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RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore

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RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 30/12/2012 10:51:08 PM   
tommyjarvis


Posts: 6618
Joined: 2/11/2005
From: Caught somewhere in time
 A late contender for TOTY

Sir Rog

I'm tempted to start using Plenty of Fish (the online dating thingy). What should I use as my opening chat-up line to get the laydeez frothing?

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Post #: 31
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 31/12/2012 11:24:16 AM   
Beno


Posts: 8078
Joined: 15/2/2007
From: Sheffield
 Dearest 'The Big Knit' ..... remember me?

Oh the orgies we had - although i had my eyes shut a lot of the time!! You do recall dontcha fellah? The way we used to try and get away from that annoying 'hanger on' Tony 'C*nt' Curtis by constantly telling hin we'd seen a big breasted blonde in random places like the Gents Loo and like the knob he was he'd go a looking

Anyhoo hows life been since the mole removal? I had to stop hanging around with you after you had it removed cos you just looked weird - no hard feelings eh?

Anyhoo my question is ...... that drill you borrowed in 1960 when you were Maverick so you could "drill a hole thru to next doors dressing room" ...... have you done with it yet??


Yours omnisincerely

Lew Grades secret middle child xx

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"The one about the space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedalbin. His Father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his Sister. Lego ... They're all made of fucking Lego!!"

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Post #: 32
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 31/12/2012 8:20:49 PM   
Sir Roger Moore


Posts: 18
Joined: 29/12/2012
Hello again everyone! You've all been busy offering your love queries, so I'll try and satisfy a few of you in one go (oo-er!).

Firstly, 'Pigeon Army': what colour is your hair? As we all now, a good agent will always have sexy jet-black hair. Buy yourself some hair dye, Pigeon Army, and you'll soon have an army of birds chasing you!

'Sanchia': you're absolutely correct - being dapper is key if you want to tap 'er. Watch all my movies for further information.

Mr Coe: I'm afraid I don't remember those books very well, so you've left me a bit 'read'-faced! Your mistake was getting beaten up though, because James Bond doesn't pick up a scratch in a fight.

Mr Jarvis: I'm not familiar with the website you've mentioned, but I recommend a witty joke as a good come-on line - follow my lead and you'll be 'The Man With The Golden Pun'!

Beno: I can't remember that drill too well. It wouldn't be the first screw I've forgotten about though!


RM

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I played James Bond from 1973 to 1985. Some people think I was in the role for a few years Moore than I should have been!

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Post #: 33
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 31/12/2012 8:34:01 PM   
vad3r


Posts: 4284
Joined: 3/9/2010
From: Close to Mod HQ
 How does it feel for your sole career highlight to be the following reference:

''That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore. It is worth one hundred and fifty dollars.''




?

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quote:

ORIGINAL: horribleives
To paraphrase the great man himself:

Vad3r won't go anywhere near this.

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Post #: 34
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 31/12/2012 10:35:49 PM   
Mister Coe

 

Posts: 663
Joined: 20/10/2012

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sir Roger Moore

Hello again everyone! You've all been busy offering your love queries, so I'll try and satisfy a few of you in one go (oo-er!).

Firstly, 'Pigeon Army': what colour is your hair? As we all now, a good agent will always have sexy jet-black hair. Buy yourself some hair dye, Pigeon Army, and you'll soon have an army of birds chasing you!

'Sanchia': you're absolutely correct - being dapper is key if you want to tap 'er. Watch all my movies for further information.

Mr Coe: I'm afraid I don't remember those books very well, so you've left me a bit 'read'-faced! Your mistake was getting beaten up though, because James Bond doesn't pick up a scratch in a fight.

Mr Jarvis: I'm not familiar with the website you've mentioned, but I recommend a witty joke as a good come-on line - follow my lead and you'll be 'The Man With The Golden Pun'!

Beno: I can't remember that drill too well. It wouldn't be the first screw I've forgotten about though!


RM



I don't care if you're not the real Roger Moore. I love you anyway.



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Say what now?

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Post #: 35
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 2/1/2013 2:39:43 PM   
Jonnie_K


Posts: 19
Joined: 13/10/2011
Dear Roger

My wife is constantly accusing me of "not listening". This is true, of course, but I have to deny it. But then I get caught out later when something crops up she told me about.

Is there a better response I can give her when shes "going on" about stuff (y'know money, kids, work etc) while im trying to concentrate on the footy?



PS- Please dont tell me to hit her, shes liable to beat the sh*t out of me!

sorry, just realised this is not really a love question in the sense you may have meant. it is in the way that i would just "love" to watch the footy uninterrupted!

< Message edited by Jonnie_K -- 2/1/2013 2:41:28 PM >

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Post #: 36
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 2/1/2013 2:55:51 PM   
matty_b


Posts: 13123
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mister Coe


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sir Roger Moore

Hello again everyone! You've all been busy offering your love queries, so I'll try and satisfy a few of you in one go (oo-er!).

Firstly, 'Pigeon Army': what colour is your hair? As we all now, a good agent will always have sexy jet-black hair. Buy yourself some hair dye, Pigeon Army, and you'll soon have an army of birds chasing you!

'Sanchia': you're absolutely correct - being dapper is key if you want to tap 'er. Watch all my movies for further information.

Mr Coe: I'm afraid I don't remember those books very well, so you've left me a bit 'read'-faced! Your mistake was getting beaten up though, because James Bond doesn't pick up a scratch in a fight.

Mr Jarvis: I'm not familiar with the website you've mentioned, but I recommend a witty joke as a good come-on line - follow my lead and you'll be 'The Man With The Golden Pun'!

Beno: I can't remember that drill too well. It wouldn't be the first screw I've forgotten about though!


RM



I don't care if you're not the real Roger Moore. I love you anyway.




WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.


(in reply to Mister Coe)
Post #: 37
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 2/1/2013 10:20:24 PM   
Mister Coe

 

Posts: 663
Joined: 20/10/2012

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mister Coe


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sir Roger Moore

Hello again everyone! You've all been busy offering your love queries, so I'll try and satisfy a few of you in one go (oo-er!).

Firstly, 'Pigeon Army': what colour is your hair? As we all now, a good agent will always have sexy jet-black hair. Buy yourself some hair dye, Pigeon Army, and you'll soon have an army of birds chasing you!

'Sanchia': you're absolutely correct - being dapper is key if you want to tap 'er. Watch all my movies for further information.

Mr Coe: I'm afraid I don't remember those books very well, so you've left me a bit 'read'-faced! Your mistake was getting beaten up though, because James Bond doesn't pick up a scratch in a fight.

Mr Jarvis: I'm not familiar with the website you've mentioned, but I recommend a witty joke as a good come-on line - follow my lead and you'll be 'The Man With The Golden Pun'!

Beno: I can't remember that drill too well. It wouldn't be the first screw I've forgotten about though!


RM



I don't care if you're not the real Roger Moore. I love you anyway.




WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT



I say that because Roger Moore is like God to me. My first grown-up moment at the cinema was THE SPY WHO LOVED ME, and that bit when he went over that cliff, fell for a long while and then opened up that Union Jack parachute... that set the standard for cinema in my eyes, now and forever. Fuck any Michael Bay CGI bollocks with shitty robots and bad actors!

So, if 'Sir Roger Moore' is the genuine article, no matter how slight and miniscule and pathetic the chance of it might be, I'll take that chance. If not, I'm talking to some silly cunt on the internet... no change there!



Just read back the post and Matty B, I don't mean you're a silly C-word...

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Post #: 38
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 2/1/2013 10:25:35 PM   
matty_b


Posts: 13123
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

I am, but that's for another discussion.

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.


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Post #: 39
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 2/1/2013 10:46:19 PM   
MonsterCat


Posts: 6411
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire
 No, Matty's a fascist.

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Post #: 40
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 2/1/2013 10:46:38 PM   
Pigeon Army


Posts: 14611
Joined: 29/1/2006
From: Pixar HQ, George Lucas' Office.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sir Roger Moore

Hello again everyone! You've all been busy offering your love queries, so I'll try and satisfy a few of you in one go (oo-er!).

Firstly, 'Pigeon Army': what colour is your hair? As we all now, a good agent will always have sexy jet-black hair. Buy yourself some hair dye, Pigeon Army, and you'll soon have an army of birds chasing you!



Where's your sexy jet-black hair? I CALL SHENANIGANS

I BET YOU'RE REALLY PIERCE BROSNAN

< Message edited by Pigeon Army -- 2/1/2013 10:47:00 PM >

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rinc
She's supposed to be 13! I'd want her to be very attractive though


quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pigeon Army
Stop being mean to Deviation

No.

(in reply to Sir Roger Moore)
Post #: 41
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 3/1/2013 10:20:56 AM   
matty_b


Posts: 13123
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

No, Matty's a fascist.


Reported to Mods.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.


(in reply to MonsterCat)
Post #: 42
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 3/1/2013 11:15:27 AM   
Pigeon Army


Posts: 14611
Joined: 29/1/2006
From: Pixar HQ, George Lucas' Office.
quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b


quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

No, Matty's a fascist.


Reported to Mods.


Christ your a bitch

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rinc
She's supposed to be 13! I'd want her to be very attractive though


quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pigeon Army
Stop being mean to Deviation

No.

(in reply to matty_b)
Post #: 43
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 10/1/2013 11:05:32 PM   
Beno


Posts: 8078
Joined: 15/2/2007
From: Sheffield
 Wheres Rog?

_____________________________

"The one about the space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedalbin. His Father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his Sister. Lego ... They're all made of fucking Lego!!"

(in reply to Pigeon Army)
Post #: 44
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 11/1/2013 1:09:25 PM   
BigKovacs


Posts: 3145
Joined: 6/4/2006
From: Textile Street.
 Dear Sir Roger,

I've met a new lady and visiting the South of France with her and were meeting her family down there. I was thinking of wearing a pastel coloured safari suit for most of the trip. Would you recommend this or do you think it's a bit dated?

Regards,

Kovacs.

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Gamertag: Cambo1979.

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Post #: 45
RE: Love Advice With Sir Roger Moore - 12/1/2013 11:10:14 PM   
Mister Coe

 

Posts: 663
Joined: 20/10/2012
Sir Roger...

I just started working for a couple of low-budget gangsters from the US. They had me delivering unusual packages all over London. It turns out that the packages were full of drugs. I ended up shooting one of them in the head and force-feeding the other one a package full of heroin (which was laced with stry... stkr... stricnine... some poisonous stuff...)

I hear you have some experience in this area? Please bear in mind that I don't have any theatrically-trained alcoholics to back me up...

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Post #: 46
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