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RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:39:29 PM

matty_b

Posts: 12856
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jace007

@ Helen O: Back in the days of Empire, when those reviewers gave a higher rating, it did feel like gospel and most of the time, they were spot-on. But nowadays, it seems your finest will poo-poo a highly anticipated project, simply because it didn't live up to your expectations. Ridley Scott is no fool and did well to avoid the obvious questions, he's a master. But look at The Dark Knight Rises: Any bets that whoever draws the short straw will give it 5/5 stars, simply because it's Chris Nolan?? (And I love the guy by the way!) I feel Empire's reviewers have taken the fun out of appreciating movies, with some exceptions like The Raid, which did deserve its 5 star rating.

So Empire give 'poor' ratings for films that don't meet expectations? Er...

But then they'll give 'good' ratings to people they like (because we all know that they hate Ridley Scott).

Except when they get the ratings right. In which case...they're right.

So much logic here, it's astonishing.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.

(in reply to jace007)

Post #: 241

RE: Terrible review - 31/5/2012 6:41:51 PM

Filmfan 2

Posts: 972
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Helen OHara
. The only change made to the review after publication was the (swift) application of a spoiler warning for sensitive souls. We do these in the case of big films that people are all hyped about because that's where people tend to be hugely spoiler-sensitive; for the record, Ian himself doesn't think there are any spoilers in the review and certainly there are huge swathes of plot not addressed for just that reason.

If that's the case, Helen, then it's a recent innovation. I've read a number of reviews in the past that contained a pretty big spoiler here or there (and please don't ask me to cite them, as I can't remember and it was a little while back). It's bloody awful when it happens, like when a major hitherto-unknown-plot-point is revealed, or a character's fate discussed.

< Message edited by Filmfan 2 -- 31/5/2012 6:43:01 PM >

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Post #: 242

RE: What the hell Empire?! - 31/5/2012 6:42:25 PM

pete_traynor

Posts: 2873
Joined: 28/11/2006
From: Balboa Towers, Balboa Island, CA

Critics thought Bladerunner was White upon release.

They're just people scrambling for web traffic at the end of the day.

Go to cinema
Buy ticket
Open eyes
Draw own conclusion

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Post #: 243

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:44:27 PM

Rgirvan44

Posts: 18882
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

I think you guys are hyping yourselves up for disappointment, this thread ain't that crazy.

I dunno....this page has taken a turn into crazytown!

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It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

(in reply to Hood_Man)

Post #: 244

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:48:31 PM

Hood_Man

Posts: 11271
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: jace007

@ Helen O: Back in the days of Empire, when those reviewers gave a higher rating, it did feel like gospel and most of the time, they were spot-on. But nowadays, it seems your finest will poo-poo a highly anticipated project, simply because it didn't live up to your expectations. Ridley Scott is no fool and did well to avoid the obvious questions, he's a master. But look at The Dark Knight Rises: Any bets that whoever draws the short straw will give it 5/5 stars, simply because it's Chris Nolan?? (And I love the guy by the way!) I feel Empire's reviewers have taken the fun out of appreciating movies, with some exceptions like The Raid, which did deserve its 5 star rating.

http://i.imgur.com/ZyEs3.gif

< Message edited by Hood_Man -- 31/5/2012 6:49:02 PM >

(in reply to jace007)

Post #: 245

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:50:18 PM

Whistler

Posts: 2274
Joined: 22/11/2006

quote:

ORIGINAL: jace007

I don't troll, uh-uh. Empire's guilty of that crime.

_____________________________

"And my straw reaches acrooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake. I...drink...your...milkshake!"

Read my film reviews at Frame by Frame
Mud, ST Into Darkness & more

(in reply to jace007)

Post #: 246

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:50:36 PM

Spaldron

Posts: 10487
Joined: 6/10/2006
From: Chair

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

I think you guys are hyping yourselves up for disappointment, this thread ain't that crazy.

I dunno....this page has taken a turn into crazytown!

They've even turned against the Empire staff. Its a mutiny!!!!

_____________________________

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts
And I looked and behold, a pale horse
And his name that sat on him was Death
And Hell followed with him.

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Post #: 247

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:51:04 PM

rawlinson

Posts: 40176
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

quote:

ORIGINAL: jace007

@ Helen O: Back in the days of Empire, when those reviewers gave a higher rating, it did feel like gospel and most of the time, they were spot-on. But nowadays, it seems your finest will poo-poo a highly anticipated project, simply because it didn't live up to your expectations. Ridley Scott is no fool and did well to avoid the obvious questions, he's a master. But look at The Dark Knight Rises: Any bets that whoever draws the short straw will give it 5/5 stars, simply because it's Chris Nolan?? (And I love the guy by the way!) I feel Empire's reviewers have taken the fun out of appreciating movies, with some exceptions like The Raid, which did deserve its 5 star rating.

So Empire give 'poor' ratings for films that don't meet expectations? Er...

But then they'll give 'good' ratings to people they like (because we all know that they hate Ridley Scott).

Except when they get the ratings right. In which case...they're right.

So much logic here, it's astonishing.

It can basically be summed up as

PEOPLEHAVEDIFFERENTOPINIONSTOMERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

I would plough my way through MonsterCat

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

I desire MonsterCat to go down on me.

(in reply to matty_b)

Post #: 248

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:51:22 PM

Spaldron

Posts: 10487
Joined: 6/10/2006
From: Chair

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

http://i.imgur.com/ZyEs3.gif

_____________________________

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts
And I looked and behold, a pale horse
And his name that sat on him was Death
And Hell followed with him.

(in reply to Hood_Man)

Post #: 249

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:53:02 PM

Hood_Man

Posts: 11271
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

I think you guys are hyping yourselves up for disappointment, this thread ain't that crazy.

I dunno....this page has taken a turn into crazytown!

They've even turned against the Empire staff. Its a mutiny!!!!

I think I've turned up at just the right time

http://cache.blippitt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Popcorn-09-Psych.gif

(in reply to Spaldron)

Post #: 250

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:57:53 PM

Whistler

Posts: 2274
Joined: 22/11/2006

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

I think you guys are hyping yourselves up for disappointment, this thread ain't that crazy.

I dunno....this page has taken a turn into crazytown!

They've even turned against the Empire staff. Its a mutiny!!!!

I think I've turned up at just the right time

http://cache.blippitt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Popcorn-09-Psych.gif

Hood, both of your last gifs made me piss myself.

_____________________________

"And my straw reaches acrooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake. I...drink...your...milkshake!"

Read my film reviews at Frame by Frame
Mud, ST Into Darkness & more

(in reply to Hood_Man)

Post #: 251

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 6:59:26 PM

Spaldron

Posts: 10487
Joined: 6/10/2006
From: Chair

Cant wait till December, seeing as Empire gave every LOTR film five stars which means if they give The Hobbit any less, there's going to be a fucking war!

_____________________________

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts
And I looked and behold, a pale horse
And his name that sat on him was Death
And Hell followed with him.

(in reply to Whistler)

Post #: 252

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 7:04:10 PM

OPEN YOUR EYES

Posts: 3463
Joined: 5/2/2012
From: Living on Lynch's quiff

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whistler

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

I think you guys are hyping yourselves up for disappointment, this thread ain't that crazy.

I dunno....this page has taken a turn into crazytown!

They've even turned against the Empire staff. Its a mutiny!!!!

I think I've turned up at just the right time

http://cache.blippitt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Popcorn-09-Psych.gif

Hood, both of your last gifs made me piss myself.

err

http://i.imgur.com/fOwdC.gif

_____________________________

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Post #: 253

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 7:04:38 PM

Dirk Miggler

Posts: 823
Joined: 14/1/2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron

Cant wait till December, seeing as Empire gave every LOTR film five stars which means if they give The Hobbit any less, there's going to be a fucking war!

You know it ! And DKR, if that gets anything les than 4 stars its gonna go off big time !

(in reply to Spaldron)

Post #: 254

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 7:06:07 PM

Whistler

Posts: 2274
Joined: 22/11/2006

quote:

ORIGINAL: OPEN YOUR EYES

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whistler

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

I think you guys are hyping yourselves up for disappointment, this thread ain't that crazy.

I dunno....this page has taken a turn into crazytown!

They've even turned against the Empire staff. Its a mutiny!!!!

I think I've turned up at just the right time

http://cache.blippitt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Popcorn-09-Psych.gif

Hood, both of your last gifs made me piss myself.

err
http://i.imgur.com/fOwdC.gif

Well, I didn't mean literally. Or maybe I did...

_____________________________

"And my straw reaches acrooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake. I...drink...your...milkshake!"

Read my film reviews at Frame by Frame
Mud, ST Into Darkness & more

(in reply to OPEN YOUR EYES)

Post #: 255

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 7:07:11 PM

Hood_Man

Posts: 11271
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron

Cant wait till December, seeing as Empire gave every LOTR film five stars which means if they give The Hobbit any less, there's going to be a fucking war!

Looking forward to it:

http://i46.tinypic.com/25yy8mf.jpg

(in reply to Spaldron)

Post #: 256

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 7:14:30 PM

Spaldron

Posts: 10487
Joined: 6/10/2006
From: Chair

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron

Cant wait till December, seeing as Empire gave every LOTR film five stars which means if they give The Hobbit any less, there's going to be a fucking war!

Looking forward to it:

http://i46.tinypic.com/25yy8mf.jpg

Ha, where you finding these gifs? Im stealing that one.

_____________________________

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts
And I looked and behold, a pale horse
And his name that sat on him was Death
And Hell followed with him.

(in reply to Hood_Man)

Post #: 257

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 7:17:36 PM

OPEN YOUR EYES

Posts: 3463
Joined: 5/2/2012
From: Living on Lynch's quiff

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron

Cant wait till December, seeing as Empire gave every LOTR film five stars which means if they give The Hobbit any less, there's going to be a fucking war!

War makes me sad

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2nkhqNzM01qzogo3.gif

< Message edited by OPEN YOUR EYES -- 31/5/2012 7:18:22 PM >

_____________________________

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Post #: 258

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 7:43:23 PM

Rgirvan44

Posts: 18882
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

Question to all the people moaning about past Empire reviews. Tell me - do you have perfect taste? Should we be listening to what you like/don't like? What makes you think your views are more worthy of attention?

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It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

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Post #: 259

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 7:46:35 PM

clownfoot

Posts: 7736
Joined: 26/9/2005
From: The ickle town of Fuck, Austria

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

Question to all the people moaning about past Empire reviews. Tell me - do you have perfect taste? Should we be listening to what you like/don't like? What makes you think your views are more worthy of attention?

I think everyone should be watching Evil Dead 2. That's perfect taste, innit...

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Post #: 260

RE: Knock, knock! Who's there? Empire? Empire who? - 31/5/2012 7:47:41 PM

Rgirvan44

Posts: 18882
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

quote:

ORIGINAL: clownfoot

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

Question to all the people moaning about past Empire reviews. Tell me - do you have perfect taste? Should we be listening to what you like/don't like? What makes you think your views are more worthy of attention?

I think everyone should be watching Evil Dead 2. That's perfect taste, innit...

I am not sure - you don't happen to have a review to hand do you sir?

_____________________________

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

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Post #: 261

RE: Terrible review - 31/5/2012 7:49:39 PM

Jaybee79

Posts: 49
Joined: 2/11/2005

Ignore. Posted in error

< Message edited by Jaybee79 -- 31/5/2012 7:52:35 PM >

(in reply to Helen OHara)

Post #: 262

RE: Remember Crystal Skull's 4 star review from these J... - 31/5/2012 7:56:01 PM

elab49

Posts: 51565
Joined: 1/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: agent cooper

Seriously I can't take their reviews seriously after that pile of shite getting past their radar and also Superman Returns getting 5 stars but not Casino Royale, I'm not saying that either film deserved but CR was a far more impressive reboot, whether Skyfall will get the 5 star treatment who knows, they should have awarded QOS 3 stars but for some reason Kim Newman gave it 4. I'm still going to see it, Total Film have given this 4 so who knows, the proof is in the pudding but cinema tickets aren't exactly cheap these days.

Whose reviews? Did the same person review all the films you mention?

quote:

they should have awarded QOS 3 stars but for some reason Kim Newman gave it 4.

Maybe Kim should come round to your house to tell you why your opinion is wrong too.

It's only a rating and people don't all like the same films in the same way. I still say we should post this in flashing neon at the top of every review thread for people who don't get this whole opinion lark. People might disagree with you on Superman Returns but it doesn't (and shouldn't) change the opinion you've formed on it. It might inform it further - but it's still your opinion.

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Films watched 2012

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Post #: 263

RE: WTF? - 31/5/2012 7:58:21 PM

Scruffybobby

Posts: 4021
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: My House

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkhart

What a totally useless review! You completely slate the film then give it 3stars. Clearly Empire critics cannot operate under their own grading system so maybe it's time you opted for the IMBD 10star system to clarify your opinions (although frankly most of your reviews arn't worthy of 1star).

awww diddums

http://i48.tinypic.com/33xhvl1.jpg

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49 (via Gizoogle)

Gentleman, please - could our crazy-ass asses leave dis thread ta gangstas wantin ta say shit bout a funky-ass bad film?

Post #: 264

RE: WTF? - 31/5/2012 7:58:45 PM

elab49

Posts: 51565
Joined: 1/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkhart

What a totally useless review! You completely slate the film then give it 3stars. Clearly Empire critics cannot operate under their own grading system so maybe it's time you opted for the IMBD 10star system to clarify your opinions (although frankly most of your reviews arn't worthy of 1star).

As has been gone into quite extensively above, as I'm sure you've read, it's entirely reasonable for a critic to consider his words quite carefully when given a middling rating to a film that is highly anticipated. This may mean the focus is on the reason for the lower star rating at the expense of a more positive review - getting the defence in early so to speak. Some of the idiocy in this thread should clearly demonstrate why that approach might be taken.

If he'd focussed solely on those areas he'd enjoyed and given it a 3, the complaints in this thread would have been entirely different, and no more valid.

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Films watched 2012

What are your top 10/25 films of 2012? Vote in the forum Annual Poll now! Deadline is Sunday.

Post #: 265

RE: WTF? - 31/5/2012 8:07:20 PM

7eke

Posts: 125
Joined: 21/7/2007

What would be cool is if Empire entertained the idea of having other members of their reviewing team giving their opinions after the initial review. Would give a nice balance. I enjoy reading the reviews, its my favourite part of the mag. My opinions on films are often more inline with certain reviewers and when a film im looking forward to isn't reviewed by one of them i'd love to hear their thoughts too.

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Post #: 266

RE: WTF? - 31/5/2012 8:07:22 PM

drews

Posts: 270
Joined: 5/10/2005
From: Wimbledon Centre Court

Hey, what film is this thread about?

Can't remember anymore!!!!

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Post #: 267

RE: WTF? - 31/5/2012 8:10:17 PM

UTB

Posts: 8969
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: 7eke

What would be cool is if Empire entertained the idea of having other members of their reviewing team giving their opinions after the initial review. Would give a nice balance. I enjoy reading the reviews, its my favourite part of the mag. My opinions on films are often more inline with certain reviewers and when a film im looking forward to isn't reviewed by one of them i'd love to hear their thoughts too.

Wouldn't it be great if they all did and rated it two stars!

(in reply to 7eke)

Post #: 268

RE: WTF? - 31/5/2012 8:11:45 PM

Harry Tuttle

Posts: 7497
Joined: 12/11/2005
From: Sometime in the future.

quote:

ORIGINAL: 7eke

What would be cool is if Empire entertained the idea of having other members of their reviewing team giving their opinions after the initial review. Would give a nice balance. I enjoy reading the reviews, its my favourite part of the mag. My opinions on films are often more inline with certain reviewers and when a film im looking forward to isn't reviewed by one of them i'd love to hear their thoughts too.

I remember suggesting this on the old, old forums and got ridiculed by Chris Hewitt for it at the time. I remember an old computer mag I used to buy (Amstrad Action) having a Second Opinion section on all their major reviews. I thought it worked quite well having opposing (or sometimes corroborating) opinions when trying to make up your mind on a purchase. I'm sure it's something IGN dabbled with not too long ago as well.

Having said that though it would just give a lot of the commenters here two different people to direct their ire towards.

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Post #: 269

RE: WTF? - 31/5/2012 8:12:32 PM

elab49

Posts: 51565
Joined: 1/10/2005

Don't the DVD reviews often come from other members of the reviewing team?

I wonder if they'd worry that doing it at this point would be pushing it towards group reviewing? And timingwise, would they all go to the press screening?

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Films watched 2012

What are your top 10/25 films of 2012? Vote in the forum Annual Poll now! Deadline is Sunday.

(in reply to UTB)

Post #: 270