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Short notes to/for directors

 
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Short notes to/for directors - 13/11/2012 12:13:57 PM   
m_er


Posts: 3958
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Istanpool
Hi folks! It’s been more than a year (I guess or even yearS) that I opened a thread here. Well it’s not that I opened this thread just because ‘I have to’, no it’s not that. It is because I’ve just got this bright idea, to write ‘notes’ to the director or rather to a film crew to tell’em something that they should include/leave out in their next film. Or tell/ note down to the director one or two things, not to do something etc. Or give’em the hell for shooting a particular moment that you hated it etc…
Ready to write your short footnotes? Well, this is your chance to tell’em what they should do or what they shouldn’t do in their next films?

I go first;

A short note to Sam Mendes:
‘‘When you shoot another Bond film, you should leave out the sex scenes in your Bond films. Coz, they are and they seem pointless in your films. And focus MORE on crash-boom-bang, coz I love and can’t get tired of watching action scenes in Bond movies’’


< Message edited by m_er -- 13/11/2012 12:16:36 PM >


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Post #: 1
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 13/11/2012 12:36:08 PM   
elab49


Posts: 54575
Joined: 1/10/2005
Why would someone drop one of the parts of the Bond formula though? 

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Post #: 2
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 16/11/2012 7:55:12 AM   
Sotto Voce

 

Posts: 788
Joined: 5/9/2009
To: Shyamalan

Get someone else to write your scripts.



To: Whoever directs Star Wars VII

For God's sake, get it right.



To: Uwe Boll

Keep up the excellent work.

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Post #: 3
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 18/11/2012 6:37:57 PM   
Moorish


Posts: 326
Joined: 17/10/2005
From: Scotland
To whoever directs SW7: go wind THEM up!


(in reply to Sotto Voce)
Post #: 4
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 18/11/2012 9:29:26 PM   
Cool Breeze


Posts: 2351
Joined: 9/11/2011
From: The Internet
To Bryan Singer:

Before directing the new X Men movie, go and actually watch the first 3 films, remember what happened in them, dont contradict them in your prequel, and please tell Michael Fassbender that Magneto isn't supposed to have an Irish accent.

To Ridley Scott:

When making your Prometheus sequel, please get a different writer to script it and actually read it just to see if it actually makes sense.

< Message edited by Cool Breeze -- 18/11/2012 9:31:49 PM >


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Post #: 5
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 19/11/2012 7:58:35 PM   
AngryDude92


Posts: 979
Joined: 16/4/2008
To Alfred Hitchcock
Missing you loads.

To Paul Thomas Anderson
Keep up the good work

To George Miller
Don't fuck up the new mad max like you did thethird one, keep Max mad, violent and away from kids.

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Post #: 6
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 20/11/2012 12:47:14 PM   
Whistler


Posts: 3076
Joined: 22/11/2006
To Chris Nolan:
Do a Bond film.  Also, can I help you make it?

To Gareth Evans:
Hold a workshop for most of Hollywood on how to direct action sequences.

To Tom Six:
F**k you. 

(in reply to AngryDude92)
Post #: 7
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 20/11/2012 4:14:53 PM   
Cool Breeze


Posts: 2351
Joined: 9/11/2011
From: The Internet
To Chris Nolan:

DON'T do a Bond film.They are beneath you now.

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Post #: 8
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 22/11/2012 4:43:00 PM   
Don_a_van


Posts: 98
Joined: 30/1/2007
And to counterbalance

To Chris Nolan

Change the record already, "We know you like dark, gritty realism but it's gotten old now and not every movie has to done in this style"


To Whoever Directs the new Star Wars Movies

DO NOT F*CK THEM UP. You will have an entire legion of troops (see what I did there?) wanting to kill you and your family with fire for all eternity.

(in reply to Cool Breeze)
Post #: 9
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 23/11/2012 2:07:34 PM   
dolfinack

 

Posts: 77
Joined: 20/7/2011
From: Belfast

quote:

ORIGINAL: Don_a_van

And to counterbalance

To Chris Nolan

Change the record already, "We know you like dark, gritty realism but it's gotten old now and not every movie has to done in this style"


To Whoever Directs the new Star Wars Movies

DO NOT F*CK THEM UP. You will have an entire legion of troops (see what I did there?) wanting to kill you and your family with fire for all eternity.


I love you. All movie directors, see above!

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Post #: 10
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 26/11/2012 5:01:24 PM   
Don_a_van


Posts: 98
Joined: 30/1/2007

quote:

ORIGINAL: dolfinack


quote:

ORIGINAL: Don_a_van

And to counterbalance

To Chris Nolan

Change the record already, "We know you like dark, gritty realism but it's gotten old now and not every movie has to done in this style"


To Whoever Directs the new Star Wars Movies

DO NOT F*CK THEM UP. You will have an entire legion of troops (see what I did there?) wanting to kill you and your family with fire for all eternity.


I love you. All movie directors, see above!



[Naked gun mode \on] Err... I love you too [Naked gun mode \off]

Glad it's not just me whose getting a bit bored\depressed with it all. Lighten up people, it's a movie!

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Post #: 11
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 26/11/2012 8:16:34 PM   
musht


Posts: 1860
Joined: 21/1/2009
From: Oireland
To James Cameron:
Stop

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Post #: 12
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 26/11/2012 9:53:03 PM   
Coyleone


Posts: 567
Joined: 13/10/2008
To Nicolas Winding Refn...
Please continue to be completely awesome and stuff

To Terrence Malick...
Please keep making films in the style you do, and just make whatever the hell pops into your brain

To Christopher Nolan...
Yeah, don't do Bond. You're better than that.

To James Cameron...
Please F off...Right now.

(in reply to musht)
Post #: 13
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 25/3/2013 2:03:08 PM   
Mr Gittes

 

Posts: 567
Joined: 3/2/2013
To James Cameron...
*in the style of Carlito Brigante* What the fock is happening to you?

To Paul Thomas Anderson and Frank Darabont...
Make more movies please.

To Quentin Tarantino...
Love your work and everything, but if you could just get your characters to shut up occasionally things would be perfect. Also, I'd love to see you do a science fiction film.

To Clint Eastwood...
There are ways to move the camera other than a steadicam, you know.

To Matthew Vaughn...
Ever heard of quality control? Yeah, the CGI in your movies could use a bit of that. Otherwise, good stuff.

To Zack Snyder...
None of that slow-mo crap in Man Of Steel please.

To George Lucas...
Fuck you. Sincerely.

To Steven Spielberg...
Have a word with your buddy George about releasing original cuts of movies like you did with the E.T. blu ray. Also...um...love you.

To David Fincher...
We all know you're actually a serial killer, so if George doesn't listen to Steve, just kill the fucker. In the style of the Gluttony murder (though it wouldn't take very long). Also, make The Girl Who Played With Fire NOW!

To JJ Abrams...
Please don't fuck this up.

(in reply to Coyleone)
Post #: 14
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 26/3/2013 11:32:34 AM   
BudBaxter

 

Posts: 664
Joined: 31/1/2008
Mr Tarantino - please stay behind the camera.

Juan Solanas - please reshoot the last 15 minutes of Upside Down so it actually has a vaguely satisfying ending, rather than someone coming in & saying "Hey, everything's been resolved offscreen. Live happily ever after!"

(in reply to Mr Gittes)
Post #: 15
RE: Short notes to/for directors - 26/3/2013 1:20:14 PM   
filmburner30

 

Posts: 1554
Joined: 5/12/2006
From: guildford
Martin Scorsese -Keep making movies and being a genius

Michael Bay - please stop hitting me over the head with your films.

Ben Wheatley-never accept a Hollywood gig be like Ken Loach and make great British films

Michael Haneke-How about something light like a musical comedy for your next film ?

Lars Von Trier- please read Michael Hanekes attached note.



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Post #: 16
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