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RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 6/11/2009 11:07:48 PM   
jamesbondguy


Posts: 5241
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From: The Village Green
 Gotta love the title changes.  Thanks, ass.

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quote:

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Post #: 61
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 6/11/2009 11:19:55 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 12106
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From: Springfield, USA
 Reminds me of this guy




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Post #: 62
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 6/11/2009 11:35:52 PM   
hiptobesquare_x


Posts: 214
Joined: 27/6/2009
From: Desolation Row, next door to Casanova.
 This thread made me laugh.

I like how he refers to Cocteau's work as "a vanity project made by a man with an ego out of control". A man with an ego so out of control that he spends his time trawling the internet for posts about himself?

Also, I could be being dim here, but what's an echo room?

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Post #: 63
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 6/11/2009 11:38:50 PM   
Epiphany Demon


Posts: 4264
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From: Love Street
quote:

ORIGINAL: hiptobesquare_x

Also, I could be being dim here, but what's an echo room?


The room in which Dan Schneider's fan club meetings are held?

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Post #: 64
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 6/11/2009 11:50:44 PM   
Piles


Posts: 2731
Joined: 6/8/2007
From: Oxford by way of Wolverhampton.
 It takes a lot to be my least favourite Schneider...

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Post #: 65
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 7/11/2009 12:04:02 AM   
hiptobesquare_x


Posts: 214
Joined: 27/6/2009
From: Desolation Row, next door to Casanova.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epiphany Demon


quote:

ORIGINAL: hiptobesquare_x

Also, I could be being dim here, but what's an echo room?


The room in which Dan Schneider's fan club meetings are held?


Haha, I'm sure it's beneficial to his wife's poetry, really gives the phrasing room to breathe...


I've just read his review on Last Year In Marienbad. The same review in which he declares any and in fact every interpretation of it as "masturbatory interpretations of the film that I have debunked." yet offers none of his own.

I mean really; "Those addicted to the drudgery and predictability of formulaic Hollwood hackery will be bored senseless by the film. The remaining 1% or less of us will recognize Last Year In Marienbad as the great work of art it is. Sometimes, exclusivity has its benefits." What are these benefits? I haven't had any. He must be referring to the fact that he's allowed to use the word piffle in the 21st Century, and his rampant dismissal of academia still stands despite his love of a polysyllabic lexis.

And don't even get me started on referring to Breathless as "a failed satire". I bet his mum looks at him and feels he's a failed example of procreation.




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Post #: 66
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 7/11/2009 12:06:53 AM   
Pigeon Army


Posts: 6913
Joined: 29/1/2006
From: Pixar HQ, George Lucas' Office.
quote:

ORIGINAL: hiptobesquare_x

And don't even get me started on referring to Breathless as "a failed satire". I bet his mum looks at him and feels he's a failed example of procreation.



That is the greatest put-down ever.


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Post #: 67
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 7/11/2009 12:07:48 AM   
Rhubarb


Posts: 16874
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: No Direction Home
quote:

Of course, I don’t claim that I am alone in battling the online idiocy of today, but, as one of the more popular websites on line, and the target of many more times the number of harassers and stalkers than other websites, if I do not stand up against such, who will? People often obsess about the great evils in life, but most people do not even stand up to the little insidious evils that constitute tens of thousands of times more incidents.


This is my favourite bit. Just shows how SRS he takes the whole thing.

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hiptobesquare_x

And don't even get me started on referring to Breathless as "a failed satire". I bet his mum looks at him and feels he's a failed example of procreation.


(in reply to hiptobesquare_x)
Post #: 68
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 7/11/2009 12:16:48 AM   
hiptobesquare_x


Posts: 214
Joined: 27/6/2009
From: Desolation Row, next door to Casanova.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pigeon Army

quote:

ORIGINAL: hiptobesquare_x

And don't even get me started on referring to Breathless as "a failed satire". I bet his mum looks at him and feels he's a failed example of procreation.



That is the greatest put-down ever.



his dismissal of Godard stirred something within me.

edit: Love the new title

< Message edited by hiptobesquare_x -- 7/11/2009 12:25:10 AM >

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Post #: 69
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 7/11/2009 11:53:40 AM   
Dantes Inferno


Posts: 4883
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 Oh my God.

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Post #: 70
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 7/11/2009 1:39:05 PM   
jamesbondguy


Posts: 5241
Joined: 6/1/2007
From: The Village Green
quote:

ORIGINAL: hiptobesquare_x


quote:

ORIGINAL: Epiphany Demon


quote:

ORIGINAL: hiptobesquare_x

Also, I could be being dim here, but what's an echo room?


The room in which Dan Schneider's fan club meetings are held?


Haha, I'm sure it's beneficial to his wife's poetry, really gives the phrasing room to breathe...


I've just read his review on Last Year In Marienbad. The same review in which he declares any and in fact every interpretation of it as "masturbatory interpretations of the film that I have debunked." yet offers none of his own.

I mean really; "Those addicted to the drudgery and predictability of formulaic Hollwood hackery will be bored senseless by the film. The remaining 1% or less of us will recognize Last Year In Marienbad as the great work of art it is. Sometimes, exclusivity has its benefits." What are these benefits? I haven't had any. He must be referring to the fact that he's allowed to use the word piffle in the 21st Century, and his rampant dismissal of academia still stands despite his love of a polysyllabic lexis.

And don't even get me started on referring to Breathless as "a failed satire". I bet his mum looks at him and feels he's a failed example of procreation.





I haven't read that Last Year At Marienbad review before. But judging by what you've quoted, it's a definitive Dan work. Arrogant, ego-fuelled dismissal of all other opinions and cinematic theories that aren't his own- check. Elitism based on his ability to do nothing more than watch Alain Resnais films- check. Self-congratulatory celebrations of his own 'intelligence' (despite the fact he's an idiot)-check.  Barely substantiated comments- check. All it needs is some kind of bit about how he masturbated to Delphine Seyrig and it would be the complete Dan experience.

I also love your procreation line.

< Message edited by jamesbondguy -- 7/11/2009 1:40:58 PM >

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Epiphany Demon
and it IS SHITTTT. SIBERian russia can go eat craob penis



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Post #: 71
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 7/11/2009 4:14:38 PM   
TheManWithNoShame


Posts: 6210
Joined: 1/8/2006
I've actually found the real weepingsam over at this blog http://listeningear.blogspot.com/ and told him the situation, and I got this back:

quote:

Gosh - are you sure you aren't me, trying to throw Dan off the scent? Anyway - that is some weird shit - weird weird weird shit. Someone needs to explain the internet to the poor devil - I mean: "But if he really wasn't cyberstalking, then how would he have known to pop in right away- in less than an hour?" - has this guy ever heard of RSS? he knows what it does, right? Imagine if I were using google alerts!

I have no idea how he got the idea that I am all the other people who think he's a clown. Maybe I was the only one to use a consistent handle, until he found you guys (or you found him).

Anyway, that cyberstalking article of his is absurd. More projection there than a film festival. The sock puppet accusations are bizarre enough, the mystification at the use of RSS, or the idea that people read idiots for the comedy... the - admittedly, more a matter of opinion - idea that he ever actually won an argument with someone... though the biggest joke is the idea that he is willing to argue at all. This thing, like most of his disputes, is posted on his web site, safe from any outside comments, just e-mail. (Which of course he can edit and post...) For all his bluster, he is not just amazingly thin skinned, but he goes to great lengths to stay away from anywhere people can talk back. The day he shows up at a site where people are making fun of him and takes them on in public will be a first...

Anyway - betcha in the next edition of this screed, he'll use your little "I am weepingsam" [hey - you guys actually got the handle right - Weeping Sam is a character in a book; weepingsam is my blogging name...] joke to prove that you are, in fact, me.



He has a good point though. I honestly wouldn't put it beyond Dan to claim that I've written this myself.


< Message edited by TheManWithNoShame -- 7/11/2009 4:17:51 PM >

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Post #: 72
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 8/11/2009 10:57:33 AM   
mediarats


Posts: 149
Joined: 28/2/2009
From: some wainscotting
 I hadn't heard of Dan till today. His Wikipedia page is quite scary. Pure sock puppet masturbation.

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Post #: 73
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 8/11/2009 8:53:15 PM   
DCMaximo


Posts: 825
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Nottingham via Chris Coleman's Palace of Wisdom
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pigeon Army

quote:

Some ass named Pigeon Army then writes:   He's not - he's a two-bit reviewer with delusions to criticism, and he's surrounded by yes men.     Yes-men? Like I'm some sort of general? It's funny, because it yet again shows the desire for these asses to be known and read outside their echo chamber, and their envy that I am likely the most well and widely read critic of the arts online.



I'll write an 'official response' to him after my Public Law exam today, but Jesus fucking Christ, he is an arrogant son of a bitch. Seriously, "I am likely the most well and widely read critic of the arts online"? Has he not heard of Jonathan Rosenbaum or Roger Ebert or James Berdanelli?



I have literally never heard of Mr Schneider before today. He seems like a bit of a cock though.

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Post #: 74
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 8/11/2009 9:57:13 PM   
hiptobesquare_x


Posts: 214
Joined: 27/6/2009
From: Desolation Row, next door to Casanova.
 He quite literally is a cock on legs. When not having wet dreams about Oja Kodar, he can be found screaming his own name in bed.

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"I hate coconut. Not the flavour, but the consistency."

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Post #: 75
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 8/11/2009 10:43:31 PM   
Scott_


Posts: 1010
Joined: 26/6/2008
From: Leeds
 No idea what I just read but this Rob Schneider fella is awesome, an ass of epic proportions that I can't help but like him.

quote:

Obviously he’s been touching The Weekly Johnson


I love this phrase and I'm claiming it as my own.

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Post #: 76
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 8/11/2009 11:20:43 PM   
Rinc


Posts: 6336
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: A park bench, with a newspaper quilt
 Amazing stuff in that link, can't believe that bloke is so sad as to refer to posters on a forum who have criticised him. Is he really that insecure?!

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Post #: 77
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 9/11/2009 5:05:40 PM   
Olaf


Posts: 17939
Joined: 26/2/2007
From: Desolation Row
 Weepingsam's blog on the matter: http://listeningear.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-am-legion.html Legend 

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Post #: 78
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 9/11/2009 7:58:46 PM   
tommyjarvis


Posts: 5178
Joined: 2/11/2005
From: 1428 Elm Street

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Post #: 79
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 9/11/2009 8:38:48 PM   
paul_ie86


Posts: 6923
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: Chelsea Hotel #2
 Note the assertion of my terribility as a poet without any back up

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dan Schneider
a clown named Rawlinson



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Post #: 80
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 9/11/2009 9:35:49 PM   
jamesbondguy


Posts: 5241
Joined: 6/1/2007
From: The Village Green
 Having re-read most of Franny and Zooey over the past two days, I have to say that Dan reminds me so much of the English department bores that Franny rails against in the first part of the book. She was more right than I thought.

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Sitting By The Riverside...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Epiphany Demon
and it IS SHITTTT. SIBERian russia can go eat craob penis



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Post #: 81
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 10/11/2009 4:43:05 PM   
swordsandsandals


Posts: 4524
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Isle Of Man
 What a thread! This has gotta be one of the best since Moses' Lawn. A Teens4Christ for the latest generation, perhaps?

Either way, the guy is a giant turd, although that's possibly giving him a bit too much credit. Some turds have artistic value. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A9gukuizDU

And his reviews... meh. Year 10 Media Studies students write better coursework.


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quote:


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I'm now swords' bitch.

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Post #: 82
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 11/11/2009 12:02:28 PM   
Deviation


Posts: 16525
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: A bug-infested Malta
 Dear Flying Rodent, could you change my av to "I am WeepingSam and so is my wife"?

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dan Schneider

Some ass named Pigeon Army then writes:


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Post #: 83
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 11/11/2009 12:32:23 PM   
Pigeon Army


Posts: 6913
Joined: 29/1/2006
From: Pixar HQ, George Lucas' Office.
 No. 

_____________________________

PA's a moderator now? Scary. Now what the teenager says actually might have some credibility. I guess if you post enough in this forum and you ramble on enough, you too can become a mod. Overlords? Over what? an internet forum wow, you're real special. - JoeyPottr, hitting new mods with some knowledge.

Proud President of the 'Get Carlton Banks a TV Spin-off' Association.

Film of the Week - Gattaca (1997, Niccol)

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Post #: 84
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 11/11/2009 1:00:59 PM   
Deviation


Posts: 16525
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: A bug-infested Malta
 That's even better actually. The fact that I'm now swords, Jayb, paul, yours, hiptobesquare and TMWNS' bitch make me feel aroused.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dan Schneider

Some ass named Pigeon Army then writes:


(in reply to Pigeon Army)
Post #: 85
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 11/11/2009 1:05:54 PM   
Pigeon Army


Posts: 6913
Joined: 29/1/2006
From: Pixar HQ, George Lucas' Office.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation
The fact that I'm now swords, Jayb, paul, yours, hiptobesquare and TMWNS' bitch make me feel aroused.


Quoted for posterity.


_____________________________

PA's a moderator now? Scary. Now what the teenager says actually might have some credibility. I guess if you post enough in this forum and you ramble on enough, you too can become a mod. Overlords? Over what? an internet forum wow, you're real special. - JoeyPottr, hitting new mods with some knowledge.

Proud President of the 'Get Carlton Banks a TV Spin-off' Association.

Film of the Week - Gattaca (1997, Niccol)

(in reply to Deviation)
Post #: 86
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 11/11/2009 3:40:25 PM   
swordsandsandals


Posts: 4524
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Isle Of Man
 New sig. Win.

_____________________________

Thanks to the Winchester Bunny for an awesome av

quote:


ORIGINAL: Deviation

I'm now swords' bitch.

(in reply to Pigeon Army)
Post #: 87
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 13/11/2009 10:09:58 AM   
rick_7


Posts: 2593
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: The Story of the Weeping Sam-el
quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq

Reminds me of this guy




That's great.

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Post #: 88
RE: Top 10 Worst Dan Schneider Reviews - 13/11/2009 4:11:22 PM   
BoDixen


Posts: 145
Joined: 3/10/2005
From: Copenhagen, Denmark
 XKCD is Awesone.

Dan Schneider whoever he is is not.

It's a LONG essay on cyberstalking containing not a bit cyberstalking in itself.

Never heard of this big website cosmoetica where he writes or of him.

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Post #: 89
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