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ORIGINAL: jokerpoker123

I'm sure I will enjoy this alot more than the kings speech (yawn) that film was boring, man stutering on the cinema screen - who cares it was historical I got enough of that crap at school. yes this is definatly gonna be alot better and more fun.

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ORIGINAL: adambatman82

I saw the film yesterday, and I think they're being a bit kind. It was horrendous.

Copy and paste of my review -


Optimistic. If there was one word worthy of describing the run-up to this, the fourth film in Jerry Bruckheimer's Pirates Of The Caribbean series it was "optimistic”. Optimistic that the bloated epics that were the previous two films in the series were a thing of the past. Optimistic that the overly complicated pirate politics of old had passed. Optimistic that we would *finally* get to see Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow head up a ripping good yarn, an adventure befitting of the character.

We were wrong to be optimistic.

Seemingly not learning from the mistakes of old, history repeats and Bruckheimer, alongside new "captain”, Rob Marshall (Chicago, Nine) turn in a work that is derivative, tired and dull. Having retired the series for five years now, one might assume that a degree of invigoration may be present, alas that isn't the case at all. While the film does have a number of things over its predecessors (a far more likeable supporting cast for one), at no point did anything feel fresh, nor did it feel exciting. Any sense of danger is lost in the cartoon super-heroics, and any form of sincerity abandoned ship long ago. It's the sort of lazy trash that anti-Hollywood rhetoric is born of.

And just when you think things can't get any worse, an incredibly poorly judged trope on religion pops up. For a start the series has already once mused on notions of mortality and faith, in the largely successful first film, so the addition of it here is unnecessary. Not only that, but the subject is handled so haphazardly that it can't help but feel tacked on, in some kind of almighty quest for depth. The less said about the similarly executed "feminism” message the better (note the use of quotation marks).

This writer can't help but think that given a streamlined run time of 90 minutes and an inventive filmmaker (*cough* Terry Gilliam *cough*) the character of Jack Sparrow could be genuinely entertaining. Depp brings something to that character that is generally lacking in mainstream American cinema, yet its almost as if Disney and Bruckheimer don't actually know what to do with him. Placing him at the centre of bloated, over ambitious 140 minute epics just isn't working, nor has it been doing so for several years now. Similarly with the supporting cast; quite how the fantastic Ian McShane, here channeling his finest creation the wonderful Al Swearengen from television's Deadwood, could remain so dull defies all logic.

The box office reciepts will no doubt suggest otherwise, but Pirates Of The Caribbean : On Stranger Tides is little more than an uninspired exercise in blockbuster cinema, an affair made all the more sorry when one considers the great potential that the series once held.

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ORIGINAL: Gazdance

And so the first summer disappointment has arrived, it would seem.

I enjoyed the 1st - it was a highlight in the dull cinema summer of 2003. It's the only one I own and I was reminded of how fun it is on a repeat viewing last week.

The sequels were disappointing and really dull.

I had hoped that this would be a return to form - the trailers suggested that it might be so - however, with this and other reviews pointing out how it is anything but I will give this a miss. Maybe I'll catch on blu ray or TV one day. Shame.

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ORIGINAL: daniju77

a little unfair...
I saw it last week and really enjoyed it as an improvement on the 3rd film.
It did lack some of the piratical spirit and look of the trilogy, but whatever it lost in style it more than made for in actually having a logical plot, fun characters and good set pieces- surely the staple of any popcorn blockbuster?
And who better to play Blackbeard than Al Swearagen? Apart from maybe Brian Blessed...
But the real surprise in a summer Bruckheimer movie was the restrained and effective use of CGI, giving it a much more old-school feel, as opposed to the headache inducing Potters and Thors of late, which hasn't even been mentioned in any review yet.
All in all, deserving of 4 stars, surely not 2.

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Fair point about Bruckheimer, but you're unwise to assume Depp isn't doing this out of integrity: he has made it public in numerous interviews (even before POTC 1) that he picks roles out of interest. Being an actor, I wouldn't be surprised if he allows finance to factor into that calculation occasionally, especially now he's a family man approaching his fifties, but I'm confident his primary motivation is the role. My point is, he's doing POTC 4 because he enjoys the role, and as we know from The Tourist, Nick of Time, Alice In Wonderland and The Ninth Gate (although I quite like the latter), Depp doesn't necessarily have the judgement to turn a project down because it's a bad film. And it's a fallacy to contrast him with the 'good sense' cast members who didn't return, since Geoffrey Rush, Kevin McNally and Keith Richards also returned - of the cast members offered parts in the 4th film, only Bloom and Knightley didn't return! One wouldn't claim either of those actors (especially Bloom) to have particularly strong 'artistic integrity'. On a similar note, one wouldn't typically say that directors like Woody Allen, Jim Jarmusch, Kathryn Bigelow or Michael Winterbottom lack artistic integrity, yet it certainly can't be said that all their films are good. So my conclusion is, just be careful of whom you accuse of lacking artistic integrity, because your implied assumption that 'artistic integrity = good filmmaking' is wrong.

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ORIGINAL: J-O-H-N-O

I'm just wondering whether Empire deliberately hold back on posting poor reviews of big movies until the last minute? And I'm not talking about compared to sites who have seen bootleg copies etc. For example The Guardian newspaper had their review out a week ago and Empire is meant to be at the cutting edge of movie news. I'm a long time subsriber & enjoy the magazine but this is happening far too often for me. I want Empire to be the first to review a new movie in the UK, not the last. End of rant. :D

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ORIGINAL: brucejackiejet

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Fair point about Bruckheimer, but you're unwise to assume Depp isn't doing this out of integrity: he has made it public in numerous interviews (even before POTC 1) that he picks roles out of interest. Being an actor, I wouldn't be surprised if he allows finance to factor into that calculation occasionally, especially now he's a family man approaching his fifties, but I'm confident his primary motivation is the role. My point is, he's doing POTC 4 because he enjoys the role, and as we know from The Tourist, Nick of Time, Alice In Wonderland and The Ninth Gate (although I quite like the latter), Depp doesn't necessarily have the judgement to turn a project down because it's a bad film. And it's a fallacy to contrast him with the 'good sense' cast members who didn't return, since Geoffrey Rush, Kevin McNally and Keith Richards also returned - of the cast members offered parts in the 4th film, only Bloom and Knightley didn't return! One wouldn't claim either of those actors (especially Bloom) to have particularly strong 'artistic integrity'. On a similar note, one wouldn't typically say that directors like Woody Allen, Jim Jarmusch, Kathryn Bigelow or Michael Winterbottom lack artistic integrity, yet it certainly can't be said that all their films are good. So my conclusion is, just be careful of whom you accuse of lacking artistic integrity, because your implied assumption that 'artistic integrity = good filmmaking' is wrong.

I think it's safe to say that in this case Mr Depp went purely for the paycheck. To imply that there was any sort of genuine integrity/interest in the role 4th time out when he was paid $56MILLION is perhaps a little optimistic. Having said all this I absolutely don't blame Depp at all for going for the money - as mentioned above he's a family man and doing this sort of project no doubt allows him the financial freedom to choose others that actually do interest him.

I think it's definitely possible as an actor to balance roles you like with roles that'll bump up the bank balance. Hell I'd make Scary Movie 15 if someone offered me that kind of money! :D  

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ORIGINAL: J-O-H-N-O

I'm just wondering whether Empire deliberately hold back on posting poor reviews of big movies until the last minute? And I'm not talking about compared to sites who have seen bootleg copies etc. For example The Guardian newspaper had their review out a week ago and Empire is meant to be at the cutting edge of movie news. I'm a long time subsriber & enjoy the magazine but this is happening far too often for me. I want Empire to be the first to review a new movie in the UK, not the last. End of rant. :D

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ORIGINAL: Darth Marenghi

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ORIGINAL: J-O-H-N-O

I'm just wondering whether Empire deliberately hold back on posting poor reviews of big movies until the last minute? And I'm not talking about compared to sites who have seen bootleg copies etc. For example The Guardian newspaper had their review out a week ago and Empire is meant to be at the cutting edge of movie news. I'm a long time subsriber & enjoy the magazine but this is happening far too often for me. I want Empire to be the first to review a new movie in the UK, not the last. End of rant. :D

Empire were under an embargo until this week, I believe.

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ORIGINAL: davidone

Took the kids and all of us enjoyed it from start to finish, its never going to be an oscar winner but these type of films never are, entertained all ages and thats what these films are all about.....brilliant !!

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ORIGINAL: porntrooper

I did watcha clip somewhere which was a brief snippet of Jack escaping the courthouse in London, and I have to say the action direction and staging of that scene looked fucking terrible. Nowhere near the fluid, slapstick action of the previous movies. It looked horribly stiff. Anyway, I'll see what I think later.

Quick question, how well is the 3D done? No 2D showings available so I'm gutted, 3D does my pissing head in.