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RE: My low expectations meant I quite enjoyed it. - 16/2/2013 5:51:40 PM   
Shifty Bench

 

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From: Land of the Scots

quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown

Was that from Paul Ross, by any chance...? Is he still allowed to review films?




It was by a dude called Alan Frank. I read his 'review' on the Star website and I can happily say that it marked the first and only time I will ever visit said site. The first paragraph reads 'IF you fancy a wild orgy of adrenaline-surging action and enough bulletblazing gunplay to cause a worldwide shortage of lead, here it is.'



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Post #: 91
die hard - 16/2/2013 7:35:34 PM   
rudyalapag

 

Posts: 29
Joined: 12/1/2008
from the Klingons says: its a good day to die. which i say: TO DIE HARD. this should really kick some butt.

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Post #: 92
RE: John McClane 1988 - 1996. Rest In Peace - 16/2/2013 9:41:54 PM   
Hood_Man


Posts: 12182
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I was going to write a rant about how annoying, frustrating and stupid I thought this film was, but I've just this second had a text from my mum saying she's seen it and loved it, and now I don't have the heart.

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Post #: 93
RE: John McClane 1988 - 1996. Rest In Peace - 16/2/2013 9:46:30 PM   
MonsterCat


Posts: 7934
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

I was going to write a rant about how annoying, frustrating and stupid I thought this film was, but I've just this second had a text from my mum saying she's seen it and loved it, and now I don't have the heart.


It's not as if Mrs Hood will ever see this. Rant please.

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Post #: 94
RE: John McClane 1988 - 1996. Rest In Peace - 16/2/2013 9:54:53 PM   
Hood_Man


Posts: 12182
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

I was going to write a rant about how annoying, frustrating and stupid I thought this film was, but I've just this second had a text from my mum saying she's seen it and loved it, and now I don't have the heart.


It's not as if Mrs Hood will ever see this. Rant please.

I was proper psyched up and everything but she's really knocked the wind out of my sails.

Ugh, parents getting in the way all the time. I might have to stop calling her mum and call her by her Christian name. All the time. After every line. Every 5 seconds... ah, there we go

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Post #: 95
RE: John McClane 1988 - 1996. Rest In Peace - 17/2/2013 1:21:07 AM   
Shifty Bench

 

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So....does this mean we're getting a rant or not?

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Post #: 96
RE: John McClane 1988 - 1996. Rest In Peace - 17/2/2013 9:29:12 AM   
porntrooper

 

Posts: 2616
Joined: 6/9/2006
From: Sheffield
Jesus. What an utter turd. Not only does it fail as a 'Die Hard' movie in every respect, it pretty much fails as a mindless action movie too.

Although Die Hard 4 often felt like a watered down Die Hard and it had a plot that felt too big for the Mclane character, it did, on a few occasions feel like Die Hard and Mclane often felt like Mclane. Here, the character is gone, no longer recognisable and not even likable in his new guise. The problem is that for the most part he is a bystander and never actually drives the action forward, he's just along for the ride. He's the annoying sidekick in his own fucking movie. For me, Mclane himself is the biggest problem during the whole movie. He is just such a different character now, and he's a fucking arsehole.

The plot? Shite. Every other character? Boring. The action? Well, here is where I was hoping it might, at the very least, have been entertaining. How fucking wrong! That big opening court break out and car chase couldve been amazing. It's clear the practical stunt work was well done, however Moore's direction and editing renders it all pointless by keeping the camera bobbin weaving, zooming, pulling out and then holding focus far to close up. It's near as dammit unwatchable and the direction means all geography o the scene is lost. Plus It's the first time we see the new Mclane bein a huge wanker.... Punching civvies and causing mass casualties without any real regard for anyone. Even Die Hard 4 retained his thought for the public (during a crash he starts checking on other passengers). I mean, think back to how unhappy he is with Zeus in Die Hard 3 for shouting at the woman on the phone..... Despite everything Mclane is a good guy and a cop and has regard for the people he's serving. The remaining action is all too similar to really distinguise from each other, it's Mclane and son on one side of the room shooting at the bad guys at the other side, followed by a run and escape, accompanied by helicopter fire. It all blurs into one. Again, even Die Hard 4 changed it up and knew that the audience needs to see Mclane beat up good and proper. We all k ow Die Hard 4 had its faults when compared to the original three, but even then it knew to change things up and make eqch action beat different. i mean think of that fistfight and the car in the lift shaft, the first gun fight and car chase, the tunnel and the fist fight/gun fight in the ventin sytem and the truck chase. Some of it may be a bit too big for Die Hard, but it all feels different. Die Hard 5 just feels the same all the eay through! Boring as fuck! The only time i though 'oh thats something different and pretty cool' was when Mclane drives the truck out the chopper, but even then i was thinking 'fuck it, gimme a jet vs truck any day'.

A truly terrible, terrible move. There is no way I will ever consider this a Die Hard movie. Utter shit. Fuck me it's so dissapointing.

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Post #: 97
aweful movie - 17/2/2013 10:25:40 AM   
Paulieman

 

Posts: 40
Joined: 30/4/2007
From: Norway
I hope this was the last one. The 4 first were great! But this was so badly produced and directed, the screenplay was pretty bad aswell.
John Moore was totally wrong director for this film, just look at his previous films..
Can tell by the budget that it flopped too, just check http://boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=diehard5.htm

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Post #: 98
RE: aweful movie - 17/2/2013 11:26:38 AM   
mackey

 

Posts: 336
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**Spoilers (if it's possible to 'spoil' a piece of shit like this)**

One particular attempt at recurring humour in ĎA Good Day to Die Hardí provides as good a snapshot as any as to what to expect from the film as a whole.

ĎIím on vacation!í, John McClane bellows inanely on numerous occasions whilst in the thick of the action.

Consider the fact that McClane has made his way to Russia after learning that his son is in jail awaiting trial for murder and youíll see that the joke makes no sense whatsoever (unless, of course, McClane has decided that checking up on his murderous offspring is all part of the holiday heís undertaken).

Itís a bad joke: lazy, nonsensical, without a punchline; and itís been done before, but better.

A Good Day to Die Hard is basically 3 action set pieces connected by a thread of numbingly mundane scenes that serve to forward the flimsy plot.

This time around, the now bullet proof super cop John McClane heads to Moscow to see whatís up with his estranged son. We know theyíre estranged because McClane opens up to a concerned bit-parter and tells him that he hasnít spoken to his son in a long time and the last time Ďit wasnít goodí. The helpful extra kindly confirms to McClane that they do things differently in Russia.

So, McClane nabs a lift to the airport with his daughter Lucy (having un-estranged himself from her whilst saving the entire United States of America a few years earlier). Seemingly not too concerned by her brotherís grim predicament Lucy warns McClane not to make things worse. McClane smirks knowingly.

McClane pitches up at the courthouse where his son is due, via a painfully unfunny cab ride, and after a series of explosions conveniently ends up face to face with son John Jnr. The first big set piece ensues and sees a massive car chase through the streets of Moscow with McClane pirouetting not one, but two vehicles through the air. It all ends with John Jnr letting McClane tag along whilst the gears of the plot crunch into motion. It turns out John Jnr is in the CIA and, well, who cares? Itís completely uninspired and uninteresting.

Next up are more explosions, the first of the yawn-inducing Ďtwistsí, a ridiculous, tap-dancing, carrot-chomping baddie, father/son bonding whilst mowing down goons and a death-defying leap through windows, scaffolds and who knows what else all whilst taking fire from a helicopter gunship.

Now a moment of respite as the crawling pace comes to a standstill for a Ďmeatyí emotional scene where McClane, verging on obnoxious bullying, mocks his son for his injuries and crying as a child. He then gleefully urges him to man up so they can go and kill some scumbags. John Jnr happily signs up for the proposed killing spree.

Then itís off to Chernobyl where the stupidity is taken to new levels and the cinematography to the darkest depths of murk as the McClane boys finally coalesce into an unbeatable tag-team of destruction where they see off the baddies amidst bullets & fireballs aplenty.

The film signs off with McClane and his kids walking in slow motion as sunshine blinds us and deafening music tries to force us to feel the emotion of such a reunion.

Presumably, Holly is being held over for part 6 where sheíll be kidnapped by Loki & the Mandarin, and McClane, barefoot and white-vested once again can bring the franchise to a close by saving the entire universe and retiring to the moon.

The whole pile of shit oozes along at the slowest 97 minutes you are every likely to experience. John Moore brings his usual level of witless butchery to the filmmaking process aided by a contemptible script by Skip Woods. Willis must take his share of the blame too. This film couldnít have been made without his participation and although itís probably hard to turn down the silly money he was no doubt paid, he should have shown some integrity and insisted on a better story and director.

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Post #: 99
Ode to nearly joy - 17/2/2013 1:29:49 PM   
mclane1


Posts: 370
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Having seen this on IMAX this morning I'm not quite as disappointed as everyone else. In fact when the base tones to ode to joy crept in before the credits I hoped this stirring moment was going to be a positive sign. Alas what followed was not what I'd hoped. There's no doubt the action is good but the plot and dialogue(particularly when father and son first meet) were weak. It's a 3 star action movie for me. Oh and it's nice and short which is wonderful compared to most movies these days. Not as terrie as some folk want it to be.

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Post #: 100
RE: Ode to nearly joy - 17/2/2013 3:32:48 PM   
Private Hudson


Posts: 1839
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: mclane1

Having seen this on IMAX this morning I'm not quite as disappointed as everyone else. In fact when the base tones to ode to joy crept in before the credits I hoped this stirring moment was going to be a positive sign. Alas what followed was not what I'd hoped. There's no doubt the action is good but the plot and dialogue(particularly when father and son first meet) were weak. It's a 3 star action movie for me. Oh and it's nice and short which is wonderful compared to most movies these days. Not as terrie as some folk want it to be.


It is easily the worst Die Hard entry of the series.

It is the Lada to the Bugatti Veyron of the 1988 original.


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Post #: 101
RE: My low expectations meant I quite enjoyed it. - 17/2/2013 3:39:54 PM   
Private Hudson


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quote:

ORIGINAL: musht


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wild about Wilder

All the money they spend on these films it never fails to amaze me how they always skimp on the Director (this mainly seems to be FOX) I mean there was no backstory to the film the main villan was there & gone, no humor just crash bang wallop.
I think someone spends WAY!!! too much time on his games console.
I've only seen 1 real positive review in the press & that was Alan Frank's 10/10 so that doesn't count (he actually loved Movie 43? )
7/10 as an action flick 4/10 as a Die Hard film

That's actually the best review I've seen so far.

Private Hudson's description of Chernobyl also has me rethinking my original evaluation. I'm glad I have a boxset of the original trilogy. I have 4.0 on it's own, and I'll probably get this but I'll wait till it's on sale.


Re: Chernoybl... I know. You think for a multi-million dollar budget movie they could at the very least have looked up Wikipedia!

BTW I didn't as I am old enough to remember Chernoybl and subscribe to National Geographic which had a 25 years later edition in 2011.

Swimming in the water, rainwater or otherwise, is possibly the stupidest thing you could do in a radioactive area other than ingesting food grown in the land. Or being unlucky enough to breathe in air from the dust cloud (only in the aftermath of the event right enough).

In an aside to this... I went to Tokyo about 3 weeks after Fukushima! It was a ghost town (considering around 30 million people live there that is quite something) and I remember having to look up some guy on Facebook who was publishing Geiger counter readings day by day! Scary stuff.

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Post #: 102
RE: My low expectations meant I quite enjoyed it. - 17/2/2013 4:50:49 PM   
Shifty Bench

 

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Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Land of the Scots
I wonder who will be the first to start a genuine thread for this flick in 'Favourite Films?

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RE: My low expectations meant I quite enjoyed it. - 17/2/2013 5:02:21 PM   
MonsterCat


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From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire
I will chew my right arm off if it isn't Donovan Kurtwood.

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Films watched in 2013

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Post #: 104
Well - 17/2/2013 5:17:36 PM   
HulkySmashSmash

 

Posts: 62
Joined: 3/1/2012
Not great, not awful. It felt too dark.

The scene where Bruce finds out about his son could've been full of quips and laughs but they went straight in to BROOD BROODY BROOD! Hiding bad CGI with lens flares is becoming TOO popular! If you don't have the money, don't do it!

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Post #: 105
RE: My low expectations meant I quite enjoyed it. - 17/2/2013 5:18:07 PM   
Shifty Bench

 

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From: Land of the Scots
That's the difference between me and you, MC, you name names

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Post #: 106
AWFUL - 17/2/2013 9:06:27 PM   
tysmuse

 

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One of the worst films ever. Easily. It is to Die Hard what The Scorpion King 3 is to Raiders of the Lost Ark.

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Post #: 107
RE: A Good Day To Die Hard - 18/2/2013 1:10:27 AM   
Wozza31

 

Posts: 13
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Part 6

Dying Hard
John McLaine dies slowly from radiation poisoning (an apt punishment for inflicting the abomination that is Die Hard 5 onto the world)

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Post #: 108
RE: A Good Day To Die Hard - 18/2/2013 9:31:08 AM   
porntrooper

 

Posts: 2616
Joined: 6/9/2006
From: Sheffield
Jesus fucking Christ, the more I thought about this wretched steaming turd of a flcik over the weekend, the more and more I grew to despise it. Usually I can just let bad movies drift off into the past, never to be thought of again, but this..... this fucking abomination, just wont leave my mind. Horrible horrible movie. Nothing in it makes sense, the horribly murky lighting, the wobbly camera work (somethign I would never really be annoyed about - it works in Quantum of Solace for example, for me anyways), the bizarre decision to hold the camera really close up during the car chase, the wierd long shots that wobbled and zoomed and held seemingly no definition in the IMAX picture, the awful sunset family reunion and freeze frame ending (no Die Hard movie should end like that! they all end with a similar visual style as the camera slowly lifts away from McClane and Co surrounded by bit players and emergency services), the horrid mucis that tried to turn the subtle themes in to a huge bombastic action score, the boring shootouts where people just stand stationary, no dynamic at all! Just all fucking horrid!


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Post #: 109
RE: A Good Day To Die Hard - 18/2/2013 10:33:04 AM   
talpacino


Posts: 3685
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From: The Royal County
Yeah this is largely awful. The script is awful, he can't shoot action at all, there's zero humour or wit. McClane has absolutely no charm and Willis seems to have forgotten how to play him. It's just bad.

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RE: my friend heard this conversation between the studi... - 18/2/2013 12:18:05 PM   
jcthefirst


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From: Bangor
This was an abomination, not just a bad Die Hard film as many are stating, just a plain bad film.

Willis isn't even trying this time around. At least in 4.0, he still felt like McClane. Here, not so much.

Or at all really.

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Post #: 111
What I wanna know... - 18/2/2013 2:51:27 PM   
Normal Control


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.. is howcome Empire online is plastered with that model recruitment ad since lately?

Are many of the visitors/posters on here actually hot babes?

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Post #: 112
RE: What I wanna know... - 18/2/2013 4:41:28 PM   
Scruffybobby

 

Posts: 4336
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Okay then. I'm not going to rant about how this is the "Worst.Film.Ever" or an "abomination" or a "disgrace to the series" or any of that stuff because it's just not worth it. This was simply just a bad film.

There was no humour or invention in it. There's no memorable villains There's no sense of excitement, urgency or peril, there's really no sense at all. There's no one to care about , root for, or against. It's just deadly dull and boring and feels much longer than it's brief running time would suggest. It's no wonder Willis was so unenthused on The One Show, he just didn't care about this film when he was making it and doesn't now. "Contractual Obligation" seems to be his main motivation. The BBFC page for the film lists a very well known actor as appearing in the film - he hadn't appeared by the time the credits ran so I assume he must appear in a post credits sting (assuming his listing isn't an error) I really couldn't be bothered to hang around to see.

What a shame.

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Post #: 113
RE: What I wanna know... - 18/2/2013 5:06:42 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19049
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Scruffybobby

Okay then. I'm not going to rant about how this is the "Worst.Film.Ever" or an "abomination" or a "disgrace to the series" or any of that stuff because it's just not worth it. This was simply just a bad film.

There was no humour or invention in it. There's no memorable villains There's no sense of excitement, urgency or peril, there's really no sense at all. There's no one to care about , root for, or against. It's just deadly dull and boring and feels much longer than it's brief running time would suggest. It's no wonder Willis was so unenthused on The One Show, he just didn't care about this film when he was making it and doesn't now. "Contractual Obligation" seems to be his main motivation. The BBFC page for the film lists a very well known actor as appearing in the film - he hadn't appeared by the time the credits ran so I assume he must appear in a post credits sting (assuming his listing isn't an error) I really couldn't be bothered to hang around to see.

What a shame.


There is no post credits sequence.

I can't remember anything about this film.

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Post #: 114
RE: What I wanna know... - 18/2/2013 5:20:37 PM   
porntrooper

 

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I dont think he does appear, I think i is an error. Kinda happy for the fella that this shitstain movie wont appear on his cv.

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Post #: 115
RE: What I wanna know... - 18/2/2013 5:55:21 PM   
Scruffybobby

 

Posts: 4336
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quote:

ORIGINAL: porntrooper

I dont think he does appear, I think i is an error. Kinda happy for the fella that this shitstain movie wont appear on his cv.


Indeed that Is a good thing

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Post #: 116
RE: A Good Day To Die Hard - 18/2/2013 8:55:07 PM   
paulyboy


Posts: 2581
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It's a long way from the worst film I've ever seen, I'd even go so far as to say that it's sporadically entertaining at times. It is however a pretty large misfire when viewed in the company of the other Die Hard films, even 4.0.

I'm not even going to point the finger at Moore, although he shoots the action a little close for my liking here (not helped by the 1:85:1 framing), his visuals and direction of the film's loopy set-pieces were the only entertainment I managed to wrestle from the movie.

The problem is the script, McClane isn't even McClane any more, Willis spends 97 minutes destroying half of Moscow (pretty much straight off the plane), stealing cars, quipping he's on vacation and yelling "Jack" every 17 seconds. The bad guys are beyond awful, the Die Hard films hinge on a decent enemy for me, Rickman, Sadler, Irons, even fucking Olyphant was a veritable treat compared to the charisma vacuums that parade around this fifth installment.

Even Marco Beltrami's score seems to have dissapeared up it's own arse, barely a Die Hard theme to be found, which is strange because he did a decent job apeing Kamen last time round.

Conclusion:

Some brief fun to be had here and there, otherwise it's not great, not great at all.

2/5

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RE: What I wanna know... - 18/2/2013 10:00:26 PM   
jackcarter


Posts: 1862
Joined: 12/1/2006
quote:

I dont think he does appear, I think i is an error. Kinda happy for the fella that this shitstain movie wont appear on his cv.


so you all missed the post end credits scene of McClane saying 'end program' and CGing into Captain Picard stepping out the holodeck?


< Message edited by jackcarter -- 18/2/2013 10:05:08 PM >

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Post #: 118
RE: What I wanna know... - 18/2/2013 10:21:35 PM   
Hood_Man


Posts: 12182
Joined: 30/9/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: jackcarter

quote:

I dont think he does appear, I think i is an error. Kinda happy for the fella that this shitstain movie wont appear on his cv.


so you all missed the post end credits scene of McClane saying 'end program' and CGing into Captain Picard stepping out the holodeck?


http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0c1f9wYw01qbmavt.png

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Post #: 119
RE: What I wanna know... - 18/2/2013 11:13:56 PM   
Hood_Man


Posts: 12182
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Die Hard with a Blocked Carotid Artery, Die Hard from a Pulmonary Embolism, Die Harder Quicker, Hurry Up and Die Already, Dai Hard...

I never imagined when I was sitting in the cinema watching Arnie's The Last Stand a few weeks ago, that it would end up being the best of this year's Geriaction Hero Trilogy. Nor did I imagine when I was watching Stallone's Bullet to the Head that it would be knocked into second place in the category of least interesting action movie of the month.

Things start off well. An unimaginative but very loud car chase involving Jack being chase by a road train or whatever it is, through the streets of Moscow, with his Dad pulling up the rear yelling and screaming to nobody in particular, doesn't sound great on paper but I was captivated by it all the same. I did wonder whether the roads needed gritting however considering the cars were doing more 720 spins than Tony Hawk, but I've seen sillier things.

Unfortunately that's it for positives. The first thing that bothers me was how out of place McClane felt. In that first half hour or so I could imagine what it would be like if he was left entirely on the cutting room floor, and the film wouldn't lose focus. It would still be about a big, tough, shaven haired dude breaking a criminal out of court and into the safety of the CIA, and still would have featured a thrilling car chase along the way.

In fact if I didn't know any better, I would have assumed that this was in fact the result of Die Hard 5 being refashioned from another script, about a big, tough, shaven haired dude breaking a criminal out of court and into the safety of the CIA, with McClane Snr being crowbarred into the script every other page just to remind us it's his damn movie.

However, as my 5 second Google search tells me, it turns out this movie was in fact the first film in the Die Hard series to be written from scratch. Well, alright then...

The next thing that bugged me was the relationship between John's Snr &Jnr. Jack growing up with/without a workaholic and mostly absent father figure appears to have turned him into a problem child, then problem adult, then gun toting CIA operative with a permanent scowl. Straightforward enough, whether it's realistic or not doesn't bother me, in "Movie Land" terms it seems believable enough.
However, those involved seem to think we're stupid enough to need reminding of this by having Jack invoke the memory of Charlton Heston by screaming "Damn you John, damn you to Hell!" every 30 seconds.

I got it. I got it very, very quickly. Jack is calling his Dad John because he doesn't feel like John was a good father and therefore doesn't want to call him that, but we keep getting reminded of this so often that I started to wonder if this film was the result of a million goldfish sitting at a million typewriters attempting to produce a Die Hard script, only for the experiment to fail because one of the two goldfish responsible for editing it was on maternity leave and the sole remainder kept forgetting if he'd let one slip through the net. I didn't need to be reminded every minute for 90 minutes like I was playing the most boring game of Centurion ever. It wouldn't surprise me if they stole the concept from Michael Bay's 1998 movie Armageddon either.

At some point however, these issues seem to be abandoned in favour of a very unimaginative buddy movie relationship between today's younger guy and yesterdays Hero, making quips about being "Old School" or doing "James Bond Shit," and for the life of me I can't remember the moment when it happens (possibly just after or during a shootout with a helicopter gun ship). Despite apparently missing the most important years of his son's life through work and apparently not being a very good father, he somehow manages to turn around decades of bad blood and win his son over because "I'm your father Goddammit!" What could have been quite a touching bonding moment between two men instead became a skin crawling mess.

A real problem I have with films like this, is that if I'm not totally captivated by what I'm seeing, I become bothered with everything else. And this film did not captivate. Take the villains for instance. Not a single interesting attribute for any of them, except for the assembly line they seemed to be operating on. Twist after twist after needless twist, and nothing as memorable as the single villain formula and muscly henchmen of the previous films. Even Timothy Oliphant had a funny retort in 4.0:

John McClane: [covering the webcam] You think you can, uh, find a track where he is?
Thomas Gabriel: Detective, covering the camera with your hand does not turn off the microphone.


How about decontaminating a room full of 27 year old, incredibly deadly radiation with a blow torch? I have no idea if that's believable or not, it might actually be genuinely plausible, but to be told by Yuliya Snigir:

"This will remove the radiation, believe me."

No, fuck you, I don't believe anything you tell me. I don't even know who you are anymore.

Perhaps the biggest problem of all with this film is with John McClane himself. He's not John McClane. He's an old, out of shape Bruce Willis who at the age of 57 is now somehow at his most invincible. Maybe the radiation has given him powers? Is there a John McClane vs Wolverine spinoff in the works?

Die hard 4 received a lot of flack when it came out 6 years ago, and perhaps a lot of it was quite fair. It did at least make an effort to try and be a Die Hard movie however, with Bruce Willis really bringing John McClane back into action, slightly psychotic moments and all. There's never a moment here where I feel I'm watching the same character, it's just an unimaginative, one dimensional action hero who happens to be played by Bruce Willis.

If I had to pick two things I hate about this film, the first would be that the first trailer made it look rubbish, but the second one convinced me it might turn out ok. The second is that it proves just what a cynical, cold hearted person I am that I can write about things that annoy me so much easier than the things I love.

Damn you John. Damn you.

< Message edited by Hood_Man -- 18/2/2013 11:15:56 PM >

(in reply to Hood_Man)
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