Keith Lemon: The Film

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Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 7:53:55 PM

Empire Admin

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Post #: 1

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:02:08 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Please, God, no. Leigh Francis is about as funny as watching an orphanage burn. No, as funny as getting a brick through your window and discovering there's a gas bill attached to it. No, no, I've got it - as funny as the doctor telling you you've got cancer, asking him for a second opinion, and being told you're an arsehole as well.

Not a fan.

(Having said that, I acknowledge that there is a possibility that if I sat down and watched this I might actually enjoy it. The same way I acknowledge that one day we might achieve world peace.)

< Message edited by chris kilby -- 25/8/2012 11:07:04 PM >

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Post #: 2

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:08:41 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Wow! One star? I take that back.

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Post #: 3

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:23:10 PM

MonsterCat

Posts: 6208
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire

Terrence Davies finds it hard to get a project off the ground in the British Film Industry, but Leigh Francis gets funding for a Keith Lemon film.

We truly live in a godless universe and I pray for the world to end on 21st December 2012.

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Post #: 4

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:28:47 PM

Shifty Bench

Posts: 14555
Joined: 30/9/2005

How dare Empire give this.....

nah, fuck it, can't even finish the faux rant.

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quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b
You have a nice face, Shifty. A face I would have a cup of tea with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porntrooper
Shifty said it best

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Post #: 5

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:38:24 PM

OPEN YOUR EYES

Posts: 3451
Joined: 5/2/2012
From: Living on Lynch's quiff

I dont even know who he is.
Should I know who he is?

I'm so out of touch with the TV world.

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?eeffoc emos ekil uoy dluow

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Post #: 6

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:45:14 PM

UTB

Posts: 8968
Joined: 30/9/2005

Can I chuck in an Expendables-esque "this type of film is for the fans only: if you didn't like it you didn't get the joke" thing?

(in reply to OPEN YOUR EYES)

Post #: 7

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:46:36 PM

Hood_Man

Posts: 11270
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: UTB

Can I chuck in an Expendables-esque "this type of film is for the fans only: if you didn't like it you didn't get the joke" thing?

No.

http://forums.irowiki.org/images/smilies/monocle.gif

[EDIT]

Oh yeah, image tags don't work here...

< Message edited by Hood_Man -- 25/8/2012 11:47:10 PM >

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Post #: 8

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:50:29 PM

Shifty Bench

Posts: 14555
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: OPEN YOUR EYES

I dont even know who he is.
Should I know who he is?

I'm so out of touch with the TV world.

He is one of many alter-egos of Leigh Francis who became famous with the show Bo' Selecta playing characters such as The Bear, Avid Merrion , Craig David and Michael Jackson. As Keith Lemon, he hosts the award winning Celebrity Juice on ITV2.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b
You have a nice face, Shifty. A face I would have a cup of tea with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porntrooper
Shifty said it best

(in reply to OPEN YOUR EYES)

Post #: 9

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:53:14 PM

UTB

Posts: 8968
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

quote:

ORIGINAL: UTB

Can I chuck in an Expendables-esque "this type of film is for the fans only: if you didn't like it you didn't get the joke" thing?

No.

http://forums.irowiki.org/images/smilies/monocle.gif

[EDIT]

Oh yeah, image tags don't work here...

(in reply to Hood_Man)

Post #: 10

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 25/8/2012 11:54:35 PM

OPEN YOUR EYES

Posts: 3451
Joined: 5/2/2012
From: Living on Lynch's quiff

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shifty Bench

quote:

ORIGINAL: OPEN YOUR EYES

I dont even know who he is.
Should I know who he is?

I'm so out of touch with the TV world.

He is one of many alter-egos of Leigh Francis who became famous with the show Bo' Selecta playing characters such as The Bear, Avid Merrion , Craig David and Michael Jackson. As Keith Lemon, he hosts the award winning Celebrity Juice on ITV2.

I see.
I vaguely know of Bo Selecta but apart from that I really am living on the Moon.

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?eeffoc emos ekil uoy dluow

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Post #: 11

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 12:08:43 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shifty Bench

quote:

ORIGINAL: OPEN YOUR EYES

I dont even know who he is.
Should I know who he is?

I'm so out of touch with the TV world.

He is one of many alter-egos of Leigh Francis who became famous with the show Bo' Selecta playing characters such as The Bear, Avid Merrion , Craig David and Michael Jackson. As Keith Lemon, he hosts the award winning Celebrity Juice on ITV2.

And for all he has wrought, a brand new Tenth Level of Hell awaits him.

(Still preferable to watching any of that shit, though.)

< Message edited by chris kilby -- 26/8/2012 12:28:29 AM >

(in reply to Shifty Bench)

Post #: 12

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 12:24:21 AM

Shifty Bench

Posts: 14555
Joined: 30/9/2005

Never watched Bo' Selecta but I know Avid Merrion from skits on Big Brother's Little Brother.

Celebrity Juice shockingly doesn't make me want to claw my own eyes out.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b
You have a nice face, Shifty. A face I would have a cup of tea with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porntrooper
Shifty said it best

(in reply to chris kilby)

Post #: 13

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 11:50:42 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Leigh Francis is about as funny as taking a really long, satisfying shit then looking down and realising it's your intestines.

(in reply to Shifty Bench)

Post #: 14

WTF??? - 26/8/2012 11:52:29 AM

BenTramer

Posts: 864
Joined: 18/3/2009

Leigh Francis clearly has friends in high places as he keeps getting work despite having not one shred of talent. His so-called "characters" involve him doing a silly accent and non-stop knob gags. Anyone could do that. Kelly Brook must have been desperate for work to get involved in this shit. Piss poor.

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Post #: 15

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 12:47:55 PM

Qwerty Norris

Posts: 3143
Joined: 26/10/2005
From: Edinburgh

quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

Terrence Davies finds it hard to get a project off the ground in the British Film Industry, but Leigh Francis gets funding for a Keith Lemon film.

We truly live in a godless universe and I pray for the world to end on 21st December 2012.

Forgive the pun, but amen to that!

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Qwerty's Top 10 of 2013 (so far)

1. Zero Dark Thirty
2. No
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4. Good Vibrations
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8. Wreck-it Ralph
9. Shell
10. In The House

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Post #: 16

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 2:27:30 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Leigh Francis is about as funny as the Ebola virus.

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Post #: 17

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 2:34:17 PM

Shifty Bench

Posts: 14555
Joined: 30/9/2005

Chris, something tells me you don't like Leigh Francis but I can't quite put my finger on it......

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quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b
You have a nice face, Shifty. A face I would have a cup of tea with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porntrooper
Shifty said it best

(in reply to chris kilby)

Post #: 18

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 2:45:32 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Leigh Francis is about as funny as Ian Brady.

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Post #: 19

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 2:47:27 PM

Shifty Bench

Posts: 14555
Joined: 30/9/2005

Nope....still can't quite grasp.......

Something about his intestines?

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b
You have a nice face, Shifty. A face I would have a cup of tea with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porntrooper
Shifty said it best

(in reply to chris kilby)

Post #: 20

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 3:44:26 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Leigh Francis is about as funny as being mistaken for Salman Rushdie by your local al Qaeda sleeper cell.

(in reply to Shifty Bench)

Post #: 21

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 8:13:44 PM

Lucky Day

Posts: 851
Joined: 7/3/2012
From: Dundee

Leigh Francis greatly amuses me and I will likely quite enjoy this movie. Still, if everyone liked the same thing it would be an awfully boring world.

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Post #: 22

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 8:36:31 PM

MonsterCat

Posts: 6208
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire

With my last post it looked like I was condemning the film before seeing it, which I was in a way, and that totally goes against what I stand for.

But I just don't find Leigh Francis funny and I have very little interest in seeing this. For all I know it may well turn out to be one of the funniest flicks of the year, but I just don't care enough to find out. I mean, fuck, not even Kelly Brook will get me to watch this thing.

< Message edited by MonsterCat -- 26/8/2012 8:40:05 PM >

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Post #: 23

RE: Keith Lemon: The Film - 26/8/2012 9:14:24 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Leigh Francis is about as funny as an Ingmar Bergman retrospective... No, a Rob Schneider retrospective!

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Post #: 24

- 26/8/2012 10:06:50 PM

drstockd

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/8/2011

ITV THE MOVIE IN CINEMAS NOW!

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Post #: 25

Should be the first 0 star review! - 27/8/2012 7:38:14 PM

J_BUltimatum

Posts: 108
Joined: 20/1/2007
From: Edinburgh

Well it's just God awful! I was highly expecting this to be the first 0 star review in Empire history!!! (Just FYI I am FORCED to give this a rating!!)

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Post #: 26

Much like last year's Inbetweeners Movie... - 28/8/2012 12:38:16 AM

TheMightyBlackout

Posts: 90
Joined: 28/4/2012
From: Oxford, UK

...it's NOT A FILM.

I did laugh, albeit semi-regularly, and albeit often at the absurdity of what I was seeing rather than the jokes indicated in the script. This would have made a passable Christmas TV Special, but in its current format, it's really not acceptable.
When it's not beating you round the head with knob-jokes, it's baffling you with how little effort it's making to be A Film. And yes, I'm aware that this could indeed be the real joke here, but it's a joke that holds its own audience in absolute contempt.

Oh, and Kelly Brook's in it, if that's your thing. And trust me, LionsGate have distributed this with the sincere, desperate hope that "that's your thing".

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Post #: 27

RE: Much like last year's Inbetweeners Movie... - 28/8/2012 1:16:33 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Leigh Francis is about as funny as taking a shower in a Turkish prison.

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Post #: 28

RE: Much like last year's Inbetweeners Movie... - 28/8/2012 8:43:29 PM

vad3r

Posts: 4228
Joined: 3/9/2010
From: Close to Mod HQ

Alan Partridge doesn't get a film but Keith Lemon does. Leigh Francis, everyone involved in this film and everyone who finds him remotely humorous are *****.

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