What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film?

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What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 1:17:28 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live takes some beating:

I have come here to chew bubblegum and to kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum!

"You've got to be fucking kidding!"

(John Carpenter's The Thing)

Well now there's been an ERUPTION! Like facking Belfast on a bad night!

I've 'eard about sleeping partners but you're in a facking coma!

The Mafia - I've shit 'em!

Etc.

(The Long Good Friday)

I am a BULLET!

We'll be as popular as 'Itler.

Comical little geezer. You'll look funny when you're 50.

(James Fox to Mick Jagger in Performance - it's funny cos it was true!)

You must have shot a lot of tigers.

Yes, I used a machinegun.

Shorten the sleeves, love. I'm not a bleedin' gorilla.

(The Italian Job)

Hi, I'm Plenty.

But of courshe you are.

Plenty O'Toole.

Named after your father, perhapsh?

Tiffany, my dear. You're showing a bit more cheek than usual. What a pity. Such nice cheeks too. If only they were brains...

(Diamonds Are Forever)

Steady on there, Charlie. Let's get there in one piece.

It's like trackin' a cue ball!

Take this honkey out and waste him. NOW!

Waste? Is that a bad thing...?

It's just a hat, darling. Belonging to a small man of limited means who lost a fight with a chicken.

(Live and Let Die)

Do you know why the number 200 is so descriptive of me and you. It's your weight and my IQ, now think!

When I was five years old my father told me-

Get out!

No, before that. He said: 'Son, stocks and shares rise and fall, public utilities and transportation systems are subject to collapse, people are no damn good...

(Superman - the last three were written by The Great Tom Mankiwizc, possibly the wittiest scriptwriter who ever lived.)

I'm not getting in that shit heap

Buddy Holly's last words.

(The Commitments - Best. Swearing. EVER!)

< Message edited by chris kilby -- 8/8/2012 1:49:20 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 2:53:05 PM

Dannybohy

Posts: 944
Joined: 7/1/2009

Bryan: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. TAKEN 2008

Jor-El: Live as one of them, Kal-El, to discover where your strength and your power are needed. Always hold in your heart the pride of your special heritage. They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you... my only son. SUPERMAN 1978

Don Corleone: Bonasera, Bonasera, what have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, this scum who ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by some chance an honest man like yourself made enemies they would become my enemies. And then, they would fear you. GODFATHER 1972

Plain fecking awesome.

< Message edited by Dannybohy -- 8/8/2012 2:58:04 PM >

_____________________________

�If you hate Nolan I pity you'
-Anonymous Nolan fan

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Post #: 2

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 2:58:22 PM

horribleives

Posts: 4183
Joined: 12/6/2009
From: The North

Sal, is that you? I can hear you breathing, you fuck. You listening? Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks. You got that?

Oscar Wilde couldn't have put it better.

_____________________________

www.hollywoodunbound.co.uk - some nonsense about alien film directors and musclebound man-children.

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Post #: 3

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 3:03:16 PM

SwozTheRevenge

Posts: 221
Joined: 22/10/2010

The Way Of The Gun -

Bar Patron: Hey, hey. Yeah you, get up. What are you retarded? Get off the fucking car!
Raving Bitch: Hey dickless, get off the fucking car! Hey fucksuck, get your slippery fucking ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the fucking car with your fucking ass!
Parker: Shut that cunts mouth or I'll come over there and fuckstart her head

_____________________________

@ChairmanBLAOW

(in reply to horribleives)

Post #: 4

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 3:03:37 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Cos she's got a GREAT ASS! And you've got your head ALL THE WAY UP IT!

Jesus.

(Al Pacino - who else? - to a genuinely stunned Hank Azaria, Heat)

(in reply to horribleives)

Post #: 5

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 3:09:47 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Every. Single. Line of Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang. Most of the lines in The Last Boy Scout. And these aren't too shabby either:

MITCH HENNESSEY
Never make an assumption. Cos when you do you make an "ass" out of "U" and "umption."

NATHAN
Alice, please. Your dog, Alice. It and my appetite are mutually exclusive.

ALICE
Well, what's wrong with the dog?

NATHAN
Simple. He's been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention. I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good, or there to stay. Wouldn't you agree?

(Both from The Long Kiss Goodnight - Shane Black is a fecking genius. Roll on Iron Man 3!)

(in reply to chris kilby)

Post #: 6

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 3:14:09 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

DANTE
My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.

CUSTOMER
In a row...?

(Clerks)

(in reply to chris kilby)

Post #: 7

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 3:41:35 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
How tall are you, private?

Private Cowboy:
Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Five-foot-nine, Jesus Christ, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
What's your excuse?

Private Cowboy:
Sir, excuse for what, sir?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
I'm asking the fucking questions here, private! Do you understand?

Private Cowboy:
Sir, yes, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Well, thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?

Private Cowboy:
Sir, yes, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Are you shook up? Are you nervous?

Private Cowboy:
Sir, I am, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Do I make you nervous?

Private Cowboy:
Sir?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
"Sir" what? Were you about to call me an asshole?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Where the hell are you from anyway, private?

Private Cowboy:
Sir, Texas, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?

Private Cowboy:
Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Are you a peter puffer?

Private Cowboy:
Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
I bet you're the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing! I will PT you all until you fucking die! I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?

Private Cowboy:
Sir, no Sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I bet it was you!

Private Cowboy:
Sir, no Sir!

Private Joker:
Sir, I said it, Sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Well, no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker. I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister!

(Full Metal Jacket)

(in reply to chris kilby)

Post #: 8

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 4:31:14 PM

matty_b

Posts: 12862
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

A thread for positivity? How wonderful!

I'll try to think of more, but my first pick is one that works better in the context of the film than just written down, but is brilliant nonetheless. Taken from It's a Wonderful Life -

"Every man on that transport died. Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry. You see, George, you really had a wonderful life. Don't you see what a mistake it would be to throw it away?"

I just find that line, with all its ramifications and though-provoking possibilities, to be chilling and beautiful at the same time.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.

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Post #: 9

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 4:46:59 PM

st3veebee

Posts: 2354
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: 9303 Lyon Drive

John Hammond "All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked! "

Ian Malcom" Yeah, but, John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists"

***

Ian Malcom:" Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should. "

I love Jurassic Park

_____________________________

Latest Films:

Two days in New York: 4/5

Prometheus: 3.5/5

Abe Lincoln: VH 3/5

Twin Peaks: FWWM 3.5/5

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Post #: 10

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 8:43:31 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

"Ooh, ah... That's how it always starts. Then later there's running and... and screaming."

(I love Jeff Goldblum!)

< Message edited by chris kilby -- 8/8/2012 8:58:00 PM >

(in reply to st3veebee)

Post #: 11

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 8:52:39 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

A thread for positivity? How wonderful!

Um... That's why I started it. I went looking for a "Best Lines" thread and, er, couldn't find one. A damning indictment overwhelming online negativity? You tell me. It's certainly hard to deny that the negative threads seem to outnumber the positive. But that's t'internet for you. I'm a wide-eyed optimist me - always look on the bright side of life!

quote:

I'll try to think of more, but my first pick is one that works better in the context of the film than just written down, but is brilliant nonetheless. Taken from It's a Wonderful Life -

"Every man on that transport died. Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry. You see, George, you really had a wonderful life. Don't you see what a mistake it would be to throw it away?"

I just find that line, with all its ramifications and though-provoking possibilities, to be chilling and beautiful at the same time.

Wonderful. I cannot watch this film without welling up. Shamelessly manipulative, I know, but still deeply affecting - I defy anyone but the most brick-hearted to resist its pull. And the bleakest "feelgood" movie of all time.

< Message edited by chris kilby -- 8/8/2012 8:56:15 PM >

(in reply to matty_b)

Post #: 12

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 9:04:09 PM

homersimpson_esq

Posts: 19969
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield

"Since I am innocent of this crime, I find it decidedly inconvenient that the gun was never found."

_____________________________

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.

TREK WARS

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Post #: 13

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 9:20:13 PM

Lucky Day

Posts: 851
Joined: 7/3/2012
From: Dundee

Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! And you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk, down a fucking highway, and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
Neal: I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal: Oh boy, what?
Car Rental Agent: You're fucked!

_____________________________

Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds.

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Post #: 14

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 9:24:07 PM

matty_b

Posts: 12862
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chris kilby

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

A thread for positivity? How wonderful!

Um... That's why I started it. I went looking for a "Best Lines" thread and, er, couldn't find one. A damning indictment overwhelming online negativity? You tell me. It's certainly hard to deny that the negative threads seem to outnumber the positive. But that's t'internet for you. I'm a wide-eyed optimist me - always look on the bright side of life!

That probably sounded more snarky than intended. I'm genuinely happy that there's a positive thread to contribute to - so rare among the whinging.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.

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Post #: 15

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 9:30:08 PM

From_Hell

Posts: 1383
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: The foot of the MegaTree

Serenity: "I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar". Gives me goosebumps every time.

Or the lines from Man on Fire in my signature

_____________________________

"What are you gonna do?"

"What I do best. I'm gonna kill 'em. Anyone that was involved. Anybody who profited from it. Anybody who opens their eyes at me."

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Post #: 16

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 9:33:44 PM

chris kilby

Posts: 1189
Joined: 31/3/2010

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

quote:

ORIGINAL: chris kilby

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

A thread for positivity? How wonderful!

Um... That's why I started it. I went looking for a "Best Lines" thread and, er, couldn't find one. A damning indictment overwhelming online negativity? You tell me. It's certainly hard to deny that the negative threads seem to outnumber the positive. But that's t'internet for you. I'm a wide-eyed optimist me - always look on the bright side of life!

That probably sounded more snarky than intended. I'm genuinely happy that there's a positive thread to contribute to - so rare among the whinging.

I detected no snarkiness. I'm genuinely happy too as well as boundlessly enthusiastic. And I go out of my way to counter online whinging wherever I find it. It's kinda my mission in life - The Snark Knight Rises!

(in reply to matty_b)

Post #: 17

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 9:40:21 PM

Hood_Man

Posts: 11272
Joined: 30/9/2005

Yoda: Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.

Darth Vader: Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.

C-3PO: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1.
Han Solo: Never tell me the odds.

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)

Post #: 18

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 8/8/2012 10:51:15 PM

boaby

Posts: 2788
Joined: 29/12/2006
From: Aberdeenshire

Interviewer: What's your prediction for the fight?
Clubber Lang: Prediction?
Interviewer: Yes, prediction.
Clubber: *pauses* *looks to camera*... Pain.

Awesome.

_____________________________

"Aberdonians, and with some degree of purpose and right on their side, have absolute contempt for Glasgow. There is a side of Aberdonians who, let's be absolutely honest about this, feel so superior to Glasgow that you can measure it by the yard."

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Post #: 19

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 12:18:30 AM

DancingClown

Posts: 3564
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot

"These are the kind of windows that faces look in at!"

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Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

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Post #: 20

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 12:55:25 AM

Lazarus munkey

Posts: 1651
Joined: 20/3/2006
From: out of nowhere

"It's just... vowels!"

In the Loop

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"Because I got the answers"

Last 5 seen
Chronicle 4/5
The Amazing Spider-Man 3/5
Young Adult 4/5
21 Jump Street 4/5
The Apartment 5/5

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Post #: 21

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 2:48:27 AM

Whistler

Posts: 2276
Joined: 22/11/2006

"Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads..."

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Read my film reviews at Frame by Frame
Fast & Furious 6, Mud & more

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Post #: 22

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 3:28:26 AM

vad3r

Posts: 4229
Joined: 3/9/2010
From: Close to Mod HQ

Driver: ''Hey, you want a toothpick?''

From Drive

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Single Virgin

Mod Candidate 2013

quote:

ORIGINAL: horribleives
To paraphrase the great man himself:

Vad3r won't go anywhere near this.

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Post #: 23

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 4:10:58 AM

Sutty

Posts: 3540
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: the front row

Surrounded by Somali pirates and about ot go in battle, a mobile phone buzzes just as silence abounds...

Barney: "What's that?"

Christmas: "I'm getting a text..."

Barney: "Excuse me!?"

Always makes me laugh.

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Where there is darkness, light."

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Post #: 24

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 1:56:54 PM

Hood_Man

Posts: 11272
Joined: 30/9/2005

Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

Batman: I'll break you in two.

So threatening, it gives me chills

< Message edited by Hood_Man -- 9/8/2012 1:57:08 PM >

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Post #: 25

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 6:50:37 PM

garvielloken

Posts: 879
Joined: 23/10/2011

"My horoscope says I'm supposed to fuck you in the nose"

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You expect me to pay to ride this filthy contraption? Have you the brain worms?!

Methinks that in looking at things spiritual, we are too much like oysters observing the sun through the water, and thinking that thick water the thinnest of air

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Post #: 26

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 7:04:00 PM

Rebel scum

Posts: 3025
Joined: 2/1/2006

Probably missed loads of my favourites out, but here's a few.

"Can I get any of you cunts a drink?"-Shaun of the Dead

"I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."
"So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this work, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought."-The Fellowship of the Ring

"Ow! What was that for?"
"It doesn't matter, it's in the past!"
"Yeah, but it still hurts."
"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it."-The Lion King

"I'll kill him!"
"You don't really mean that you'll kill me, do you?"-12 Angry Men

"You see the hat? I am Mrs. Nesbitt!"-Toy Story

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Post #: 27

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 7:12:00 PM

Kilo_T_Mortal

Posts: 13521
Joined: 30/9/2005

On the batman theme:
"Then you're going to love me"

Also:
"I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me!"

also superman quote above.

but I'll put one I mentioned before down:

You're all gonna die. The only question is how you check out. Do you want it on your feet? Or on your fuckin' knees... begging? I ain't much for begging! Nobody ever gave me nothing! So I say fuck that thing! Let's fight it!

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he's ruining my buestiful threat!

"She must have known about all this before she let that grinning loon put his space-cock anywhere near her?"
horribleives

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Post #: 28

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 9/8/2012 9:46:05 PM

Lucky Day

Posts: 851
Joined: 7/3/2012
From: Dundee

"Damnit Derek, I'm a coal miner. Not a professional film or television actor"

"Die! You wage hiking scum !"

"I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid"

"I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much"

I could go on, but I would end up typing out the whole film

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Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds.

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Post #: 29

RE: What's The BEST Line of Dialogue In a Film? - 10/8/2012 2:39:50 AM

djdarrenjames

Posts: 623
Joined: 29/10/2008
From: There and back again

Redding:
Rehabilitated?
Well, now, let me see.
You know, I don't have any idea what
that means.

Parole Board Interviewer:
Uh, well, it means you're ready to
rejoin society --

Redding:
I know what you think it means, sonny.
To me, it's just a made up word, a
politician's word, so that young fellas
like yourself can wear a suit and a tie
and have a job. What do you really
wanna know? Am I sorry for what I did?

Parole Board Interviewer:
Well, are you?

Redding:
There's not a day goes by I don't feel
regret. Not because I'm in here, or
because you think I should. I look back
on the way I was then, a young, stupid
kid who committed that terrible crime.
I wanna talk to him. I wanna try to talk
some sense to him -- tell him the way
things are. But I can't. That kid's long
gone and this old man is all that's left.
I gotta live with that.
Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word.
So you go on and stamp your form, sonny,
and stop wasting my time. Because to tell
you the truth,
(Beat)
I don't give a shit.

_____________________________

This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode.

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Post #: 30