Cloud Cuckoo
Posts: 393
Joined: 7/2/2013 From: Mind your own
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Haters gonna hate, I guess. THE APPRENTICE 2013 Well I watched the first episode tonight and was delighted to see that this year's sorry lot look to be the biggest bunch of hateful, arrogant tossers yet. The Apprentice is a misanthrope's dream; frothing with indignation at the contestants is the highlight of my year. Literally; I don't get out much. CHARACTERS OF NOTE: EPISODE ONE ALEX The first ever Welsh contestant, he looks like the son Liza Minnelli and David Gest would have had if they met 23 years ago (he's 22; I checked). Notable for sporting, by choice, bizarrely shaped eyebrows Ming the Merciless would covet. Looks like he'll be getting all lairy in episode two and swearing at posh boy Jason - GOOD. Which leads me onto... JASON The obligatory toff, Jason appears to have gathered up Alex's eyebrow shavings and glued them between his own. Despite never having had a job, he is chockful of bullshit and has already shown an impressive aptitude for swaggering arrogance, stating, "I just feel my effortless superiority will take me all the way." Yes Jason, all the way to the Jobcentre. NEIL Dominant alpha male type who virtually sabotaged Jason's stint as Project Manager by bulldozing all over him. Very competitive, seems to be a bit of a prick. As such, has potential. LUISA "I have the energy of a Duracell bunny, the sex appeal of Jessica Rabbit, and a brain like Einstein." And a voice like Stacey Solomon uhuhuhurrrggghh. Clearly the wilting wallflower of the group *snort* she has already demonstrated her vast brain capacity by asking Jaz who the current president of England is. I HATE HER ALREADY. LEAH A qualified doctor, so probably does her own collagen lip injections. Notable for her pronounced Northern Irish accent. Appears cool and collected, or cold and calculating - time will tell. Possibly one to watch. UZMA Notable for her big shiny noise stud (you ain't in the Spice Girls, love) and escaping being fired. That is all. JAZ Nauseatingly cheerful and enthusiastic school teacher who gulped the poisoned chalice of being first Project Manager for the girls and came a cropper as a result. FIRED. More tomorrow!! Woop! I look forward to growing to hate the rest of them as much.
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In Thom we trust.
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