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RE: Creative Juices, baby

 
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RE: Creative Juices, baby - 13/3/2010 4:59:12 PM   
Beno


Posts: 8127
Joined: 15/2/2007
From: Sheffield
I will be coming on here to check you all out so prepare to be prodded and probed like never before .

_____________________________

"The one about the space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedalbin. His Father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his Sister. Lego ... They're all made of fucking Lego!!"

(in reply to pedro)
Post #: 91
RE: Creative Juices, baby - 13/3/2010 5:19:51 PM   
Baby Bear


Posts: 5544
Joined: 6/11/2005
From: Back stalking Wilbert....oh, yes...


_____________________________

" At least he was asleep when I hit him with the shovel......." Moses Lawn. RIP

Has tin foil hat issues ( thanks Woger...love it )

Felix: "Poor guy. They must be like space hoppers by now."

lympo :
I have no idea how the idea came about! one moment I was eating turkey, the next i was on all fours

Daz : Get. A fucking. Room.

(in reply to Beno)
Post #: 92
RE: Creative Juices, baby - 13/3/2010 10:50:56 PM   
Oddward


Posts: 705
Joined: 6/8/2007
From: Corby
Yeh, I'm sorry i can't find that script. I think I did it on my old computer. 

_____________________________

"If it can be written, or thought, it can be filmed."
- Stanley Kubrick

(in reply to Baby Bear)
Post #: 93
RE: Creative Juices, baby - 14/3/2010 5:38:40 AM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Beno

I will be coming on here to check you all out so prepare to be prodded and probed like never before .



As we all know, Beno is so cool, Aliens come down to Earth to be probed by him.
Its true.





_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to Beno)
Post #: 94
Script Chat - 14/3/2010 5:40:40 AM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
quote:

ORIGINAL: Oddward

Yeh, I'm sorry i can't find that script. I think I did it on my old computer. 


Im going to have to forgive you..cause that avatar is so badass.

< Message edited by wgamador -- 14/3/2010 5:41:46 AM >


_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to Oddward)
Post #: 95
RE: Creative Juices, baby - 14/3/2010 4:33:09 PM   
Beno


Posts: 8127
Joined: 15/2/2007
From: Sheffield

quote:

ORIGINAL: wgamador


quote:

ORIGINAL: Beno

I will be coming on here to check you all out so prepare to be prodded and probed like never before .



As we all know, Beno is so cool, Aliens come down to Earth to be probed by him.
Its true.






Only the Femaliens Wags ........ and i cant find a use for Uranus in my reply but its out there anyhoo .

_____________________________

"The one about the space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedalbin. His Father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his Sister. Lego ... They're all made of fucking Lego!!"

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 96
RE: Creative Juices, baby - 15/3/2010 2:23:46 AM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
To those of you who have sent in scripts......please check your email....
I need to know the characters and rooms your script are based on.


THANK YOU!!!!

_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to Beno)
Post #: 97
RE: Creative Juices, baby - 15/3/2010 1:58:27 PM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
Another script is up.....


DEADLINE for MONTH 19 CHALLENGE is this Wednesday.
So if you sent Maria Noir a script or just wrote one...............get it in.


_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 98
RE: Creative Juices, baby - 15/3/2010 2:12:43 PM   
NickHilton


Posts: 104
Joined: 16/9/2006
Not sure if i can find my original one.

If i have time i'll see if i can piece it back together...


_____________________________

Visit a film blog written by someone you don't know and who has little authority on the subject and whose blog should only be of interest to close friends and family....

www.theclapperbored.com

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 99
do it , do it , do it........ - 15/3/2010 2:38:56 PM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
quote:

ORIGINAL: NickHilton

Not sure if i can find my original one.

If i have time i'll see if i can piece it back together...




Ill give you an extra day to find it.



< Message edited by wgamador -- 15/3/2010 6:31:39 PM >


_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to NickHilton)
Post #: 100
RE: do it , do it , do it........ - 16/3/2010 9:51:28 PM   
pedro


Posts: 70
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Glasgow
Just wanna say a big thanks to wgamador for taking this project on. Even though I've only entered 2 and am extremely amateur at best, wgamador's email at weekend has got me buzzing for more again. Ever since the Oscar nominated 'Once Upon A Time In Saigon' debuted back in month 15 (I think), the creative writing flame has become a fire



_____________________________

I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 101
RE: do it , do it , do it........ - 17/3/2010 3:25:26 AM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...

quote:

ORIGINAL: pedro

Just wanna say a big thanks to wgamador for taking this project on. Even though I've only entered 2 and am extremely amateur at best, wgamador's email at weekend has got me buzzing for more again. Ever since the Oscar nominated 'Once Upon A Time In Saigon' debuted back in month 15 (I think), the creative writing flame has become a fire





I think I speak for the rest of us when I say, we are happy to have you join us. Dont worry about your skills, you might surprise yourself and the rest of us.
I didnt get comfortable with writing scripts until my 4th entry.

KEEP THAT HUNGER !!

_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to pedro)
Post #: 102
RE: do it , do it , do it........ - 17/3/2010 8:38:38 PM   
NickHilton


Posts: 104
Joined: 16/9/2006
I think i've located last month's script. Where should i email it to? The old address?

_____________________________

Visit a film blog written by someone you don't know and who has little authority on the subject and whose blog should only be of interest to close friends and family....

www.theclapperbored.com

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 103
RE: do it , do it , do it........ - 18/3/2010 6:05:19 AM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
Send it to :

wgamador@yahoo.com

please include the chracters and room the script is based on.


I wont post them until i have tat info.

_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to NickHilton)
Post #: 104
RE: do it , do it , do it........ - 19/3/2010 3:46:57 PM   
monkeyfish


Posts: 1234
Joined: 18/9/2006
From: Under the sea
I've read the three scripts that are up at the moment. There's some interesting stuff here. I'm just waiting for them all to be posted before I give my comments. How many scripts can we expect there to be in the end, wags?

_____________________________

What became of the Empire Script Challenge?

Bring it back, I say!

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 105
PLEASE READ AND VOTE !!!!! THANKS! - 20/3/2010 4:35:51 AM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
Hey MonkeyFish....

I think all the scripts are up now. IF YOU DO NOT SEE YOUR SCRIPT PLEASE CONTACT ME......I will be online all weekend.

I want to say the quality of the scripts are amazing and look forward to reading them all in depth.
On Monday I will announce when the VOTING DEADLINE will be.


THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT and HARD WORK!!

PLEASE, SEND ME ALL OF YOUR SUGGESTIONS!!!!

< Message edited by wgamador -- 20/3/2010 4:37:07 AM >


_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to monkeyfish)
Post #: 106
RE: PLEASE READ AND VOTE !!!!! THANKS! - 20/3/2010 8:34:05 AM   
monkeyfish


Posts: 1234
Joined: 18/9/2006
From: Under the sea
Cool. Good to see there are still a few around so long sfter the original challenge date. I've read them all now so here are my comments. As ever, I will criticise the things I didn't like about the scripts, but I'll try and make it constructive. Hopefully none of it sounds particularly harsh, they're all good pieces of writing. In the interests of preserving anonymity, I will, as ever, be criticising my own script as well, hopefully in a vaguely objective way.

Snooze - A nice, neat, focused concept, using the short nature of these scripts to good effect with its simple story. Often, the stories in these scripts seem over ambitious, but this was the right sort of length. I didn't especially want to read more (and I mean that as kind of a compliment!). It was a good use of the domestic spaces in the pictures to contrast the mundane aspects of the everyday with a time travel plot. However, it is a kind of one punchline sort of script. The mundane, everyday time travel thing is a nice idea (and I liked throwing in a Back To The Future reference to suggest where the script might be going), but it takes a lot of setting up when not much is happening. Even though the descriptions are largely quite concise and well observed, it still feels like reading a lot of descriptive text as there is just one character and virtually no dialogue (decent use of sound effects though).

Oh! What A Lovely Wall - Before commenting on this script, I would like to just say that I don't particularly like Banksy. I'm certainly not opposed to street art and graffiti as art in general, and I do like his work that's just funny plays on the spaces they exist in, however I feel his political messages and viewpoints are trite and simplistic (I really didn't like the stuff he did in Gaza). Therefore, that did slightly colour my opinion of a script that presented him as this cool, angelic figure who turns up to aid troubled teens. Despite this, I did like some of the writing in the script. Like many successful biopics or films utilising real people, the writer has chosen to reproduce his subject's previously quoted words in his dialogue. I thought this worked well here, using Banksy's actual words does give a good sense of him as a real character (although I felt the scene with Adam reading the quotes in the Banksy book felt a little redundant, it doesn't really tell the audience anything they don't already know). I liked the writing and characterisation of the family (I could have done with more of this and less Banksy). Adam is convincing as the sort of teenager who rebels against the mainstream by adopting the same counter culture causes and tastes as any other similar teen. His relationships with his family seem pretty plausible, the right mix of conflict and affection, I liked this exchange with his sister - "You are such a loser. No wonder no one likes you." "You are such a tart. No wonder everyone likes you." So, I liked the script, but probably would have liked it more if I could admire Banksy as much as Adam does.

Vessel - This guy and his pigeon were popular characters this month, weren't they? From the picture, I got that he was a far more avuncular, cheerful figure than this script got from him. This script definitely had the best imagery and symbolism of any this month. I liked its usage of recurring different ideas of feathers, flight, birds and angels, life and death. The old man looking after his pigeons and waiting for death was an appealingly timeless, universal concept. I did, however, have a bit of trouble getting into this one at first, the early parts being primarily voiceover that is perhaps a little unnecessarily florid. There are points, as well, where the ideas behind the script seem a bit hazy. I'm sure the writer has a clear view on what he is trying to convey, but sometimes the actual content of what is happening seems a little confused to the reader. However, the dialogue portion between Arthur and Alison, where they were talking about the feathers, was a nicely written exchange and in the end I found it quite rewarding and satisfying. I would add, however, that this script does stray somewhat from this month's theme. The rules did say "you must only use the rooms provided", something that most writers interpreted fairly loosely, but it felt most obvious in this script that the content was not especially tied to or linked with the rooms and only one scene took place in one.

The Greenhouse Effect - There's the pigeon man again. Like Snooze, this one suffered inevitably from being almost entirely description focused on an individual character. Unlike that script, however, this one struggled for focus and clarity a little bit. Oddly, breaking it up into really short paragraphs actually made it harder to get into than it would have been with longer ones. Because the script was quite strange, it sometimes felt quite difficult to follow exactly what was going on. Even though there is a flashback explaining things a bit, I still felt a little trouble getting a grip on the script. However, sometimes it is a good thing to throw your audience into a confusing world and only gradually reveal things that make sense, so I guess it worked on that level, it just could have done with more clarity in the actual mechanics of the individual scenes. As for the concept of the script, it was a good sci-fi idea. There's something inherently creepy about plant life that interacts with animal life, even more so with plant/animal hybrids, that I feel the script exploits well, sort of a mix of Triffids and pod people in Bodysnatchers. The very final moments had a good emotional weight to them and suggested something interesting in the character that it would have been nice to explore further if there was a longer script. Tightening up and clarifying the earlier parts on a second draft would improve this script a lot, but it definitely has some good ideas.

Sunflowers - This one, I feel, probably worked better than any of the others in terms of the parameters of the original challenge. It was well focused on the many contrasting domestic spaces shown in the photos. The writer has obviously thought about the idea of these domestic spaces as playing a symbolic role in representing characters' moods and attitudes. It is a little simplistic, the lovely, bright colours of the cheerful woman and the dingy, dark basement of the depressed girl, but scripts this short do need to paint in fairly broad brushstrokes and need good shorthands like the idea of personality through decor. I liked the character of Anna, she seemed a plausible, well realised and very likeable person and the scenes between her and Amy were nicely done, they seemed realistic exchanges between characters the writer obviously likes but is able to view from a distance, the line "It looks like a rainbow threw up in here" was one that made me smile. However, I did feel that outside of this central relationship, there were a few redundant moments. The script would have worked better for me in having more scenes of Anna and Amy, developing a growing relationship between them, and less of Feldman and Anna just complimenting each other. I didn't really care for the ending with the sunflowers either. It didn't seem a plausible thing to work for Amy and seemed a rather quick and convenient conclusion that the script didn't necessarily need. In all, though, this was one of my favourites.

Etre, Ou Ne Pas Etre - I know enough Shakespeare and just about enough French to recognise the speech. I quite liked having a multi-lingual script in the challenge and would have quite enjoyed a script that explored this a bit more. As a whole, the script feels like a couple of individual scenes in a bigger story that don't quite work on their own. Without a context or background to these people, it seems hard for the script to work on an emotional level. I assume some sort of growing feelings for Sofia have developed in Matt in between the first and second scene, but as it is the whole thing feels very abrupt, almost like all the best bits have been missed out and we're just left with a very sudden ending (although, assuming Sofia's last line is a Last Action Hero reference, it made me smile). It's worth remembering not to be too ambitious with these scripts, it's very hard to tell much of a story in less than ten pages. The setting, however, was a good one, a partially ruined theatre in Baghdad with a Frenchwoman playing Hamlet is appealingly offbeat, but it doesn't have the time to develop. Once again, pigeon man, a little eccentric this time, was the most well realised character. It was nice to see, given his huge popularity this month, him and his pigeon get a good final send off in the last parts of this challenge!

So, my three favourites were Oh! What A Lovely Wall for its well observed family relationships, Vessel for its strong imagery, and Sunflowers for its good use of the settings provided. I'll think about it and be back with my vote from those three.

< Message edited by monkeyfish -- 20/3/2010 10:14:29 AM >


_____________________________

What became of the Empire Script Challenge?

Bring it back, I say!

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 107
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 22/3/2010 9:35:29 AM   
monkeyfish


Posts: 1234
Joined: 18/9/2006
From: Under the sea
When is the deadline for votes? It would be nice to be done quite quickly as I think most people would like to move on to writing a new challenge.

_____________________________

What became of the Empire Script Challenge?

Bring it back, I say!

(in reply to Maria Noir)
Post #: 108
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 23/3/2010 2:37:02 PM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...

quote:

ORIGINAL: monkeyfish

When is the deadline for votes? It would be nice to be done quite quickly as I think most people would like to move on to writing a new challenge.



What do you suggest? How long was it usually before Maria closed the voting?
Perhaps we shall keep it the same length.

_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to monkeyfish)
Post #: 109
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 23/3/2010 5:24:09 PM   
NickHilton


Posts: 104
Joined: 16/9/2006
I'll post feedback on Thursday, when i have more time, but i WILL do it. Promise.

_____________________________

Visit a film blog written by someone you don't know and who has little authority on the subject and whose blog should only be of interest to close friends and family....

www.theclapperbored.com

(in reply to punchdrunk)
Post #: 110
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 24/3/2010 9:59:20 AM   
Gazz


Posts: 873
Joined: 30/9/2005
I'll have my response up by this weekend.

(in reply to Maria Noir)
Post #: 111
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 24/3/2010 12:25:19 PM   
Willie Mayes Hayes


Posts: 463
Joined: 23/6/2007
From: Glasgow
I've got one more script to read, so should have commented by the weekend too

_____________________________

"Come on ladies, come on gentlemen, come on you trannies"

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Post #: 112
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 24/3/2010 7:07:46 PM   
monkeyfish


Posts: 1234
Joined: 18/9/2006
From: Under the sea

quote:

ORIGINAL: wgamador


quote:

ORIGINAL: monkeyfish

When is the deadline for votes? It would be nice to be done quite quickly as I think most people would like to move on to writing a new challenge.



What do you suggest? How long was it usually before Maria closed the voting?
Perhaps we shall keep it the same length.


I think it was always fairly flexible really. Give it a couple of weeks, I'd say. That should be enough, then we can get on with a new challenge.

Looking forward to seeing other people's comments.

_____________________________

What became of the Empire Script Challenge?

Bring it back, I say!

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 113
VOTE HERE; SCRIPT CHALLENGE...THANK YOU. - 25/3/2010 3:35:52 AM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...
VOTING DEADLINE IS:


SATURDAY - APRIL 3, 2010


THERE IS NO DEADLINE FOR COMMENTS.

Thanks.

< Message edited by wgamador -- 25/3/2010 3:37:40 AM >


_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to monkeyfish)
Post #: 114
RE: VOTE HERE; SCRIPT CHALLENGE...THANK YOU. - 26/3/2010 7:29:07 AM   
monkeyfish


Posts: 1234
Joined: 18/9/2006
From: Under the sea

quote:

ORIGINAL: wgamador

VOTING DEADLINE IS:


SATURDAY - APRIL 3, 2010


THERE IS NO DEADLINE FOR COMMENTS.

Thanks.


What about your own comments on the scripts? Just because you're running the thing doesn't mean you can't comment, Maria did.

Also, after some consideration, my vote is going to go to Sunflowers, as I thought it was the best reaction to the parameters of the challenge whilst being a readable script with well realised characters.

_____________________________

What became of the Empire Script Challenge?

Bring it back, I say!

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 115
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 27/3/2010 10:09:59 PM   
Gazz


Posts: 873
Joined: 30/9/2005
Wait? So now we have less time to leave our comments/ vote? I thought the deadline was NEXT Saturday not this monday.

(in reply to Maria Noir)
Post #: 116
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 30/3/2010 3:02:40 PM   
wgamador


Posts: 20320
Joined: 17/1/2006
From: A polluted womb...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gazz

Wait? So now we have less time to leave our comments/ vote? I thought the deadline was NEXT Saturday not this monday.


Sorry for the confusion.



VOTING DEADLINE IS:


SATURDAY - APRIL 3, 2010

THERE IS NO DEADLINE FOR COMMENTS.




_____________________________

"And as he, who with laboring breath has escaped from the deep
to the shore, turns to the perilous waters and gazes..."



(in reply to Gazz)
Post #: 117
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 30/3/2010 7:07:21 PM   
Beno


Posts: 8127
Joined: 15/2/2007
From: Sheffield
Monkeyfish your multicoloured text has sent me all Prof. Frink .

_____________________________

"The one about the space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedalbin. His Father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his Sister. Lego ... They're all made of fucking Lego!!"

(in reply to wgamador)
Post #: 118
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 30/3/2010 7:56:57 PM   
Willie Mayes Hayes


Posts: 463
Joined: 23/6/2007
From: Glasgow
I typed a meatier post than this, but then was a diddy and lost it, so here's my brief comments:

My vote goes to Snooze. Good, solid, sci-fi fun. It was intriguing right from the start, and frustrating (in the good way) when I couldn't figure out exactly what was happening. Nicely done.

Runner up - Sunflowers. A nicely-visualised script. I particularly liked this bit, it worked really well in my head:

MAN
Oh, Jesus!

TITLE: SUNFLOWERS AND TULIPS, LOLLIPOPS AND KITTENS



But good job by everybody, and roll on the next challenge





_____________________________

"Come on ladies, come on gentlemen, come on you trannies"

(in reply to Beno)
Post #: 119
RE: The Empire Script Challenge: Month 19 - 3/4/2010 2:54:07 PM   
justified by grace

 

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/2/2007
I vote for Snooze.  It's well-written and clever, with an amusing ending, and although it's slow-moving, it manages to be consistently engaging.




_____________________________

Megamind ****
The King’s Speech ****˝
Despicable Me ****˝
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole ***˝
A Serious Man ****
Lars and the Real Girl ***˝
Lourdes **
The Return ***˝
Doubt ***˝
Star Trek: Nemesis ****

(in reply to Willie Mayes Hayes)
Post #: 120
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