that, yup, this is an emotional affair and not just a friend offloading some problems and looking for advice/a shoulder to cry on?

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Post #: 6
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:49:44 PM   
Chief


Posts: 7778
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee
Also, I keep misreading soppy as soapy. Makes it 10 x worse.

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Post #: 7
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:49:46 PM   
SadFace

 

Posts: 1816
Joined: 1/1/2008
From: Derbyshire / Leicester
I'd define an emotional affair as one where at least one party is emotionally intimate, but not physically.

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson

That's the most wrong I've ever seen someone be on this forum. And both Gimli and Elab post here.

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Post #: 8
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:50:30 PM   
Chief


Posts: 7778
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee
But how can you be "emotionally intimate"? Is that just dirty talk, or is it talking about feelings and shit?

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Post #: 9
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:51:27 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadFace

I'd define an emotional affair as one where at least one party is emotionally intimate, but not physically.


But for an affair it takes at least two parties. You can't have an affair on your own, no matter how many times Matty calls it that to make his Saturday nights more exciting. And emotional intimacy covers a lot of ground.

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Post #: 10
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:53:40 PM   
SadFace

 

Posts: 1816
Joined: 1/1/2008
From: Derbyshire / Leicester

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson


quote:

ORIGINAL: SadFace

I'd define an emotional affair as one where at least one party is emotionally intimate, but not physically.


But for an affair it takes at least two parties. You can't have an affair on your own, no matter how many times Matty calls it that to make his Saturday nights more exciting. And emotional intimacy covers a lot of ground.



Yeah, but I include it when someone is intimate without it being reciprocated.

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson

That's the most wrong I've ever seen someone be on this forum. And both Gimli and Elab post here.

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Post #: 11
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:53:52 PM   
FritzlFan


Posts: 4793
Joined: 19/11/2008
From: Bristol
Wanting to shag a girl in a relationship.

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Post #: 12
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 2:55:27 PM   
shool


Posts: 10076
Joined: 24/3/2006
From: In The Pipe, Five by Five.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson


quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

Do you literally mean "Old Bollocks"
I'm not sure I want to see that.


So how do you cope in the shower?

BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD!



Hey! I'm in my prime.



quote:

quote:

Bringing this over. Isn't that unrequieted love? Is emotional affair the new PC term?




That's exactly how it seems to me, or a crush, or being in the friend zone, or anything that doesn't actually sully the good name of affairs.


The way I see it is that you are both emotionally invested in each other, Want to have a closer (physical) relationship, but either circumstances or boundaries prevent you from doing so. Whether that be one being in a marital relationship, religious beliefs or whatever.

Either way its all just pigeon holing.

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Post #: 13
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:03:06 PM   
matty_b


Posts: 14559
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.


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Post #: 14
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:08:44 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

The way I see it is that you are both emotionally invested in each other, Want to have a closer (physical) relationship, but either circumstances or boundaries prevent you from doing so. Whether that be one being in a marital relationship, religious beliefs or whatever.



But to me, if you've acknowledged that desire is there then it can't be just an emotional affair, because you've acknowledged that need to physically be together. And then either you have the affair, or you cut off contact to stop it progressing that far. The descriptions of the emotional affair I've heard all fall into the territory of being good friends. The emotional affair concept seems to be based on the idea that once you've found someone they're the only person you should invest any emotions in. Which is nonsense. No matter how much you love someone they can't possibly fill all your emotional needs, that's why we maintain friendships outside the relationship.


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Post #: 15
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:09:52 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b




Lucy Davis. So pretty. So lucky as well, imagine if she got her father's looks.

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Post #: 16
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:19:48 PM   
shool


Posts: 10076
Joined: 24/3/2006
From: In The Pipe, Five by Five.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson


quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

The way I see it is that you are both emotionally invested in each other, Want to have a closer (physical) relationship, but either circumstances or boundaries prevent you from doing so. Whether that be one being in a marital relationship, religious beliefs or whatever.



But to me, if you've acknowledged that desire is there then it can't be just an emotional affair, because you've acknowledged that need to physically be together. And then either you have the affair, or you cut off contact to stop it progressing that far. The descriptions of the emotional affair I've heard all fall into the territory of being good friends. The emotional affair concept seems to be based on the idea that once you've found someone they're the only person you should invest any emotions in. Which is nonsense. No matter how much you love someone they can't possibly fill all your emotional needs, that's why we maintain friendships outside the relationship.




Cant really argue with this to be honest.
Although I'm not sure platonic "close" friendships truly exist amongst boys and girls.

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Post #: 17
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:37:05 PM   
jcthefirst


Posts: 4425
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: Bangor
I'm having an emotional affair with this ice cream sandwich.

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Post #: 18
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:41:20 PM   
elab49


Posts: 54583
Joined: 1/10/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: shool


quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson


quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

The way I see it is that you are both emotionally invested in each other, Want to have a closer (physical) relationship, but either circumstances or boundaries prevent you from doing so. Whether that be one being in a marital relationship, religious beliefs or whatever.



But to me, if you've acknowledged that desire is there then it can't be just an emotional affair, because you've acknowledged that need to physically be together. And then either you have the affair, or you cut off contact to stop it progressing that far. The descriptions of the emotional affair I've heard all fall into the territory of being good friends. The emotional affair concept seems to be based on the idea that once you've found someone they're the only person you should invest any emotions in. Which is nonsense. No matter how much you love someone they can't possibly fill all your emotional needs, that's why we maintain friendships outside the relationship.




Cant really argue with this to be honest.
Although I'm not sure platonic "close" friendships truly exist amongst boys and girls.


They can and do. I have as many good male friends as I do female. And they are friends - I can trust them, talk to them and confide in them. And because they feel the same way, it's a reciprocation.

This stuff sounds far too easy to confuse with a one-sided crush where the problem isn't the one confiding but the one who misunderstands their role and doesn't see themselves as 'just a friend'.

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quote:

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Post #: 19
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:48:12 PM   
shool


Posts: 10076
Joined: 24/3/2006
From: In The Pipe, Five by Five.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jcthefirst

I'm having an emotional affair with this ice cream sandwich.


Isnt that a Google Operating System?

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Post #: 20
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:48:24 PM   
sanchia


Posts: 18188
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Norwich
According to Shirley Glass who.came up with the term elab is involved in emotional with these chaps (I would quote but am using my phone at the moment because I am away). Essentially it is a load of rubbish where anyone in a close or good friendship would fall under the criteria of emotional affair although it does appear to have sold alot of books for her.

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Post #: 21
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:53:57 PM   
jcthefirst


Posts: 4425
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: Bangor
So, is it an emotional affair if I (married) tell a person who's not my wife that I want to be with them, but I can't/won't?

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Post #: 22
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:54:47 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jcthefirst

So, is it an emotional affair if I (married) tell a person who's not my wife that I want to be with them, but I can't/won't?


I think you should try it out on the first woman you see. Film it and upload the results.

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Post #: 23
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:56:49 PM   
jcthefirst


Posts: 4425
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: Bangor

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson


quote:

ORIGINAL: jcthefirst

So, is it an emotional affair if I (married) tell a person who's not my wife that I want to be with them, but I can't/won't?


I think you should try it out on the first woman you see. Film it and upload the results.


You joke, but I totally would.

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Post #: 24
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:58:07 PM   
SadFace

 

Posts: 1816
Joined: 1/1/2008
From: Derbyshire / Leicester
I think the mass confusion here suggests that this is a term that should probably be avoided.


quote:

ORIGINAL: shool


quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson


quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

The way I see it is that you are both emotionally invested in each other, Want to have a closer (physical) relationship, but either circumstances or boundaries prevent you from doing so. Whether that be one being in a marital relationship, religious beliefs or whatever.



But to me, if you've acknowledged that desire is there then it can't be just an emotional affair, because you've acknowledged that need to physically be together. And then either you have the affair, or you cut off contact to stop it progressing that far. The descriptions of the emotional affair I've heard all fall into the territory of being good friends. The emotional affair concept seems to be based on the idea that once you've found someone they're the only person you should invest any emotions in. Which is nonsense. No matter how much you love someone they can't possibly fill all your emotional needs, that's why we maintain friendships outside the relationship.




Cant really argue with this to be honest.
Although I'm not sure platonic "close" friendships truly exist amongst boys and girls.


From personal experience, I'd say they do.


< Message edited by SadFace -- 24/6/2013 3:59:14 PM >


_____________________________

Tobias, you blowhard.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson

That's the most wrong I've ever seen someone be on this forum. And both Gimli and Elab post here.

(in reply to shool)
Post #: 25
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 3:58:50 PM   
elab49


Posts: 54583
Joined: 1/10/2005
Silly woman. The parents of one of my friends growing up didn't believe she should have any male friends other than her husband, but that was a dubious religious thing.

Imagine writing lots of books that are IMO basically screaming - "I don't actually understand what an affair is."

If someone is using someone with a crush on them and dumping emotional baggage on them that's not an affair, because two people aren't mutually involved - that's just being a complete bastard.

However, said insult doesn't apply if someone thinks they are talking to a good friend and appreciating their emotional support, unaware of the fantasy world going on in their head. Again, not an affair - no mutual two-way involvement.

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation] LIKE AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS TOO. IT MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND THOUGHT IT WAS WITTY. ALSO I FEEL SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. I KEEP AGREEING WITH ELAB.


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Post #: 26
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 4:01:52 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jcthefirst


quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson


quote:

ORIGINAL: jcthefirst

So, is it an emotional affair if I (married) tell a person who's not my wife that I want to be with them, but I can't/won't?


I think you should try it out on the first woman you see. Film it and upload the results.


You joke, but I totally would.


I think you should do it.

You want to do it.

I want you to do it

Your wife would want you to do it.

The Empire forum wants you to do it.

Science needs you to do it.

(in reply to jcthefirst)
Post #: 27
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 4:03:11 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

Imagine writing lots of books that are IMO basically screaming - "I don't actually understand what an affair is."




(in reply to elab49)
Post #: 28
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 4:05:02 PM   
Chief


Posts: 7778
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee
Fuck. I think I'm having several emotional homosexual affairs. I've been living a lie and I didn't even know.

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Post #: 29
RE: Emotional Affairs - 24/6/2013 4:07:27 PM   
elab49


Posts: 54583
Joined: 1/10/2005
See, this is why self-help books should be banned unless the author passes stringent peer review procedures.

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation] LIKE AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS TOO. IT MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND THOUGHT IT WAS WITTY. ALSO I FEEL SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. I KEEP AGREEING WITH ELAB.


Annual Poll 2013 - All Lists Welcome

(in reply to Chief)
Post #: 30
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