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RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 6:04:53 PM   
MonsterCat


Posts: 7934
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson

Who wants to be the first to try telling their partner that one-night stands are harmless?


Maybe I should tell my mum she overreacted when my dad fucked another woman that one time.

I mean, it only royally fucked up their marriage. Christ, what a reactionary cow she was.

_____________________________

"I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you."

Films watched in 2013

(in reply to rawlinson)
Post #: 10081
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 6:08:26 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.
She should have thought herself lucky he didn't enter into an emotional affair with the other woman. Not actually cheating on someone is far worse than fucking someone else.

(in reply to MonsterCat)
Post #: 10082
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 6:10:11 PM   
musht


Posts: 1868
Joined: 21/1/2009
From: Oireland

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shifty Bench


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I don't know why everyone getting confuse about one night stands and long term affairs. One night stands are perfectly harmless untill they get exposed. The long term affairs on the other hand is an addiction and stronger they become, the greater the drawback are when the affair ends.



Cheating is cheating, no matter how long it lasts.


And murder is murder, context is never taken into consideration.

I disagree with Ghidorah when he says a one night stand is harmless but there is a difference between a one night stand and romantic extra-marital relationship which has lasted 2 years; planning, intent, etc. To say that cheating is cheating is extremely narrow minded. I'm not justifying cheating in any way, and I don't believe Ghidorah is trying to either, but not all cheaters are cold-hearted who know exactly what they're doing and who they're hurting in the same way that not all murderers are emotionless psycopaths.

_____________________________

"SAVE ME, BARRY!!"

"What the hell are Regionals!?"

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(in reply to Shifty Bench)
Post #: 10083
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 6:38:21 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4205
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot

quote:

ORIGINAL: musht

I disagree with Ghidorah when he says a one night stand is harmless but there is a difference between a one night stand and romantic extra-marital relationship which has lasted 2 years; planning, intent, etc. To say that cheating is cheating is extremely narrow minded. I'm not justifying cheating in any way, and I don't believe Ghidorah is trying to either, but not all cheaters are cold-hearted who know exactly what they're doing and who they're hurting in the same way that not all murderers are emotionless psycopaths.


You seem to be suggesting that there's no "intent" involved with an extra-marital one-night-stand. Even if it's just a reckless drunk encounter there's still a desire and willingness to cheat. The damage is determined by how well a couple survives such revelations. Maybe not all "cheaters" are cold-hearted bastards and bitches, that's not what people are saying here. What we're saying is that an act of impulsive infidelity is no more or no less forgivable than a prolonged affair because it still involves an act of betrayal and lack of respect.

_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to musht)
Post #: 10084
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 7:01:15 PM   
musht


Posts: 1868
Joined: 21/1/2009
From: Oireland

quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown


quote:

ORIGINAL: musht

I disagree with Ghidorah when he says a one night stand is harmless but there is a difference between a one night stand and romantic extra-marital relationship which has lasted 2 years; planning, intent, etc. To say that cheating is cheating is extremely narrow minded. I'm not justifying cheating in any way, and I don't believe Ghidorah is trying to either, but not all cheaters are cold-hearted who know exactly what they're doing and who they're hurting in the same way that not all murderers are emotionless psycopaths.


You seem to be suggesting that there's no "intent" involved with an extra-marital one-night-stand. Even if it's just a reckless drunk encounter there's still a desire and willingness to cheat. The damage is determined by how well a couple survives such revelations. Maybe not all "cheaters" are cold-hearted bastards and bitches, that's not what people are saying here. What we're saying is that an act of impulsive infidelity is no more or no less forgivable than a prolonged affair because it still involves an act of betrayal and lack of respect.


Again context has to be taken into consideration and I'm not just simply referring to the act itself, what about the relationship prior to the affair, how they treat each other. I remember a lot of people on here were quite annoyed when the pictures of Charles Saatchi with his hands on Nigella's throat came out, so let's take an abusive marriage as an example; do we all really feel that an abused wife is as unforgivable for seeking love elsewhere as her abusive husband would be he did the same thing? To say that one night stands are as unforgivable as a prolonged affair is to assume that all one night stands are the same and all prolonged affairs are the same which they're not. Extra-marital affairs can be just as variable as murder but I think we can all agree that certain murders are more forgivable than others.

_____________________________

"SAVE ME, BARRY!!"

"What the hell are Regionals!?"

"color=#F1F1F1" Spoiler text "/color"

(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 10085
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 7:04:58 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: musht


quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown


quote:

ORIGINAL: musht

I disagree with Ghidorah when he says a one night stand is harmless but there is a difference between a one night stand and romantic extra-marital relationship which has lasted 2 years; planning, intent, etc. To say that cheating is cheating is extremely narrow minded. I'm not justifying cheating in any way, and I don't believe Ghidorah is trying to either, but not all cheaters are cold-hearted who know exactly what they're doing and who they're hurting in the same way that not all murderers are emotionless psycopaths.


You seem to be suggesting that there's no "intent" involved with an extra-marital one-night-stand. Even if it's just a reckless drunk encounter there's still a desire and willingness to cheat. The damage is determined by how well a couple survives such revelations. Maybe not all "cheaters" are cold-hearted bastards and bitches, that's not what people are saying here. What we're saying is that an act of impulsive infidelity is no more or no less forgivable than a prolonged affair because it still involves an act of betrayal and lack of respect.


Again context has to be taken into consideration and I'm not just simply referring to the act itself, what about the relationship prior to the affair, how they treat each other. I remember a lot of people on here were quite annoyed when the pictures of Charles Saatchi with his hands on Nigella's throat came out, so let's take an abusive marriage as an example; do we all really feel that an abused wife is as unforgivable for seeking love elsewhere as her abusive husband would be he did the same thing? To say that one night stands are as unforgivable as a prolonged affair is to assume that all one night stands are the same and all prolonged affairs are the same which they're not. Extra-marital affairs can be just as variable as murder but I think we can all agree that certain murders are more forgivable than others.


I think most people would prefer she got the hell out of the marriage rather than staying in an abusive relationship and just fucking someone else on the side though.

(in reply to musht)
Post #: 10086
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 7:31:29 PM   
musht


Posts: 1868
Joined: 21/1/2009
From: Oireland

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson


quote:

ORIGINAL: musht


quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown


quote:

ORIGINAL: musht

I disagree with Ghidorah when he says a one night stand is harmless but there is a difference between a one night stand and romantic extra-marital relationship which has lasted 2 years; planning, intent, etc. To say that cheating is cheating is extremely narrow minded. I'm not justifying cheating in any way, and I don't believe Ghidorah is trying to either, but not all cheaters are cold-hearted who know exactly what they're doing and who they're hurting in the same way that not all murderers are emotionless psycopaths.


You seem to be suggesting that there's no "intent" involved with an extra-marital one-night-stand. Even if it's just a reckless drunk encounter there's still a desire and willingness to cheat. The damage is determined by how well a couple survives such revelations. Maybe not all "cheaters" are cold-hearted bastards and bitches, that's not what people are saying here. What we're saying is that an act of impulsive infidelity is no more or no less forgivable than a prolonged affair because it still involves an act of betrayal and lack of respect.


Again context has to be taken into consideration and I'm not just simply referring to the act itself, what about the relationship prior to the affair, how they treat each other. I remember a lot of people on here were quite annoyed when the pictures of Charles Saatchi with his hands on Nigella's throat came out, so let's take an abusive marriage as an example; do we all really feel that an abused wife is as unforgivable for seeking love elsewhere as her abusive husband would be he did the same thing? To say that one night stands are as unforgivable as a prolonged affair is to assume that all one night stands are the same and all prolonged affairs are the same which they're not. Extra-marital affairs can be just as variable as murder but I think we can all agree that certain murders are more forgivable than others.


I think most people would prefer she got the hell out of the marriage rather than staying in an abusive relationship and just fucking someone else on the side though.


Of course, as would I and you be darn sure she'd get it even worse if he found out. But I would still say that she would be more forgivable despite them both being in the wrong. I'm not saying having an affair is in any way right under any circumstances; I just think it's extremely narrow-mined to say that all cheaters are equally as bad as each other without taking context and circumstances of the parties involved into consideration.

_____________________________

"SAVE ME, BARRY!!"

"What the hell are Regionals!?"

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(in reply to rawlinson)
Post #: 10087
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 7:53:53 PM   
sanchia


Posts: 18188
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Norwich
There are varying degrees such as emotionally abusive relationships such as Charles and Diana's (all recorded with the infamous "whatever love is" comment and the fact the emotionally abusive nature of the relationship lead to eating disorders and other issues as well as affairs) which are to a degree understandable. In the case of the actual affair mentioned which started this whole thing apparently Holden embarked on hers because "I was not getting validation at home" whatever that means which is a rather slender and shaky excuse to say the least.

_____________________________

Nothing to see here.



(in reply to musht)
Post #: 10088
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 8:09:04 PM   
musht


Posts: 1868
Joined: 21/1/2009
From: Oireland

quote:

ORIGINAL: sanchia

There are varying degrees such as emotionally abusive relationships such as Charles and Diana's (all recorded with the infamous "whatever love is" comment and the fact the emotionally abusive nature of the relationship lead to eating disorders and other issues as well as affairs) which are to a degree understandable. In the case of the actual affair mentioned which started this whole thing apparently Holden embarked on hers because "I was not getting validation at home" whatever that means which is a rather slender and shaky excuse to say the least.


She was married to Les Dennis, what more did she want?

_____________________________

"SAVE ME, BARRY!!"

"What the hell are Regionals!?"

"color=#F1F1F1" Spoiler text "/color"

(in reply to sanchia)
Post #: 10089
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 8:26:18 PM   
sanchia


Posts: 18188
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Norwich
Precisely. If she felt that so called "validation" was lacking why not seek to support the marriage and get some form of counselling so that that aspect could be strengthened within the marriage rather than seeking it elsewhere as the first option? It does tend to neutralise her statements.

_____________________________

Nothing to see here.



(in reply to musht)
Post #: 10090
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 8:59:22 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4205
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot
quote:

ORIGINAL: musht

Again context has to be taken into consideration and I'm not just simply referring to the act itself, what about the relationship prior to the affair, how they treat each other. I remember a lot of people on here were quite annoyed when the pictures of Charles Saatchi with his hands on Nigella's throat came out, so let's take an abusive marriage as an example; do we all really feel that an abused wife is as unforgivable for seeking love elsewhere as her abusive husband would be he did the same thing? To say that one night stands are as unforgivable as a prolonged affair is to assume that all one night stands are the same and all prolonged affairs are the same which they're not. Extra-marital affairs can be just as variable as murder but I think we can all agree that certain murders are more forgivable than others.


Well, of course, there are circumstances where people can be driven into the arms of others by abuse or neglect, that pretty much goes without saying. But if I may redirect you to this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I don't know why everyone getting confuse about one night stands and long term affairs. One night stands are perfectly harmless untill they get exposed. The long term affairs on the other hand is an addiction and stronger they become, the greater the drawback are when the affair ends.


This statement suggests nothing about mitigating circumstances under which one might be 'forgiven' for seeking physical or emotional gratification elsewhere. This statement is practically suggesting that one-night-stands don't even count as cheating due to them being harmless as long as the jilted party doesn't find out. This is the notion with which people here have a problem. It's the whole "it meant nothing to me!" defense. He sounds like an apologist. True, there is always context, but infidelity in whatever shape or form, is seldom harmless.


< Message edited by DancingClown -- 29/9/2013 9:04:21 PM >


_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to musht)
Post #: 10091
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 9:05:45 PM   
musht


Posts: 1868
Joined: 21/1/2009
From: Oireland
quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown

Well, of course, there are circumstances where people can be driven into the arms of others by abuse or neglect, that pretty much goes without saying. But if I may redirect you to this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I don't know why everyone getting confuse about one night stands and long term affairs. One night stands are perfectly harmless untill they get exposed. The long term affairs on the other hand is an addiction and stronger they become, the greater the drawback are when the affair ends.


This statement suggests nothing about mitigating circumstances under which one might be 'forgiven' for seeking physical or emotional gratification elsewhere. This statement is practically suggesting that one-night-stands don't even count as cheating due to them being harmless as long as the jilted party doesn't find out. This is the notion with which people here have a problem. It's the whole "it meant nothing to me!" defense. True, there is always context, but infidelity in whatever shape or form, is seldom harmless.



Can I redirect your attention to this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: musht

I disagree with Ghidorah when he says a one night stand is harmless


I stand by that, I would never say an affair was harmless, there's n such thing as a harmless affair, someone is always going to get hurt.

< Message edited by musht -- 29/9/2013 9:15:40 PM >


_____________________________

"SAVE ME, BARRY!!"

"What the hell are Regionals!?"

"color=#F1F1F1" Spoiler text "/color"

(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 10092
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 10:07:03 PM   
DancingClown


Posts: 4205
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: The Lot

quote:

ORIGINAL: musht

quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown

Well, of course, there are circumstances where people can be driven into the arms of others by abuse or neglect, that pretty much goes without saying. But if I may redirect you to this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I don't know why everyone getting confuse about one night stands and long term affairs. One night stands are perfectly harmless untill they get exposed. The long term affairs on the other hand is an addiction and stronger they become, the greater the drawback are when the affair ends.


This statement suggests nothing about mitigating circumstances under which one might be 'forgiven' for seeking physical or emotional gratification elsewhere. This statement is practically suggesting that one-night-stands don't even count as cheating due to them being harmless as long as the jilted party doesn't find out. This is the notion with which people here have a problem. It's the whole "it meant nothing to me!" defense. True, there is always context, but infidelity in whatever shape or form, is seldom harmless.



Can I redirect your attention to this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: musht

I disagree with Ghidorah when he says a one night stand is harmless


I stand by that, I would never say an affair was harmless, there's n such thing as a harmless affair, someone is always going to get hurt.


Well, yes. So what are we disagreeing about...?

_____________________________

Astronomic Tune Boy

'The town knew darkness, and darkness was enough.'

"Storm just bleeewwww me away..."

(in reply to musht)
Post #: 10093
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 11:02:34 PM   
Ghidorah

 

Posts: 2914
Joined: 6/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: DancingClown

quote:

ORIGINAL: musht

Again context has to be taken into consideration and I'm not just simply referring to the act itself, what about the relationship prior to the affair, how they treat each other. I remember a lot of people on here were quite annoyed when the pictures of Charles Saatchi with his hands on Nigella's throat came out, so let's take an abusive marriage as an example; do we all really feel that an abused wife is as unforgivable for seeking love elsewhere as her abusive husband would be he did the same thing? To say that one night stands are as unforgivable as a prolonged affair is to assume that all one night stands are the same and all prolonged affairs are the same which they're not. Extra-marital affairs can be just as variable as murder but I think we can all agree that certain murders are more forgivable than others.


Well, of course, there are circumstances where people can be driven into the arms of others by abuse or neglect, that pretty much goes without saying. But if I may redirect you to this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I don't know why everyone getting confuse about one night stands and long term affairs. One night stands are perfectly harmless untill they get exposed. The long term affairs on the other hand is an addiction and stronger they become, the greater the drawback are when the affair ends.


This statement suggests nothing about mitigating circumstances under which one might be 'forgiven' for seeking physical or emotional gratification elsewhere. This statement is practically suggesting that one-night-stands don't even count as cheating due to them being harmless as long as the jilted party doesn't find out. This is the notion with which people here have a problem. It's the whole "it meant nothing to me!" defense. He sounds like an apologist. True, there is always context, but infidelity in whatever shape or form, is seldom harmless.




I'm sorry for any offense I had caused by my lack of explaination. It's not a subject I would like to go into detail and it's hard to aknowledge how destructible affairs can be to a person without experiencing it first hand. Several members here had question if I was in an emotional affair, I even did so myself but now I know for a fact I was.
Affairs comes in all sort of shapes and sizes. They are not all equel to the damage they will cause and some are so damaging, the relationship or marriage will not survive it. So this is why I said one night stand are minor because both the cheater and the affair partner will not feel any withdrawn symptons. End of the day it's just sex and doesn't mean anything to them. However if the affair contain strong emotional bonds and passionate sex, it's going to be difficult for the cheater, committed partner and the affair partner in stopping this. Both the cheater and affair partner are addicted to each other and will have a hard time battling their addiction. In their minds they feel the affair is good when reality the whole thing is an illusion created by the brain and very toxic to each party involved. This is why it can be very hard to end an affair or keep going back into one, the brain pressure the person to continue the affair.



(in reply to DancingClown)
Post #: 10094
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 11:11:11 PM   
MonsterCat


Posts: 7934
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I'm sorry for any offense I had caused by my lack of explaination. It's not a subject I would like to go into detail and it's hard to aknowledge how destructible affairs can be to a person without experiencing it first hand. Several members here had question if I was in an emotional affair, I even did so myself but now I know for a fact I was.
Affairs comes in all sort of shapes and sizes. They are not all equel to the damage they will cause and some are so damaging, the relationship or marriage will not survive it. So this is why I said one night stand are minor because both the cheater and the affair partner will not feel any withdrawn symptons. End of the day it's just sex and doesn't mean anything to them. However if the affair contain strong emotional bonds and passionate sex, it's going to be difficult for the cheater, committed partner and the affair partner in stopping this. Both the cheater and affair partner are addicted to each other and will have a hard time battling their addiction. In their minds they feel the affair is good when reality the whole thing is an illusion created by the brain and very toxic to each party involved. This is why it can be very hard to end an affair or keep going back into one, the brain pressure the person to continue the affair.



It's been said before but I'll say it again: it doesn't matter if it's a one night stand or a more long term thing, sleeping with someone else other than your partner is just flat out wrong. There's no variables to consider; it's just plain wrong.

Stop talking crap.

< Message edited by MonsterCat -- 29/9/2013 11:17:10 PM >


_____________________________

"I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you."

Films watched in 2013

(in reply to Ghidorah)
Post #: 10095
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 11:13:26 PM   
sanchia


Posts: 18188
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Norwich
Sadly that does still sound like it trying to invalidate the destructive aspect to a relationship which the betrayal a one night stand can cause and they can mean an awful lot more than just being just sex because they still represents betrayal of trust and complete disrespect to the person they are in an actual relationship with. I have seen a relationship crumble because of a one night stands one partner had (not me but a friend) and seen what these can cause and they are just as damaging and just as longer term affairs.

_____________________________

Nothing to see here.



(in reply to Ghidorah)
Post #: 10096
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 11:49:10 PM   
Ghidorah

 

Posts: 2914
Joined: 6/10/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I'm sorry for any offense I had caused by my lack of explaination. It's not a subject I would like to go into detail and it's hard to aknowledge how destructible affairs can be to a person without experiencing it first hand. Several members here had question if I was in an emotional affair, I even did so myself but now I know for a fact I was.
Affairs comes in all sort of shapes and sizes. They are not all equel to the damage they will cause and some are so damaging, the relationship or marriage will not survive it. So this is why I said one night stand are minor because both the cheater and the affair partner will not feel any withdrawn symptons. End of the day it's just sex and doesn't mean anything to them. However if the affair contain strong emotional bonds and passionate sex, it's going to be difficult for the cheater, committed partner and the affair partner in stopping this. Both the cheater and affair partner are addicted to each other and will have a hard time battling their addiction. In their minds they feel the affair is good when reality the whole thing is an illusion created by the brain and very toxic to each party involved. This is why it can be very hard to end an affair or keep going back into one, the brain pressure the person to continue the affair.



It's been said before but I'll say it again: it doesn't matter if it's a one night stand or a more long term thing, sleeping with someone else other than your partner is just flat out wrong. There's no variables to consider; it's just plain wrong.

Stop talking crap.



I'm not talking crap because a long term affair is more damaging to the parties involved and a lot harder to correct. There is a greater chance of saving the relationship from a one night stand compared to a fall blown affair. Yes both one night stand and a full fledge affair are wrong but it doesn't change the fact the later is very harmful. Out of the two I know what I would rather deal with.

Edit

This is why Amanda Holden behaviour disgust me. She married for the fame, not for love and as for the result she did the ultimate bestrayel to her husband.

< Message edited by Ghidorah -- 29/9/2013 11:51:57 PM >

(in reply to MonsterCat)
Post #: 10097
RE: I am pissed off because... - 29/9/2013 11:53:03 PM   
rawlinson

 

Posts: 45002
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah


quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I'm sorry for any offense I had caused by my lack of explaination. It's not a subject I would like to go into detail and it's hard to aknowledge how destructible affairs can be to a person without experiencing it first hand. Several members here had question if I was in an emotional affair, I even did so myself but now I know for a fact I was.
Affairs comes in all sort of shapes and sizes. They are not all equel to the damage they will cause and some are so damaging, the relationship or marriage will not survive it. So this is why I said one night stand are minor because both the cheater and the affair partner will not feel any withdrawn symptons. End of the day it's just sex and doesn't mean anything to them. However if the affair contain strong emotional bonds and passionate sex, it's going to be difficult for the cheater, committed partner and the affair partner in stopping this. Both the cheater and affair partner are addicted to each other and will have a hard time battling their addiction. In their minds they feel the affair is good when reality the whole thing is an illusion created by the brain and very toxic to each party involved. This is why it can be very hard to end an affair or keep going back into one, the brain pressure the person to continue the affair.



It's been said before but I'll say it again: it doesn't matter if it's a one night stand or a more long term thing, sleeping with someone else other than your partner is just flat out wrong. There's no variables to consider; it's just plain wrong.

Stop talking crap.



I'm not talking crap because a long term affair is more damaging to the parties involved and a lot harder to correct. There is a greater chance of saving the relationship from a one night stand compared to a fall blown affair. Yes both one night stand and a full fledge affair are wrong but it doesn't change the fact the later is very harmful. Out of the two I know what I would rather deal with.


You've been talking crap through the entire conversation. You haven't got a clue what can be more damaging to a relationship and this sweeping statement that a one night stand is less harmful is fucking idiotic.

(in reply to Ghidorah)
Post #: 10098
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 12:05:00 AM   
MonsterCat


Posts: 7934
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I'm not talking crap because a long term affair is more damaging to the parties involved and a lot harder to correct. There is a greater chance of saving the relationship from a one night stand compared to a fall blown affair. Yes both one night stand and a full fledge affair are wrong but it doesn't change the fact the later is very harmful. Out of the two I know what I would rather deal with.



Bollocks.

It doesn't matter a fuck whether it's a one off thing or a long term thing. Sleeping with someone who isn't your partner is hurtful thing to do, from the outset it makes your partner feel like they're not enough for you.

I would like see how far you get with that mindset once you've put aside your emotional affair bollocks and actually find yourself in a proper adult relationship.

< Message edited by MonsterCat -- 30/9/2013 12:06:08 AM >


_____________________________

"I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you."

Films watched in 2013

(in reply to Ghidorah)
Post #: 10099
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 12:20:23 AM   
Ghidorah

 

Posts: 2914
Joined: 6/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I'm not talking crap because a long term affair is more damaging to the parties involved and a lot harder to correct. There is a greater chance of saving the relationship from a one night stand compared to a fall blown affair. Yes both one night stand and a full fledge affair are wrong but it doesn't change the fact the later is very harmful. Out of the two I know what I would rather deal with.



Bollocks.

It doesn't matter a fuck whether it's a one off thing or a long term thing. Sleeping with someone who isn't your partner is hurtful thing to do, from the outset it makes your partner feel like they're not enough for you.

I would like see how far you get with that mindset once you've put aside your emotional affair bollocks and actually find yourself in a proper adult relationship.



And what mindset are we talking about?

(in reply to MonsterCat)
Post #: 10100
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 12:25:23 AM   
Ghidorah

 

Posts: 2914
Joined: 6/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah


quote:

ORIGINAL: MonsterCat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah

I'm sorry for any offense I had caused by my lack of explaination. It's not a subject I would like to go into detail and it's hard to aknowledge how destructible affairs can be to a person without experiencing it first hand. Several members here had question if I was in an emotional affair, I even did so myself but now I know for a fact I was.
Affairs comes in all sort of shapes and sizes. They are not all equel to the damage they will cause and some are so damaging, the relationship or marriage will not survive it. So this is why I said one night stand are minor because both the cheater and the affair partner will not feel any withdrawn symptons. End of the day it's just sex and doesn't mean anything to them. However if the affair contain strong emotional bonds and passionate sex, it's going to be difficult for the cheater, committed partner and the affair partner in stopping this. Both the cheater and affair partner are addicted to each other and will have a hard time battling their addiction. In their minds they feel the affair is good when reality the whole thing is an illusion created by the brain and very toxic to each party involved. This is why it can be very hard to end an affair or keep going back into one, the brain pressure the person to continue the affair.



It's been said before but I'll say it again: it doesn't matter if it's a one night stand or a more long term thing, sleeping with someone else other than your partner is just flat out wrong. There's no variables to consider; it's just plain wrong.

Stop talking crap.



I'm not talking crap because a long term affair is more damaging to the parties involved and a lot harder to correct. There is a greater chance of saving the relationship from a one night stand compared to a fall blown affair. Yes both one night stand and a full fledge affair are wrong but it doesn't change the fact the later is very harmful. Out of the two I know what I would rather deal with.


You've been talking crap through the entire conversation. You haven't got a clue what can be more damaging to a relationship and this sweeping statement that a one night stand is less harmful is fucking idiotic.



Can we have a fucking swear jar here please? Anyone want to nominate any fucking charities while we are fucking at it?

(in reply to rawlinson)
Post #: 10101
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 12:27:20 AM   
MonsterCat


Posts: 7934
Joined: 24/3/2011
From: St. Albans, Hertfordshire
Errr, the mindset of thinking that a one-night stand is not as serious as something more long-term? Stick with the programme, slappy.

Either you actually believe in this naive twaddle, or you're on the wind-up. In any case I'm done with this conversation.

_____________________________

"I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you."

Films watched in 2013

(in reply to Ghidorah)
Post #: 10102
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 12:44:43 AM   
Shifty Bench

 

Posts: 15398
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Land of the Scots

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ghidorah
Can we have a fucking swear jar here please? Anyone want to nominate any fucking charities while we are fucking at it?


Yeah, I'm going with 'wind-up'.


_____________________________

Extended Edition Podcast- Episode 46:Threads Of Destiny (Star Wars Fan Film)

(in reply to Ghidorah)
Post #: 10103
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 1:05:20 AM   
Hood_Man


Posts: 12174
Joined: 30/9/2005
My dad bought me a rubik's cube when I was 5, and I broke it. Today I solved it.*

Now my life is without meaning.

Just trying to ease the tension



*Not the same one, as that is probably in a landfill somewhere in Germany.

(in reply to Shifty Bench)
Post #: 10104
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 7:47:10 AM   
jonson


Posts: 9085
Joined: 30/9/2005
I used to remove the corner ones, then put them back in the right place.
Although I couldn't do it in front of an audience, so it was more for my own pleasure.

_____________________________

I've got all the Barbie ones!!!

Yeah but you're old. Really old. Old. Old. Old. Old.

(in reply to Hood_Man)
Post #: 10105
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 8:42:47 AM   
sanchia


Posts: 18188
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Norwich
Apparently there is a knack to it. I know someone who can always solve them no matter how you twist them around. I lack the knack and the closest I ever got was two sides.

_____________________________

Nothing to see here.



(in reply to jonson)
Post #: 10106
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 10:23:17 AM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
Breaking bad is over.

_____________________________

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.


Bristol Bad Film Club
A place where movie fans can come and behold some of the most awful films ever put to celluloid.

(in reply to sanchia)
Post #: 10107
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 11:21:58 AM   
jonson


Posts: 9085
Joined: 30/9/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq

Breaking bad is over.


Not for me it's not, I'm on episode 8 Season 4.

_____________________________

I've got all the Barbie ones!!!

Yeah but you're old. Really old. Old. Old. Old. Old.

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)
Post #: 10108
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 11:47:49 AM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7854
Joined: 3/10/2005

quote:

ORIGINAL: jonson


quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq

Breaking bad is over.


Not for me it's not, I'm on episode 8 Season 4.


Any good fella, I'm thinking of giving it a go?

(in reply to jonson)
Post #: 10109
RE: I am pissed off because... - 30/9/2013 12:18:12 PM   
sanchia


Posts: 18188
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Norwich
I'm on episode 3 season 1.

_____________________________

Nothing to see here.



(in reply to Sinatra)
Post #: 10110
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