Trailer For Vampires Suck Online

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Trailer For Vampires Suck Online - 8/7/2010 9:28:11 AM

Empire Admin

Posts: 26334
Joined: 29/6/2005

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Post #: 1

- 8/7/2010 9:28:11 AM

xzynomorpher

Posts: 325
Joined: 22/11/2009

You know, this one doesnt actually look that bad...
I did smile when Jacob talked about having to take off his shirt every 10 minutes and at least all the jokes seem to be centred around the story.

Im not saying im going to go see it, and it probebly is crap... but I do find that this looks alot better than all of their other films.

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Post #: 2

Doesn't Suck - 8/7/2010 9:42:30 AM

Kurtis93

Posts: 45
Joined: 26/5/2009

I laughed too, it looks fun.

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Post #: 3

- 8/7/2010 10:32:03 AM

fireboy

Posts: 184
Joined: 17/8/2006
From: UK

Fucking shit

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Post #: 4

Hmmm - 8/7/2010 10:37:32 AM

mroobalooba

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/3/2006
From: Cornwall

Empire you've used the wrong poster/image.....that's the poster from the other vampire comedy movie thing called 'suck' starring iggy pop and Alice Cooper!

In all fairness 'Twilight' is probably one of the easier films to make a spoof of....although every other spoof these guys have directed has resulted in utter rubbish.

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Post #: 5

RE: Hmmm - 8/7/2010 11:22:10 AM

Edward Nygma

Posts: 711
Joined: 28/12/2005

Empire sucks! For posting this GODAWFUL trailer! That's a minute of my life I'm never getting back! Man, these guys are to comedy what Michael Bay is to the French New Wave...

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"Hey! I don't need no scrubs..."

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Post #: 6

- 8/7/2010 12:20:00 PM

freemantle_uk

Posts: 70
Joined: 29/2/2008

Just why bother reporting what Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are doing, just why? Those of people who deserve no media attention at all: we need to let their career die as quickly as possible. Who going to be the audience for Vampire Sucks? Twi-hards are not going to sit there and see their heroes be insulted whilst Twi-haters are cinema fans and horror nuts so they will get no joy out the film.

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Post #: 7

- 8/7/2010 1:01:33 PM

dunstabledoug

Posts: 63
Joined: 17/2/2006

You've definitely used the wrong poster here Empire.......

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Post #: 8

RE: Trailer For Vampires Suck Online - 8/7/2010 5:03:52 PM

captainrentboy

Posts: 678
Joined: 16/3/2008
From: South Wales

Sooo I gave the trailer a chance, even though every other film those two douchebags have 'directed' have been God awful, and suprise surprise it was the most painfully unfunny two minutes of my entire life. Ironically the trailers for the genuine Twilight films are around 20x more hysterical than that utter shite.
I honestly don't understand what's supposed to be amusing.

Although I can hear the comments from other cinema goers, once this hits future screenings, echoing around my head already..
''HAHAHA, he turned into a tiny Dog instead of a Wolf, LOL!!''
''HAHAHA, a girl that supports Team Edward hit the Team Jacob supporting girl with a shovel, LOL!''
''HAHAHA, Chinese takeout, but it's not the actual food they want it's the man that's delivering it they want to eat, GEDDIT? LOL!!''

Kill me now

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Post #: 9

Everything Sucks In That Clip...Except The Vampires - 8/7/2010 8:16:45 PM

BenTramer

Posts: 869
Joined: 18/3/2009

How Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are allowed to make movies is beyond me, especially comedies. These people have no comic timing whatsoever, they clearly have friends in high places who keep getting them work. For God's sake, stop making this drivel and give people with real talent the break they deserve instead.

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Post #: 10

just once, - 8/7/2010 8:20:14 PM

chola1

Posts: 45
Joined: 2/12/2005

would it kill you to just tell us, and not put a bloody link up? we're all grown ups. none of us want to watch this turds. are you not doing your job as unbiased journalists by telling us this films out and that's all., and anyone who's received large blows to the heads and wanting to see it going to the flicks and watching it. and then being sterilised. just to be sure...

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Post #: 11

Ordering Chinese. - 8/7/2010 8:59:23 PM

Kev2012

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/4/2006

That 'gag' was used in Buffy series 3. They did it better. As for this rubbish, at least it looks more enjoyable than the Twilight nonsense.

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Post #: 12

Spades in face - 8/7/2010 10:33:06 PM

teekay

Posts: 1
Joined: 14/9/2009

always funny. the rest can die.

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Post #: 13

- 12/7/2010 12:30:33 AM

BethN21286

Posts: 565
Joined: 1/10/2005

well there's now officially a vampire movie worse than van helsing.

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Post #: 14

RE: - 12/7/2010 11:18:06 AM

Judge

Posts: 177
Joined: 13/7/2008
From: Nottingham

The twilight saga is full of unintentional gags to begin with. The whole boy taking off his shirt too much to show off his body caused laughs in the original. There's nothing clever about taking an unintentional laugh and trying to make it intentional. Its not original or funny. I absolutely cannot stand these two talentless hacks.

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Post #: 15

RE: Everything Sucks In That Clip...Except The Vampires - 12/7/2010 1:16:37 PM

Frank Castle

Posts: 2671
Joined: 14/10/2005
From: Parts Unknown

quote:

ORIGINAL: BenTramer

How Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are allowed to make movies is beyond me, especially comedies. These people have no comic timing whatsoever, they clearly have friends in high places who keep getting them work. For God's sake, stop making this drivel and give people with real talent the break they deserve instead.

Might have some thing to do with the combined worldwide gross of there previous 4 movies being around $280 million.They prob cost very little to make as well. Of course all those films are shit but the chavs love em so they have an audience.

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Post #: 16

RE: Everything Sucks In That Clip...Except The Vampires - 12/7/2010 2:45:01 PM

Edward Nygma

Posts: 711
Joined: 28/12/2005

Why do those "spoof" movies always choose such easy or misjudged targets?

Like Scary Movie making fun of Scream...which in itself was a satire...of all the horror films to choose from! Jeez!

Twilight doesn't even need to be parodied, the films themselves are ridiculous enough! It's like picking on a retard, you just don't do it!!!

Films like Airplane!, Top Secret and Naked Gun at least picked on worthy genres and it worked because the original material was so serious and the jokes were deadpan. Bottom line: make fun of the Harry Potter films. Properly.

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Post #: 17

RE: Everything Sucks In That Clip...Except The Vampires - 16/7/2010 1:41:59 AM

Galahadfairlight

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/10/2008

Whilst I don't advocate piracy, Vampires Suck has been leaked and there is a HD version online (if you REALLY wanted to find it, i'm sure you could), and its every bit as bad as you might expect from Friedberg and Selzter.

It basically retreads the first two Twilight movies, and has pop culture references (admittedly nowhere near as many as 'normal' but still making no sense or anything like funny!).

The problem for this movie (forgetting for a minute Friedberg and Seltzer) is that there have been Youtube parodies for over a year, and most are funny in a way Vampires Suck simply isn't.

I mean, from what I can gather, the third movie in the series (Eclipse) already takes the piss out of itself about Jacob taking his shirt off all the time..... how in the hell can Vampires Suck parody a movie that parodies itself already?!?!?

Its mercifully short but feels longer, and if you've had the misfortune of watching the first two Twilight movies and disliked them, well you get to watch them again but with Friedberg and Seltzers 'laughs' inserted.

Its just not funny, and sadly will probably do better business than Disaster Movie did simply because the curious Twihards will goto see it thinking it to be a clever riff on their favourite movies (its not!), and those that hate the Twilight series will go see it because they'll think they are in for a good ride (its not, and they get to watch the two movies they hate again with no laughs!).

Mel Brooks apologised for essentially inventing the Spoof genre, and it was because of Friedberg and Selzter that he apologised.

The full movie is out there, piracy is a crime etc, but this movie relieving money from peoples pockets is slightly more shameful in my mind.

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Post #: 18

BEST THING ABOUT THIS FILM....... - 5/10/2010 12:39:56 PM

aliceck

Posts: 5
Joined: 28/4/2008

is that it makes every other bad film out there look like a five star masterpiece. In 9 years that me an my fiance have gone to the cinema twice a week religeously this is the first ever film we've walked out of. Please dont get curious and give this a chance it doesn't deserve to be given away free with a sunday tabloid.

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Post #: 19