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RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 19/11/2011 8:34:13 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
I think that Johnny Mathis has a message. And it's one that we should all take to our hearts and cherish for the dear sentiment it is. I think we can all come together and believe in this message.

A ray of hope flickers in the sky,
A tiny star lights up way up high,
A brand new morn dawns across the land
This comes to pass, when a troll is banned.

The subforums are a place of peace,
Until a troll causes it to cease.
And the mods, as one, together they stand,
This comes to pass, when a troll is banned.

A rosy hue settles all around
You got the feel, you're on solid ground
For a spell or two there's silence through the land.
This comes to pass, when a troll is banned.

Spoken: And all of this happens, because the forum is waiting. Waiting for one user: green, pink, black, no one knows.. but a user that will post and turn tears to laughter, hate to love, war to peace, and everyone to everyone's fellow forumite. And spamming, and trolling will be words to be forgotten forever.

It's all a dream and illusion now,
It must come true sometime soon somehow
And a brand new morn, dawns across the land,
This comes to pass, when a troll is banned.

_____________________________

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.


Bristol Bad Film Club
A place where movie fans can come and behold some of the most awful films ever put to celluloid.

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)
Post #: 61
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 19/11/2011 11:11:32 PM   
Harry Lime


Posts: 5147
Joined: 30/9/2005
Count your blessings that you didn't fuck about with that song, homer! I would have taken a ban for Mr Mathis and that track! One of the three greatest Christmas songs ever written!

I'm already plotting a horrible death involving pokers and sea-salt for those JLS cocksucking cunt-bags after enduring their dry-raping of Dame Vera Lynn last night!

Edit. Damn. Too much Jack Daniels. You did fuck about with it. I will have my revenge!

< Message edited by Harry Lime -- 19/11/2011 11:12:42 PM >


_____________________________

"People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I'm just trying to hold my gut in."

If I get there early will it be the right time
our heaven is just waiting so put your hand into mine.

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)
Post #: 62
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 12:04:52 AM   
Harry Lime


Posts: 5147
Joined: 30/9/2005
C is for old Clownfoot and all his Deadite friends
H is for young Hood_Man and all who he offends
R is for Rick_7 and the films the he loves the most
I is for Icaraus and all of his endless, epic posts
S is for Sahara and her mental pink writing
T is for Timon and the sanity he brings
M is for Matty_b and his love of off Jarvis C
A is for anybody whose initials they can't see
S is for swordsandsandals and his fear of se-eh-ex
Be good and he'll bring you everything in your Christmas alphabet!

Capital C is for Chris Hewitt and his terrible reviews
H is for Harry Lime and his antiquated views
R is for the Rincster and all his Grandstand mates
I is for the idiots who li-ike Scar-ar-face
S is Sinatra and his life support machine
T is for Toby Monroe and his awesome football team
M is for Monster Cat and the cocks she likes to tease
A is for anybody whose initials they can't see-ees
S is for Old Santa who makes every kid his pet,
Be good and he'll bring you everything in your Christmas alphabet!

_____________________________

"People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I'm just trying to hold my gut in."

If I get there early will it be the right time
our heaven is just waiting so put your hand into mine.

(in reply to Harry Lime)
Post #: 63
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 10:37:47 AM   
MovieAddict247


Posts: 3751
Joined: 5/6/2009
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rinc

To sleep with matty's mother
Will cause us all our doom
Well tonight thank god it's Rawls
Instead of you


And there won't be posts in Off Topic this forum time
Internal server error makes me cry (oooh)

Darth Silas is not fond
Of Dan Craig as James Bond

Do they know it's forum time at all?





Those six lines are genius!


_____________________________

VOTE NOW for your favourite vocalist - Empire's Favourite Voices

(in reply to Rinc)
Post #: 64
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 12:04:17 PM   
tommyjarvis


Posts: 6632
Joined: 2/11/2005
From: Caught somewhere in time
Good work everyone, I particularly liked Matty's and Rinc's efforts. Although Rinc's is sadly lacking a Dizzee Rascal rap in the middle.

_____________________________

"I've been too honest with myself, I should have lied like everybody else"

My Top 101 Rock Songs - The first Audiophile list to actually get completed!

(in reply to MovieAddict247)
Post #: 65
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 12:13:13 PM   
rick_7


Posts: 6151
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: The internet
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rinc

But post a meme
And reply to Rick_7
At forum time,
The Gervais thread is my heaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Harry Lime

R is for Rick_7 and the films the he loves the most

Yes! I made it! I'm a somebody! Screw you, teachers. So I'd never amount to anything, hey?

No, that's not what I mean at all... Great songs, you two. That was it.


_____________________________

*Wendy Hiller fanboy*

Blog: DJANGO! DUMBO! DESPICABLE ME 2! Plus: other stuff.

"Nothin's really been right since Sam the Lion died."

(in reply to Rinc)
Post #: 66
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 12:30:15 PM   
MonsterCat


Posts: 7934
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire

quote:

ORIGINAL: Harry Lime

M is for Monster Cat and the cocks she likes to tease



?

_____________________________

"I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you."

Films watched in 2013

(in reply to Harry Lime)
Post #: 67
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 12:35:05 PM   
rick_7


Posts: 6151
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: The internet
quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat


quote:

ORIGINAL: Harry Lime

M is for Monster Cat and the cocks she likes to tease



?

M is for Monster Cat and the cocks he likes to tease.

Fixed?


_____________________________

*Wendy Hiller fanboy*

Blog: DJANGO! DUMBO! DESPICABLE ME 2! Plus: other stuff.

"Nothin's really been right since Sam the Lion died."

(in reply to MonsterCat)
Post #: 68
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 12:45:57 PM   
MonsterCat


Posts: 7934
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire
Much better. Thank you, Richard.

_____________________________

"I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you."

Films watched in 2013

(in reply to rick_7)
Post #: 69
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 12:48:23 PM   
rick_7


Posts: 6151
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: The internet
My pleasure.

_____________________________

*Wendy Hiller fanboy*

Blog: DJANGO! DUMBO! DESPICABLE ME 2! Plus: other stuff.

"Nothin's really been right since Sam the Lion died."

(in reply to MonsterCat)
Post #: 70
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 1:04:40 PM   
Harry Lime


Posts: 5147
Joined: 30/9/2005


_____________________________

"People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I'm just trying to hold my gut in."

If I get there early will it be the right time
our heaven is just waiting so put your hand into mine.

(in reply to rick_7)
Post #: 71
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 2:02:52 PM   
rick_7


Posts: 6151
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: The internet
For anyone who's wondering about the Orange Place, this is how people used to smile there:

_____________________________

*Wendy Hiller fanboy*

Blog: DJANGO! DUMBO! DESPICABLE ME 2! Plus: other stuff.

"Nothin's really been right since Sam the Lion died."

(in reply to Harry Lime)
Post #: 72
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 20/11/2011 3:36:43 PM   
Rinc


Posts: 12825
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: A park bench, with a newspaper quilt
When the topics bring the twats
And we all get fucking mad
It must be Thursday time, weíre all over the place
So the moderating pack
Go for ban button attacks
We even brought back Clowny for his heroic post deletion pace

Well Iím glad it isnít Thursday, every day
When the kids start arguing over things like Golden Globes Gervais
Oh Iím glad it isnít Thursday, every day
Let the posts be screened on Thursday

Homer starts to show his teeth
Sharky tries to sort out beef
Elab and Captain will tell trolls where to go
Rinc sometimes gets annoyed
With the News Hot Topics boys
And the girls as they bicker Ďtil Your Funny Uncle has a moan

Well Iím glad it isnít Thursday, every day
When the kids start arguing over things like Golden Globes Gervais
Oh Iím glad it isnít Thursday, every day
Let the posts be screened on Thursday

Rebenectomy and Shool
And Funky are no fools
If you argue they will go to sort you out
And Pep will step right in
James Numbersí full of win
Donít cross the Hobbs cos she will start the moderatorsí banning rout

Well Iím glad it isnít Thursday, every day
When the kids start arguing over things like Golden Globes Gervais
Oh Iím glad it isnít Thursday, every day
Let the posts be screened on Thursday

Okay you lot - take it!

Well Iím glad it isnít Thursday, every day
When the kids start arguing over things like Golden Globes Gervais
Oh Iím glad it isnít Thursday, every day
Let the posts be screened on Thursday

Whyís P A a mod when heís useless?

When the topics bring the twats
When the topics bring the twats
When the topics bring the twats
When the topics bring the twats
When the topics bring the twats
When the topics bring the twats


_____________________________

No spoilers please:

Invisiotext:
[ color=#F1F1F1 ]text[ /color ]

(in reply to rick_7)
Post #: 73
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 21/11/2011 3:30:43 PM   
Rebenectomy


Posts: 5629
Joined: 20/1/2008
From: 10-0-11-0-0 by 0-2
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's jiraffejustin I need
I don't care about the presence
Of grammatical inaccuracy
I just want swords for my own
More than he could ever know
Make my wish come true
Swords, all I want for Christmas is...
You

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
Sobriety and cleaner living
and a Tangled Blu Ray DVD
I just need to hang my stocking
Over your James Blunt face
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a sex toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Swords, all I want for Christmas is you
You... baby




_____________________________

Body Hair Beautiful: An Armpits for August Special
http://www.lipstogetherandblow.com/2013/07/body-beautiful.html

(in reply to Rinc)
Post #: 74
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 21/11/2011 3:51:00 PM   
Kilo_T_Mortal


Posts: 13534
Joined: 30/9/2005
I'm still trying with make Chrismas Mamooth, but it's difficult. The standard chord progresson of C am F G, is just sounding too generic. I'llkeep working.

_____________________________

he's ruining my buestiful threat!

"She must have known about all this before she let that grinning loon put his space-cock anywhere near her?"
horribleives

(in reply to Rebenectomy)
Post #: 75
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 21/11/2011 4:11:41 PM   
matty_b


Posts: 14556
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rebenectomy

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's jiraffejustin I need
I don't care about the presence
Of grammatical inaccuracy
I just want swords for my own
More than he could ever know
Make my wish come true
Swords, all I want for Christmas is...
You

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
Sobriety and cleaner living
and a Tangled Blu Ray DVD
I just need to hang my stocking
Over your James Blunt face
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a sex toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Swords, all I want for Christmas is you
You... baby






Close the thread. It will not get better than this. (although I think you should merge your's and Rinc's for a Band Aid chorus of - "Touch sword's cock
Do they know it's not been touched?")

Oh, and alert swords to this, obviously.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.


(in reply to Rebenectomy)
Post #: 76
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 21/11/2011 5:19:45 PM   
MovieAddict247


Posts: 3751
Joined: 5/6/2009
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rebenectomy

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's jiraffejustin I need
I don't care about the presence
Of grammatical inaccuracy
I just want swords for my own
More than he could ever know
Make my wish come true
Swords, all I want for Christmas is...
You

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
Sobriety and cleaner living
and a Tangled Blu Ray DVD

I just need to hang my stocking
Over your James Blunt face
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a sex toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Swords, all I want for Christmas is you
You... baby





That's brilliant, Reb. Just brilliant.


_____________________________

VOTE NOW for your favourite vocalist - Empire's Favourite Voices

(in reply to Rebenectomy)
Post #: 77
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 22/11/2011 3:25:21 AM   
steflon


Posts: 3317
Joined: 2/9/2008
From: London
so long as its as chaotic and manic and as fun as a bellowhead party i'll be happy.

i'll dance around through the audience with a tophat and my uke!

_____________________________

www.twitter.com/Steflon
http://onedayiwillhavehenchmen.blogspot.com/

quote:

ORIGINAL: steffols
we can roam these vast Empire halls as awesome Stefs.

ORIGINAL: hiptobesquare_x
'and that's why Steflon is all kinds of awesome.'

(in reply to MovieAddict247)
Post #: 78
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 22/11/2011 9:37:01 AM   
Chief


Posts: 7777
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee
To the tune of Misteltoe & Wine:

It's Globe time, listen to them whine
Same old culprits every time.
Gervais got the gig and that lit the fuse
Time to express their distorted views

No time for listening, no room for explaining
Bee in the bonnet, internet crusading
Rage and anger, that's how I roll
Not sure if serious or simply a troll

It's Globe time, listen to them whine
Same old culprits every time.
Gervais got the gig and that lit the fuse
Time to express their distorted views

Thursday night, my favourite night

A time for drama, a time for woes
Borderline libel keeps the Mods on their toes
A serious topic? Time to derail
Ran out of ammo? Quote the Daily Mail

It's Globe time, listen to them whine
Same old culprits every time.
Gervais got the gig and that lit the fuse
Time to express their distorted views

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)
Post #: 79
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 22/11/2011 11:32:02 AM   
Toby Monroe


Posts: 1561
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kilo_T_Mortal

I'm still trying with make Chrismas Mamooth, but it's difficult. The standard chord progresson of C am F G, is just sounding too generic. I'llkeep working.

What I'd do is go with I IV vi I. So in C, we're looking at a C F am C progression. If you play the F major in its 2nd inversion, and A minor in its 1st inversion you can keep a low C note throbbing away in the bass or even sub-bass. Maybe a subtle but sustained parp on a tuba on every down beat? This should help to build a steady tension as you approach the chorus. At which point you can then introduce the G chord (possibly at the expense of the am) to give chorus a real lift.

Yeah, that's right, i've read Music Theory for Dummies.

_____________________________

Fit or Fugly score: 3/10

(in reply to Kilo_T_Mortal)
Post #: 80
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 23/11/2011 12:24:07 AM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
I want bells, too. It's not a Christmas song without bells.

_____________________________

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.


Bristol Bad Film Club
A place where movie fans can come and behold some of the most awful films ever put to celluloid.

(in reply to Toby Monroe)
Post #: 81
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 18/12/2011 8:58:46 PM   
swordsandsandals


Posts: 12571
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: A magical forest
...

I have no words.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawlinson

Swords is right about everything.



quote:

ORIGINAL: Hood_Man

Swords smells like bum.



(in reply to homersimpson_esq)
Post #: 82
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 29/12/2011 6:51:22 PM   
Kilo_T_Mortal


Posts: 13534
Joined: 30/9/2005
I'm lazy and couldn't be bothered like all of you. Except homer.

_____________________________

he's ruining my buestiful threat!

"She must have known about all this before she let that grinning loon put his space-cock anywhere near her?"
horribleives

(in reply to swordsandsandals)
Post #: 83
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 29/12/2011 7:22:59 PM   
Olaf


Posts: 23697
Joined: 26/2/2007
From: 41įN 93įW
This didn't even chart this Christmas. you're like a shit Midge Ure.

_____________________________

I tried to groan, Help! Help! But the tone that came out was that of polite conversation.

Empire Top 100 Albums Poll 2013: CLICK HERE

(in reply to Kilo_T_Mortal)
Post #: 84
RE: Empire forum Chrismas single - 11/12/2012 3:14:53 PM   
matty_b


Posts: 14556
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.
HEY REMEMBER THIS

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.


(in reply to Olaf)
Post #: 85
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