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The Five-Year Engagement

 
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The Five-Year Engagement - 14/6/2012 11:53:48 PM   
Empire Admin

 

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Post your comments on this article
Post #: 1
- 14/6/2012 11:53:48 PM   
Kayotik

 

Posts: 114
Joined: 13/1/2012
From: Edinburgh
SPOILERS!!!

Come on Empire, would have expected better than to have put a massive spoiler into the review there!!

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Post #: 2
- 18/6/2012 2:57:36 AM   
homesick alien

 

Posts: 34
Joined: 14/5/2006
From: Telford, England
i second that. Bad form empire, bad form.

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Post #: 3
RE: - 18/6/2012 5:17:43 AM   
Evil_Bob


Posts: 2870
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From: GGGAAAHHH!!!
There are two reasons and two reasons alone why putting a spoiler into a review is FUCKING POINTLESS

1. The people who've seen the movie don't NEED to be told.
2. The people who havn't seen it don't WANT to be told.

Seeing as there are only two types of people in this world (ie people who havn't seen this movie and people who have) it therefore makes it FUCKING POINTLESS and you'd do well to remove this.

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Spoilers!!! - 18/6/2012 8:54:50 AM   
X Heart Tolle

 

Posts: 8
Joined: 14/1/2006
From: London
Wow! You blatantly spoilt this film for me. Please remove the last line of this review before you do the same anyone else.
And go sit on the naughty step whilst you're at it!!!

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Post #: 5
Just hate reviews that have spoilers in them... - 18/6/2012 10:23:30 AM   
paulferrer

 

Posts: 100
Joined: 6/10/2005
Its like when I saw The Sixth Sense months before it came out here a colleague told me that it was like Angel Heart (I hadn't seen Angel Heart told a friend this and then ruined the whole film for them)

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Post #: 6
why would you do that? - 18/6/2012 11:39:15 AM   
Richard Fi

 

Posts: 15
Joined: 13/8/2006
why the hell do you include SPOILERS in your reviews now? it was actually one of the reasons i quit buying at 16 years.

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Post #: 7
Spoilers - 18/6/2012 11:44:22 AM   
bdm5

 

Posts: 1
Joined: 29/4/2006
FFS Empire, I've already had to stop reading totalfilm reviews because they're so prone to spoilers. You're better than this

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Post #: 8
SPOILER ALERT!!!!! - 18/6/2012 12:39:12 PM   
Okester

 

Posts: 15
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Unbelievably poor form Simon Braund. Hang your head in shame......

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Post #: 9
DUDE!! - 18/6/2012 5:03:09 PM   
maffew


Posts: 2808
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: chester
I don't usually comment on reviews of films I've not seen, but when you RUIN THE END OF THE FILM in the review, I think it warrants it... You literally said what happens in the end!! Why? Why would you do that? I read the whole thing because I didn't think it was the kind of film that could be ruined by a review - but no, you just ruined it.

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RE: DUDE!! - 18/6/2012 5:29:52 PM   
OPEN YOUR EYES

 

Posts: 4364
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lol Empire and there spoilers.

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Post #: 11
WTF - 18/6/2012 7:22:45 PM   
Bennett30

 

Posts: 17
Joined: 24/3/2011
Why would you put that spoiler in. It's not inevitable that they break up and it most certainly isnt for you to tell us that. Bad, sloppy review here. il avoid the batman and spidey reviews just incase somebody drops a clanged on 2 of the summers most anticipated films.

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Post #: 12
WHAT - 18/6/2012 11:11:09 PM   
daston498

 

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/12/2010
Thanks very much Simon/Empire, an Apatow film that i was looking forward to seeing, ruined, with the single stroke of a keypad. Why is it inevitable? It isn't, i hadn't presumed either a break up or them finally getting married. Regardless, the filmed is essentially ruined. Everyone involved, congratulate yourselves on this absolute disaster.

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Post #: 13
Jesus Fucking Christ.... - 18/6/2012 11:45:56 PM   
Anita10

 

Posts: 2
Joined: 30/7/2008
From: Ireland
Thank you so much for ruining the end of the film for all your readers Simon! People come here to get an assessment of the quality of a film, not a summary of the entire plot! Was the last line of the review really necessary??

I stopped buying Empire magazine this year after having bought every issue since 1995 (17 years!!!) because of a severe dip in quality. It now looks like I won't be visiting the site anymore either.

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Post #: 14
Zero Respect for your Readers - 19/6/2012 1:52:56 PM   
Barry


Posts: 56
Joined: 30/9/2005
Posting a spoiler so central to the plot and the characters was just so unfair of you.

How are we meant to invest in this couple now since you told us what happens to them.

I am so disappointed in Empire for not having taken the spoiler down or apologising.

Very unfair and unprofessional.

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Post #: 15
Stupid fool! - 19/6/2012 3:53:42 PM   
cds1980

 

Posts: 1
Joined: 19/6/2012
As has already been said below, thanks for spoiling the film!

What I find more stupid is that since the comments below, Empire/Simon Braund haven't bothered to comment or even apologise!? Think I'll start reading reviews from elsewhere now!

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Post #: 16
RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 9:37:12 AM   
elab49


Posts: 54557
Joined: 1/10/2005
Implication of this post would be a spoiler given the comments above. Personally I don't think it is, but just in case.

Since this has headed to another thread as well.

The end of the review does not mean the end of the film. This is a 'romantic-comedy'. One of the tropes of a romantic comedy - and one which appears in virtually every Apatow 'rom-com' film because heaven knows he wouldn't want to be original - is the break-up/bust-up scene. Nearly every single one - the word 'inevitable' is referring to that rom-com plot move. Referring to one in the review simply means he thinks you give a damn about the characters when 'the inevitable' happens - because it is inevitable. It's a Hollywood rom-com. It's how they work. And I'm sure those of you going to see it this weekend will be able to come back and confirm that. Me - I can't stand Apatow, the reviews I've seen of this elsewhere suggest nothing new except nice leads so I read the Wiki plot.

IMO calling it a spoiler is either an excuse to hit Empire with a hammer over the head because it's fun or the person finding it shocking has never seen another rom-com or Apatow film. If it's the latter I'm sure Empire would be genuinely sorry - but once you've seen one structurally wise? You've pretty much seen them all, good and bad.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation] LIKE AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS TOO. IT MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND THOUGHT IT WAS WITTY. ALSO I FEEL SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. I KEEP AGREEING WITH ELAB.


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Post #: 17
RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 11:17:55 AM   
maffew


Posts: 2808
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: chester
quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

Implication of this post would be a spoiler given the comments above. Personally I don't think it is, but just in case.

Since this has headed to another thread as well.

The end of the review does not mean the end of the film. This is a 'romantic-comedy'. One of the tropes of a romantic comedy - and one which appears in virtually every Apatow 'rom-com' film because heaven knows he wouldn't want to be original - is the break-up/bust-up scene. Nearly every single one - the word 'inevitable' is referring to that rom-com plot move. Referring to one in the review simply means he thinks you give a damn about the characters when 'the inevitable' happens - because it is inevitable. It's a Hollywood rom-com. It's how they work. And I'm sure those of you going to see it this weekend will be able to come back and confirm that. Me - I can't stand Apatow, the reviews I've seen of this elsewhere suggest nothing new except nice leads so I read the Wiki plot.

IMO calling it a spoiler is either an excuse to hit Empire with a hammer over the head because it's fun or the person finding it shocking has never seen another rom-com or Apatow film. If it's the latter I'm sure Empire would be genuinely sorry - but once you've seen one structurally wise? You've pretty much seen them all, good and bad.



hmm.. I'm not sure about that, I specifically took it to mean that they break up and don't get married in the end.. It seems odd to refer to a point mid way through the film where they fall out and get back together.. I wouldn't say the couple in Knocked Up 'break up' they just have a fight and normal service is resumed..

< Message edited by maffew -- 20/6/2012 11:45:25 AM >


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RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 11:49:45 AM   
elab49


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Then with all due respect, you've assumed something that isn't what the review is saying. As I said - I checked. It's a fair comment on a film that it in his opinion it manages to achieve a connection between the audience and the characters and in the rom-com mill churned out of Hollywood it's a pretty considerable achievement, key to the rating of the film and deserving of highlighting the comment as a summary of the view of a film. Which is what the reviewer did.

Indeed, the very fact that Empire DIDN'T tag it as a spoiler should have made to clear that it wasn't telling you how the film ends.

Spoilers for Knocked Up


They get in an argument over the other couple, people get chucked out of cars and they break up - I've confirmed this in the plot synopsis on Wiki too as I couldn't stand the film and haven't rewatched since the original viewing.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation] LIKE AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS TOO. IT MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND THOUGHT IT WAS WITTY. ALSO I FEEL SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. I KEEP AGREEING WITH ELAB.


Annual Poll 2013 - All Lists Welcome

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Post #: 19
RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 12:02:06 PM   
Dirk Miggler


Posts: 1106
Joined: 14/1/2009
It's still a key event in the film that some people probably didn't want or even need to know before going in and implying it isn't a spoiler is as big a spoiler IMO. Will they won't they is a big element of the genre.

Did the reviewer need to put it in, no, it's a pefectly well written review regardless, it doesn't really add anything to the review other than implying that the film indeed does fall into the old Rom-com cliche's and to be fair he could have emphasised that without having to bring up that scene.

< Message edited by Dirk Miggler -- 20/6/2012 1:32:26 PM >

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Post #: 20
RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 12:18:28 PM   
elab49


Posts: 54557
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That's, IMO, nitpicking to the nth degree and is really assuming a certain level of dumbness in the reader. It is entirely reasonable to assume that readers of the review aren't idiots who've never seen a romcom before. I'll go out on a limb and say 99% if not more of romcoms have this scene (some more than once). It's the standard genre cliche for creating tension.

Sure, if you've never ever in your life seen a romcom it might be a bit of a surprise - but that's pretty unlikely. And I think the extrapolation of your comment is that no reviewer can ever specifically refer to any scene which, to me, is an excessive limitation to reviews.




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quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation] LIKE AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS TOO. IT MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND THOUGHT IT WAS WITTY. ALSO I FEEL SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. I KEEP AGREEING WITH ELAB.


Annual Poll 2013 - All Lists Welcome

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RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 12:47:16 PM   
shool


Posts: 10049
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From: In The Pipe, Five by Five.
I have to say I'm with elab here. Its obviously going to be the standard last third of the movie break up scene which you get in every single type of this movie before every thing gets reconciled and resolved in the end.

I would put money on that not being a spoiler to the end of the film.

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RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 12:52:45 PM   
rawlinson

 

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Yep. It's one of the most obvious cliches associated with the rom-com. It adds the drama.

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Post #: 23
RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 3:08:08 PM   
Dirk Miggler


Posts: 1106
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quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

That's, IMO, nitpicking to the nth degree and is really assuming a certain level of dumbness in the reader. It is entirely reasonable to assume that readers of the review aren't idiots who've never seen a romcom before. I'll go out on a limb and say 99% if not more of romcoms have this scene (some more than once). It's the standard genre cliche for creating tension.

Sure, if you've never ever in your life seen a romcom it might be a bit of a surprise - but that's pretty unlikely. And I think the extrapolation of your comment is that no reviewer can ever specifically refer to any scene which, to me, is an excessive limitation to reviews.





I get what your sayin completeley about the cliches of the genre and what not but to be fair we wouldn't be having the conversation or have peole complaining if it wasn't in there, which I dont think it needed to be to emphasise his point.

To suggest that I think no reviewer can mention any scene is a pretty ridiculous assumption, I just feel it wasn't necessary here regardless if we know it's coming or not. Whether it's a surprise or not basically comes down to how well we connect to the characters involved, it is still possible to get sucked in and swept away with what's going on, even in a rom-com and if I do I would then probably rather like to think I don't have an idea of what's going to happen.

< Message edited by Dirk Miggler -- 20/6/2012 3:12:49 PM >

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Post #: 24
RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 3:26:04 PM   
elab49


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I know it's ridiculous, and fair enough my extrapolation was extreme. But I think the conversation in here happened because people misread the review and have assumed he's spoiled the end of the film. Which he hasn't. Had that been the end, there would have been a spoiler note on the review, and it's a bit unfair they didn't consider that Empire would be decent enough to do that (which they normally get right IMO).

So it's just a reference to a scene that it's in virtually every single rom-com ever made (I'm getting more definite with my percentages here), but that reference happens to have been made at the close of the review.





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Lips Together and Blow - blogtasticness and Glasgow Film Festival GFF13!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation] LIKE AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS TOO. IT MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND THOUGHT IT WAS WITTY. ALSO I FEEL SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. I KEEP AGREEING WITH ELAB.


Annual Poll 2013 - All Lists Welcome

(in reply to Dirk Miggler)
Post #: 25
RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 11:47:02 PM   
Evil_Bob


Posts: 2870
Joined: 1/5/2006
From: GGGAAAHHH!!!
I've already made my point on that other thread but Its clear you still don't understand that many of us don't want to just presume that every rom-com will stick to the exact same formula. That we don't like going into films with preconceptions that other films in their genre have laid on us. Plus taking the fact that you havn't seen the film into account (I'm presuming as it clearly doesn't seem to be your type of film, being so cynical about its plot n' all) its hardly fair for you to presume that you're correct in how you interpret the review and that we're wrong.

Maybe the part in the review that we're taking exception to has been misread. By all of us.
Surely thats an indication that it should be re-worded.

Also as I said before the tone of your mails rankle even more taking into account that they're coming from somebody who, while not actually working for Empire, represents them to a certain degree so the attitude to (lets call us) customers concerns is pretty lousy.

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Post #: 26
RE: Stupid fool! - 20/6/2012 11:54:42 PM   
elab49


Posts: 54557
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As I said above - I read the full synopsis of the film before posting, so I wasn't making assumptions. It's also why I added a slight spoiler warning to allow others the option of choosing the read the post.




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Lips Together and Blow - blogtasticness and Glasgow Film Festival GFF13!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation] LIKE AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS TOO. IT MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND THOUGHT IT WAS WITTY. ALSO I FEEL SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. I KEEP AGREEING WITH ELAB.


Annual Poll 2013 - All Lists Welcome

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Post #: 27
RE: The Five-Year Engagement - 21/6/2012 12:24:48 AM   
MonsterCat


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From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire
EDIT - Should have read the review before jumping in with my post.

< Message edited by MonsterCat -- 21/6/2012 12:35:05 AM >


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RE: Stupid fool! - 21/6/2012 12:25:12 AM   
Evil_Bob


Posts: 2870
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From: GGGAAAHHH!!!
So the review should have a disclaimer to come here and read your posts before reading the review or to come here after the review to clarify that what they read wasn't actually what they read?

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Post #: 29
RE: Stupid fool! - 21/6/2012 1:06:00 AM   
Dirk Miggler


Posts: 1106
Joined: 14/1/2009
Spoilers

My last point on this. I understand that the reviewer is just trying emphasise how he cared for the characters and I don't think he's that stupid to write the end of the film in his review. Letting us know it does happen however and in doing so implying that the film does inevitably fall into the genre cliches coupled with everyone banging the drum that it isn't really spoiler only makes it more obvious that they do "get there" in the end. So yeah the film is spoiled....... I think.

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Post #: 30
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