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The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn

 
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The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn - 13/10/2011 6:08:35 PM   
Empire Admin

 

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Post #: 1
I smell a bomb - 13/10/2011 6:08:35 PM   
CHUFFSTER

 

Posts: 165
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I bet four stars is over generous,just to keep in with Pete and co!

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Post #: 2
RE: I smell a bomb - 13/10/2011 7:52:41 PM   
BillyDolworth

 

Posts: 28
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"We open in what might be Paris"?
"he barely strolls through a French market"?



I'll have you know that's Brussels and the market is the antiquities/brocante-market on the Place du Jeu de Balles (also known as 'Vossenplein') in the Marolles district.


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Post #: 3
:) - 13/10/2011 8:06:49 PM   
bereski


Posts: 292
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Pure Spielberg is worth at least 5 stars.

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Post #: 4
Seriously rubbish review - 13/10/2011 8:26:38 PM   
hellsfoxes

 

Posts: 21
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this isn't about the film just Ian's writing style.

Empire reviews used to be blunt, accessible, humorous and definitive.

This is just pretentious writing mate. Like a high school english major who just discovered similes, irony and the big book of crap french film terms. okay maybe a bit more skill then that but pointless and distracting.

Obviously you have dramatic writing aspirations and plenty of talent but I'm reading this to find out the positives and negatives of this film most of all, and if the review can be witty and informative at the same time then great. I honestly can't get through this, having to dig through a complex-compound love letter to these filmmakers for small tastes of an actual review.

Just check out this opening paragraph from Empire's Truman Show review: "There are a number of powerful images in Peter Weir's end of the millennium masterpiece but one that really sticks in the mind, capturing as it does the central theme of The Truman Show, occurs only for a brief moment in the middle of a montage as "creator" Cristof describes Truman's development. We see a toddler in a playpen gazing upwards, apparently fascinated by a children's mobile. Fluffy shapes spin around to a tinkling nursery rhyme. But at the centre of the toy dangles the menacing shape of a camera lens and it's to this that the child's curious, slightly worried expression is directed. If one of the many themes of The Truman Show is betrayal then it is this shot that sums it up more eloquently than any other."

This reads like a review for a film buff. Tintin review reads like........ well, it doesn't read. In fact it doesn't seem to care if I'm in the room or not.

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Post #: 5
RE: Seriously rubbish review - 13/10/2011 9:03:25 PM   
Najemikon

 

Posts: 109
Joined: 14/12/2005
Great review, Ian, I am so stoked to see this film now! I thought you were describing a five-star film and I suspect I will find it such, as it sounds like pure Spielberg and my knowledge of Tintin isn't enough to appreciate what may be missing, but I understand how you arrived at four and it's nice to see a realistic assessment in the middle of such passion.

Maybe it's time Empire banned the comments section to the reviews though. Hellsfoxes, I enjoyed the review as it told me a great deal about what to expect while drawing me in. Frankly, you're a bit of a tool and quite rude to make such an irrelevant post. It actually depresses me now when I see a link on the news page to a review because I just know there is going to be some pillock on the first page having a go at the reviewer.


< Message edited by Najemikon -- 13/10/2011 9:04:59 PM >

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Post #: 6
RE: Seriously rubbish review - 13/10/2011 9:15:23 PM   
thetruth


Posts: 1548
Joined: 3/8/2011
Ban comments on reviews??
Why not ban reviews,or comments in general??
Ridiculous

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Post #: 7
RE: Seriously rubbish review - 13/10/2011 9:48:27 PM   
Drew_231

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Najemikon

Great review, Ian, I am so stoked to see this film now! I thought you were describing a five-star film and I suspect I will find it such, as it sounds like pure Spielberg and my knowledge of Tintin isn't enough to appreciate what may be missing, but I understand how you arrived at four and it's nice to see a realistic assessment in the middle of such passion.

Hellsfoxes, I enjoyed the review as it told me a great deal about what to expect while drawing me in. Frankly, you're a bit of a tool and quite rude to make such an irrelevant post. It actually depresses me now when I see a link on the news page to a review because I just know there is going to be some pillock on the first page having a go at the reviewer.



Sums up my thoughts quite well. Enjoyed reading the review, and really looking forward to the film now

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Post #: 8
Nathan!! - 13/10/2011 9:55:51 PM   
Dr Science

 

Posts: 152
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My heart sank the moment I saw Nathan's name on the bottom of the review. The only Empire reviewer I frequently feel compelled to review. Somebody please edit him. A lot. The problem with Nathan's style is that it's more about him than it is about the film. Some of his articles for Empire are superb - he' writes with knowledge and elan and that's great when conveying the nuance of a revered classic - but I hate his reviews with a passion; I never feel like he's given any consideration to the question of whether the average Empire reader will enjoy the film or not. And I never agree with his ratings.

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Post #: 9
RE: Seriously rubbish review - 13/10/2011 10:17:03 PM   
thetruth


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If an opinion on a review offends you,saying that opinions of reviews should be banned is just as bad.

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RE: Seriously rubbish review - 13/10/2011 10:23:23 PM   
elab49


Posts: 54575
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As we have said repeatedly. If you wish to parse the writing in Empire Magazine, then the Magazine sub-forum is the place to do it. Indeed some threads already exist there. The discussion isn't prohibited.

This thread is the only place people can review and discuss their opinions of the film. It is unfair to them to have to wade through this each and every time. This in no way prohibits discussing and disagreeing with the opinion of the Empire reviewer - which obviously can only really happen if you've actually seen the film as well. But that would be the topic of the thread - discussion of Tintin. So please respect other users - we don't want the usual 10 odd pages of this every time a 'big' film opens.


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Post #: 11
RE: The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn - 13/10/2011 11:00:00 PM   
demoncleaner


Posts: 2376
Joined: 3/10/2005
From: Belfast
Woo-hoo!  The only thing better than a 5 star review is a 4 star review.  All of the mainstream films that live long in the memory are 4 star films.  Batman Begins, Dawn of the Dead, Bourne's (the first two), The Departed...and so on and so forth....there are others....and no doubt other catastrophes that didn't deserve the 4-tag (Phantom Menace and Indy 4 ).  I think that a 5-star film causes an instant back-lash, and there is a lovely precedent that shows an Empire 4-star allows (largely) mainstream fare to sleeper hit (Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Drive seem to be two such favourites on here in the past year).

I am soooo looking forward to Tintin.  Would have liked a 5 star for encouragement...but 4 is even better in many ways.

Can't wait for the 26th....thought for a second according to the poster it was 23rd Decemeber....so double-joy this week.  Good stuff.

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Post #: 12
RE: Seriously rubbish review - 13/10/2011 11:58:18 PM   
Najemikon

 

Posts: 109
Joined: 14/12/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetruth

If an opinion on a review offends you,saying that opinions of reviews should be banned is just as bad.


Don't misunderstand me, it's not like I want to ban the forum! I've ran a few myself and discussion is a positive thing. I just wish there was a way in which Empire's professional standards could be presented without an immediate immature reaction that has no interest in discussing the actual film, but instead attacks the reviewer.

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Post #: 13
RE: Seriously rubbish review - 14/10/2011 12:52:05 AM   
thetruth


Posts: 1548
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Najemikon

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetruth

If an opinion on a review offends you,saying that opinions of reviews should be banned is just as bad.


Don't misunderstand me, it's not like I want to ban the forum! I've ran a few myself and discussion is a positive thing. I just wish there was a way in which Empire's professional standards could be presented without an immediate immature reaction that has no interest in discussing the actual film, but instead attacks the reviewer.


I understand that.Itīs best ignored though,the mods will deal with that stuff.Most people here do want to actually discuss the films.

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Post #: 14
RE: Seriously rubbish review - 14/10/2011 10:21:13 AM   
TrendMeUp


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hellsfoxes

this isn't about the film just Ian's writing style.

Empire reviews used to be blunt, accessible, humorous and definitive.

This is just pretentious writing mate. Like a high school english major who just discovered similes, irony and the big book of crap french film terms. okay maybe a bit more skill then that but pointless and distracting.

Obviously you have dramatic writing aspirations and plenty of talent but I'm reading this to find out the positives and negatives of this film most of all, and if the review can be witty and informative at the same time then great. I honestly can't get through this, having to dig through a complex-compound love letter to these filmmakers for small tastes of an actual review.

Just check out this opening paragraph from Empire's Truman Show review: "There are a number of powerful images in Peter Weir's end of the millennium masterpiece but one that really sticks in the mind, capturing as it does the central theme of The Truman Show, occurs only for a brief moment in the middle of a montage as "creator" Cristof describes Truman's development. We see a toddler in a playpen gazing upwards, apparently fascinated by a children's mobile. Fluffy shapes spin around to a tinkling nursery rhyme. But at the centre of the toy dangles the menacing shape of a camera lens and it's to this that the child's curious, slightly worried expression is directed. If one of the many themes of The Truman Show is betrayal then it is this shot that sums it up more eloquently than any other."

This reads like a review for a film buff. Tintin review reads like........ well, it doesn't read. In fact it doesn't seem to care if I'm in the room or not.


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Post #: 15
review - 14/10/2011 10:24:10 AM   
chips78

 

Posts: 3
Joined: 20/7/2006
That is one of the worst written reviews i have read in a long time, the fact the someone gets paid to right in such a protentious manner baffles me.

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Post #: 16
RE: review - 14/10/2011 10:39:46 AM   
Vertigo...Woo.Yay.


Posts: 1111
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chips78

That is one of the worst written reviews i have read in a long time, the fact the someone gets paid to right in such a protentious manner baffles me.


In just one sentence you give two examples of why you don't really have the right to criticise someone elses writing.

It's a good review from someone who knows about both film, and Tintin.

< Message edited by Vertigo...Woo.Yay. -- 14/10/2011 10:40:03 AM >


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Post #: 17
Comedy - 14/10/2011 10:47:40 AM   
guysalisbury

 

Posts: 211
Joined: 3/11/2005
I never ever read the full review for fear of even the smallest spoiler, but after reading everyone's comments, and the fact that I have no desire to see this film, I had to give the full review a go.
Was this written by a 5 year old who had just been given a Thesaurus.?What a pretentious twat! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! You give someone a little bit of power and look what a douche bag they turn into. As a few people have mentioned below, any review written by Nathan will now be taken with a huge pinch of salt.

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Post #: 18
RE: review - 14/10/2011 10:55:33 AM   
tommyjarvis


Posts: 6632
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vertigo...Woo.Yay.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chips78

That is one of the worst written reviews i have read in a long time, the fact the someone gets paid to right in such a protentious manner baffles me.


In just one sentence you give two examples of why you don't really have the right to criticise someone elses writing.



Do you have to be a good writer to criticise someone else's writing? I can't imagine your average film reviewer is a particularly good film-maker.

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Post #: 19
- 14/10/2011 11:46:31 AM   
abaddon

 

Posts: 12
Joined: 16/4/2006
I generally like Empires reviews - erudite and informative without being full of spoilers, and not being a proffesional writer myself I would not dream of critiscising a reviewer writing style, however even I have to admit, this one was just bad, bad, bad...
It reminded me of one of those overly pretentious wine reviews a la Jilly Goolden but written by someone desperatly trying to impress with his extended vocabulary! Seriously Empire - I implore you, dont publish this review; it is alienating and affected.

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Post #: 20
RE: The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn - 14/10/2011 11:49:48 AM   
Timon


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From: Bristol
Alienating? Who exactly was scared of the big words and thoughts of the reviewer? Should he have written it in crayon?

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Post #: 21
RE: review - 14/10/2011 12:43:40 PM   
Vertigo...Woo.Yay.


Posts: 1111
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tommyjarvis


quote:

ORIGINAL: Vertigo...Woo.Yay.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chips78

That is one of the worst written reviews i have read in a long time, the fact the someone gets paid to right in such a protentious manner baffles me.


In just one sentence you give two examples of why you don't really have the right to criticise someone elses writing.



Do you have to be a good writer to criticise someone else's writing?


No, but at least have an entrance criteria of basic literacy.

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Post #: 22
RE: review - 14/10/2011 12:49:47 PM   
superdan


Posts: 8221
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Ooh is this going to be one of those threads?

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Post #: 23
RE: review - 14/10/2011 1:11:30 PM   
chips78

 

Posts: 3
Joined: 20/7/2006
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vertigo...Woo.Yay.


quote:

ORIGINAL: tommyjarvis


quote:

ORIGINAL: Vertigo...Woo.Yay.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chips78

That is one of the worst written reviews i have read in a long time, the fact the someone gets paid to right in such a protentious manner baffles me.


In just one sentence you give two examples of why you don't really have the right to criticise someone elses writing.



Do you have to be a good writer to criticise someone else's writing?


No, but at least have an entrance criteria of basic literacy.



Yikes did u both go to the same literary evening class. Anyways I'm not on here to bicker but after reading that review i was compelled to post something on here. Also its my first post in a long time and after recieving such a warm welcome i think i will stick to listening to a certain quiffed movie reviewer instead

< Message edited by chips78 -- 14/10/2011 1:12:08 PM >

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Post #: 24
RE: review - 14/10/2011 1:12:10 PM   
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This thread feels like a winner. I'm going to pull up a chair. 

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Post #: 25
RE: review - 14/10/2011 1:15:17 PM   
TrendMeUp


Posts: 984
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I don't want to sound like a kiss-arse, but Ian Nathan is one of the least dickish film critics in the country. I for one enjoy his writing style and obvious passion and knowledge towards what he's writing about. Jesus Christ, if more than 5 paragraphs is too much for you stick to The Sun's reviews. And if you're going to insult someone's writing style/ability at least have the courtesy to say more than "OMG what a protentious nob". It's tantamount to a film critic reviewing on TV with the boom mic hanging in his face.

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Post #: 26
horrific writing - 14/10/2011 1:16:22 PM   
pieseller

 

Posts: 6
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I have been reading empire for over 10 years and this is by far the worst written review ive come across. The writing style is inaccessible and convoluted. overly complicated expressions and irrelevant comments make this a very poor review. For a magazine as good as empire im shocked this review was passed.

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Post #: 27
RE: review - 14/10/2011 1:16:56 PM   
clownfoot


Posts: 7914
Joined: 26/9/2005
From: The ickle town of Fuck, Austria

quote:

ORIGINAL: superdan

Ooh is this going to be one of those threads?


It better not. Although if it does transcend into the standard criticism of the review and reviewer - which should be posted in the Empire Magazine Forum - then I'm ready to bring forth the banning stick and crack the skulls of some numpties. It's been too long since I last had the opportunity to do that! Let's just discuss the film and it's merits/awfulness here when it's finally released...

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Post #: 28
RE: horrific writing - 14/10/2011 1:38:40 PM   
Vertigo...Woo.Yay.


Posts: 1111
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: pieseller

The writing style is inaccessible and convoluted. overly complicated expressions and irrelevant comments make this a very poor review.


[cite]

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Post #: 29
RE: horrific writing - 14/10/2011 1:41:53 PM   
Rgirvan44


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A lot of these "the reviews are badly written" comments sometimes feel like what they actully want to say is "I don't understand and therefore, instead of blaming my lack of reading ability, I will blame the reviewer."

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