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I am bemused because... - 25/4/2012 7:41:28 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
This didn't piss me off, nor make me smile, nor was it just something I was thinking. It bemused me.

So yesterday I was purchasing my evening repast at a reputable local purveyor of convenient and velocitous food. There was a chap of questionable employment next to me also waiting to pay for a similar evening meal. As we waited he clocked the young male shop assistant eying up his attractive female co-worker's rear, and guffawed like a buffoon, pointing out to all and sundry the male employee's indiscretion, much to the assistant's embarrassment. I ignored his attempts to draw others into his little joke, and merely looked beatific as I waited for my food.

Time went on, and there appeared to be a problem with setting up the till to process a card payment. The young male employee served me was struggling, so the attractive lady who had been serving the disreputable man, still cackling at his own wit, came over to help. Soon, a third mystery man - I shall call him the cook, as that is probably what he was - arrived from the depths of the establishment and, with their powers combined, eventually managed to work out the till which, clearly, was designed by Boeing. Anyway, before the situation had resolved itself, the buffoon next to me had changed his tune from one of leering cretinousness to indignation at having to wait for his food.

"I don't want cold food, why are you all serving him?" he bawled. His loutish behaviour to this point had been largely ignored and so when he changed his tune, it was also ignored. I almost felt sorry for him, for his complaint was a justifiable one: his food was indeed sitting going cold while he waited to pay. Clearly not getting a rise out of the employees, he then surmised that actually the till not working was my fault and, the crime of not carrying any sterling around with me was unforgivable.

"Why don't you carry a tenner around with you?" he enquired of me. I ignored him, as the attractive lady (with the aforementioned pert arse) was talking to me and I know who I'd rather listen to. "Why am I being ignored cos of this twat's problem?" He continued. "Just cos he don't carry no cash around."

He made me feel quite well-to-do. It helped that I was wearing a suit and carrying an umbrella. That I was frequenting a vendor of fried chicken should have given the game away that I was not, in fact, well-to-do, but just wanted to go home and eat my food too.

Anyway, it bemused me that he should go from bawdy accusations of arse-watching to indignant accusations of innocent customers in two minutes flat.

I got a 10% discount on the meal and a bunch of vouchers too. So now you know: to get a good deal use a card to pay and make sure you're standing next to a neanderthal in the queue.


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Post #: 1
RE: I am bemused because... - 25/4/2012 8:30:26 PM   
Keyser Sozzled


Posts: 5999
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From: Dublin
I have to admit this post made me chuckle.

quote:

He made me feel quite well-to-do. It helped that I was wearing a suit and carrying an umbrella. That I was frequenting a vendor of fried chicken should have given the game away that I was not, in fact, well-to-do, but just wanted to go home and eat my food too.




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RE: I am bemused because... - 25/4/2012 8:43:47 PM   
elab49


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quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq
velocitous



I'm bemused as I believe I've spotted the 'new' behooved.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation] LIKE AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS TOO. IT MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND THOUGHT IT WAS WITTY. ALSO I FEEL SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. I KEEP AGREEING WITH ELAB.


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RE: I am bemused because... - 25/4/2012 9:02:31 PM   
Larry of Arabia

 

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...because after 5 years on the boards, a million homework threads and million smart aleccy "in before the lock" replies to (right) said threads, for the first time ever there is one open and everyone's like "it ain't no thang, guy just needs help with his homework."

I, for one, am bemused.

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RE: I am bemused because... - 25/4/2012 9:08:07 PM   
elab49


Posts: 54597
Joined: 1/10/2005
Wait to the 50th asking the same question over and over and over and over again. 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation] LIKE AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS TOO. IT MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND THOUGHT IT WAS WITTY. ALSO I FEEL SLOWLY DYING INSIDE. I KEEP AGREEING WITH ELAB.


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Post #: 5
RE: I am bemused because... - 25/4/2012 9:26:32 PM   
Hood_Man


Posts: 12188
Joined: 30/9/2005
This has left me feeling bemused

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17829438

Not only did the man "park" his car in the entrance of the Paris Metro, but it's apparently happened before.

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Post #: 6
RE: I am bemused because... - 25/4/2012 9:57:18 PM   
Spaldron


Posts: 10485
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From: Chair
Never heard a KFC described as a "reputable local purveyor of convenient and velocitous food" before.

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RE: I am bemused because... - 25/4/2012 10:07:20 PM   
Rebenectomy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

This has left me feeling bemused

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17829438

Not only did the man "park" his car in the entrance of the Paris Metro, but it's apparently happened before.


Paris be crazy for cars. I was having dinner once on the Champs Elysées (McDonald's before you go thinking I'm being all posh like) and this guy literally stopped in the middle of traffic, across two opposing lanes, hopped into Macky D's, got himself a Le Big Mac and sauntered back out. All in the middle of rush hour.

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RE: I am bemused because... - 25/4/2012 10:16:29 PM   
steffols


Posts: 7689
Joined: 3/10/2005
From: Jungleland
Wasn't it driving law in France not that long ago that you had to give way ON a roundabout? I don't drive but even to my uneducated ears, that sounds baffling.

I am as bemused as Larry at the dude with the homework thread.

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Post #: 9
RE: I am bemused because... - 26/4/2012 12:28:18 AM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
quote:

ORIGINAL: steffols

Wasn't it driving law in France not that long ago that you had to give way ON a roundabout? I don't drive but even to my uneducated ears, that sounds baffling.

I am as bemused as Larry at the dude with the homework thread.


Can we have a "I am happy because..." thread, and then wait for Larry to post, please.


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Post #: 10
RE: I am bemused because... - 26/4/2012 12:54:07 PM   
superdan


Posts: 8279
Joined: 31/7/2008

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq

Anyway, it bemused me that he should go from bawdy accusations of arse-watching to indignant accusations of innocent customers in two minutes flat.


Some people are quite simply incorrigible blaggards. Although, I kind of hope the assistant gets some poon on account of said blaggard breaking the ice for him.

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Post #: 11
RE: I am bemused because... - 26/4/2012 4:32:31 PM   
Stillwater


Posts: 1652
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq
velocitous



I'm bemused as I believe I've spotted the 'new' behooved.



I'm bemused at the idea that anything could replace 'behoove'




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RE: I am bemused because... - 26/4/2012 4:34:12 PM   
Stillwater


Posts: 1652
Joined: 30/9/2005



quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq
velocitous



I'm bemused as I believe I've spotted the 'new' behooved.



I'm bemused at the idea that anything could replace 'behoove'

I am also bemused at the adverts for the new Zac Efron movie, whatever it is, with quotes such as 'Zac Efron couldn't be hotter' used to sell it. Now I like my hot men as much as anyone, but it generally isn't the reason why I go and see a film.



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Forum Innuendo Champion 2009

"great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love..."

" There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries "

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Post #: 13
RE: I am bemused because... - 26/4/2012 4:39:17 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stillwater




quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq
velocitous



I'm bemused as I believe I've spotted the 'new' behooved.



I'm bemused at the idea that anything could replace 'behoove'

I am also bemused at the adverts for the new Zac Efron movie, whatever it is, with quotes such as 'Zac Efron couldn't be hotter' used to sell it. Now I like my hot men as much as anyone, but it generally isn't the reason why I go and see a film.





Gah!

Also, the way the quote is on the bus adverts for that film, it makes it look like it's the tagline for the film. Which would be genius in its honesty of intent, really.

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Post #: 14
RE: I am bemused because... - 26/4/2012 5:07:48 PM   
st3veebee


Posts: 2353
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: 9303 Lyon Drive



Are you this character?

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RE: I am bemused because... - 26/4/2012 5:48:16 PM   
Rebenectomy


Posts: 5629
Joined: 20/1/2008
From: 10-0-11-0-0 by 0-2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stillwater

I am also bemused at the adverts for the new Zac Efron movie, whatever it is, with quotes such as 'Zac Efron couldn't be hotter' used to sell it. Now I like my hot men as much as anyone, but it generally isn't the reason why I go and see a film.


If it's for the same Efron film that I saw a trailer for before Hunger Games, then trust me, it is possibly the only selling point. It looks dreadful.


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Post #: 16
RE: I am bemused because... - 27/4/2012 11:05:45 AM   
Arron_

 

Posts: 181
Joined: 13/10/2011
quote:

ORIGINAL: Larry of Arabia

(right) said threads


Nice!

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Post #: 17
RE: I am bemused because... - 27/4/2012 7:14:20 PM   
sanchia


Posts: 18245
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From: Norwich
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KNT0DF6yrg&feature=related

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