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My time travel film

 
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My time travel film - 15/1/2013 7:24:07 PM   
Harry Cross

 

Posts: 7
Joined: 15/1/2013
I'm new here so I'm not sure if this is the correct section or not, but this is a film that I have made for school work. It is based around time-travel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PS1ET43kF0

Enjoy, and remember to leave feedback
Post #: 1
RE: My time travel film - 24/1/2013 7:43:19 PM   
Harry Cross

 

Posts: 7
Joined: 15/1/2013
feedback plz

(in reply to Harry Cross)
Post #: 2
RE: My time travel film - 31/1/2013 5:18:52 PM   
Harry Cross

 

Posts: 7
Joined: 15/1/2013
This forum is pretty much dead

(in reply to Harry Cross)
Post #: 3
RE: My time travel film - 30/3/2013 1:08:22 AM   
max314


Posts: 2744
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: London
Pretty much.

But, in the eventuality that you're still checking in from time to time, I'll offer you a quick critique.

I won't comment on the acting since neither you nor your co-star are trained actors.

With regards to script, I have to say that I clocked your ending from the opening scene. Nevertheless, it's still a smartly written script, even if it is overly conceptual and expositional and lacking in terms of character development. Also, your story structure is somewhat lopsided your first and last acts are the only places where a discernible narrative exhibits itself, whereas the rest is a montage in which your audience struggles to invest since we don't really care about the characters being "montaged".

Aesthetically, the film is a bit overly processed with the whole faux bleach bypass thing and the slow motion. I know the look you were going for, but perhaps you were trying a bit too hard to be "stylish" to the point that you kept the audience at too much of a distance from what was going on. So a more naturalistic approach may have suited the film better.

In conclusion, let me say well done, good effort, and I hope you keep making films, keep learning, and one day I'd like to see an even better product. If nothing else, you kept me watching till the very end and that's the baseline from which you have to start. So thumbs up from me.

Congratulations and good luck.

_____________________________

MAX

Laying the 314 on your candy ass.

(in reply to Harry Cross)
Post #: 4
RE: My time travel film - 3/4/2013 9:39:44 PM   
Harry Cross

 

Posts: 7
Joined: 15/1/2013
Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it a lot :)

< Message edited by Harry Cross -- 3/4/2013 9:40:01 PM >

(in reply to max314)
Post #: 5
RE: My time travel film - 19/6/2013 11:22:34 PM   
Harry Cross

 

Posts: 7
Joined: 15/1/2013
Still appreciating all feedback

(in reply to Harry Cross)
Post #: 6
RE: My time travel film - 4/7/2013 2:25:15 PM   
cillitbang


Posts: 357
Joined: 11/6/2006
Harry what did you shoot this on? Max is right, it's overprocessed, and the script needs work, but your framing and shot choice is pretty strong. good stuff!

_____________________________

www.youtube.com/Willwebbful
www.youtube.com/indietrix

(in reply to Harry Cross)
Post #: 7
RE: My time travel film - 5/7/2013 3:24:22 AM   
Harry Cross

 

Posts: 7
Joined: 15/1/2013
Hi, it was shot on a pretty cheap camcorder, here is the link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sony-Handycam-CX190-Full-Camcorder/dp/B006W74H1S

< Message edited by Harry Cross -- 5/7/2013 3:25:06 AM >

(in reply to cillitbang)
Post #: 8
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