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RE: The Great Beer Movie - 29/5/2010 2:23:49 PM   
dj vivace


Posts: 5991
Joined: 28/7/2006
From: plymouth
quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE

Watched this take on the Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven: -

And who was my favourite of the mercenaries? Was it George Peppard's cowboy or Robert Vaughan's killer? Eh no! It was Cybil Danning of course




I MUST see this film!!

_____________________________

you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

See more of my reviews here under the name Matt Wavish :
Horror Cult Film Reviews

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Post #: 151
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 29/5/2010 2:30:23 PM   
dj vivace


Posts: 5991
Joined: 28/7/2006
From: plymouth
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dr Lenera


Here's what I think is a classic beer movie, though it's not too well known these days. I remember when I was at school is was a classic 'video your parents wouldn't want you to see' movie that most of the cool kids [you obviously had cool parents] had seen.   As you may guess it's basically Flash Gordon but as a really stupid soft porn movie.  Therefore Dal Ardor is Dale Hard On, Ming The Merciless is Wang The Wanker, the peril that threatens earth is a sex ray, the Tree Men are all gay, Wang's aides are the Rape Robots with drills between their legs, and so forth.  The story goes that this was intended as a hard core porn movie, but because some of the special effects ended up being surprisingly good they turned it into a soft porn fiilm [though the odd hardcore shot remains] and gave it a fairly wide release in 1974.  It still looks pretty shoddy and the acting is abysmal, but as long as you have tongue firmly in cheek and preferably a really stupid and childish sense of humour [one that maybe comes to the fore under the influence of alcohol],  it's hugely entertaining, and climaxes with a great King Kong spoof!  The UK DVD is cut unlike the US one though with the likes of Caligula getting uncut releases I find it bizarre that it's still cut over here.


Ha ha!!! I remember this, there was a crappy sequel too! Can't really remember much but it was cheaply made and a hell of a lot of fun. Funnily enough i have had an urge to watch FLASH Gordon recently



"FORWARD MY HAWK PEOPLE!!!! DIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!!!!!"



And how could anyone forget the pillow fight!!

_____________________________

you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

See more of my reviews here under the name Matt Wavish :
Horror Cult Film Reviews

(in reply to Dr Lenera)
Post #: 152
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 29/5/2010 4:03:52 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: dj vivace

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dr Lenera


Here's what I think is a classic beer movie, though it's not too well known these days. I remember when I was at school is was a classic 'video your parents wouldn't want you to see' movie that most of the cool kids [you obviously had cool parents] had seen.   As you may guess it's basically Flash Gordon but as a really stupid soft porn movie.  Therefore Dal Ardor is Dale Hard On, Ming The Merciless is Wang The Wanker, the peril that threatens earth is a sex ray, the Tree Men are all gay, Wang's aides are the Rape Robots with drills between their legs, and so forth.  The story goes that this was intended as a hard core porn movie, but because some of the special effects ended up being surprisingly good they turned it into a soft porn fiilm [though the odd hardcore shot remains] and gave it a fairly wide release in 1974.  It still looks pretty shoddy and the acting is abysmal, but as long as you have tongue firmly in cheek and preferably a really stupid and childish sense of humour [one that maybe comes to the fore under the influence of alcohol],  it's hugely entertaining, and climaxes with a great King Kong spoof!  The UK DVD is cut unlike the US one though with the likes of Caligula getting uncut releases I find it bizarre that it's still cut over here.


Ha ha!!! I remember this, there was a crappy sequel too! Can't really remember much but it was cheaply made and a hell of a lot of fun. Funnily enough i have had an urge to watch FLASH Gordon recently



"FORWARD MY HAWK PEOPLE!!!! DIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!!!!!"



And how could anyone forget the pillow fight!!

I've always got time for a foxy girl pillow fight. I who can forget Aura's quote "No, not the bore worms". What the f*ck are the bore worms and where exactly to they go into? Mmmmm?

I really love Flash Gordon and the corny dialogue and effects still make it a great watch. They actually add to the experience. However the set designs, Flash v Baron fight and rockin Queen soundtrack are right up there with the best.


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Post #: 153
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 29/5/2010 4:06:34 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow

Flying blind on a rocket cycle???? Gawdin's ALLLIIIVVVVEEE, DDDDIIIIIIIVVVVEEEE!

< Message edited by DAVID GILLESPIE -- 29/5/2010 4:07:19 PM >


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Post #: 154
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 29/5/2010 4:11:46 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow

Deespach var rocket Ajax to bree'ing back hizz bawdie!!!
Vot do you mean Flash Godin approacheeing - OPEN FIRE!!!!

< Message edited by DAVID GILLESPIE -- 29/5/2010 4:14:23 PM >


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Post #: 155
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 29/5/2010 4:13:40 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow

Freeze ya bloody bastards!!!!


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Post #: 156
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 29/5/2010 5:19:26 PM   
evil bill


Posts: 6742
Joined: 19/7/2006
From: mordor/ uk
quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE

quote:

ORIGINAL: dj vivace
Ha ha!!! I remember this, there was a crappy sequel too! Can't really remember much but it was cheaply made and a hell of a lot of fun. Funnily enough i have had an urge to watch FLASH Gordon recently



"FORWARD MY HAWK PEOPLE!!!! DIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!!!!!"



And how could anyone forget the pillow fight!!

I've always got time for a foxy girl pillow fight. I who can forget Aura's quote "No, not the bore worms". What the f*ck are the bore worms and where exactly to they go into? Mmmmm?

I really love Flash Gordon and the corny dialogue and effects still make it a great watch. They actually add to the experience. However the set designs, Flash v Baron fight and rockin Queen soundtrack are right up there with the best.


I bought the Queen soundtrack to that movie,and the VHS tape,and now have it on DVD,just adore this crazy movie."Flash Gordon Approaching"
"despatch Ajax rocket " FLASH AAAAAH SAVIOR OF THRE UNIVERSE
Loved the red leather outfit on Aura,ooooh so hot!!!

< Message edited by evil bill -- 29/5/2010 6:08:16 PM >


_____________________________

"You listen to me now,i will find you and i will kill you!"

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Post #: 157
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 30/5/2010 10:41:46 AM   
Dr Lenera

 

Posts: 4037
Joined: 19/10/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: evil bill

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dr Lenera


Here's what I think is a classic beer movie, though it's not too well known these days. I remember when I was at school is was a classic 'video your parents wouldn't want you to see' movie that most of the cool kids [you obviously had cool parents] had seen.   As you may guess it's basically Flash Gordon but as a really stupid soft porn movie.  Therefore Dal Ardor is Dale Hard On, Ming The Merciless is Wang The Wanker, the peril that threatens earth is a sex ray, the Tree Men are all gay, Wang's aides are the Rape Robots with drills between their legs, and so forth.  The story goes that this was intended as a hard core porn movie, but because some of the special effects ended up being surprisingly good they turned it into a soft porn fiilm [though the odd hardcore shot remains] and gave it a fairly wide release in 1974.  It still looks pretty shoddy and the acting is abysmal, but as long as you have tongue firmly in cheek and preferably a really stupid and childish sense of humour [one that maybe comes to the fore under the influence of alcohol],  it's hugely entertaining, and climaxes with a great King Kong spoof!  The UK DVD is cut unlike the US one though with the likes of Caligula getting uncut releases I find it bizarre that it's still cut over here.

I remember long ago in the 80's those drunken nights watching that movie,god it's so ham,so bad ,yet so funny.And there are uncut copys of this doing the rounds still,even on DVD now.
Reminds me of a fellow worker who had a porn version of Snow White,who left it siting out after a nights boozing.Well he went to work that Saturday as normal,and forgot his wife was having a birthday party for there 9 year old and friends.She put on said Video thinking it was a live action remake of Snow White,and left the room with the other mothers to prepare the cake etc.Did'nt those kids get a surprise as the Dwarfs mounted snow white,in various ways.




He he that's a funny story!!

_____________________________

check out more of my reviews on http://horrorcultfilms.co.uk/

(in reply to evil bill)
Post #: 158
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 30/5/2010 12:21:17 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: evil bill

quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE

quote:

ORIGINAL: dj vivace
Ha ha!!! I remember this, there was a crappy sequel too! Can't really remember much but it was cheaply made and a hell of a lot of fun. Funnily enough i have had an urge to watch FLASH Gordon recently



"FORWARD MY HAWK PEOPLE!!!! DIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!!!!!"



And how could anyone forget the pillow fight!!

I've always got time for a foxy girl pillow fight. I who can forget Aura's quote "No, not the bore worms". What the f*ck are the bore worms and where exactly to they go into? Mmmmm?

I really love Flash Gordon and the corny dialogue and effects still make it a great watch. They actually add to the experience. However the set designs, Flash v Baron fight and rockin Queen soundtrack are right up there with the best.


I bought the Queen soundtrack to that movie,and the VHS tape,and now have it on DVD,just adore this crazy movie."Flash Gordon Approaching"
"despatch Ajax rocket " FLASH AAAAAH SAVIOR OF THRE UNIVERSE
Loved the red leather outfit on Aura,ooooh so hot!!!

I also acquired that CD and the final track, titled Hero is brilliant. Aura certainly looked better in that red number than Britney. In my opinion.


_____________________________

Cludge Judge * Cold Fish

(in reply to evil bill)
Post #: 159
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 30/5/2010 12:25:33 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dr Lenera

quote:

ORIGINAL: evil bill

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dr Lenera


Here's what I think is a classic beer movie, though it's not too well known these days. I remember when I was at school is was a classic 'video your parents wouldn't want you to see' movie that most of the cool kids [you obviously had cool parents] had seen.   As you may guess it's basically Flash Gordon but as a really stupid soft porn movie.  Therefore Dal Ardor is Dale Hard On, Ming The Merciless is Wang The Wanker, the peril that threatens earth is a sex ray, the Tree Men are all gay, Wang's aides are the Rape Robots with drills between their legs, and so forth.  The story goes that this was intended as a hard core porn movie, but because some of the special effects ended up being surprisingly good they turned it into a soft porn fiilm [though the odd hardcore shot remains] and gave it a fairly wide release in 1974.  It still looks pretty shoddy and the acting is abysmal, but as long as you have tongue firmly in cheek and preferably a really stupid and childish sense of humour [one that maybe comes to the fore under the influence of alcohol],  it's hugely entertaining, and climaxes with a great King Kong spoof!  The UK DVD is cut unlike the US one though with the likes of Caligula getting uncut releases I find it bizarre that it's still cut over here.

I remember long ago in the 80's those drunken nights watching that movie,god it's so ham,so bad ,yet so funny.And there are uncut copys of this doing the rounds still,even on DVD now.
Reminds me of a fellow worker who had a porn version of Snow White,who left it siting out after a nights boozing.Well he went to work that Saturday as normal,and forgot his wife was having a birthday party for there 9 year old and friends.She put on said Video thinking it was a live action remake of Snow White,and left the room with the other mothers to prepare the cake etc.Did'nt those kids get a surprise as the Dwarfs mounted snow white,in various ways.




He he that's a funny story!!


Guess those kids will be mentally scarred for life. Still I reckon it's better than hiring one of these?

Wow, that kid looks as if its having a good time.
Mind you I'm quite taken by Mrs Clown.



< Message edited by DAVID GILLESPIE -- 30/5/2010 2:23:01 PM >


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Post #: 160
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 30/5/2010 2:43:14 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
Clown inspired beer movies: -


Not seen this one yet?



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Post #: 161
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 30/5/2010 8:25:10 PM   
dj vivace


Posts: 5991
Joined: 28/7/2006
From: plymouth


Ha!! Watched this for the first time in years yesterday. What a perfect beer movie, they all talk in grunts so possibly, if you get pissed enough you may even be able to translate  Brilliant monsters that just may freak you out  bit if your drunk (fuck me, a giant turtle!!!), oh, and not only does Raquel Welch pretty much prance around naked, but all the women do!! And the main guy, with his silly beard covered in dirt and big white eyes peering through his great hairy face, is priceless!

_____________________________

you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

See more of my reviews here under the name Matt Wavish :
Horror Cult Film Reviews

(in reply to DAVID GILLESPIE)
Post #: 162
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 30/5/2010 8:34:54 PM   
dj vivace


Posts: 5991
Joined: 28/7/2006
From: plymouth

Phhwwooaarrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

< Message edited by dj vivace -- 30/5/2010 8:38:38 PM >


_____________________________

you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

See more of my reviews here under the name Matt Wavish :
Horror Cult Film Reviews

(in reply to dj vivace)
Post #: 163
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 30/5/2010 10:19:48 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: dj vivace


Phhwwooaarrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Christ! Too many Millers for me. I could have swore Aura was lying on a bed of Goodfella's pizzas!!!


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Post #: 164
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 31/5/2010 12:22:07 PM   
Dr Lenera

 

Posts: 4037
Joined: 19/10/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE

Clown inspired beer movies: -


Not seen this one yet?




Killer Clowns is really freaky in a wierd way, though of course it's basically a comedy.  I've always found it odd how clowns are basically to entertain kids, but they hardly look nice, do they?

Demonic Toys is quite good fun, very cheap and cheerful like all the Charles Band-produced movies such as Trancers, Ghoulies etc.  This is one of my favourites.


A tiny Tom Thumb-sized cop comes to Earth , equipped with a gun that can blow off the heads of the [to him] giant sized humans, saves the world and is about to begin a relationship with the [normal sized] heroine at the end who says to him "it's true what they say, size doesn't matter"!  How would 'it' happen, I mean would his whole body go in?  This has absolutely appalling special effects reminiscent of things like Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman but somehow it doesn't matter.  There was actually a sequel called Dollman Vs Demonic Toys which I haven't got to see yet.

< Message edited by Dr Lenera -- 25/6/2010 2:40:46 PM >


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check out more of my reviews on http://horrorcultfilms.co.uk/

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Post #: 165
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 31/5/2010 5:30:13 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dr Lenera

quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE





Killer Clowns is really freaky in a wierd way, though of course it's basically a comedy.  I've always found it odd how clowns are basically to entertain kids, but they hardly look nice, do they?

Demonic Toys is quite good fun, very cheap and cheerful like all the Charles Band-produced movies such as Trancers, Ghoulies etc.  This is one of my favourites.

A tiny Tom Thumb-sized cop comes to Earth , equipped with a gun that can blow off the heads of the [to him] giant sized humans, saves the world and is about to begin a relationship with the [normal sized] heroine at the end who says to him "it's true what they say, size doesn't matter"!  How would 'it' happen, I mean would his whole body go in?  This has absolutely appalling special effects reminiscent of things like Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman but somehow it doesn't matter.  There was actually a sequel called Dollman Vs Demonic Toys which I haven't got to see yet.

Tim Thomerson was in a whole host of b-movie sci-fi's throughout the 80's and 90's. He will probably be remembered for his character Jack Deth in the Trancer movies. I've not seen Dollman but I remember seeing it in my video shop all those many years ago and it was a solid renter.


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Post #: 166
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 31/5/2010 8:10:54 PM   
evil bill


Posts: 6742
Joined: 19/7/2006
From: mordor/ uk
quote:

ORIGINAL: dj vivace


Phhwwooaarrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Yes indeed!!!!.




< Message edited by evil bill -- 31/5/2010 9:07:43 PM >


_____________________________

"You listen to me now,i will find you and i will kill you!"

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Post #: 167
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 31/5/2010 9:02:04 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: evil bill

quote:

ORIGINAL: dj vivace


Phhwwooaarrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Yes indeed!!!!.



Bloomin Great!!!!!

Sweet Jesus!!! They are lovely flowers!!!


_____________________________

Cludge Judge * Cold Fish

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Post #: 168
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 2/6/2010 1:03:01 PM   
grucl

 

Posts: 2495
Joined: 11/2/2008
quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE

Watched this take on the Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven: -

And who was my favourite of the mercenaries? Was it George Peppard's cowboy or Robert Vaughan's killer? Eh no! It was Cybil Danning of course




Special F/X filmed by James Cameron!

(in reply to DAVID GILLESPIE)
Post #: 169
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 2/6/2010 4:05:52 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: grucl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE

Watched this take on the Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven: -

And who was my favourite of the mercenaries? Was it George Peppard's cowboy or Robert Vaughan's killer? Eh no! It was Cybil Danning of course




Special F/X filmed by James Cameron!

I guess not a lot of people know that - I didn't!
It also features Sybil Danning (or have I mentioned this already?).



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Post #: 170
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 4/6/2010 10:12:49 PM   
Dr Lenera

 

Posts: 4037
Joined: 19/10/2005

Here's a fun, tongue in cheek horror romp which is about a museum which contains exhibits of characters such as Dracula, The Mummy and The Wolfman, though they're not all called by their normal names for some reason. If a person steps over the rope around an exhibit, he/she's transported into that character's world. It's all a ploy by an evil magician to gain souls so he can regain his powers and of course some teenagers find themselves at the museum. With it's mostly young cast and light feel, this seems like a typical teen horror flick for a while but stay with it and you get some well done pastiches of old Universal/Hammr-type horror movies and also tons of graphic gore, with a really memorable vampire set piece set in a white room where blood sprays simply everywhere. The story gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on and the climactic brawl between loads of goodies and baddies is helariously inept, but maybe that was the idea. David Warner and Patrick Magee have fun hamming things up as old antagonists and this is just enjoyable nonsense all the way.  There was a sequel, Waxwork 2:Lost In Time, which is also fun but oddly not available in R2.

< Message edited by Dr Lenera -- 25/6/2010 2:43:04 PM >


_____________________________

check out more of my reviews on http://horrorcultfilms.co.uk/

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Post #: 171
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 4/6/2010 10:35:43 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dr Lenera


Here's a fun, tongue in cheek horror romp which is about a museum which contains exhibits of characters such as Dracula, The Mummy and The Wolfman, though they're not all called by their normal names for some reason. If a person steps over the rope around an exhibit, he/she's transported into that character's world. It's all a ploy by an evil magician to gain souls so he can regain his powers and of course some teenagers find themselves at the museum. With it's mostly young cast and light feel, this seems like a typical teen horror flick for a while but stay with it and you get some well done pastiches of old Universal/Hammr-type horror movies and also tons of graphic gore, with a really memorable vampire set piece set in a white room where blood sprays simply everywhere. The story gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on and the climactic brawl between loads of goodies and baddies is helariously inept, but maybe that was the idea. David Warner and Patrick Magee have fun hamming things up as old antagonists and this is just enjoyable nonsense all the way.  There was a sequel, Waxwork 2:Lost In Time, which is also fun but oddly not available in R2.

It is films like this that belong to this thread. Oodles of blood, ropey effects and acting but never less than entertaining. I watched this along with Darkman one boozy Friday night. Waxwork was my second choice but I thoroughly enjoyed this ripping yarn. I think this was the last time I ever saw Zach Gilligan (Gremlins) in a feature film?

Patrick Macnee gives it waldey.

I was totally inebriated when I saw this but it starts straight after where the first ended. Zach Gilligan and girlfriend leave the waxwork museum but are followed by a severed hand. They then get stuck in a time portal where they are sent into scenes from vintage horror movies like Nosferatu and The Wolf Man. It's a good idea and a total mess but then again...I was very, very drunk.

Bruce Campbell makes a funny cameo as a half eaten victim.

< Message edited by DAVID GILLESPIE -- 5/6/2010 10:00:54 AM >


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Post #: 172
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 7/6/2010 6:53:58 PM   
evil bill


Posts: 6742
Joined: 19/7/2006
From: mordor/ uk
SHOWGIRLS 1995,beer movie for sure.




_____________________________

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Post #: 173
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 8/6/2010 12:43:19 AM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow

La Horde (2009)
This entry to the zombie genre is the result of what you would get if you asked a 15 year old, or so, boy to direct a zombie movie. Don't think Pontypool but the last 20 minutes of Dawn of the Dead (2004). There is no social commentary, character building or clever metaphors here, bar Quessem's (the main Nigerian gangster) rant about racial discrimination in relation to the way his gang torture and abuse a female zombie. This is all about carnage and carnage it duly delivers.
The plot involves a group of special police infiltrating a gang in a high rise block of flats. The gang get the upper hand and then they are attacked by a zombie outbreak. This happens in the first 15 minutes and then its a case of how long they can hold out as thousands of athletic ghouls infiltrate the building.
Some will argue that this entry in the undead market shoots its bolt too early and that there is nothing original on offer, yet there is enough going on to keep us interested throughout. One particular kill near the end bares more than a resemblance to the fire extinguisher death in Irreversible. My major gripe with the story was with the character of the policewoman. She seems to completely contradict her actions on the two male leads come the final quarter?
If you want a no-brainer (non -CGI) zombie gorefest with a good few beers then they don't come more satisfying than this.  7/10

< Message edited by DAVID GILLESPIE -- 8/6/2010 12:44:04 AM >


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Post #: 174
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 8/6/2010 12:47:40 AM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: evil bill

SHOWGIRLS 1995,beer movie for sure.




Always had a bit of a thing for Elizabeth Berkley after the dire American teen series, Saved By the Bell. There was also this Hollywood soft porn attempt out at the same time.

Dennis Penis " Demi, would you consider keeping your clothes on for a film part?"


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Post #: 175
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 8/6/2010 1:26:17 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE


La Horde (2009)
This entry to the zombie genre is the result of what you would get if you asked a 15 year old, or so, boy to direct a zombie movie. Don't think Pontypool but the last 20 minutes of Dawn of the Dead (2004). There is no social commentary, character building or clever metaphors here, bar Adewale's (the main Nigerian gangster) rant about racial discrimination in relation to the way his gang torture and abuse a female zombie. This is all about carnage and carnage it duly delivers.
The plot involves a group of special police infiltrating a gang in a high rise block of flats. The gang get the upper hand and then they are attacked by a zombie outbreak. This happens in the first 15 minutes and then its a case of how long they can hold out as thousands of athletic ghouls infiltrate the building.
Some will argue that this entry in the undead market shoots its bolt too early and that there is nothing original on offer, yet there is enough going on to keep us interested throughout. One particular kill near the end bares more than a resemblance to the fire extinguisher death in Irreversible. My major gripe with the story was with the character of the policewoman. She seems to completely contradict her actions on the two male leads come the final quarter?
If you want a no-brainer (non -CGI) zombie gorefest with a good few beers then they don't come more satisfying than this.  7/10


quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE


La Horde (2009)
This entry to the zombie genre is the result of what you would get if you asked a 15 year old, or so, boy to direct a zombie movie. Don't think Pontypool but the last 20 minutes of Dawn of the Dead (2004). There is no social commentary, character building or clever metaphors here, bar Quessem's (the main Nigerian gangster) rant about racial discrimination in relation to the way his gang torture and abuse a female zombie. This is all about carnage and carnage it duly delivers.
The plot involves a group of special police infiltrating a gang in a high rise block of flats. The gang get the upper hand and then they are attacked by a zombie outbreak. This happens in the first 15 minutes and then its a case of how long they can hold out as thousands of athletic ghouls infiltrate the building.
Some will argue that this entry in the undead market shoots its bolt too early and that there is nothing original on offer, yet there is enough going on to keep us interested throughout. One particular kill near the end bares more than a resemblance to the fire extinguisher death in Irreversible. My major gripe with the story was with the character of the policewoman. She seems to completely contradict her actions on the two male leads come the final quarter?
If you want a no-brainer (non -CGI) zombie gorefest with a good few beers then they don't come more satisfying than this. 7/10


Some other types of 'Under Seige' Beer type movies : -



Attack on Precinct 13 (1978)
Enemy: Psycho Gang
Synopsis: John Carpenter's classic thriller involving a gang of psychos trying to infiltrate a run down police building with limited staff. Has one or two major shocks during its violent running time.

Tales from the Crypt (1995)
Enemy: Demons and Billy Zane
Synopsis: A bundle of scraggy demons led by Billy Zane attack a rundown boarding house to capture a bottle with the blood of christ. Moderately successful and fun horror slapstick.

Critters (1985)
Enemy: Dodgy looking alien puppets
Synopsis: Hairy wee aliens attack a farmhouse for human munchies. No budget but good laugh.


Aliens (1986)
Enemy: Acid bleeding aliens
Synopsis: Multiple waves of aliens attack cocky American soldier types resulting in "Game Over, maaaaan!". Fantastic beer movie.

Zulu (1964)
Enemy: Bladdy Zulus
Synopsis: Michael Caine gets very annoyed as he shoots waves upon waves of attacking zulus.

< Message edited by DAVID GILLESPIE -- 8/6/2010 2:48:24 PM >


_____________________________

Cludge Judge * Cold Fish

(in reply to DAVID GILLESPIE)
Post #: 176
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 8/6/2010 6:36:03 PM   
evil bill


Posts: 6742
Joined: 19/7/2006
From: mordor/ uk
quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE
Some other types of 'Under Seige' Beer type movies : -



Attack on Precinct 13 (1978)
Enemy: Psycho Gang
Synopsis: John Carpenter's classic thriller involving a gang of psychos trying to infiltrate a run down police building with limited staff. Has one or two major shocks during its violent running time.

Tales from the Crypt (1995)
Enemy: Demons and Billy Zane
Synopsis: A bundle of scraggy demons led by Billy Zane attack a rundown boarding house to capture a bottle with the blood of christ. Moderately successful and fun horror slapstick.

Critters (1985)
Enemy: Dodgy looking alien puppets
Synopsis: Hairy wee aliens attack a farmhouse for human munchies. No budget but good laugh.


Aliens (1986)
Enemy: Acid bleeding aliens
Synopsis: Multiple waves of aliens attack cocky American soldier types resulting in "Game Over, maaaaan!". Fantastic beer movie.

Zulu (1964)
Enemy: Bladdy Zulus
Synopsis: Michael Caine gets very annoyed as he shoots waves upon waves of attacking zulus.

Carpenters movie is so so good,a violent exciting movie,a true cult classic.The Remake was OK but didn't hit the mark like John's,it was more action movie than thriler.
Zulu you just can't name a top five British movies without this one,i want this on Blu Ray,so i can watch this anytime i want."ZULU!!!"


_____________________________

"You listen to me now,i will find you and i will kill you!"

(in reply to DAVID GILLESPIE)
Post #: 177
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 8/6/2010 6:44:38 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: evil bill

quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE
Some other types of 'Under Seige' Beer type movies : -



Zulu (1964)
Enemy: Bladdy Zulus
Synopsis: Michael Caine gets very annoyed as he shoots waves upon waves of attacking zulus.

Carpenters movie is so so good,a violent exciting movie,a true cult classic.The Remake was OK but didn't hit the mark like John's,it was more action movie than thriler.
Zulu you just can't name a top five British movies without this one,i want this on Blu Ray,so i can watch this anytime i want."ZULU!!!"


I've bought a Blu-ray movie system and not bought a bladdy Blu-ray film as yet. Zulu would be a great start as its a classic. I did enjoy the remake of Attack on Precinct 13 but as you added, it's just not in the same league as the Carpenter original. The little girl getting shot at the start is one of the most shocking moments ever. It still chills me to the bone.


_____________________________

Cludge Judge * Cold Fish

(in reply to evil bill)
Post #: 178
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 8/6/2010 7:59:12 PM   
evil bill


Posts: 6742
Joined: 19/7/2006
From: mordor/ uk
quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE

quote:

ORIGINAL: evil bill

quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE
Some other types of 'Under Seige' Beer type movies : -



Zulu (1964)
Enemy: Bladdy Zulus
Synopsis: Michael Caine gets very annoyed as he shoots waves upon waves of attacking zulus.

Carpenters movie is so so good,a violent exciting movie,a true cult classic.The Remake was OK but didn't hit the mark like John's,it was more action movie than thriler.
Zulu you just can't name a top five British movies without this one,i want this on Blu Ray,so i can watch this anytime i want."ZULU!!!"


I've bought a Blu-ray movie system and not bought a bladdy Blu-ray film as yet. Zulu would be a great start as its a classic. I did enjoy the remake of Attack on Precinct 13 but as you added, it's just not in the same league as the Carpenter original. The little girl getting shot at the start is one of the most shocking moments ever. It still chills me to the bone.


That's why Carpenter's still carry an 18 Cert,i near choked on my popcorn when i saw it in the cinema as a double bill,the main movie being Halloween,what a fucking great double bill that was.I miss those days big time.


_____________________________

"You listen to me now,i will find you and i will kill you!"

(in reply to DAVID GILLESPIE)
Post #: 179
RE: The Great Beer Movie - 8/6/2010 9:56:01 PM   
DAVID GILLESPIE


Posts: 2888
Joined: 27/2/2007
From: Glasgow
quote:

ORIGINAL: evil bill

quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE

quote:

ORIGINAL: evil bill

quote:

ORIGINAL: DAVID GILLESPIE
Some other types of 'Under Seige' Beer type movies : -



Zulu (1964)
Enemy: Bladdy Zulus
Synopsis: Michael Caine gets very annoyed as he shoots waves upon waves of attacking zulus.

Carpenters movie is so so good,a violent exciting movie,a true cult classic.The Remake was OK but didn't hit the mark like John's,it was more action movie than thriler.
Zulu you just can't name a top five British movies without this one,i want this on Blu Ray,so i can watch this anytime i want."ZULU!!!"


I've bought a Blu-ray movie system and not bought a bladdy Blu-ray film as yet. Zulu would be a great start as its a classic. I did enjoy the remake of Attack on Precinct 13 but as you added, it's just not in the same league as the Carpenter original. The little girl getting shot at the start is one of the most shocking moments ever. It still chills me to the bone.


That's why Carpenter's still carry an 18 Cert,i near choked on my popcorn when i saw it in the cinema as a double bill,the main movie being Halloween,what a fucking great double bill that was.I miss those days big time.


I remember my dad taking my brother and myself to see a Gregory's Girl and Monty Python and the Holy Grail double bill. I lived in Cumbernauld at the time and 3/4 of the audience left after the Gregory's Girl. Complete freaks! But yes, double bills were the bawz.


< Message edited by DAVID GILLESPIE -- 8/6/2010 9:58:15 PM >


_____________________________

Cludge Judge * Cold Fish

(in reply to evil bill)
Post #: 180
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