Register  |   Log In  |  
Sign up to our weekly newsletter    
Follow us on   
Search   
Forum Home Register for Free! Log In Moderator Tickets FAQ Users Online

RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really)

 
Logged in as: Guest
  Printable Version
All Forums >> [On Another Note...] >> News and Hot Topics >> RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) Page: <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 25/2/2013 5:54:34 AM   
Cloud Cuckoo


Posts: 408
Joined: 7/2/2013
From: Mind your own

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darth Marenghi


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloud Cuckoo

I know I've made snap purchases of drivel in ASDA that I would never have sought out on Amazon or picked up in a bookshop with far greater choice.




Pfft - the only snap purchases of novels I've made from a local ASDA were Moby Dick and Cloud Atlas.


Umm, congratulations?

_____________________________

In Thom we trust.

(in reply to Darth Marenghi)
Post #: 121
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 12:12:53 PM   
horribleives

 

Posts: 5101
Joined: 12/6/2009
From: The North
He's gonna be on This Morning in a minute discussing his children's books.

_____________________________

www.hollywoodunbound.co.uk - some nonsense about alien film directors and musclebound man-children.

(in reply to Cloud Cuckoo)
Post #: 122
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 12:14:10 PM   
Professor Moriarty

 

Posts: 10462
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: the waters of Casablanca

quote:

ORIGINAL: horribleives

He's gonna be on This Morning in a minute discussing his children's books.


Please let JT be putting on his shin pads and jump on the couch next to him.

(in reply to horribleives)
Post #: 123
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 12:28:28 PM   
horribleives

 

Posts: 5101
Joined: 12/6/2009
From: The North
Funnily enough, he mentioned that John Terry has the third highest IQ in the Chelsea squad.
Anyway, his book's now been published if anyone's interested, though it'll have to be some kind of masterpiece to better Steve Bruce's masterful Steve Barnes trilogy (Sweeper! Defender! and Striker!).

< Message edited by horribleives -- 6/6/2013 12:29:10 PM >


_____________________________

www.hollywoodunbound.co.uk - some nonsense about alien film directors and musclebound man-children.

(in reply to Professor Moriarty)
Post #: 124
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 12:33:01 PM   
Professor Moriarty

 

Posts: 10462
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: the waters of Casablanca

quote:

ORIGINAL: horribleives

Funnily enough, he mentioned that John Terry has the third highest IQ in the Chelsea squad.



I'd have Obi Mikel at the other end of that spectrum

(in reply to horribleives)
Post #: 125
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 1:17:37 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot
So what's all this about then?

_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to Professor Moriarty)
Post #: 126
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 1:24:55 PM   
sharkboy


Posts: 6288
Joined: 26/9/2005
From: Belfast

quote:

ORIGINAL: horribleives

Funnily enough, he mentioned that John Terry has the third highest IQ in the Chelsea squad.


Yeah, but (to paraphrase Bill Hicks), after the first two, there's a big fuckin' drop-off

**opens popcorn, sits back and waits for the "footballers are/aren't morons" debate to kick off again**

_____________________________

WWLD?

Every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

(in reply to horribleives)
Post #: 127
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 6:21:09 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot
quote:

"I couldn't, to be honest, finish a complete book. It's very difficult for me to write a kids' book. I basically have the characters that I've come up with and the storylines, so once I get through that I normally write a whole list of the story and where it goes, then at the end I sit down with Mike" his editor "and he will help me with how you put it together."

So did you actually write any words?

"Yeah, bits of it."




quote:

"I would love to get to the stage," he says later, "where I can actually write the whole book myself."




< Message edited by DancingClown -- 6/6/2013 6:29:12 PM >


_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to sharkboy)
Post #: 128
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 8:05:53 PM   
Darth Marenghi

 

Posts: 3224
Joined: 10/10/2010
From: Manchester

quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown


quote:

"I would love to get to the stage," he says later, "where I can actually write the whole book myself."








_____________________________

Invisible Text for SPOILERS: "color=#F1F1F1" Spoiler text "/color" , then change the quotation marks to square brackets.


(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 129
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 9:46:14 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darth Marenghi


quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown


quote:

"I would love to get to the stage," he says later, "where I can actually write the whole book myself."








I'm trying my hardest to see the funny side, but as an unpublished writer a part of my soul is atrophying everytime I read that part. And I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, I was willing to think "okay, okay, enough with the bitterness, he might actually be really good at this". Turns out he had some ideas. Ideas. That's all. I've written four books in my lifetime, and they'll probably never see the light of day, but at least I knew how to fucking create them from my ideas. And I wrote them myself. With words. And sentences. And chapters and paragraphs and stuff. And my heart and fucking soul. And I knew how because I've been writing since I was little. Worked hard at them over the years, I feel. Not just something I decided to do on a whim.

Alas, I do not have a management team who will arrange meetings with big publishing houses to negotiate publishing deals for me.

Hey-ho.


_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to Darth Marenghi)
Post #: 130
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 10:01:25 PM   
Darth Marenghi

 

Posts: 3224
Joined: 10/10/2010
From: Manchester

quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown

I'm trying my hardest to see the funny side, but as an unpublished writer a part of my soul is atrophying everytime I read that part.



I know DC, and truly I do feel for you and hope that you find success with your work someday soon. But the whole thing was just comical from my (non-writerly) perspective - it was more bleak laughter on my part.

_____________________________

Invisible Text for SPOILERS: "color=#F1F1F1" Spoiler text "/color" , then change the quotation marks to square brackets.


(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 131
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 6/6/2013 10:07:19 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darth Marenghi


quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown

I'm trying my hardest to see the funny side, but as an unpublished writer a part of my soul is atrophying everytime I read that part.



I know DC, and truly I do feel for you and hope that you find success with your work someday soon. But the whole thing was just comical from my (non-writerly) perspective - it was more bleak laughter on my part.


No, no, you're quite right to laugh, because it is absurd. I shouldn't get too het up about it.

_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to Darth Marenghi)
Post #: 132
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 9:20:49 AM   
porntrooper

 

Posts: 2616
Joined: 6/9/2006
From: Sheffield
DC, do you not think that publishing houses need these kind of deals to ensure funding for other, less bankable writers?

If the publishing houses dont ensure they have guaranteed sales and profits through things like ghost written celeb books, how are they supposed to fund a writer that wont guarantee them any kind of return on investment? If publishing houses instantly dropped this kind of thing, and stopped using celeb books to get sales, do you think suddenly unpublished writers such as yourself will get a deal, get published and the world will be roses? Or do you think publishers may be even more selective about the titles they take from unknowns? Who gives a fuck if Frankie Lampard takes assistance from an editor to put together a book for kids based on his ideas? Kids will read the books and enjoy em, the publisher will get some profits and cashflow to presumably fund other publishing deals, Frankie gets some publicity and maybe even learns how to be an author so when he has a story idea in the future, he can craft the book himself.

Edited....

My apologies, in a fucking mood this morning. Tone of my post was unnecessary and read like an attack on DC.... which it wasn't meant to.

< Message edited by porntrooper -- 7/6/2013 9:30:53 AM >


_____________________________

"I've got an idea for a special infiltration technique. It involves draining a man of his blood and replacing it with Tizer."

(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 133
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 10:49:09 AM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot

quote:

ORIGINAL: porntrooper

DC, do you not think that publishing houses need these kind of deals to ensure funding for other, less bankable writers?


It's a very good point, I'll concede.

quote:

Who gives a fuck if Frankie Lampard takes assistance from an editor to put together a book for kids based on his ideas? Kids will read the books and enjoy em, the publisher will get some profits and cashflow to presumably fund other publishing deals, Frankie gets some publicity and maybe even learns how to be an author so when he has a story idea in the future, he can craft the book himself.


I know what you're saying, but it is very frustrating and dispiriting for those of us who have worked hard at our writing for many years to see someone not only jump the queue because of their celebrity but someone who admits that he didn't even know how to write. There are loads of unpublished authors like myself and while the question of whether or not we're actually any good is an important one at least we've taught ourselves the craft through work and commitment in the face of almost inevitable rejection. At least we know how to take our ideas and structure a novel. We won't get anywhere by approaching an agent or an editor by saying "yeah, I've got some great ideas but I don't actually know how to turn them into a narrative". Even if they're good ideas. Someone like Lampard can do that, not only because he has celebrity cache, he also has a crack management team, including his own agent and PR monkey, who can set up all the meetings and negotiations he needs.

It's just a bit depressing.


_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to porntrooper)
Post #: 134
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 11:51:56 AM   
Chief


Posts: 7778
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee
O/T but fuck it....

DC, how easy is it to self publish an ebook onto the Kindle store, for example? If you've written four can you not throw one on for free or 0.99p and get your name out there? Is it as simple as that?

(in reply to Cloud Cuckoo)
Post #: 135
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 12:03:10 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot
Yeah, there's Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing facility with which you can publish your book. I don't know if it costs anything, but the author retains 70% of any royalties, as far as I know.

I could do it. But I'm a stubborn bastard. Plus I have nightmares about my stuff getting nicked, although I'm sure it would be protected legally. I think. Tempting.....

_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to Chief)
Post #: 136
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 12:06:08 PM   
horribleives

 

Posts: 5101
Joined: 12/6/2009
From: The North

quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown

Yeah, there's Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing facility with which you can publish your book. I don't know if it costs anything, but the author retains 70% of any royalties, as far as I know.

I could do it. But I'm a stubborn bastard. Plus I have nightmares about my stuff getting nicked, although I'm sure it would be protected legally. I think. Tempting.....


I imagine you already get Writing magazine but if not pick up a copy as it regularly has a ton of information about self-publishing.

_____________________________

www.hollywoodunbound.co.uk - some nonsense about alien film directors and musclebound man-children.

(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 137
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 12:30:48 PM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7864
Joined: 3/10/2005
I've just ordered one of Frank's books.. I reckon my 5 year-old will love the mixture of pirates and footy.

(in reply to Chief)
Post #: 138
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 1:15:22 PM   
Professor Moriarty

 

Posts: 10462
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: the waters of Casablanca

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinatra

I've just ordered one of Frank's books.. I reckon my 5 year-old will love the mixture of pirates and footy.


I so knew you'd buy it! Try not to stick the pages together before you read it to your 5 y-o.

(in reply to Sinatra)
Post #: 139
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 1:40:47 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinatra

I've just ordered one of Frank's books.. I reckon my 5 year-old will love the mixture of pirates and footy.


Just remember to skip the part where Little Frankie and his mates get thrown out of an airport for abusing passengers and then film themselves fucking a groupie.

_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to Sinatra)
Post #: 140
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 2:31:38 PM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7864
Joined: 3/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinatra

I've just ordered one of Frank's books.. I reckon my 5 year-old will love the mixture of pirates and footy.


Just remember to skip the part where Little Frankie and his mates get thrown out of an airport for abusing passengers and then film themselves fucking a groupie.



Awww, now now... dont be jealous

(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 141
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 2:33:05 PM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7864
Joined: 3/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Professor Moriarty


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinatra

I've just ordered one of Frank's books.. I reckon my 5 year-old will love the mixture of pirates and footy.


I so knew you'd buy it! Try not to stick the pages together before you read it to your 5 y-o.




(in reply to Professor Moriarty)
Post #: 142
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 2:52:01 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot


_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to Sinatra)
Post #: 143
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 3:34:41 PM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7864
Joined: 3/10/2005
That is lovely...

(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 144
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 7/6/2013 3:42:22 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot



_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to Sinatra)
Post #: 145
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 12/6/2013 4:46:54 PM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7864
Joined: 3/10/2005
It's arrived!

(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 146
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 12/6/2013 10:41:10 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot
What's wrong with regular toilet paper?

_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to Sinatra)
Post #: 147
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 13/6/2013 10:11:51 AM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7864
Joined: 3/10/2005


I'll be 100% honest, the first chapter was pretty shite... I'm hoping it gets better.

(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 148
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 19/7/2013 10:07:28 AM   
Cloud Cuckoo


Posts: 408
Joined: 7/2/2013
From: Mind your own

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinatra

I'll be 100% honest, the first chapter was pretty shite...




_____________________________

In Thom we trust.

(in reply to Sinatra)
Post #: 149
RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) - 19/7/2013 11:59:21 AM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4259
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot
If ever a single gif has absolutely made my day....

_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to Cloud Cuckoo)
Post #: 150
Page:   <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
All Forums >> [On Another Note...] >> News and Hot Topics >> RE: Frank Lampard writes about magic footballs (really) Page: <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts


Movie News|Empire Blog|Movie Reviews|Future Films|Features|Video Interviews|Image Gallery|Competitions|Forum|Magazine|Resources
Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.4.5 ANSI

0.156