oui3d
Posts: 648
Joined: 10/11/2005
From: Bedford UK
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No, really, It Is as bad as reported. Possibly worse,
Nothing to with studio interference here. There's just a cack-handed, nonsensical film that leaves you indifferent almost before the titles have run.
If a film is made 3 times, once on paper, once on set and once in the edit then there was never a film to begin with. The script had to have been awful. On set the director probably thought he could use the comic as a storyboard. (News for you, doesn't work, making a film is an active process)
So by the time you get to the edit, what you have on your hands is an utter disaster. There really is nothing to redeem this film, I'd have cut a trailer, burnt the rushes and claimed on the insurance. There's not the coverage for a 70 minute film so there's been obvious reshoots, parts of the film are told twice. (still didn't care) and the pacing is just.... blehh... No sense of narrative direction, no urgency, no character development, no style, nothing. Essentially it's like a 5 year old telling a story, there's an unconnected string of events and then the bad guy dies.. THE END.
Not only does it play badly it looks awful too, the cinematography is a mess ranging from general inconsistency shot to shot; to too dark night / interior scenes; to insane colour timing choices (and i don't mean the imaginary battle either) I mean the crap vignette effect on the opening or what may become the 21st century's Cybill Sheperd / Star Trek Bird filter. This is a strange blur that is added to the skin of (the eternally Red & Sweaty, not my words, but true) Megan Fox's face which gives her the appearance of a ambulating, botoxed mannequin. really how bad does an actresses skin have to be that they can't track out a few spots. (Unless she has a beard?)
Looks like everyone involved realised they had a lemon on their hands an figured they'd cut their losses. Not watching this film is the best thing you can do. I'm going to wait until Red Read Redemption Undead Nightmare to get my cowboy/undead scares and pretend Jonah Hex never existed.
0/5 stars and a punch in the bollocks for wasting my time.
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No French, German, Spanish or Scandinavian film company is allowed to release a film in America. No British film company is allowed to release a film in America. And yet we allow America 100% access to our domestic market.
The best Star Wars film was directed by a 55 year old journeyman. Mental isn't it?
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Jonah Hex - 
RE: Pig awful, clumsy, ugly & pointless - 
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