ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE

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ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 8:06:24 AM

sophiasarah19

Posts: 1
Joined: 16/10/2012

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE.
It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

< Message edited by Rinc -- 16/10/2012 8:20:37 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 8:16:38 AM

UTB

Posts: 8967
Joined: 30/9/2005

11. Masturbate more.

(in reply to sophiasarah19)

Post #: 2

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 9:34:14 AM

steffols

Posts: 7613
Joined: 3/10/2005
From: Jungleland

I dunno bout you Soph but energy vampires sound like fun.

_____________________________

It's midnight in Manhattan, this is no time to get cute, it's a mad dog's promenade,
So walk tall, or baby don't walk at all.

(in reply to UTB)

Post #: 3

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 10:27:22 AM

sharkboy

Posts: 6023
Joined: 26/9/2005
From: Belfast

quote:

ORIGINAL: steffols

I dunno bout you Soph but energy vampires sound like fun.

For some reason I've got an image of an evil duracell bunny in my head...

_____________________________

WWLD?

Every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

(in reply to steffols)

Post #: 4

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 10:49:08 AM

superdan

Posts: 7199
Joined: 31/7/2008

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiasarah19

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE.
It is the ultimate antidepressant. Bear in mind people will think you're crazy and cross the road when they see you approaching.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Preferably while taking a dump.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today. When he doesn't answer, don't take it personally. He's like that with everyone.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. Space cakes FTW.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds. Be prepared for noxious farts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day. But again, people might think you're a weirdo.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. Even if you've just been told you have a dose of the clap.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. This might make dating tricky.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. Good-to-middling. Middling-to-poor. For some lucky souls, it's absolutely fucking fantastic. These people are arseholes.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything! Except Jimmy Savile. Unstoppable super-paedos are beyond forgiveness..

(in reply to sophiasarah19)

Post #: 5

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 3:05:02 PM

donethinking

Posts: 430
Joined: 24/4/2012
From: Haggisland

(in reply to superdan)

Post #: 6

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 3:45:48 PM

steflon

Posts: 3317
Joined: 2/9/2008
From: London

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE.
It is the ultimate antidepressant.

My feet hurt

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

i do, its called reading, much more fun

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

erm...no

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

and use up the worlds resources?

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

bluegh and boring and yeah ok but then bluegh and bluegh

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

if you met the people i see everyday you wouldnt care about them smiling

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

gossip is all there is to do at work, what?, without thinking about past mistakes your likely to make them again in the future, negativity is fine, it makes the positives seem better, without thinkin about things you cant control theres no hope of overcoming obstacles

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

coco pops, sandwich, whatevers in the fridge, that sound ok?

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

life isnt anything, it cant be classified as fair or unfair, and the majority of lives are good, go say that to an abused child!

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

forgiving them shows a hostility towards them in the first place, forgivness shows pity and pitying them is just as bad as hating.

1. wake up

2.be cynical

3. have a laugh

4. go about your day

_____________________________

www.twitter.com/Steflon
http://onedayiwillhavehenchmen.blogspot.com/

quote:

ORIGINAL: steffols
we can roam these vast Empire halls as awesome Stefs.

ORIGINAL: hiptobesquare_x
'and that's why Steflon is all kinds of awesome.'

(in reply to sophiasarah19)

Post #: 7

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 11:32:34 PM

Shifty Bench

Posts: 14550
Joined: 30/9/2005

1. Get up
2. Don't die
3. Go to bed.

Although you are ultimately going to fail at that one day........

(also, was the OP a Spam post? It was edited by a Mod)

< Message edited by Shifty Bench -- 16/10/2012 11:50:01 PM >

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b
You have a nice face, Shifty. A face I would have a cup of tea with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porntrooper
Shifty said it best

(in reply to steflon)

Post #: 8

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 11:38:39 PM

MonsterCat

Posts: 6207
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire

quote:

ORIGINAL: superdan

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything! Except Jimmy Savile. Unstoppable super-paedos are beyond forgiveness..

_____________________________

C*** and mocker of board members since March, 2011

Films watched in 2013

(in reply to superdan)

Post #: 9

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 16/10/2012 11:42:33 PM

MonsterCat

Posts: 6207
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiasarah19

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

This isn't a tip. It's more like a motto or something.

_____________________________

C*** and mocker of board members since March, 2011

Films watched in 2013

(in reply to sophiasarah19)

Post #: 10

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 10:33:03 AM

UTB

Posts: 8967
Joined: 30/9/2005

12. Consider LED before 1080p.

(in reply to MonsterCat)

Post #: 11

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 10:38:38 AM

shool

Posts: 9607
Joined: 24/3/2006
From: In The Pipe, Five by Five.

13. Buy a Baguette. Smash the System.

_____________________________

Invisio Text for Spoilers
[ color=#F1F1F1 ] Spoiler text [ /color ] , remove spaces between square brackets

"No one knows what it means, but it's provocative... It gets the people going!"

(in reply to UTB)

Post #: 12

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 10:43:21 AM

Hood_Man

Posts: 11267
Joined: 30/9/2005

14. If people are swearing and making Mum jokes, just let it be...

(in reply to shool)

Post #: 13

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 10:56:48 AM

Chief

Posts: 7008
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: The Kingdom, Scotland

15. JET IS SEX

(in reply to sophiasarah19)

Post #: 14

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 11:05:03 AM

matty_b

Posts: 12839
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

16. Smash Paul into a bloody, heaving pulp.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.

(in reply to Chief)

Post #: 15

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 11:26:49 AM

OPEN YOUR EYES

Posts: 3446
Joined: 5/2/2012
From: Living on Lynch's quiff

What's a energy vampire?

_____________________________

?eeffoc emos ekil uoy dluow

(in reply to matty_b)

Post #: 16

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 11:29:16 AM

shool

Posts: 9607
Joined: 24/3/2006
From: In The Pipe, Five by Five.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OPEN YOUR EYES

What's a energy vampire?

Have you ever seen lifeforce?

_____________________________

Invisio Text for Spoilers
[ color=#F1F1F1 ] Spoiler text [ /color ] , remove spaces between square brackets

"No one knows what it means, but it's provocative... It gets the people going!"

(in reply to OPEN YOUR EYES)

Post #: 17

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 11:30:34 AM

OPEN YOUR EYES

Posts: 3446
Joined: 5/2/2012
From: Living on Lynch's quiff

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

quote:

ORIGINAL: OPEN YOUR EYES

What's a energy vampire?

Have you ever seen lifeforce?

...no...

_____________________________

?eeffoc emos ekil uoy dluow

(in reply to shool)

Post #: 18

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 11:34:09 AM

sharkboy

Posts: 6023
Joined: 26/9/2005
From: Belfast

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

Isn't that prozac? Just wait til I see my GP again!!

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

Or as I call it, phone your mum.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

You could always combine this with No. 2 by spending 10 minutes waiting for your invisible friend to answer before realising it ain't gonna happen and taking control of your own life.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

AKA veganism? Fuck that shit - I didn't evolve to the top of the food chain to eat quiche.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

1&2 make me piss like a racehorse. 3&4 make me fart. 5 makes me sick. Do you really think this leads to a better life?

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

Warning - tickling strangers can get you in trouble. Who knew? Last time I try that!

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

If your energy is so precious, why waste over an hour a week doing nothing as recommended at 2 above?

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

Is this king OK?

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

Tell that to Sisyphus! "Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux" my arse!

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

But you were an attempted spammer. Spammers deserve no forgiveness, only death.

< Message edited by sharkboy -- 17/10/2012 11:36:02 AM >

_____________________________

WWLD?

Every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

(in reply to sophiasarah19)

Post #: 19

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 17/10/2012 8:40:08 PM

Deviation

Posts: 26905
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Enemies of Film HQ

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharkboy
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

But you were an attempted spammer.� Spammers deserve no forgiveness, only death.

But sharkboy, I spam for the community.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dpp1978
There are certainly times where calling a person a cunt is not only reasonable, it is a gross understatement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49
I really wish I could go down to see Privates

(in reply to sharkboy)

Post #: 20

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 19/10/2012 12:19:18 AM

homersimpson_esq

Posts: 19962
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

Mahn uLMITON TAHps fo wo a baha lahf an'da, ok?

1. Oh, teka tanna far'iy miniss woks onna aldays anna finks wiley woks yas smarlin, anya?
I'issa ulmiton anni pwesens, ifya seewo'amean.

2. Satin inna sience fo lahk, I no, abow teminnis onna day o summint.

3. Wennawaykn up inna moain pay fo ya aski Gahds Gaahdent, you no, fo ya purpels aday an'da.

4. Et mo fuds offe .tres .pants .an'da, ok, an no quiso mush offa manna fatend pants.

5. Dings grinty an pleny awahtens. Et .boobris .boccis anna .amens an'da..

6. Ty, seiffa meks, I no, aleese, abow fee paypels smarl aldays.

7. Dun wais ya pashons ahngee on .gossy .ahngee vompis .ishons ono pas .nevatine tots .o rilly anani tinya canno contole. Iss jusno wufit mans.
Insed avesta ahngee onna posatine pesant moanens. Meks mo sans, dunniss?

8. .et bahkfens likwo'a ken dons .et lahns likwo'a pins dons .an et dahnaz likwo'a conij kin dons, yano, winna massdout chahnj cahns, onviousley.

9. Lahf, isno far, bu yano, is sil pitie gun, inne? Fink.

10. Lahf, isto shaht ta waisen tarms heyton onnywens. Is'is jas to-o-o fahtin' shaht, mans. Wahno, I no, givvem allafing an'da!
Hahhah!
Na, no seryuns, no allafing! Jus givvem lika paund or summint. Da'be ahrite.

This looks like Maltese.

Dev, what's he saying?

_____________________________

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.

TREK WARS

Post #: 21

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 19/10/2012 4:29:41 AM

Deviation

Posts: 26905
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Enemies of Film HQ

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

Mahn uLMITON TAHps fo wo a baha lahf an'da, ok?

1. Oh, teka tanna far'iy miniss woks onna aldays anna finks wiley woks yas smarlin, anya?
I'issa ulmiton anni pwesens, ifya seewo'amean.

2. Satin inna sience fo lahk, I no, abow teminnis onna day o summint.

3. Wennawaykn up inna moain pay fo ya aski Gahds Gaahdent, you no, fo ya purpels aday an'da.

4. Et mo fuds offe .tres .pants .an'da, ok, an no quiso mush offa manna fatend pants.

5. Dings grinty an pleny awahtens. Et .boobris .boccis anna .amens an'da..

6. Ty, seiffa meks, I no, aleese, abow fee paypels smarl aldays.

7. Dun wais ya pashons ahngee on .gossy .ahngee vompis .ishons ono pas .nevatine tots .o rilly anani tinya canno contole. Iss jusno wufit mans.
Insed avesta ahngee onna posatine pesant moanens. Meks mo sans, dunniss?

8. .et bahkfens likwo'a ken dons .et lahns likwo'a pins dons .an et dahnaz likwo'a conij kin dons, yano, winna massdout chahnj cahns, onviousley.

9. Lahf, isno far, bu yano, is sil pitie gun, inne? Fink.

10. Lahf, isto shaht ta waisen tarms heyton onnywens. Is'is jas to-o-o fahtin' shaht, mans. Wahno, I no, givvem allafing an'da!
Hahhah!
Na, no seryuns, no allafing! Jus givvem lika paund or summint. Da'be ahrite.

This looks like Maltese.

Dev, what's he saying?

Xil-ostja qed tgħid?! Dak ma jixbaħx il-Malti, trid tgħamilli pjaċir u tmur tieħdu f'sormok int bil-liba Ingliż tiegħek arr grr eċċ......

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dpp1978
There are certainly times where calling a person a cunt is not only reasonable, it is a gross understatement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49
I really wish I could go down to see Privates

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)

Post #: 22

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 19/10/2012 12:40:32 PM

great_badir

Posts: 4172
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: A breaking rope bridge in the middle of the jungle

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq
This looks like Maltese.

Dev, what's he saying?

Xil-ostja qed tgħid?! Dak ma jixbaħx il-Malti, trid tgħamilli pjaċir u tmur tieħdu f'sormok int bil-liba Ingliż tiegħek arr grr eċċ......

Either Dev's not really a Malteser, or else Google Translate is shit...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation via Google Translate
Xil-rice is saying?! What does resembles the English, has tgħamilli have fun and go in semen sormok you with your English grr arr etc.

Why does "il-Malti" translate as "English" ?!

Looked more like Bislama (AKA the original Pidgin English) to me.

Actually, it doesn't.

Another tip for a better life - don't use soap to wash your jumble.

_____________________________

FAVE FILMS
BO BOMBS

Post #: 23

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 19/10/2012 1:52:56 PM

Chief

Posts: 7008
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: The Kingdom, Scotland

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

Mahn uLMITON TAHps fo wo a baha lahf an'da, ok?

1. Oh, teka tanna far'iy miniss woks onna aldays anna finks wiley woks yas smarlin, anya?
I'issa ulmiton anni pwesens, ifya seewo'amean.

2. Satin inna sience fo lahk, I no, abow teminnis onna day o summint.

3. Wennawaykn up inna moain pay fo ya aski Gahds Gaahdent, you no, fo ya purpels aday an'da.

4. Et mo fuds offe .tres .pants .an'da, ok, an no quiso mush offa manna fatend pants.

5. Dings grinty an pleny awahtens. Et .boobris .boccis anna .amens an'da..

6. Ty, seiffa meks, I no, aleese, abow fee paypels smarl aldays.

7. Dun wais ya pashons ahngee on .gossy .ahngee vompis .ishons ono pas .nevatine tots .o rilly anani tinya canno contole. Iss jusno wufit mans.
Insed avesta ahngee onna posatine pesant moanens. Meks mo sans, dunniss?

8. .et bahkfens likwo'a ken dons .et lahns likwo'a pins dons .an et dahnaz likwo'a conij kin dons, yano, winna massdout chahnj cahns, onviousley.

9. Lahf, isno far, bu yano, is sil pitie gun, inne? Fink.

10. Lahf, isto shaht ta waisen tarms heyton onnywens. Is'is jas to-o-o fahtin' shaht, mans. Wahno, I no, givvem allafing an'da!
Hahhah!
Na, no seryuns, no allafing! Jus givvem lika paund or summint. Da'be ahrite.

Patois?

16. If you are a single virgin, stop going on about it. You are not the only one and nobody cares.

Post #: 24

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 19/10/2012 3:51:29 PM

directorscut

Posts: 9825
Joined: 30/9/2005

Upgrade to Blu-ray, ffs.

_____________________________

Member of the TMNT 1000 Club.

Post #: 25

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 19/10/2012 8:05:28 PM

Deviation

Posts: 26905
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Enemies of Film HQ

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq
This looks like Maltese.

Dev, what's he saying?

Xil-ostja qed tgħid?! Dak ma jixbaħx il-Malti, trid tgħamilli pjaċir u tmur tieħdu f'sormok int bil-liba Ingliż tiegħek arr grr eċċ......

Either Dev's not really a Malteser, or else Google Translate is shit...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation via Google Translate
Xil-rice is saying?! What does resembles the English, has tgħamilli have fun and go in semen sormok you with your English grr arr etc.

Why does "il-Malti" translate as "English" ?!

It's Part 2. Google Translate is shit and can't always properly understand semantics, idioms, phrases, different sentence structures and some of the more refined parts of a language (liba is a vulgar word for semen, though it is also an offensive way to call someone or something, like calling him a cunt, even if it doesn't have such a STRONG connotation of cunt) between languages and also makes some mistakes. It's a reason why a translator would very rarely use googletranslate.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dpp1978
There are certainly times where calling a person a cunt is not only reasonable, it is a gross understatement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49
I really wish I could go down to see Privates

Post #: 26

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 20/10/2012 1:16:25 AM

Shifty Bench

Posts: 14550
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: directorscut

Upgrade to Blu-ray, ffs.

Yeah, Directorscut needs more people to moan to about how bad Universal Blu transfers are.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b
You have a nice face, Shifty. A face I would have a cup of tea with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porntrooper
Shifty said it best

(in reply to directorscut)

Post #: 27

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 20/10/2012 2:54:59 PM

Kilo_T_Mortal

Posts: 13521
Joined: 30/9/2005

drink beer and read books in the bath.

_____________________________

he's ruining my buestiful threat!

"She must have known about all this before she let that grinning loon put his space-cock anywhere near her?"
horribleives

(in reply to Shifty Bench)

Post #: 28

RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE - 21/10/2012 12:39:09 PM

kata

Posts: 3011
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Motorville

Enjoy your food.

_____________________________

XBL: GeneralLee79
PSN: GeneralLee_UK
Steam: GeneralLee_uk

Lovely detective work.

"Don't buy wigs that come off at the wrong time"

(in reply to Kilo_T_Mortal)

Post #: 29