quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

Ah, you must be new to the reviews section of the forums.

Just wait till Super 8 is released.

Is this really going to be that controversial?

I might take August off

I can't see it getting any less than four stars, possibly the full five, which will no doubt lead to endless posts of "EMPIRE GIVZ ALL THERE FRENDS FIVE STARZ!!!! YOU GUYS SUK!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

I would plough my way through MonsterCat

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

I desire MonsterCat to go down on me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UTB

quote:

ORIGINAL: NinjaShortbread212

Just reading recent posts, I know I haven't posted on this topic... I'm not a Bay fan but JEEZE! Do things really have to get so hot headed? You would think some of you were sworn enemies.

I think things need to chill down a bit.

Here is the order of things in major release review threads:

1. Review posted
2. Five or so comments on what a shit review it is.
3. Two or so comments questioning why the review is being reviewed
4. Inevitably, someone points out that the orginal post says "Post your comments on this article"
5. Comparison of star rating begins. If sequel, film is compared to previous film. If non-sequel, film compared to a blockbuster from 10 years ago. If given Five stars, film compared to Oscar winner from the 70's. If given 1 star, compared to Taken.
6. Comments questioning why Empire put said film on cover 7 months ago then give it shit review. 
7. Thread ends with a "well, I enjoyed it" comment 9 months later.

Rinse and repeat.

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

Ah, you must be new to the reviews section of the forums.

Just wait till Super 8 is released.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

If you can ask Spaldy to refrain from quoting a newbie poster with just an insult underneath then, that would be great.

Sorry Spaldy, but those sorts of posts only antagonise. The rule of empire has always been attack the post and not the poster. Ta.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wild about Wilder

Actually get a copy on a Friday off my mate as like the puzzles section, fighting Talk & film charts & as it don't cost me anything i'm prfectly willing 2 accept it.
Also will see T.D.O.M again in a couple of weeks to be sure of my judgement as have made mistakes before as in BatMan Begins didn't like it saw it again from a non fanboy perspective & enjoyed it a lot which may be my trouble with this?

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

quote:

ORIGINAL: elab49

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

Ah, you must be new to the reviews section of the forums.

Just wait till Super 8 is released.

Is this really going to be that controversial?

I might take August off

I can't see it getting any less than four stars, possibly the full five, which will no doubt lead to endless posts of "EMPIRE GIVZ ALL THERE FRENDS FIVE STARZ!!!! YOU GUYS SUK!"

I'm hoping the thread for the Straw Dogs remake will be glorious.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dpp1978
There are certainly times where calling a person a cunt is not only reasonable, it is a gross understatement.

quote:


ORIGINAL: elab49
I really wish I could go down to see Privates

quote:

ORIGINAL: satchwannad


What I deserve!!??
Hold on! what I deserve is basic human rights!, and that in life is all I deserve ,everything else is a bonus…
what I deserve in a movie?
I deserve my 10 euros worth of entertainment! which is exactly what I got., Mr bay is not trying to save the world! ehh???? maybe destroy it!!?
No he is trying to make you smile by showing you things that even 5 years ago would be impossible.
What I deserve??
Maybe as critics its time to judge movies in a different way maybe its time to say was I entertained yes/no? it would make for crap reviews and smaller magazine,
but fair enough your offering your opinion as is your right.
I have to ask as I do of the Oscars every year why does film's like the king snooozzz sorry speech win! When the majority of people in the WORLD did not care to see such? .and a film like say ohh like transformers 2 one of the highest grossing films of all time gets noting??
Ohh the snobs will say "o lord thy acting in thine film was rather brutish "..whilst this amazing rom com has juxtaposition et all yadda yadda…..
They say look at the talent in the film the art direction etc..
whooo hold on there betsy!! look at the art direction in theses film look at the genius of these blockbusters
I look at movies and video games even the shit ones different, people look at the Mona Lisa and see a masterpiece?? I look at the Mona Lisa and see crap on a canvas !
art is what the few can do and the remainder strive to do so am I comparing transformers? to the Mona Lisa ok yes I am why??? Because we take everything for granted we appreciate the talent in history an oil painting here a bridge there., and forget about the wonders that surround us now and the age of talent.
the technology, the direction bayham gave us , is a work of art the graphics I wonder if Leonardo was alive to day could do it??/ thousands can paint better then him alive today why should we not celebrate them.
O fӣk I just realised transformers is an art house movie oh!!
What I deserve?? Was the movie a bit disjointed…yes. Was the movie slightly weird at the start??. YES
Was miss Huntington crap lol again yes….
was the movie a technical marvel. Yes…was the heart and soul of all the people working on it put into it. Hell sure looks like it…could they do better?? Ehh define better?? more explosions?? Then ehh yes
Was the movie entertaining hell yes J .
So what I deserve…………… I got!! J have a nice day
Kindest regards
satchwannad

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetladybrick

Chris Hewitt's review is a little bit cynical and elitist (especially in that rather sharp little summary, very snarky). Dark of the Moon is a massive improvement on Revenge of the Fallen- we spent that entire film waiting on a villain that got his arse handed to him the minute he actually set his foot on Earth. DOTM doesn't have the charm of the first outing- the simple, Spielbergian innocence of a boy buying a car that turns out to be an alien (at this point it's essentially ET with a sweet paintjob, or maybe something that Joe Dante would have owned at the height of his powers), but it has significantlly reduced the purile humour, pointless supporting roles (now with 80% less of Sam Witwicki's irritating parents), racial stereotyping (not sure how you do that with alien robots but they pulled it off nicely last time around apparently) and Megan Fox (who seems to have fallen off the planet- good times). Sure, there are some utterly unnecesary additions (Wang, for one or an underused Malkovich- always a pleasure to see Alan Tudyk though) and a bit too much patchwork on the plot (no need for a human liaison for the Decepticons- and if there was, you'd think that option would have expired after the previous film's attempted global invasion). The repetetive use of the same three profanities gives the impression the dialogue was written by a 12 year old, but since that's probably this film's target audience you really should expect that (though I don't think it's necessary... but hey). A lot of things are shoehorned in- Megatron, Starscream, Shia LaBeouf... but all in all, but the last act is a dystopian nightmare that is more Terminator than Terminator Salvation ever was. Visually, it is absolutely stunning, and the action has all of the breathtaking impact of the original and then some. As an action film about giant robots that want to kick the crap out of each other, you can't fault it. As family entertainment, it takes itself too seriously overall, with moments of

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spaldron

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

If you can ask Spaldy to refrain from quoting a newbie poster with just an insult underneath then, that would be great.

Sorry Spaldy, but those sorts of posts only antagonise. The rule of empire has always been attack the post and not the poster. Ta.

WTF! Alright pick on me again as usual and ignore the hundreds of other abusive and "downright insulting to the intelligence" posts I've seen here! Sorry but if a newbie or anyone else posts a dipshit statement I'm within my right to raise the issue.



And another thing how come their posts got three stars even though they were worse than mine and I only got two? That's just pure hypocrisy like!!!!!!!!!

!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emyr Thy King

Does anyone get the impression that he seems pleased/relieved that Michael Bay is leaving the franchise?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darth Marenghi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emyr Thy King

Does anyone get the impression that he seems pleased/relieved that Michael Bay is leaving the franchise?

Well, who wouldn't be? Tyrese wouldn't be the first actor who disliked working with Bay.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AntGC

What people need to understand is that the story line will never be "Ridley Scott" standard because its based on a childs cartoon for gods sake!!.

quote:

ORIGINAL: neopol

This is the third and final installment of the iconoclastic Transformers franchise.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darth Marenghi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emyr Thy King

Does anyone get the impression that he seems pleased/relieved that Michael Bay is leaving the franchise?

Well, who wouldn't be? Tyrese wouldn't be the first actor who disliked working with Bay.

quote:

ORIGINAL: massacretheatre

During the decline of the Roman Empire, the games put on at the Colosseum became increasingly absurd. They begun filling the arena with water, ships, wilder animals, more exuberant battles etc, and why? Because when any kind of entity is on the verge of collapse, they become more ridiculous and out of whack than ever. Michael Bay's "Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon” (do Pink Floyd have copyright over the word "side”?) is important for a singular reason: it symbolizes the progressive inevitability of the end of 3D cinema. No it is not the end of stupid, pointless films, stupid films will always be made, and there will always be a Michael Bay to make them, however this will be one of the last times audiences will have to pay 20% extra for their ticket plus glasses charges, the end is so utterly nigh for 3D – and for this, and this alone, I thank Transformers 3. But let's put the technology "debate” (there isn't a debate) on ice for the moment, and let's focus on the actual content of Transformers 3, of which is impressively offensive.

The plot isn't especially worth going in to - it is doubtful many of those involved in making the film even have a vague idea of the plot, but essentially the mechanics of the so called narrative allow for the usual lurid misogyny, the sexualisation of a child's toy, racial generalizations which border on racism, MASSIVE EXPLOSIONS and more within a 2 hours plus struggle of a film which serves to fulfil the Bay-ist pornographic sensibility.

Charisma vacuum Shia Labeouf stars alongside debut "actress” Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Getting the role whilst meeting director Michael Bay on the set of a Victoria Secret advert, her role is nothing more than another car or another explosion in the film, and it her best another contribution to the culture of misogyny. A particular scene stands out, in which a man talks about a car: "doesn't she have incredible curves” and more increasingly excessive lurid comments which lead us to the realization that to Michael Bay a female is nothing more than a disposable THING to fulfil men's voyeuristic desires and have nothing valuable to offer other than their appearance and (if you're really lucky and they are actually worth a man's time) a passing interest in cars.

Cameos with John Tuturro, Frances McDormand and John Malcovich are nothing more than acting set-peices to plug the holes for the lack of acting ability from the leading cast; Tuturo particularly excels however these cameos serve to only enlighten us that Michael Bay sees acting as another special effect, there is nothing cinematic about this disgustingly mechanical (pun intended) franchise. Because of this, you can't really judge this as a film, and it's important to recognize this in order to retain some of one's sanity.

Yes, we're a planet of morons and this will go against the promising trend that "Inception” and "The Dark Knight” set in which there seemed to be some kind of second wave of enlightenment over mankind and people seemed to want to actually THINK when going to see a big budget mainstream film – Transformers 3 demands nothing of your intellect or imagination, just of your wallet and WAY too much of your time (hilariously it runs for more than 2 and a half hours). Its inevitable climb to the top of the box-office will briefly reignite belief that there is still hope for 3D (at least with the studio's money men), however what about for us? Don't worry we've done our research here. The most successful 3D film ever in terms of money earned against money spent is a 1960's film called "The Stewardesses” of which the tagline is: "the leggy lovelies leap off the screen and in to your lap”. "Transformers 3” is in good company here, it is a lurid, soft-core porn sex-comedy hybrid that is difficult to not find offensive.

Famously, Bay once described his film making style as "fucking the frame". This is opposed to, for example, taking the frame out for a casual stroll on a Sunday afternoon, maybe take the frame out to see it's favourite play, or perhaps even going out to dinner with the frame and offering to pay the bill AND the frames cab home. Bay seems to revel in being some kind of shameless cinematic anti-Christ, and we seem helpless to stop him from raping our cinema. And yes, it is our cinema, and this is artistic rape and it really needs to stop.

quote:

ORIGINAL: darth silas

quote:

ORIGINAL: massacretheatre

During the decline of the Roman Empire, the games put on at the Colosseum became increasingly absurd. They begun filling the arena with water, ships, wilder animals, more exuberant battles etc, and why? Because when any kind of entity is on the verge of collapse, they become more ridiculous and out of whack than ever. Michael Bay's "Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon” (do Pink Floyd have copyright over the word "side”?) is important for a singular reason: it symbolizes the progressive inevitability of the end of 3D cinema. No it is not the end of stupid, pointless films, stupid films will always be made, and there will always be a Michael Bay to make them, however this will be one of the last times audiences will have to pay 20% extra for their ticket plus glasses charges, the end is so utterly nigh for 3D – and for this, and this alone, I thank Transformers 3. But let's put the technology "debate” (there isn't a debate) on ice for the moment, and let's focus on the actual content of Transformers 3, of which is impressively offensive.

The plot isn't especially worth going in to - it is doubtful many of those involved in making the film even have a vague idea of the plot, but essentially the mechanics of the so called narrative allow for the usual lurid misogyny, the sexualisation of a child's toy, racial generalizations which border on racism, MASSIVE EXPLOSIONS and more within a 2 hours plus struggle of a film which serves to fulfil the Bay-ist pornographic sensibility.

Charisma vacuum Shia Labeouf stars alongside debut "actress” Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Getting the role whilst meeting director Michael Bay on the set of a Victoria Secret advert, her role is nothing more than another car or another explosion in the film, and it her best another contribution to the culture of misogyny. A particular scene stands out, in which a man talks about a car: "doesn't she have incredible curves” and more increasingly excessive lurid comments which lead us to the realization that to Michael Bay a female is nothing more than a disposable THING to fulfil men's voyeuristic desires and have nothing valuable to offer other than their appearance and (if you're really lucky and they are actually worth a man's time) a passing interest in cars.

Cameos with John Tuturro, Frances McDormand and John Malcovich are nothing more than acting set-peices to plug the holes for the lack of acting ability from the leading cast; Tuturo particularly excels however these cameos serve to only enlighten us that Michael Bay sees acting as another special effect, there is nothing cinematic about this disgustingly mechanical (pun intended) franchise. Because of this, you can't really judge this as a film, and it's important to recognize this in order to retain some of one's sanity.

Yes, we're a planet of morons and this will go against the promising trend that "Inception” and "The Dark Knight” set in which there seemed to be some kind of second wave of enlightenment over mankind and people seemed to want to actually THINK when going to see a big budget mainstream film – Transformers 3 demands nothing of your intellect or imagination, just of your wallet and WAY too much of your time (hilariously it runs for more than 2 and a half hours). Its inevitable climb to the top of the box-office will briefly reignite belief that there is still hope for 3D (at least with the studio's money men), however what about for us? Don't worry we've done our research here. The most successful 3D film ever in terms of money earned against money spent is a 1960's film called "The Stewardesses” of which the tagline is: "the leggy lovelies leap off the screen and in to your lap”. "Transformers 3” is in good company here, it is a lurid, soft-core porn sex-comedy hybrid that is difficult to not find offensive.

Famously, Bay once described his film making style as "fucking the frame". This is opposed to, for example, taking the frame out for a casual stroll on a Sunday afternoon, maybe take the frame out to see it's favourite play, or perhaps even going out to dinner with the frame and offering to pay the bill AND the frames cab home. Bay seems to revel in being some kind of shameless cinematic anti-Christ, and we seem helpless to stop him from raping our cinema. And yes, it is our cinema, and this is artistic rape and it really needs to stop.

Mark Kemode,welcome to the boards!

quote:

ORIGINAL: massacretheatre

During the decline of the Roman Empire, the games put on at the Colosseum became increasingly absurd. They begun filling the arena with water, ships, wilder animals, more exuberant battles etc, and why? Because when any kind of entity is on the verge of collapse, they become more ridiculous and out of whack than ever. Michael Bay’s “Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon” (do Pink Floyd have copyright over the word “side”?) is important for a singular reason: it symbolizes the progressive inevitability of the end of 3D cinema. No it is not the end of stupid, pointless films, stupid films will always be made, and there will always be a Michael Bay to make them, however this will be one of the last times audiences will have to pay 20% extra for their ticket plus glasses charges, the end is so utterly nigh for 3D – and for this, and this alone, I thank Transformers 3. But let’s put the technology “debate” (there isn’t a debate) on ice for the moment, and let’s focus on the actual content of Transformers 3, of which is impressively offensive.

The plot isn’t especially worth going in to - it is doubtful many of those involved in making the film even have a vague idea of the plot, but essentially the mechanics of the so called narrative allow for the usual lurid misogyny, the sexualisation of a child’s toy, racial generalizations which border on racism, MASSIVE EXPLOSIONS and more within a 2 hours plus struggle of a film which serves to fulfil the Bay-ist pornographic sensibility.

Charisma vacuum Shia Labeouf stars alongside debut “actress” Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Getting the role whilst meeting director Michael Bay on the set of a Victoria Secret advert, her role is nothing more than another car or another explosion in the film, and it her best another contribution to the culture of misogyny. A particular scene stands out, in which a man talks about a car: “doesn’t she have incredible curves” and more increasingly excessive lurid comments which lead us to the realization that to Michael Bay a female is nothing more than a disposable THING to fulfil men’s voyeuristic desires and have nothing valuable to offer other than their appearance and (if you’re really lucky and they are actually worth a man’s time) a passing interest in cars.

Cameos with John Tuturro, Frances McDormand and John Malcovich are nothing more than acting set-peices to plug the holes for the lack of acting ability from the leading cast; Tuturo particularly excels however these cameos serve to only enlighten us that Michael Bay sees acting as another special effect, there is nothing cinematic about this disgustingly mechanical (pun intended) franchise. Because of this, you can’t really judge this as a film, and it’s important to recognize this in order to retain some of one’s sanity.

Yes, we’re a planet of morons and this will go against the promising trend that “Inception” and “The Dark Knight” set in which there seemed to be some kind of second wave of enlightenment over mankind and people seemed to want to actually THINK when going to see a big budget mainstream film – Transformers 3 demands nothing of your intellect or imagination, just of your wallet and WAY too much of your time (hilariously it runs for more than 2 and a half hours). Its inevitable climb to the top of the box-office will briefly reignite belief that there is still hope for 3D (at least with the studio’s money men), however what about for us? Don’t worry we’ve done our research here. The most successful 3D film ever in terms of money earned against money spent is a 1960’s film called “The Stewardesses” of which the tagline is: “the leggy lovelies leap off the screen and in to your lap”. “Transformers 3” is in good company here, it is a lurid, soft-core porn sex-comedy hybrid that is difficult to not find offensive.

Famously, Bay once described his film making style as "fucking the frame". This is opposed to, for example, taking the frame out for a casual stroll on a Sunday afternoon, maybe take the frame out to see it's favourite play, or perhaps even going out to dinner with the frame and offering to pay the bill AND the frames cab home. Bay seems to revel in being some kind of shameless cinematic anti-Christ, and we seem helpless to stop him from raping our cinema. And yes, it is our cinema, and this is artistic rape and it really needs to stop.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Your Funny Uncle

Yet it makes millions so he must be doing something right....

quote:

ORIGINAL: massacretheatre

During the decline of the Roman Empire, the games put on at the Colosseum became increasingly absurd. They begun filling the arena with water, ships, wilder animals, more exuberant battles etc, and why? Because when any kind of entity is on the verge of collapse, they become more ridiculous and out of whack than ever. Michael Bay's "Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon” (do Pink Floyd have copyright over the word "side”?) is important for a singular reason: it symbolizes the progressive inevitability of the end of 3D cinema. No it is not the end of stupid, pointless films, stupid films will always be made, and there will always be a Michael Bay to make them, however this will be one of the last times audiences will have to pay 20% extra for their ticket plus glasses charges, the end is so utterly nigh for 3D – and for this, and this alone, I thank Transformers 3. But let's put the technology "debate” (there isn't a debate) on ice for the moment, and let's focus on the actual content of Transformers 3, of which is impressively offensive.

The plot isn't especially worth going in to - it is doubtful many of those involved in making the film even have a vague idea of the plot, but essentially the mechanics of the so called narrative allow for the usual lurid misogyny, the sexualisation of a child's toy, racial generalizations which border on racism, MASSIVE EXPLOSIONS and more within a 2 hours plus struggle of a film which serves to fulfil the Bay-ist pornographic sensibility.

Charisma vacuum Shia Labeouf stars alongside debut "actress” Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Getting the role whilst meeting director Michael Bay on the set of a Victoria Secret advert, her role is nothing more than another car or another explosion in the film, and it her best another contribution to the culture of misogyny. A particular scene stands out, in which a man talks about a car: "doesn't she have incredible curves” and more increasingly excessive lurid comments which lead us to the realization that to Michael Bay a female is nothing more than a disposable THING to fulfil men's voyeuristic desires and have nothing valuable to offer other than their appearance and (if you're really lucky and they are actually worth a man's time) a passing interest in cars.

Cameos with John Tuturro, Frances McDormand and John Malcovich are nothing more than acting set-peices to plug the holes for the lack of acting ability from the leading cast; Tuturo particularly excels however these cameos serve to only enlighten us that Michael Bay sees acting as another special effect, there is nothing cinematic about this disgustingly mechanical (pun intended) franchise. Because of this, you can't really judge this as a film, and it's important to recognize this in order to retain some of one's sanity.

Yes, we're a planet of morons and this will go against the promising trend that "Inception” and "The Dark Knight” set in which there seemed to be some kind of second wave of enlightenment over mankind and people seemed to want to actually THINK when going to see a big budget mainstream film – Transformers 3 demands nothing of your intellect or imagination, just of your wallet and WAY too much of your time (hilariously it runs for more than 2 and a half hours). Its inevitable climb to the top of the box-office will briefly reignite belief that there is still hope for 3D (at least with the studio's money men), however what about for us? Don't worry we've done our research here. The most successful 3D film ever in terms of money earned against money spent is a 1960's film called "The Stewardesses” of which the tagline is: "the leggy lovelies leap off the screen and in to your lap”. "Transformers 3” is in good company here, it is a lurid, soft-core porn sex-comedy hybrid that is difficult to not find offensive.

Famously, Bay once described his film making style as "fucking the frame". This is opposed to, for example, taking the frame out for a casual stroll on a Sunday afternoon, maybe take the frame out to see it's favourite play, or perhaps even going out to dinner with the frame and offering to pay the bill AND the frames cab home. Bay seems to revel in being some kind of shameless cinematic anti-Christ, and we seem helpless to stop him from raping our cinema. And yes, it is our cinema, and this is artistic rape and it really needs to stop.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rinc
She's supposed to be 13! I'd want her to be very attractive though

quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pigeon Army
Stop being mean to Deviation

No.