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ORIGINAL: Dowe2

Has anyone actually seen the film?

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ORIGINAL: popcornadict

I really don't see why everyone has such a problem with this movie? Its funny, fun and fast paced. Since when was the Arc of the Covenant more realistic than aliens or 'Inter-dimensional Beings'? This movie was pure entertainment, there was great chemistry and a welcome sense of tongue in cheek. Fair enough if it seems immature or lacking in comparason to the first three movies, the worlds changed since then, and hopefully so have you. In my opinion this was the best movie of last year, not perfect but lacking in the pretention and growling of The Dark Knight and the horrificly unlikeable characters of Sex and the City. Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was pure cinema, a popcorn flick... which I was entertained by in a cinema, popcorn in hand.

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ORIGINAL: CreepyThinMan

Jesus…..mother……fucking…..Christ that was soul crushingly awful. There was nothing, I repeat, NOTHING of any merit to this bloated, under written, badly acted, slapdash piece of steaming fucking maggot shit.

This is The Phantom Menace of Indiana Jones movies.  The scripting was a fucking mess, firstly because David Koepp is an inept fucking tool, who's work is nothing but surface level gloss, like the sheen of a fresh piece of shit in the desert sun. But then it doesn't help when the script was cobbled together, from half a dozen drafts by other, better writers. Then there's the FACT that they realized that they didn't even have a workable script and just made it up as they went along.

When you think the acting couldn't be any worse then Last Crusade, future generations will need to invent another, more powerful word for "shit” when they describe the "acting” in this movie which is so fucking bad that after I walked out of the theatre a crack whore said she'd "suck my cock for $20” and it sounded like fucking Shakespeare compared to the line reading's of this group of overpaid retarded fucking monkey's.

All of the leads we're so motherfucking rancid that I wanted to smash their fucking skulls in with the back end of a claw hammer. Ford looked like he was reading off cue cards during a Saturday Night Live rehearsal while Karen Allen seemed to be more interested in getting back to the bingo hall. Shia LaBouff has worn out his welcome. Hopefully Bumblebee will drop a giant metallic shit on him in the first 5 minutes of Transformers 2 to spare us of this fucking ass clown. Not only did Cate Blanchett's accent sound like a fucking moose farting but she seemed like she was auditioning for a remake of Ilsa : She Wolf of the SS, which is funny because I wanted to cut Spielberg's balls off and piss on George Lucas for making this cash grab. Jim Broadbent, Ray Winston and John Hurt's characters could have been completely written out and you wouldn't have even noticed that they we're missing since they added NOTHING that impacted the movie in any way that Indy couldn't have done or found out himself.

No drama, no suspense, no threat, no entertainment of any value is to be found in this soulless fucking piece of shit that it reeked more then a fucking concentration camp in the summer heat. Even the special effect's we're so shit that I have to wonder what the FUCK is going on at I.L.M. I don't have a problem with C.G.I. but when the C.G.I. is so badly rendered it makes me fucking sick at the thought of how much this shit cost. Almost everything was badly rendered, the car chase/sword fight had some of the worst C.G.I. rendering, matting and artificial lighting that I can remember seeing in at least five years. No one looked like they we're actually in whatever environment they we're supposed to be in and it didn't help that Janusz Kaminski's cinematography was nothing but hazing lighting/soft focus shit. A fucking blind man could have lit this movie better.

After the prequels, I've came to expect nothing but this level of shit from that fucking turkey neck money grubbing fat pussyface Lucas but this is the most lazy fucking shit I have EVER seen out of Spielberg and I thought it couldn't get any worse after The Lost World. Was he even paying attention to how shitty everything was or was he too busy polishing his Oscars and counting his money in between yelling "Action” and "Cut”? Every scene was so badly shot, framed and cut that I thought $pielberg was channeling Ed Wood while making this.  

This movie is a cocksucking disgrace. Everyone involved with it should hang their heads in shame for spraying diarrhea in my fucking eyes for a movie that seemed to go on for FUCKING EVER and my only worry is that there is no Hell for all of these people to burn in for eternity!!!FUCK!!!

Oh and I wrangled the crack whore down to $15, I'm not rich because I never repackaged old serials, bits and piece's of movies and made billions of dollars!!!