Register  |   Log In  |  
Sign up to our weekly newsletter    
Follow us on   
Forum Home Register for Free! Log In Moderator Tickets FAQ Users Online


Logged in as: Guest
  Printable Version
All Forums >> [Film Forums] >> Film Reviews >> Ted Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Ted - 25/7/2012 1:07:14 PM   
Empire Admin


Posts: 31667
Joined: 29/6/2005
Post your comments on this article
Post #: 1
Definitely the funniest film of the year - 25/7/2012 1:07:14 PM   


Posts: 22
Joined: 18/7/2012
The Family Guy crew have done it again. This time bringing back Mark Wahlberg along on their adventures and tales. Ted is definitely the standard of comedic filmmaking of this decade.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 2
Hilarious - 25/7/2012 3:56:55 PM   


Posts: 8
Joined: 27/4/2008
I knew from the very first line of Patrick Stewart narration that it'd be great

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 3
Hugely disappointing. - 25/7/2012 6:28:43 PM   


Posts: 57
Joined: 27/6/2006
4 Stars? 2, at best. One very thin joke, spread over an entire movie, with a painfully unfunny 'cult hero' cameo and a sudden swerve into melodrama towards the end. Why couldn't we just have the Stewie & Brian movie because this is just Peter Griffin in fur.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 4
Ted - 25/7/2012 10:45:19 PM   


Posts: 116
Joined: 30/4/2012
Highly offensive, but in a way that you can only laugh. Seth Macfarlane's film debut goes out with a bang as Ted is very well acted, well paced, and hilarious. Even with it's more serious moments, the film never loses it's audiences, although some parts do call for it.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 5
The funniest movie I've seen for years. - 26/7/2012 11:00:06 AM   


Posts: 532
Joined: 18/2/2008
There are many links to Macfarlane's Opus Grandus Family Guy (many you have mention, but you did leave the legend that is Patrick Wahburton and the score by fellow FM Walter Murphy. And having <cult film name deleted> running throughout just meant hearing Queens tune again, and I did wonder what happened to him (or her). Jokes are almost Family Guy/Airplane rapid, fantastic well rounded characters and superbly performed. I got a feeling we are seeing the start of Seth's domination of US comedy, like Judd Apatow before him.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 6
Well put together - 26/7/2012 2:49:15 PM   


Posts: 151
Joined: 1/7/2007
I love McFarlane's brand of humour...Good old fashioned R-rated comedy. A welcome break from Adam Sandler and Judd Apatow nonsense...

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 7
RE: Well put together - 26/7/2012 3:03:54 PM   


Posts: 3
Joined: 26/7/2012
Seth Macfarlane's film debut goes out with a bang as Ted is very well acted, well paced,[img][/img]

(in reply to ronniem)
Post #: 8
RE: Well put together - 31/7/2012 8:08:53 AM   

Posts: 654
Joined: 3/4/2012

I don't get how some films (mainly comedy) at times seem to take an old actor/franchise and completely flaunt him/it like product placement. In this film for some reason Seth MacFarlane has used Sam L. Jones of 'Flash Gordon' fame in what seems to be some kind of agreement to try and reboot his career. Well that's how it comes across to me anyway haha no other reason for him being there really. I'm guessing its in a typical 'Family Guy' style just to have random off the wall moments with cameos.

So Seth MacFarlane breaks into the movies with this 'Family Guy' orientated comedy. I say 'Family Guy' orientated because even though it has nothing to do with 'FG' the main character of 'Ted' sounds just like 'Brian' and 'Peter' from 'FG' (yes I know that's how MacFarlane sounds in reality), he wrote it with 'FG' writers, plus he utilizes 'FG' voice actress Mila Kunis also, so its home from home in a way.

I expected this to be totally downright funny and hilariously filthy, it was but not as much as I hoped for. Yes there are some grand bits of dialog that sound so cynical and sharp with MacFarlane's well spoken tones but they are few and far between.

Even the swearing isn't as cool as you would think. At first you think its gonna be awesome to finally here 'Peter' and 'Brian Griffin' use bad profanity but it wains fast. At first its highly effective but as time passes the novelty where's off. Its like a sexy sultry woman dressed in a tight skimpy revealing outfit, its amazingly hot and never fails to keep you excited. Then you see the same woman completely naked...straight away she no longer becomes as hot because all the mystery is gone, she's right there in the buff with nothing left to hide.

So in other words when we see 'Family Guy' without swearing its actually more effective than if it had swearing, because it makes you use your imagination and I think comes across funnier. It works for this film (at times) I'm just saying hearing MacFarlane swear wasn't as funny as I thought it would be (can anyone beat 'Cartman' in those stakes?). Hope you all get what I'm saying hehe.

As for the rest its kinda average really, nothing much happens in the film until the finale which does get a whole lot better. Kudos to Giovanni Ribisi with his excellent 'Norman Bates' style father character, easily the best thing to watch towards the end. The sequence where he is dancing in front of the TV to 'Tiffany' is creepy as fudge plus hilarious at the same time...yet I'm not sure why lol! I think it was the pelvic moves.

There are a few weirdly eerie moments in the film, probably down to the fact its based around a living teddy bear. The point where 'Ted' fights Wahlberg is kinda creepy in a disturbing horror type way. I reckon its suppose to be a take on the sequences in 'Family Guy' where 'Peter' fights that large chicken character (seems to use the same sound effects too). Was it suppose to be funny?!. Seeing 'Ted' having sex, being with hookers and dating hot women is also rather odd, why would a real woman wanna go out with a teddy bear?? Yes its a fantasy film but really?

Other than that it does satisfy to a degree, its just not as good as it could of been methinks. Ending was sweet but totally predictable lame fluff, Wahlberg was miscast in my opinion (the guy can't act, why does no one see this?!) and clearly MacFarlane has a 'Flash Gordon' fetish. He stuck Sam Jones in there why again? (looks good for his age though, can't deny that).

Sorry for comparing 'Family Guy' to this so much, hard not to really...oh and for typing it a alot too

(in reply to cooksgushi)
Post #: 9
Saw it last night - 1/8/2012 10:39:45 AM   


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/6/2011
Very funny, as with Family Guy its filled with pop culture references ie Sam Jones (who is in corporate security these days according to Google). Its not Woody Allen (like to see his version), but its not meant to be just a a funny movie which it is.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 10
RE: Saw it last night - 1/8/2012 5:39:07 PM   


Posts: 355
Joined: 23/6/2006
From the sheer hilarity of his animated sitcoms Family Guy, American Dad and The Cleveland Show, the multi-talented Seth MacFarlane has voiced very obscure characters from Stewie Griffin the evil baby genius, to Roger the self-centred bitchy alien. For his feature-length directorial debut of which he has been long in development, MacFarlane voices and mo-caps a pot-smoking, swear-tastic slacker of a teddy bear.

In 1985, lonely child John Bennett wishes his new Christmas gift, a large teddy bear named Ted, to come to life to be his best friend. The wish succeeds and Ted becomes the sensation of the media, but never forgetting his love towards John. Over twenty-five years later, John (Mark Wahlberg) and Ted (MacFarlane) are now living their lives, but still as immature as ever. However, as John is pursuing a four-year-long relationship with Lori (Mila Kunis), he must make the decision to either choose his girlfriend, or his teddy bear.

For those who are familiar with MacFarlane’s back catalogue, will feel right at home with Ted, as not only does it have crude and humorous moments, but it has all the elements of a classic Family Guy episode, such as the flashbacks, the references to classic movies (particularly Flash Gordon) and the usual insult towards a celebrity. However, unlike The Simpsons Movie which runs out of steam, Ted deserves its place on the big screen, even if it is a little too long.

Although Greg Mottola’s Paul came first to use motion capture for a comedy, MacFarlane steals the show as the eponymous teddy bear who does, at times, pushes the bar in terms of how crass he can get, whether it is constantly insulting his soulless store manager, or having sex with an employee, even with the lack of genitalia.

However, as much as there is a “bromance” between John and Ted, the relationship between John and Lori is just as important, because the former must learn to stop being a child with his teddy bear and become an adult. Having shown his comedic side from The Other Guys, Mark Wahlberg here is metaphorically playing a boy in a grownup’s body, to the point he is still afraid of thunder, and in his finest moment, he humourlessly sings really badly in a Norah Jones concert. Mila “Meg Griffin” Kunis is purely sympathetic as the girlfriend who is utter frustration with her boyfriend’s immature friendship.

Whilst it has its problem with length, Seth MacFarlane successfully transfers his sense of humour from the small screen to the big screen, with a terrific comedy about a talking teddy bear, which surprisingly has heart.

(in reply to Nickwantstowork)
Post #: 11
Funny as F**k - 2/8/2012 2:10:26 AM   


Posts: 28
Joined: 2/3/2010
Ted was absolutely hilarious.... Some fantastic one liners, one of the most memorable was "back off Susan Boyle". Just a quality movie about a teddy bear that everyone would want has a friend.... 4 star but would easily get a 5. Great debut for Seth !!!!! ps loved the Ryan Reynolds cameo !

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 12
Funny as hell! - 2/8/2012 3:41:33 PM   


Posts: 6
Joined: 27/6/2012
Couldn't stop smiling the whole way through. I don't think I've ever laughed more in a cinema.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 13
"flaunts all the verbal dexterity of a rapper. Go ... - 3/8/2012 7:04:55 AM   
darth statto

Posts: 31
Joined: 1/12/2005

You have to remember the Funky Bunch......

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 14
Not that funny - 3/8/2012 12:48:40 PM  1 votes


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/7/2009
From: Sheffield
This has to be the most generously reviewed film of the year. Once you get over the fact it's a teddy bear who says and does rude things there aren't actually that many jokes in it and it's attached to a quite dull rom com structure. Some good references to the 1980s but even there it's more wry smiles than belly laughs. Add an extra star if you've been drinking.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 15
Not that funny - 3/8/2012 12:48:42 PM   


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/7/2009
From: Sheffield
This has to be the most generously reviewed film of the year. Once you get over the fact it's a teddy bear who says and does rude things there aren't actually that many jokes in it and it's attached to a quite dull rom com structure. Some good references to the 1980s but even there it's more wry smiles than belly laughs. Add an extra star if you've been drinking.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 16
Abysmal. - 3/8/2012 1:13:41 PM  1 votes


Posts: 58
Joined: 5/3/2006
Nearly left the cinema after the turkey burger gag as was incensed. Why anyone would want to pay good money to watch two completely unlikeable and pathetic characters waste around is beyond me. About as funny as a sack of turds - maintaining the status quo then...

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 17
Not quite the laught fest I was expecting! - 4/8/2012 8:39:20 AM   


Posts: 103
Joined: 20/2/2009
Some reviews seem to give the impression that this is one killer line after another and as funny and laugh out loud as, say, Borat. Not quite. While there are some killer lines and laugh out loud moments, the morning showing I attended was strangely muted despite fairly good attendance.
While being familiar with Family Guy (and, indeed, liking Seth Macfarlane's creation) isn't compulsory to appreciate this, it helps, with more than a few nods to Family Guy and Pete Griffin.
What does surprise one about this film is there is more of a story that you actually expect out of a film like this, often a thread helps with Ted you actually get the feeling the story gets in the way of the humour at times.
Worth a watch but not 5 star material.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 18
Gleefully offensive - 4/8/2012 1:27:53 PM   


Posts: 151
Joined: 14/10/2009
...and surprisingly charming. Loved it!

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 19
RE: Gleefully offensive - 6/8/2012 9:20:13 AM   
Wild about Wilder

Posts: 1677
Joined: 9/4/2010
From: Hertfordshire
Worth it just for the Teddy Ruckspin bit. (for those old enough to remember him?)

(in reply to sephiroth7)
Post #: 20
RE: Gleefully offensive - 6/8/2012 11:47:27 AM   

Posts: 20064
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
I remember Teddy Ruxpin! Man, I loved that cartoon.


That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.

Bristol Bad Film Club
A place where movie fans can come and behold some of the most awful films ever put to celluloid.

(in reply to Wild about Wilder)
Post #: 21
RE: Ted - 6/8/2012 11:59:50 AM   

Posts: 7587
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire
Quite excited to be seeing this tomorrow.

I've seen the clip when Marky Mark is trying to guess the name of Ted's new girfriend and it's a brilliant little piece of comedic acting.


"I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you."

Films watched in 2013

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 22
RE: Ted - 6/8/2012 4:59:13 PM   


Posts: 2577
Joined: 6/9/2006
From: Sheffield
Loved it. Certainly the best comedy I've seen this year (although if I think about it, there haven't been that many comedies of note this year so far, has there?) and, although it does suffer a little toward the end, the number of gags that hit the mark far out number the ones that don't. As with Family Guy I just love the way they ignore the questions that people would ask about the talking bear (how does he smoke?! how does he drink?!) and they just get on with it. If you're not a fan of Macfarlane's previous work, this wont change your mind, but if you do like his stuff, you'll probably find a lot to enjoy in Ted. Patrick Stewart totally stole the show though.


"I've got an idea for a special infiltration technique. It involves draining a man of his blood and replacing it with Tizer."

(in reply to MonsterCat)
Post #: 23
RE: Ted - 6/8/2012 9:15:17 PM   
Dr Lenera


Posts: 4084
Joined: 19/10/2005
Thankfully not the one-joke film I expected, with a surprising amount of depth at times, and Mark Wahlberg actually gives a performance, though of course it's the perfectly paced laughs which dominate, including some genius funny lines. Almost beats The Dictator as funniest films of the year so far.


check out more of my reviews on

(in reply to porntrooper)
Post #: 24
Likeable but too many serious moments let it down... - 7/8/2012 1:22:04 AM   

Posts: 202
Joined: 25/5/2011
From: Kidderminster
It is difficult to dislike Ted with its charismatic cast and and enjoyable premise. However its not the laugh every minute comedy I was expecting. There are many huge chunks of purposefully serious character moments which whilst seem genuine enough sit awkwardly with the daft silliness of its humour. The jokes themselves are great but given the lack of frequency hilarious is perhaps too far.

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 25
RE: Likeable but too many serious moments let it down... - 7/8/2012 10:56:35 AM   

Posts: 4483
Joined: 12/3/2011
From: Space Dock
Takes a while to get going but once it does it quite fun. The Fight between Ted and Mark Wahlberg is priceless.


Trench: I'll be back.

Church: You've been back enough. I'll be back.


Trench: Yippee-ki-yay.

The Expendables 2 (2012)

(in reply to trainedasninja)
Post #: 26
RE: Ted - 7/8/2012 5:27:56 PM   

Posts: 14288
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

Quite excited to be seeing this tomorrow.

I've seen the clip when Marky Mark is trying to guess the name of Ted's new girfriend and it's a brilliant little piece of comedic acting.

Best scene in the film - sadly, it doesn't have much competition.



ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.

(in reply to MonsterCat)
Post #: 27
RE: Ted - 29/8/2012 4:51:11 PM   

Posts: 1603
Joined: 1/10/2005
funniest film of the year.
Also liked that Mila Kunis character wasn't potrayed as some shrewish girlfriend like these bromance movies tend to do. sure some of the jokes felt like they were lifted straight from family guy, but this is definatly it's own movie.


I am but an egg.

(in reply to matty_b)
Post #: 28
Vulgar, But Very Funny! (Hence The Four Stars.) - 31/8/2012 4:42:13 PM   


Posts: 30
Joined: 28/6/2012
Probably not as good as Hot Fuzz, but Ted has an excellent story, a good moral, a great range of talented actors and appropriate (Or Maybe Inappropriate!) jokes that makes this movie a solid, classic comedy!

< Message edited by SebMModerns -- 31/8/2012 4:44:39 PM >

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 29
Ted - okay film, not very good comedy (for me...obviously) - 12/9/2012 8:20:34 PM   


Posts: 1
Joined: 27/1/2010
From: Essex
‘Ted is the funniest film I have ever seen!’, ‘I have never laughed so hard in my life!’, ‘You’ve gotta see it! I guarantee it will, literally, have you rolling around in the aisles!’. These are just some of the things that I was hearing about the ‘comedy of the summer’ by the creator of the hit-anicom Family Guy, Seth MacFarlane: Ted. So, you can imagine that I went into the screening expecting to come out with a six pack from laughing so much. And did I? Nope. Did I laugh at all? A few times. Is it the comedy of the summer that will, literally, have you rolling in the aisles? No. For me anyway.

Don’t take from that first paragraph that I didn’t like the film, albeit it does seem like I have set the tone for the rest of the review. There are some funny moments in Ted, like the hooker’s dare, the fat kid running and the odd name-call, but other than that it was pretty laugh free. To be fair, my sense of humour is very specific, where the only thing that makes me howl with laughter is Larry David’s whinging and moaning Curb Your Enthusiasm. Maybe it’s my age. 18. Thanks for asking. But, that’s not to say I’d call Ted a bad film. Where it comes at its best is in the more dramatic moments, which make you feel moved. I, personally, think that MacFarlane actually does drama better than comedy, when he wants to make it moving, it will be moving. This is most evident in one of my favourite episodes of Family Guy, which (as fans will know) is Brian (the talking dog, if you don't know) offering to give away his kidneys to Peter, knowing that he will die if he does so. That episode bought me to tears, and not of laughter. One of the most moving moments in Ted is the separation between John and Ted, whom have been best friends for 27 years, which seems to have an echo of Toy Story (although I don’t seem to remember Andy and Woody singing the Thunder Buddies song).

But, I think it is Family Guy et al that is the problem here. Obviously, being the creator of Family Guy, American Dad and a bunch of other spin-offs (that have such low ratings, even Channel 5 are saying 'no thanks'), there is going to be an inevitability of an overbearing sense of these TV shows within the film. Now, most people would say ‘what’s wrong with that? Family Guy et al is funny’. Yes, it is funny, but why is it funny? Because of the cutaways? Because of the situations the characters get themselves into? Because of the stupidity of Peter Griffin? All those things, but primarily, what it all comes down to is the animation; the cute, furry and soft animation juxtaposed against the shocking things that the characters say and do. I can sense everyone disagreeing with me on that, but when you first saw Family Guy, 9/10 of you would have laughed with it for this reason. Now, in the matter of Ted, this is real-live action, with real people and real places, still with people saying shocking things, but without any of the cute animation to juxtapose it against. There is the odd bit of sweet music in the score and the whole point of Ted being a teddy bear is for this purpose, but after about 10 minuutes, you just see him as you would Mark Wahlberg or Mila Kunis (and if you don't, seeing him smoking pot will certainly disintegrate his cute image). The thing that I found most troublesome with Ted is the amount of swearing that was involved. I don’t have a problem with swearing at all, we all do it, in fact my second favourite film of all time is Scorsese’s Goodfellas, which famously has something like 300 ‘fucks’ in it, but swearing unnecessarily just doesn’t sit well, it doesn’t hit the ear right. Even in Family Guy, there is the odd bit of swearing, which again, is funny because of the cute animation blah blah blah, but here, it just feels too harsh. It’s like having vodka on its own – it tastes too strong, so you add a bit of coca cola to take the edge away and add a bit sweetness (which is what Family Guy does).

Ted isn’t a bad film, it’s just not a very good comedy (for me anyway).

< Message edited by APSmith507 -- 12/9/2012 8:31:04 PM >

(in reply to Empire Admin)
Post #: 30
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Film Forums] >> Film Reviews >> Ted Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:

New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts

Movie News  |  Empire Blog  |  Movie Reviews  |  Future Films  |  Features  |  Video Interviews  |  Image Gallery  |  Competitions  |  Forum  |  Magazine  |  Resources
Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.4.5 ANSI