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RE: Yes, another McDonalds movie - 12/4/2012 6:49:40 PM   
Hood_Man


Posts: 12120
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

HOWEVER... for a film that was willing to be silly enough to add conversations about the difference between Destroyers and Battleships, and use a big screen grid to blindly bomb the ocean for enemy warships, I think it's unforgivable that at no point did they include the line "they sunk my battleship!"


True, although one of the old guys (how weird was *that* turn of events?!) did say "You won't sink my battleship" or something along those lines.

Yeah I remember that one, but I was hoping that with his post Taken action hero status, it would be Liam Neeson growling it

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Post #: 31
RE: Just what the doctor ordered? - 13/4/2012 11:19:54 AM   
Dr Lenera

 

Posts: 3826
Joined: 19/10/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emyr Thy King

Patient referral by Dr Lenera (not the muahahaha type)

Diagnosis: patient displays initial sign of confusion, time lapse appears to be common within patient's memory. Later, heart rate becomes less irregular with stable heart beats. Breathing becomes more controlled, if a little too much oscillation between shallow and deep breaths. Behavioural abnormality seems to be quite apparent in patient. Patient may be calm for one moment, then displays sudden extrovert behaviour with jumping up and down and shouting before settling down again. Patient also shows propensity for violence, with sudden bouts of anger by destroying furnishings and other items. Patient shows an unusual interest in donning what could be termed eclectic wear, with something akin to a spacesuit. Perhaps signs of mild delusions? Vis--vis the propensity for violence, patient shows an alarming interest in pyrotechnics. Indeed, a gleeful almost child-like enthusiasm for starting fires and creating explosions. Pyromania is visibly part of the patient's psyche. As noted above, the patient it seems suffers from delusional episodes. Inventing characters with little personality, and indeed spouting dialogue that can barely be deemed conversational. Perhaps a remedial/latent development in linguistics? Patient also displays an interest for music, though the patient's hearing is visibly impaired. With the infrequent shouting and causing destruction and then an inability to match the required tone of the musical piece - tone deafness.

Prognosis: Given the typical state of patients afflicted with such symptoms. The patient isn't deemed to be terminal but nonetheless has shown visible acute symptoms of mediocrity that cannot be cured, but may be treated. Patient should be treated with minimal skepticism given expected symptoms. Lowered expectations are advisable with a willingness to be subject to patient abnormalities. In order to lessen trauma for patient. No further recommendation is made

Consultant concurs with Dr Lenera's assessment of patient overall health. However, as standard, a re-assessment shall be required when the patient is re-examined. De Lenera's trusted expertise is accurate and he usually has his finger on the pulse.


Ha ha ha, almost pissed myself laughing at this, and thanks for the compliment

< Message edited by Dr Lenera -- 13/4/2012 11:21:18 AM >


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Post #: 32
RE: Battleship - 14/4/2012 7:11:00 PM   
captainrentboy

 

Posts: 684
Joined: 16/3/2008
From: South Wales
It was allllllright. More enjoyable than TF2 & 3, but then so is being punched in the face by a Bear repeatedly, so I'm not sure that's much of a compliment.

The effects ranged from fantastic to ''I've seen this a million times before, so it's no longer impressing me''.
90% of the acting was buttock clenchingly awful, especially bloody Rihanna ( Who I can safely assume wont be in many more films after this, as she could barely read a co-ordinate in a convincing manner)

The three sequences with the whirling destructive balls of doom were cool, and the initial crash landing of the ships was handled well. Other than that, it was pretty shitty.

There doesn't seem to be much of a mention of it on here, and I haven't heard Berg say otherwise. But were the Aliens actually all that bad? They only ever seemed to attack, or 'See Red', after being provoked. From what I could gather they were merely looking for refuge on Earth, due to the fact their home planet was ravaged by War.
If that was the case, Berg deserves some Kudos, as he actually made a big Summer Blockbuster where us humans are the bad guys.

2.5/5

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Post #: 33
RE: Hit! - 14/4/2012 9:19:05 PM   
DONOVAN KURTWOOD


Posts: 8468
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: PLANET G

quote:

ORIGINAL: Invader_Ace

quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

HOWEVER... for a film that was willing to be silly enough to add conversations about the difference between Destroyers and Battleships, and use a big screen grid to blindly bomb the ocean for enemy warships, I think it's unforgivable that at no point did they include the line "they sunk my battleship!"


True, although one of the old guys (how weird was *that* turn of events?!) did say "You won't sink my battleship" or something along those lines.


Oh Yeah, forgot. Very dissapointing that at no point Neeson barked "You. Sunk. MY. BATTLESHIP!" *Punch* Although, the bit with the Double Amputee Guy made it up for it!

I think from the thread so far, this film is going to go the way of Torque, and only me and DONOVON KURTWOOD will ever like it!





Well invader, you were spot on. saw this this afternoon and absolutely frakkin loved it. Perfect summer blockbuster entertainment. Loved the characters and performances, kitsch was a great lead. Loved the visuals and visual FX, the action is immense. I had a big smile on my face throughout. The best thing (and Empire as usual completely missed the mark on this) is that at no point does the movie take itself seriously. I really felt like Berg had his tongue in his cheek the whole time. best scene? The old timers and the starting up of the battleship, man that scene was soooo cool/ badass. What more can i say, i loved it. Five star summer entertainment or a solid four star action/ fx movie.

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Post #: 34
RE: Hit! - 14/4/2012 9:21:46 PM   
DONOVAN KURTWOOD


Posts: 8468
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: PLANET G
.

< Message edited by DONOVAN KURTWOOD -- 14/4/2012 9:23:08 PM >


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Post #: 35
RE: Battleship - 14/4/2012 9:21:58 PM   
DONOVAN KURTWOOD


Posts: 8468
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: PLANET G
.

< Message edited by DONOVAN KURTWOOD -- 14/4/2012 9:22:44 PM >


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Post #: 36
RE: Battleship - 14/4/2012 9:40:28 PM   
Qwerty Norris


Posts: 3944
Joined: 26/10/2005
From: Edinburgh
With Battleship, Peter Berg has taken us to depths of boredom I never knew existed.

An opening 10 minutes suggest we could be in for riotous fun, yet once the football match gets under way we are stuck with po-faced sincerity in the face of the completely absurd, up until Thunderstruck by AC/DC starts booming over the soundtrack - but by then it's already too late.

There is literally a scene halfway through when the protagonist ship pretty much starts to play the board game this folly is based on. At this moment, I'm in absolute no doubt that like me, the voices in many, many MANY peoples heads in multiplexes all across the world will be thinking "Is this actually happening? Bugger it is. What a terrible idea for a film. And yet, here I am dedicating my time to it. WHAT ON EARTH HAVE I DONE?!?"

To those with the subsequent troubling inner monologue, what we have done is collectively encouraged the studios to make more fun-filled pop corn flicks with....

*Zero character development,

*A plot that is the polar opposite of compelling,

*Rubbish aliens with no personality or set agenda and look like beaten up versions of the Master Chief with a hedgehog cello-taped to their chins.

* Uninspiring & regurgitated action sequences of the same firing & exploding set-up over & over & OVER AGAIN.

*Cast actors with gravitas like Liam Neeson & do absolutely nothing with them.

*Cast pop stars in meaningless roles for no reason other than an economical one.

This feeble argument along the lines of "it's a film with aliens and robots and blahdeblahdeblah, what are you expecting?" cannot be accepted as justification any more. I'm sorry it just can't. It's just not good enough. THIS is just not good enough. Mainstream doesn't always have to be intelligent, but it should never be atrociously boring. Box office history has proven that, and this continuous bastardisation of the films of Michael Bay in populist cinema has got to stop.

But on that note, even things as hateful as Revenge Of The Fallen & Dark Of The Moon are masterful pieces of escapist entertainment compared to this. Thanks to Battleship, I have now perfected the art of resting my head comfortably on the side of a cinema seat & closing my eyes for a much needed snooze, despite the decibel levels reverberating around the auditorium & ringing in the ears of the audience yawning in unison.

Sink this!

1/5

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1. Zero Dark Thirty
2. No
3. A Hijacking
4. Behind the Candelabra
5. In The Fog
6. Good Vibrations
7. McCullin
8. Beyond the Hills
9. The Place Beyond the Pines
10. Wreck-it Ralph

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Post #: 37
RE: Battleship - 14/4/2012 9:42:57 PM   
DONOVAN KURTWOOD


Posts: 8468
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: PLANET G
i forgot to mention, the soundtrack was perfect too, i love me some hard rock

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Post #: 38
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:30:08 AM   
Spaldron


Posts: 10485
Joined: 6/10/2006
From: Chair

quote:

ORIGINAL: HERMES_67
This was never intended to be an Oscar contender




Brilliant, I was waiting for someone to say the classic shite movie defence in the spirit of "b-but, its not supposed to be Citizen Kane!".

Well done!

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Post #: 39
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 1:55:54 PM   
MonsterCat


Posts: 7932
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron


quote:

ORIGINAL: HERMES_67
This was never intended to be an Oscar contender




Brilliant, I was waiting for someone to say the classic shite movie defence in the spirit of "b-but, its not supposed to be Citizen Kane!".

Well done!


It's not an excuse for poor film-making.

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Films watched in 2013

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Post #: 40
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 2:33:23 PM   
adambatman82

 

Posts: 11156
Joined: 15/12/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron


quote:

ORIGINAL: HERMES_67
This was never intended to be an Oscar contender




Brilliant, I was waiting for someone to say the classic shite movie defence in the spirit of "b-but, its not supposed to be Citizen Kane!".

Well done!


It's not an excuse for poor film-making.


I wouldn't go as far as to say Battleship was a poorly made film tho. It's perfectly adequate, and as solid a blockbuster as 90% of such fare. Every negative review of the film that I've seen seems to read as though it is actually disappointed that its not as bad as the author had pre-deemed it to be. Don't get me wrong, if we're talking star rating this would be no higher than 2/3 stars from me, but thats pretty much the same sort of result I'd give to the vast majority of films of this ilk (G.I Joe, John Carter, The Hunger Games, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, X-Men First Class to name but a few).

< Message edited by adambatman82 -- 15/4/2012 2:43:28 PM >

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Post #: 41
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 3:25:31 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19037
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82

quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron


quote:

ORIGINAL: HERMES_67
This was never intended to be an Oscar contender




Brilliant, I was waiting for someone to say the classic shite movie defence in the spirit of "b-but, its not supposed to be Citizen Kane!".

Well done!


It's not an excuse for poor film-making.


I wouldn't go as far as to say Battleship was a poorly made film tho. It's perfectly adequate, and as solid a blockbuster as 90% of such fare. Every negative review of the film that I've seen seems to read as though it is actually disappointed that its not as bad as the author had pre-deemed it to be. Don't get me wrong, if we're talking star rating this would be no higher than 2/3 stars from me, but thats pretty much the same sort of result I'd give to the vast majority of films of this ilk (G.I Joe, John Carter, The Hunger Games, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, X-Men First Class to name but a few).


That seems somewhat dismissive is it not?

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Post #: 42
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 4:11:39 PM   
adambatman82

 

Posts: 11156
Joined: 15/12/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44


quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82

quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron


quote:

ORIGINAL: HERMES_67
This was never intended to be an Oscar contender




Brilliant, I was waiting for someone to say the classic shite movie defence in the spirit of "b-but, its not supposed to be Citizen Kane!".

Well done!


It's not an excuse for poor film-making.


I wouldn't go as far as to say Battleship was a poorly made film tho. It's perfectly adequate, and as solid a blockbuster as 90% of such fare. Every negative review of the film that I've seen seems to read as though it is actually disappointed that its not as bad as the author had pre-deemed it to be. Don't get me wrong, if we're talking star rating this would be no higher than 2/3 stars from me, but thats pretty much the same sort of result I'd give to the vast majority of films of this ilk (G.I Joe, John Carter, The Hunger Games, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, X-Men First Class to name but a few).


That seems somewhat dismissive is it not?



Nope, just an observation. Like I say, my own opinion of the film lines up with that of most reviews (which seem to be 2 starrers), so I'm certainly not dismissing anything out of hand, but I've yet to see an overwhelmingly negative review (of which there are only actually a handful) of the film that hasn't been all snarky rant and faux-pomposity.

(in reply to Rgirvan44)
Post #: 43
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 4:14:32 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19037
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82

yet to see an overwhelmingly negative review (of which there are only actually a handful) of the film that hasn't been all snarky rant and faux-pomposity.


Cheers! I thought I gave a pretty detailed reason why I didn't like it.


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Post #: 44
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 4:24:31 PM   
Hood_Man


Posts: 12120
Joined: 30/9/2005
I'm not gonna lie, even though I ended up enjoying it I did turn to my friend after 5 minutes to say "Can we go?"

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Post #: 45
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:07:18 PM   
adambatman82

 

Posts: 11156
Joined: 15/12/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44


quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82

yet to see an overwhelmingly negative review (of which there are only actually a handful) of the film that hasn't been all snarky rant and faux-pomposity.


Cheers! I thought I gave a pretty detailed reason why I didn't like it.



I was actually referring to "proper" reviews, and I hadn't read your longer one in here. To be fair though even in that one (which I have now read) I don't think you really get in to the nuts and bolts of what you thought made Battleship a bad movie.

Plus, no satire? For real? The third act "museum montage" is as satirical as anything in Starship Troopers.

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Post #: 46
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:12:36 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19037
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82


Plus, no satire? For real? The third act "museum montage" is as satirical as anything in Starship Troopers.


Disagree with this - Berg is paying tribute to the sailors and the ship. We can discuss how successful he was in doing this, but the moments of comedy have warmth to them.

Satire suggests there is a message underneath the hood - I don't see it. Its a crowd pleaser moment.



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Post #: 47
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:18:54 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19037
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park
As for your comments about my "non-proper" review - my major problem with the film was the island subplot, which took up a huge amount of time and consisted of a whole lot of nothing for most of that time. Which is what I said. I am not sure what more you want from me there.

< Message edited by Rgirvan44 -- 15/4/2012 5:19:17 PM >


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Post #: 48
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:23:02 PM   
DONOVAN KURTWOOD


Posts: 8468
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: PLANET G
This is gonna be a real looker on blu ray, can't wait!

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Post #: 49
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:23:13 PM   
DONOVAN KURTWOOD


Posts: 8468
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: PLANET G
.

< Message edited by DONOVAN KURTWOOD -- 15/4/2012 5:33:44 PM >


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Post #: 50
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:24:08 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19037
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park
You know DK, as I was watching it, I did think you would love the movie!

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Post #: 51
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:25:21 PM   
Scruffybobby

 

Posts: 4258
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: My House
Battleship clearly shares a lot of its DNA with the dreaded Transformers franchise. It's overlong, over loud, messy, stupidly macho and jingoistic and dumb as can be. Unlike TF though (at least the second 2 installments) it's actually kind of fun.

The acting is functional at best - Kitsch is a bland leading man, Neeson phones it in, Decker does nothing more than look good in shorts. Rihanna does a decent enough job in a pretty nothing role though. The action is a bit repetitive and the effects are for the most part fine just nothing we haven't seen before. Nonetheless there's enough energy and downright silliness in the film to make it a passable couple of hours for a Sunday afternoon.

2 and a bit stars




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Post #: 52
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:27:33 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19037
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park
I think I would have liked it a lot more if the Kitsch character had kept his humour - I know he had a few jokes here and there, but in the first ten minutes I finally saw that star quality people have been telling me he has.

As I said previously, when the chips are down, I thought Beast was acting like a more capable leader.

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Post #: 53
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:33:17 PM   
adambatman82

 

Posts: 11156
Joined: 15/12/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44
Satire suggests there is a message underneath the hood - I don't see it.


The rejection of modern technology and the reliability of the old is quite a clear underlying message. It runs through the film too, with logic going out of the window in favour of technologically-at-odds instinct on several occasions.

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Post #: 54
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:33:24 PM   
DONOVAN KURTWOOD


Posts: 8468
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: PLANET G

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

You know DK, as I was watching it, I did think you would love the movie!


so true, it was great fun!

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Post #: 55
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:36:12 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19037
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

quote:

ORIGINAL: adambatman82


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44
Satire suggests there is a message underneath the hood - I don't see it.


The rejection of modern technology and the reliability of the old is quite a clear underlying message. It runs through the film too, with logic going out of the window in favour of technologically-at-odds instinct on several occasions.


But is that satire or just a thematic undercurrent?

I also am not sure if the rejection of modern technology is in there - given that it is modern tech that allows the ship to create a grid when fighting the ships.

_____________________________

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Post #: 56
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:45:37 PM   
adambatman82

 

Posts: 11156
Joined: 15/12/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44
But is that satire or just a thematic undercurrent?


Satire.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44
I also am not sure if the rejection of modern technology is in there - given that it is modern tech that allows the ship to create a grid when fighting the ships.


The resolution is reached via old tech. That is literally what actually happens, it's not really disputable.

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Post #: 57
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:53:56 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19037
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park
Where is the satire?

Old technology has benefits we don't appreicate - theme
Our romantic look at our past military victories is silly, and we are mocking it - satire.

I for one don't believe that Berg would be nasty enough to want audiences to laugh at the old crew and ship. There is warmth in the ACDC scene. I think he wants us to laugh along with them, and tap into the old war spirit.

So again, not sure where this satire is coming from.

_____________________________

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Post #: 58
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 5:55:21 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19037
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park
As for the tech at the end - yes the old ship wins the day. But modern tech does a lot of work in the film to get them to that point in the finale. I don't think it is that black and white.

_____________________________

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.


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Post #: 59
RE: Battleship - 15/4/2012 6:13:35 PM   
adambatman82

 

Posts: 11156
Joined: 15/12/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

Where is the satire?

Old technology has benefits we don't appreicate - theme
Our romantic look at our past military victories is silly, and we are mocking it - satire.

I for one don't believe that Berg would be nasty enough to want audiences to laugh at the old crew and ship. There is warmth in the ACDC scene. I think he wants us to laugh along with them, and tap into the old war spirit.


The satire is in the manner in which Berg presents his film. The old man scene is essentially a typical macho action flick montage, albeit with one component changed to heightened (humorous) effect. He's commenting on the action cinema form. (There's also a sense of this in the manner in which the aliens are presented - they don't want to harm humans, and only act in retaliation to threat, which could in itself be read as a commentary on American foreign policy)

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Post #: 60
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