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RE: Empire Employs Hacks - 15/8/2012 12:22:25 AM

Qwerty Norris

Posts: 3150
Joined: 26/10/2005
From: Edinburgh

As long as it's full of deliriously over the top (but not gory) violence & packed with laughably shit one-liners, that'll do me fine.

The first one was disappointing on that front, here's hoping a change in director & the new cast additions fix that.

_____________________________

Qwerty's Top 10 of 2013 (so far)

1. Zero Dark Thirty
2. No
3. In The Fog
4. Good Vibrations
5. McCullin
6. Beyond the Hills
7. The Place Beyond the Pines
8. Wreck-it Ralph
9. Shell
10. In The House

Post #: 31

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 12:37:35 AM

adambatman82

Posts: 11156
Joined: 15/12/2005
From: Sheffield

quote:

ORIGINAL: evilpickle4
I'm sure that if Stallone had made those films in Hungarian with French subtitles there would have been 5 stars all round. It seems the only surefire way to get a decent review from Empire.

Why on Earth would a Hungarian film have French subtitles?

Post #: 32

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 12:40:17 AM

Rgirvan44

Posts: 18902
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82

quote:

ORIGINAL: evilpickle4
I'm sure that if Stallone had made those films in Hungarian with French subtitles there would have been 5 stars all round. It seems the only surefire way to get a decent review from Empire.

Why on Earth would a Hungarian film have French subtitles?

If you need to ask that question then clearly you aren't smart enough for this website sir.

_____________________________

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

(in reply to adambatman82)

Post #: 33

RE: Yeah but...... - 15/8/2012 12:52:54 AM

Olaf

Posts: 23364
Joined: 26/2/2007
From: 41�N 93�W

quote:

ORIGINAL: UTB

I enjoyed the Little White Lies review (in conversation form): http://www.littlewhitelies.co.uk/theatrical-reviews/the-expendables-2-21492

"So, high points and low points?"

"The stenciling on their war vehicles was very good."

from the comments section -

*sheds tear for what might have been*#

No 2nd hand comments from banned members, particularly when you haven't edited out parts of the language please

< Message edited by elab49 -- 15/8/2012 1:04:00 AM >

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Post #: 34

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 12:56:08 AM

Rebel scum

Posts: 3027
Joined: 2/1/2006

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbobeckyj

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rebel scum

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbobeckyj

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rebel scum
The best way to get five stars from Empire is to, I dunno, make a good film?

Or just be a film made by Jackson, Whedon, Nolan, Spielberg, Coen, Boyle, Lucas, Abrams, Singer etc etc. They have all made films which get an extra star than they deserve. Empire reviews are far from impartial.

In your opinion. Everyone's entitled to one, but that doesn't make other ones wrong, even if they're published in a magazine. Star ratings are tricky buggers anyway, and the difference between, say, a high 3 and a low 4 is hard to define. I tend to go by the meat of the review as to whether or not to see it, and since the review for Expendables 2 confirms what I reckoned this film would be (Ie-Okay action mixed with crappy everything else) I won't be seeing it. If that's your thing, go for it, but that doesn't make the review wrong.

Well of course in my opinion, I didn't say it was anyone else's. And I didn't say theirs was wrong either, but you can't honestly deny that Empire are not often starstruck/blinded by their love of their favourite people.
Point being how many of these films deserve the rating they were given and have stood the test of time to be remembered and revered as a classic? -
King Kong
Cloverfield
Attack of the clones
Intolerable cruelty
Moulin Rouge
Or some 4 star -
War of the worlds
X-men
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

Those ones do, in my opinion. Cloverfield and Intolerable Cruelty onto got 4 stars by the way. Plenty of others are pushing it-I know Moulin Rouge and King Kong still have a vocal fanbase.

And everyone gets blinded by hype. Don't tell me you've never seen a film, thought it was awesome, then seen it later and realised it's not as good divorced from the buildup and excitement. I know I have.

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Post #: 35

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 1:10:41 AM

adambatman82

Posts: 11156
Joined: 15/12/2005
From: Sheffield

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82

quote:

ORIGINAL: evilpickle4
I'm sure that if Stallone had made those films in Hungarian with French subtitles there would have been 5 stars all round. It seems the only surefire way to get a decent review from Empire.

Why on Earth would a Hungarian film have French subtitles?

If you need to ask that question then clearly you aren't smart enough for this website sir.

My favourite bit is evilpickle's conviction in the idea that to get a decent review from Empire a film must be Hungarian and with French subtitles.

(in reply to Rgirvan44)

Post #: 36

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 1:18:17 AM

elab49

Posts: 51617
Joined: 1/10/2005

I'm trying to think of a Hungarian film with French subtitles. Unless there's a rogue Haneke out there I've got nothing.

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Post #: 37

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 1:26:28 AM

Qwerty Norris

Posts: 3150
Joined: 26/10/2005
From: Edinburgh

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

I'm trying to think of a Hungarian film with French subtitles. Unless there's a rogue Haneke out there I've got nothing.�

The Man From London?

Or is that cheating?

_____________________________

Qwerty's Top 10 of 2013 (so far)

1. Zero Dark Thirty
2. No
3. In The Fog
4. Good Vibrations
5. McCullin
6. Beyond the Hills
7. The Place Beyond the Pines
8. Wreck-it Ralph
9. Shell
10. In The House

(in reply to elab49)

Post #: 38

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 1:27:02 AM

Hood_Man

Posts: 11280
Joined: 30/9/2005

I've got a DVD copy of Enter the Dragon, dubbed in Mandarin, with no subtitles whatsoever. If anyone's interested to hear that...

(in reply to elab49)

Post #: 39

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 1:30:49 AM

MonsterCat

Posts: 6223
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire

Didn't Godard release a French language film with Native American subtitles or some such shit?

lol Godard reference in an Expendables thread. I'm such a hipster.

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Post #: 40

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 1:33:52 AM

elab49

Posts: 51617
Joined: 1/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Qwerty Norris

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

I'm trying to think of a Hungarian film with French subtitles. Unless there's a rogue Haneke out there I've got nothing.

The Man From London?

Or is that cheating?

I was wondering about Tarr but I'd not thought of Man From London (seems to keep slipping off my filmography). I think that probably would count. Assuming it meant a Hungarian film in French and Empire wouldn't be reviewing any film with French subtitles. So we can assume that was a slip of the tongue.

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=135864

3 Stars. So it's official - evilpickle is wrong, sadly

Sorry MC - Tarr is so much a cooler ref to go for.

< Message edited by elab49 -- 15/8/2012 1:34:46 AM >

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Post #: 41

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 1:53:05 AM

Deviation

Posts: 26908
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Enemies of Film HQ

They also gave three stars to Taxidermia, though that didn't have French subtitles, unless you didn't put that option on the dvd or saw it in France, because watching the film and the Magyar language wasn't bizarre enough.

Oh, Film Socialisme gained 3 stars too.

There goes that theory.

< Message edited by Deviation -- 15/8/2012 1:59:45 AM >

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dpp1978
There are certainly times where calling a person a cunt is not only reasonable, it is a gross understatement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49
I really wish I could go down to see Privates

(in reply to bbobeckyj)

Post #: 42

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 2:04:58 AM

Qwerty Norris

Posts: 3150
Joined: 26/10/2005
From: Edinburgh

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation

They also gave three stars to Taxidermia, though that didn't have French subtitles, unless you didn't put that option on the dvd or saw it in France, because watching the film and the Magyar language wasn't bizarre enough.

Yeah, don't remember that being in French. All I can remember really is some horribleness going on in a farm, at an eating contest & the other bit...obviously.

I do love the fact that hipster talk has taken over this thread.

(For now.....)

_____________________________

Qwerty's Top 10 of 2013 (so far)

1. Zero Dark Thirty
2. No
3. In The Fog
4. Good Vibrations
5. McCullin
6. Beyond the Hills
7. The Place Beyond the Pines
8. Wreck-it Ralph
9. Shell
10. In The House

(in reply to Deviation)

Post #: 43

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 2:08:13 AM

Deviation

Posts: 26908
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Enemies of Film HQ

I saw Bab Aziz yesterday, it was more enjoyable than The Expendables.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dpp1978
There are certainly times where calling a person a cunt is not only reasonable, it is a gross understatement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49
I really wish I could go down to see Privates

(in reply to Qwerty Norris)

Post #: 44

Whoever Smelt It, Dealt It! - 15/8/2012 9:46:43 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Why does Terry Crews always look like someone just farted?

(in reply to Empire Admin)

Post #: 45

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 9:50:45 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

Didn't Godard release a French language film with Native American subtitles or some such shit?

lol Godard reference in an Expendables thread. I'm such a hipster.

That's nuthin'. I have it on good authority that Bunuel was a big Van Damme fan - who isn't? And Bertrand Russell wrote a thesis on The Semiotics of Chuck Norris.

(I was going to make a glib remark here about Reifenstahl and Schwarzenegger, but my lawyer advised against it...)

< Message edited by chris kilby -- 15/8/2012 10:52:04 AM >

(in reply to MonsterCat)

Post #: 46

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 10:17:17 AM

UTB

Posts: 8982
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Qwerty Norris

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation

They also gave three stars to Taxidermia, though that didn't have French subtitles, unless you didn't put that option on the dvd or saw it in France, because watching the film and the Magyar language wasn't bizarre enough.

Yeah, don't remember that being in French. All I can remember really is some horribleness going on in a farm, at an eating contest & the other bit...obviously.

I do love the fact that hipster talk has taken over this thread.

(For now.....)

Taxidermia is immense. We should be talking about that rather than The Extendaballs

(in reply to Qwerty Norris)

Post #: 47

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 10:18:08 AM

clownfoot

Posts: 7739
Joined: 26/9/2005
From: The ickle town of Fuck, Austria

Isn't there a bit in Scott Pilgrim with a French speaking Hungarian, or am I imagining things again?

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Post #: 48

RE: Yeah but...... - 15/8/2012 10:22:50 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: jcthefirst

quote:

ORIGINAL: tallaght24

Ever since Empire gave 'Taken' just 1 star their opinion has counted for naught with me.

29 posts. Ding ding ding.

It was two stars, wasn't it? Good job it wasn't three or they'd have been hell to pay!

(in reply to jcthefirst)

Post #: 49

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 10:29:32 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: evilpickle4

I had a bet with a friend to predict Empire's review of this movie, and I'm sad to say that I won. 2 stars is pretty much the standard review score for a Stallone movie on this site. Rambo got 2 stars - I thought it was a high 3. And more importantly, Rocky Balboa got 3 stars!! How did THAT happen? It was at least a 4. I'm sure that if Stallone had made those films in Hungarian with French subtitles there would have been 5 stars all round. It seems the only surefire way to get a decent review from Empire. Disappointing, predictable and very lazy review.

Hmmm... An interesting hypothesis. I wonder what would happen then if Stallone starred in a film directed by Spielberg, Tarantino or Christopher Nolan - it could happen! EMPIRE would spontaneously combust, I expect. Either that, or a paradox of that magnitude would cause a tear in the fabric of the space-time continuum, precipitating the collapse of reality itself. So, all things considered, that's one phone call I hope good ol' Sly never answers...

(I didn't realise The World's Biggest Movie Magazine was so hot for Hungarian films with French subtitles - starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, presumably. Or is that Cashiers du Cinema you're thinking of?)

< Message edited by chris kilby -- 15/8/2012 10:32:48 AM >

Post #: 50

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 10:36:18 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

Yay we didn't even get one of these in the Dark Knight Rises threads.

Not yet we haven't...

(in reply to Rgirvan44)

Post #: 51

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 10:48:21 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: clownfoot

Isn't there a bit in Scott Pilgrim with a French speaking Hungarian, or am I imagining things again?

I have heard hushed whispers in the darkened corners of the internet of the epic, nay, legendary Scott Pilgrim V The Expendables flame war. Let me guess - irate, knuckle-dragging action fans took exception to the former getting more stars than the latter, yes...?

< Message edited by chris kilby -- 15/8/2012 10:49:08 AM >

(in reply to clownfoot)

Post #: 52

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 10:56:22 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Why does anyone care how many stars a film gets, up or down? It's just someone's opinion and who listens to what critics say anyway? If I like a film (OHMSS, say) I couldn't care less if no-one else does. But then, I'm not an Efangelist. Or a Fandamentalist - with the emphasis on mentalist.

< Message edited by chris kilby -- 15/8/2012 10:57:56 AM >

(in reply to chris kilby)

Post #: 53

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 10:59:18 AM

Rgirvan44

Posts: 18902
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

Why do you keep using words that no one else uses?

And what do they mean?

_____________________________

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

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Post #: 54

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 11:00:28 AM

AxlReznor

Posts: 1095
Joined: 2/12/2010
From: Great Britain

quote:

ORIGINAL: chris kilby

quote:

ORIGINAL: clownfoot

Isn't there a bit in Scott Pilgrim with a French speaking Hungarian, or am I imagining things again?

I have heard hushed whispers in the darkened corners of the internet of the epic, nay, legendary Scott Pilgrim V The Expendables flame war. Let me guess - irate, knuckle-dragging action fans took exception to the former getting more stars than the latter, yes...?

I wasn't there, but this sounds about right from what I've seen so far. I probably shouldn't mention it for fear of kicking it off again, but hell... Scott Pilgrim is a far superior movie that actually managed to succeed at what it wanted to do. And do it with a bit of originality. Whereas the only thing The Expendables had going for it was star power... and other than Jason Statham and Jet Li, it was waning star power at that.

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Post #: 55

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 11:12:12 AM

bbobeckyj

Posts: 18
Joined: 16/8/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rebel scum

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbobeckyj
Point being how many of these films deserve the rating they were given and have stood the test of time to be remembered and revered as a classic? -
King Kong
Cloverfield
Attack of the clones
Intolerable cruelty
Moulin Rouge
Or some 4 star -
War of the worlds
X-men
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

Those ones do, in my opinion. Cloverfield and Intolerable Cruelty onto got 4 stars by the way. Plenty of others are pushing it-I know Moulin Rouge and King Kong still have a vocal fanbase.

And everyone gets blinded by hype. Don't tell me you've never seen a film, thought it was awesome, then seen it later and realised it's not as good divorced from the buildup and excitement. I know I have.

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/5star/
Lists all of them, they're on there.
The Coens are a good example
O Brother, Where Art Thou?, 5, Intolerable cruelty, 5, The ladykillers, 3, Burn after reading, 4, all films with a similar tone, only the first and the last of those probably got the rating they deserve.
You can literally see them giving stars based on prior reviews, and not on merit, the middle two films are 2 star or 3 at best. As they actually said in the attack of the clones review- 'we gave the last one 4, so this being better must be a 5...' (which interestingly has now been downgraded to 3 stars) but in this case you can imagine them sitting in the office saying 'we gave the last one a 5 and this is not much worse, so lets give it a 3...'

(in reply to Rebel scum)

Post #: 56

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 11:20:42 AM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

Why do you keep using words that no one else uses?

And what do they mean?

That's what they said to Dr Johnson. Titty-bye, for now. I'm off to ablute my epidermal keratin filaments...

(in reply to Rgirvan44)

Post #: 57

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 12:16:38 PM

elab49

Posts: 51617
Joined: 1/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbobeckyj

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rebel scum

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbobeckyj
Point being how many of these films deserve the rating they were given and have stood the test of time to be remembered and revered as a classic? -
King Kong
Cloverfield
Attack of the clones
Intolerable cruelty
Moulin Rouge
Or some 4 star -
War of the worlds
X-men
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

Those ones do, in my opinion. Cloverfield and Intolerable Cruelty onto got 4 stars by the way. Plenty of others are pushing it-I know Moulin Rouge and King Kong still have a vocal fanbase.

And everyone gets blinded by hype. Don't tell me you've never seen a film, thought it was awesome, then seen it later and realised it's not as good divorced from the buildup and excitement. I know I have.

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/5star/
Lists all of them, they're on there.
The Coens are a good example
O Brother, Where Art Thou?, 5, Intolerable cruelty, 5, The ladykillers, 3, Burn after reading, 4, all films with a similar tone, only the first and the last of those probably got the rating they deserve.
You can literally see them giving stars based on prior reviews, and not on merit, the middle two films are 2 star or 3 at best. As they actually said in the attack of the clones review- 'we gave the last one 4, so this being better must be a 5...' (which interestingly has now been downgraded to 3 stars) but in this case you can imagine them sitting in the office saying 'we gave the last one a 5 and this is not much worse, so lets give it a 3...'

This is rubbish. Not a grey area - but rubbish. Did you read your link?

About 6 down from the top of your link - The Raid. 5 stars. Any Nolan or Coen in sight? No. Some long-standing revered director at all? No. Is it anything other than an all-out action movie? No.

So can we please can the dishonest attacks on the rating and admit just admit you just want to slam anyone who doesn't agree with your hope for how good the film will be?

For the rest - the film opens tomorrow so we can let this thread get back on topic and strictly avoid gratuitous reference to Canadian hipsters 'k?

< Message edited by elab49 -- 15/8/2012 12:22:36 PM >

_____________________________

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Films watched 2012

Annual Poll 2012 Countdown Started.

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Post #: 58

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 12:21:47 PM

jcthefirst

Posts: 4076
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: Bangor

quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82

quote:

ORIGINAL: evilpickle4
I'm sure that if Stallone had made those films in Hungarian with French subtitles there would have been 5 stars all round. It seems the only surefire way to get a decent review from Empire.

Why on Earth would a Hungarian film have French subtitles?

When this comes out on DVD, I'm tweaking the audio and subtitles to replicate this to see if it gets any better.

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Post #: 59

RE: The Predictables - 15/8/2012 12:22:38 PM

clownfoot

Posts: 7739
Joined: 26/9/2005
From: The ickle town of Fuck, Austria

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

For the rest - the film opens tomorrow so we can let this thread get back on topic and strictly avoid gratuitous reference to Canadian hipsters 'k?

He's a schmuck. Not a hipster...

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Post #: 60