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RE: Imitations?! - 28/8/2011 11:45:39 AM   
The REAL Bozz


Posts: 3285
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

You just got served, son.


I just read that Twitter thing, bit harsh if you ask me. I've seen plenty of decent reviews for this so I'm still looking forward to it. I wouldn't explain myself if I were you Paul. Sounds like a right grumpy old fart. Calling you names and everying! Shockin!

< Message edited by The REAL Bozz -- 28/8/2011 11:46:10 AM >


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Post #: 31
RE: Imitations?! - 28/8/2011 1:52:14 PM   
adambatman82

 

Posts: 11156
Joined: 15/12/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: The REAL Bozz

quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

You just got served, son.


I just read that Twitter thing, bit harsh if you ask me. I've seen plenty of decent reviews for this so I'm still looking forward to it. I wouldn't explain myself if I were you Paul. Sounds like a right grumpy old fart. Calling you names and everying! Shockin!


Paul wasn't being serious in his original comment. He was taking the piss out of the sort of apologist nonsense that pops up in negative reviews of films like this.

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Post #: 32
RE: Imitations?! - 28/8/2011 2:14:39 PM   
The REAL Bozz


Posts: 3285
Joined: 15/5/2007
Thanks for clearing that up.

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Post #: 33
RE: Imitations?! - 29/8/2011 1:46:53 AM   
darth silas


Posts: 4949
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: My living room
Saw this tonight and thought it was AWESOME! Much better than the original.Momoa is a great Conan and the film is non stop action all the way.It also doesnt hold back on the violence and gore which is a rarity for these kind of films these days.

The only disappointment is that the Basil Pouledouris Conan theme isnt used.

This will be an instant purchase for me when it hits Blu Ray.

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Post #: 34
RE: Imitations?! - 29/8/2011 9:50:58 AM   
hairymonster11

 

Posts: 77
Joined: 16/9/2010
From: Aberdeen
Gotta agree, it was freakin awesome. Went in with very little hope for it after reading some terrible reviews but found myself loving it, Momoa was great as Conan and could see him easily becoming synonomous with the role if they get to make another couple sequels. Tops the original for gore and pace (found the Arnie version as slow as a snail on prozac). It's not a classic or anything close to that but it is a good action film. Rachel Nichols was the worst thing about this but i already expected that.

Go see this if you want to be entertained for a couple hours without having to stress your noggin with constant plot twists and such like but go in with low expectations or you'll most likely come out thinking it was the worst pile of crap since Stephen King's The Langoliers

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Post #: 35
- 31/8/2011 12:19:44 AM   
ARmy2510

 

Posts: 107
Joined: 21/4/2008
Not as bad to be funny. Not enough bloody to scary, too boring to be a bit exciting. It's like a bad shooter game - from location to location. No actual plot and every line of dialogues sound like "Ok, audience need to know what's going on (even nothing going on) do we need a get another location. So let get this shit throught and blow shit the fuck up". Now really I don't know what is worst - PotC 4 or Conan??

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Post #: 36
RE: - 31/8/2011 11:35:00 AM   
lukeyboy


Posts: 1638
Joined: 11/10/2005
From: Saaaaf Laaandaan you slaaag!
I hate to say it because I was really looking forward to seeing this as I am a big fan of the character and also of the original Schwarzenegger flick but this film was truly awful!

I woulda been happy with something similar to 300 which itself is no masterpiece but has bags of style, decent action sequences, nasty monsters and half-decent performances (yes really), but Conan has none of this. Yes there are heads being lopped off, some ok swordplay and nasty monsters of sorts are indeed present - and these things aren't actually that bad (the sand monster dudes and the water serpent thingy I'm looking at you!) but they were overshadowed big-time by the truly atrocious pacing of the movie and the shockingly bad dialogue, which thankfully was mostly mumbled by Jason Momoa as our (ahem) hero, but unfortunately clearly spoken by all else concerned.

Don't get me wrong, I don't expect Tarantino-esque dialogue or anything but they could at least of made an effort! Ask the question - "CONAN, what is best in life?" and compare the answers - "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women" with "I live, I love, I slay - I am content" and you basically get where I am coming from!! (Incidentally he is not asked that question in the new film only something similar which I can't quite remember, but you get the point)

I had hoped for something similar in tone to Crank to be honest - a hardcore gorefest with some style, humour, some memorable lines and it's tongue in it's cheek. Instead we've got something that plays out like a bad episode of Hercules: The Legendary Journey's but less enjoyable!

Sorry - but just one shitty star from me!

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Post #: 37
No concessions - The best it could be - 31/8/2011 10:14:35 PM   
Mindwick

 

Posts: 4
Joined: 5/5/2011
Sword and sorcery films cannot be on the level of intricately crafted art films. But Conan is the highest point any movie of this kind ever got. For the first time perhaps there is a blockbuster film that makes no concessions to attract a larger audience.
These films usually have stupid preadolescent humor (Thor) or comic relief (C3PO or JarJar in Star Wars) to attract children and teenagers, they have a love interest to attract women and are incredibly infuriating when they show the hero refuse to kill his dangerous enemy in cold blood or when he has fallen down (pseudomorality).
Refreshingly, this film has no silly humor, no comic relief, has sex but no love and shows the hero acting like anyone would in reality: you kill your enemy any which way you can.
Something lost in many reviews is how well the film keeps the spirit of the original Robert E. Howard stories. Again there are no concessions to Hollywood political correctness. Conan orders the woman around and there is no feminist turning of the tables. Conan's ways are not right for our society but they are faithful to the spirit of the original.
Like Peter Jackson, director of Lord of the Rings, this director, Nispel, did a fine job, making no concessions either. Nispel knew his decisions would make the film unappealing to many teens and women, guaranteeing loss of profits (the extreme violence alone guarantees no children). But he did it. This is one film that was not cooked up by marketing executives, the people who destroy films with pronouncements of the type “our statistics show we can attract a higher audience of women aged 25-45 (or men aged 65 and over in the midwest) if we add this scene or that dialogue.”

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Post #: 38
RE: No concessions - The best it could be - 1/9/2011 1:14:03 PM   
Piles


Posts: 5545
Joined: 6/8/2007
From: Whalley Range
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mindwick

Conan orders the woman around and there is no feminist turning of the tables.



Maybe if this was meant to show how much of a barbarian he was, or if it was to be a 'sign of the times', it would be fine. But it seems to be played out for comedic effect more than anything, and I certainly felt that the director thought it was hilarious. It didn't sit right at all.


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Post #: 39
RE: No concessions - The best it could be - 1/9/2011 1:24:24 PM   
Deviation


Posts: 27284
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Enemies of Film HQ
Didn't the original 1982 Conan have a rather powerful female character?


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dpp1978
There are certainly times where calling a person a cunt is not only reasonable, it is a gross understatement.

quote:


ORIGINAL: elab49
I really wish I could go down to see Privates

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Post #: 40
HMMPH...... - 2/9/2011 10:22:25 AM   
ROTGUT

 

Posts: 363
Joined: 14/7/2008
Not difficult to see why this thing tanked in the states. After watching it, you get the impression that everyone involved had put in an awful lot of blood, sweat and tears to get the film off the ground - but bottom line - it's still rubbish. That big prick Nispel has obviously never read a single Conan story in his entire life. And where's Arnie and John Milius when you need 'em. The old 1982 version is starting to look like a master work compared to this drearily mounted Scorpion King knock off. Momoa certainly looks like Conan - but he isn't given much to do apart from the usual "avenging my fathers death " bollocks. Only two sequences stand out - the hilarious human catapault scene and the battle with the sand demons which is very well staged. As for the rest? Fuggeddaboutit!!!! Hell - even the music was crap and in no way matches the grim savage majesty of Basil Poledouris' thumping martial epicness. Another missed opportunity I'm afraid - thanks to a talentless hack director and bloody short sighted producers. TWO STARS.

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Post #: 41
HMMPH...... - 2/9/2011 10:22:27 AM   
ROTGUT

 

Posts: 363
Joined: 14/7/2008
Not difficult to see why this thing tanked in the states. After watching it, you get the impression that everyone involved had put in an awful lot of blood, sweat and tears to get the film off the ground - but bottom line - it's still rubbish. That big prick Nispel has obviously never read a single Conan story in his entire life. And where's Arnie and John Milius when you need 'em. The old 1982 version is starting to look like a master work compared to this drearily mounted Scorpion King knock off. Momoa certainly looks like Conan - but he isn't given much to do apart from the usual "avenging my fathers death " bollocks. Only two sequences stand out - the hilarious human catapault scene and the battle with the sand demons which is very well staged. As for the rest? Fuggeddaboutit!!!! Hell - even the music was crap and in no way matches the grim savage majesty of Basil Poledouris' thumping martial epicness. Another missed opportunity I'm afraid - thanks to a talentless hack director and bloody short sighted producers. TWO STARS.

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Post #: 42
RE: HMMPH...... - 3/9/2011 5:36:17 PM   
Evil_Bob


Posts: 2870
Joined: 1/5/2006
From: GGGAAAHHH!!!
quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: The REAL Bozz

quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

You just got served, son.


I just read that Twitter thing, bit harsh if you ask me. I've seen plenty of decent reviews for this so I'm still looking forward to it. I wouldn't explain myself if I were you Paul. Sounds like a right grumpy old fart. Calling you names and everying! Shockin!


Paul wasn't being serious in his original comment. He was taking the piss out of the sort of apologist nonsense that pops up in negative reviews of films like this.


I didn't think this was obvious seeing as every other idiot on these boards uses that argument seriously. Maybe it's because I don't know Paul though. Can I buy you dinner?


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Post #: 43
RE: No concessions - The best it could be - 3/9/2011 5:39:29 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19049
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park
quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation

Didn't the original 1982 Conan have a rather powerful female character?



She was like a valkyrie


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Post #: 44
RE: No concessions - The best it could be - 7/9/2011 11:25:35 AM   
Timon


Posts: 14587
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Bristol
Momoa was ok and the sand warriors were cool, but everything else really wasn't very good at all.

In fact, I almost doozed off at one point and I say this as someone who was really looking forward to it.

Rubbish script, generic baddy, awful lines ("I will be a GOD!"), none of it really made much sense...

A disappointment

2/5

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Post #: 45
RE: No concessions - The best it could be - 7/9/2011 1:07:00 PM   
Deviation


Posts: 27284
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Enemies of Film HQ
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation

Didn't the original 1982 Conan have a rather powerful female character?



She was like a valkyrie



They killed so much beauty in that film. What a waste.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dpp1978
There are certainly times where calling a person a cunt is not only reasonable, it is a gross understatement.

quote:


ORIGINAL: elab49
I really wish I could go down to see Privates

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Post #: 46
RE: No concessions - The best it could be - 10/9/2011 11:35:40 AM   
kargon


Posts: 1024
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: BOWELS OF HELL
This looks shit

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Post #: 47
Conan - 14/9/2011 1:19:00 PM   
szoni

 

Posts: 32
Joined: 22/7/2011
just a little bit better than a part from Xenia or Hercules TV series.
the characters weren't really intriguing except the sorceress. By the way, why her forehead was blurred out?



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Post #: 48
Not A Patch On The Original - 9/11/2011 6:36:15 PM   
Bighousewill

 

Posts: 244
Joined: 5/12/2009
yes I have to say that I was confused with Conan The Destroyer and thought that that film was the original but I just realized this when I found the special edition dvd of Conan The Barbarian (The original pre destroyer) And it was such a good film that by comparison the 2011 version is utter garbage so just watch the original and you will see what I mean

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Post #: 49
RE: Absolutely spot on review... - 13/12/2011 12:04:59 AM   
DanTDavies

 

Posts: 69
Joined: 14/1/2007
I just watched this and actually I quite liked it. It reminded me of an old joke that's still on the web "how to be an evil overlord" and can't help but think that if Zim had read that he would have been much better off as he broke every rule in the book. Even his castle fell down for no structural reason

In any event it was what I expected from a film like this if the script had been a bit better it may have achieved cult status but as the script was dreadful I'll file it under extended episode of Hercules. With more nipples.

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Post #: 50
RE: Absolutely spot on review... - 13/12/2011 1:05:55 PM   
Rgirvan44


Posts: 19049
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park
Crom laughs at this puny remake!

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Post #: 51
RE: Absolutely spot on review... - 13/12/2011 1:06:26 PM   
kargon


Posts: 1024
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: BOWELS OF HELL
No No No No No

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"I SAY WHAT I LIKE AND I LIKE WHAT I BLOODY WELL SAY".

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES ANYTHING HAVE TO DO WITH VIETNAM?"

"YOU BETTER BE PUTTING AWAY THAT BLADE, OR YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, EVEN WHILE IT'S HAPPENING"


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Post #: 52
RE: Absolutely spot on review... - 13/12/2011 1:56:15 PM   
garvielloken


Posts: 1186
Joined: 23/10/2011
It's closer in tone to the original Howard stories than the Arnie version which I applaud, but it's a poor film and nowhere near as good as the 1982 version.

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Post #: 53
I agree - 12/1/2012 9:46:19 PM   
dannyfletch


Posts: 640
Joined: 25/5/2008
From: Bromley
This was a pretty poor remake or reboot. It just passes as light hearted sunday afternoon entertainment if you're bored and I can't say that there was a memorable fight scene or moment in the film. The boy who plays young Conan was a weed too, completely unconvincing as he takes on and kills about 4 barbarains single handedly. A dissapointment!

< Message edited by dannyfletch -- 12/1/2012 9:47:20 PM >

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Post #: 54
Better than expected Conan - 23/2/2012 10:35:49 PM   
lynnshep


Posts: 428
Joined: 17/1/2007
From: USA
Solid action film. Okay acting and plot. Decent CGI.

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Post #: 55
Better than expected Conan - 23/2/2012 10:35:50 PM   
lynnshep


Posts: 428
Joined: 17/1/2007
From: USA
Solid action film. Okay acting and plot. Decent CGI.

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Post #: 56
RE: Conan The Barbarian - 6/3/2012 7:29:22 PM   
Stringfellowfilms

 

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/3/2012
From: Denby dale west Yorkshire
Good action film does what its support to do. A film where you watch and don't have to think






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Post #: 57
RE: Conan The Barbarian - 6/3/2012 7:30:28 PM   
Stringfellowfilms

 

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/3/2012
From: Denby dale west Yorkshire
Good action film does what it's support to do. A film where just watch and don't have to think

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Post #: 58
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