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RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 11/10/2007 2:48:23 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
Jonson - Latin is useful, and should be compulsory. As well as giving you a solid understanding of the roots of grammar, it also gives you an insight into the way words are interconnected that you may not otherwise gain. Seeing connections in words allows people to put the 'educated' bit into an 'educated guess' when confronted with words with which you may not be familiar. The natural extension of this is that it helps when learning other Latin-based languages - which means most European languages. Guaranteed that your daughters will find it dull as sin while they're doing it, if they do, and will be sick of amo amas amat amamus amatis amant, but it has lasting repurcussions.

Re looking at schools, I remember my mum telling me what she did when looking at schools for me. Obviously look at the facilities, the teachers, the general ambience, but what she found most useful was to look into the eyes of the pupils there. Don't stare so much that they think you're some sort of pervert (I'll resist a joke here...!), but look into their eyes to see if they seem happy, or content inside.

Regarding my own children, I know what you mean about it seeming like a game for the first few years. With my son at school now, and coming home with his school bag, in his school uniform, and being a proper little boy, I've had to realise quite quickly that this is actually real. I mean, I know it's real, obviously. But since being a parent is still relatively new, it's almost like you're role-playing. I often think about how I'm going to be when my daughter is older, and how much I'm going to worry, but not so much wit my son. That could be seen as being sexist, but I don't think so. Most of us who comment on this thread are fathers, and as such are naturally going to be more protective of our daughters than our sons. I'm sure the opposite might be true for mothers, but I don't know. My son can be sensitive, but he's outgoing, has a good social existence, and seems, what's the phrase, well-rounded. He also has a fair amount of that rare and mythical substance known little to children - common sense. Hopefully that sort of thing will come in useful both for him, and his sister who also has the beginnings of good common sense, in situations like those outlined by Jonson and Sinatra, when they're older.



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Post #: 151
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 11/10/2007 9:27:11 PM   
pettsy

 

Posts: 5969
Joined: 30/9/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinatra

It's an amazing school - mixed (I think same-sex schools can sometimes cause probs later on in life) but some of the best results in Essex - it really pushes the pupils.


Sinatra, would you mind elaborating on that a bit for me?  What kind of problems are you referring to?

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Post #: 152
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 11/10/2007 11:18:18 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
If he's referring to a possible inexperience with dealing with members of the opposite sex, then I can appreciate that idea. I went to an all boy's school from the age of 8 to 13, which I'm sure you can appreciate, is a fairly volatile time in a young man's life.What it did leave me with, despite me loving my time there immensely, was a distinct lack of anything approaching confidence with the laydeez. I'm not saying this is true of all same-sex schools (and the school is now mixed). But this, combined with a lack of female relatives (two brothers, no cousins living within a 200 mile radius) didn't help!

The stereotypical association of all boys schools and homosexuality wasn't something I ever encountered. The only time homosexuality was ever mentioned was, as was the way back then, as an insult. When I think back at some of the sexist, racist, homophobic 'jokes' we all told as kids, I shudder. Thankfully I'd never think of telling any today, but when you have jokes that start, 'There was an Englishman, an Irishman, a German, and a Jew...', you know it's not going to end nicely.

Getting back on topic, there is a benefit in, if not separating the genders into different schools, then separating the genders for the actual teaching. Males and females process information differently, and what works for one doesn't for the other, and vice versa. There's evidence, somewhere, to show that by adapting teaching styles to each gender, the child's potential can be more fully realised. It, apparently, is one reason why girls tend to do better than boys nowadays, as teaching styles have gradually, over the decades, changed in style.

Sinatra, feel free to contradict anything I've said - I interjected as I had a valid viewpoint on same sex schools!


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Post #: 153
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 12/10/2007 9:39:02 AM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7841
Joined: 3/10/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: pettsy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinatra

It's an amazing school - mixed (I think same-sex schools can sometimes cause probs later on in life) but some of the best results in Essex - it really pushes the pupils.


Sinatra, would you mind elaborating on that a bit for me?  What kind of problems are you referring to?


Sure... Homer has summed it up pretty well though.
And please bear in mind I said "sometimes" - but then miced schools also have their own problems as we all know.
But, I have known many guys who went to same sex schools who said that on reflection they would have preferred a decent mixed-sex school. I think a balance is important in anything in life and having purely a mens mentality and viewpoint - especially on discussion within the group tasks, became tiresome. Women, I think its fair to say also mature in certain areas faster than guys and this can also be a benefit regarding pushing themselves further etc... I read a really good article on this somewhere, I'll try and find it.

As I said, mixed schools also have drawbacks I guess, so it comes down to personal preference and mine would be for both sexes to mix together as a group. (In a non-sexual sense)

< Message edited by Sinatra -- 12/10/2007 9:45:11 AM >

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Post #: 154
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 12/10/2007 9:51:39 AM   
pettsy

 

Posts: 5969
Joined: 30/9/2005
Its funny you should mention it really because I was having a discussion on another forum about this yesterday, and it got me thinking.  I went to an all-girls school, and I think my experiences there left me with an inherent distrust towards other girls.  I've always got on better with men because I was a bit of a tomboy (and still am ), but I think that was reinforced during my school years.  I can see the educational benefits of segregation, but its funny watching people in my class who haven't been taught in a mixed-sex classroom for a long time, working out how to communicate.  Obviously workplaces aren't segregated, and it was always interesting in my job seeing people from same-sex schools figuring out how to work together. 

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Post #: 155
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 12/10/2007 11:30:50 AM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7841
Joined: 3/10/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: pettsy

Its funny you should mention it really because I was having a discussion on another forum about this yesterday, and it got me thinking.  I went to an all-girls school, and I think my experiences there left me with an inherent distrust towards other girls.  I've always got on better with men because I was a bit of a tomboy (and still am ), but I think that was reinforced during my school years.  I can see the educational benefits of segregation, but its funny watching people in my class who haven't been taught in a mixed-sex classroom for a long time, working out how to communicate.  Obviously workplaces aren't segregated, and it was always interesting in my job seeing people from same-sex schools figuring out how to work together. 


Blimey yeah... I never thought of it from the perspective before....
Interesting.

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Post #: 156
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 12/10/2007 12:43:04 PM   
jonson


Posts: 9011
Joined: 30/9/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: pettsy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinatra

It's an amazing school - mixed (I think same-sex schools can sometimes cause probs later on in life) but some of the best results in Essex - it really pushes the pupils.


Sinatra, would you mind elaborating on that a bit for me?  What kind of problems are you referring to?


Summed up pretty well above but here's my take.

My daughters both went to a same sex school from the age of 4. The eldest I'd describe as being a bit more "rough and tumble". Basically she didn't fall into their stereotype as a girlie girlie and more importantly she had personality, wit and charm (a bit like her Dad )
Now I had a problem originally regarding same sex school as I just think both sexes need to mix.
My wife (and her mother) thought different, and to be honest, 7 years ago my kids education wasn't that high on my lost of priorities, so I backed down and trusted my wife's judgement (she is a teacher after all, and went to an all-girls school herself) and so they both went to an all-girls school.
Well as it happened after 3 years we withdrew them both. My eldest through having a strong personality and confidence beyone her years was waltzing through school, leading the other girls and there was no-one capable of standing up to her (she wasn't a bully, just a bossy-pants) Boys needed to be introduced.
So they changed schools (to a fucking dearer one I might add ) and now they happily mix with boys and girls, and IMO they have both benefited from it. The only downside is now the 2 main options for secondary schooling (ie the feeder schools from the prep school they are at) are same sex schools.
I raised this issue last week at a parents evening at our favoured option, and they informed me that while the majority of lessons are same sex, they do mix in with the boys school when it comes to social events, sports days and obviously, they can snog in the car park if they want. I think this is possibly the best of both worlds. They can mix with boys on a restricted but daily basis but they don't have the distraction of them in the classroom.

Again it's the same old story with bringing up kids, you just have to go with your instincts, use your common sense, take advice and keep your fingers crossed.


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Post #: 157
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 12/10/2007 9:06:35 PM   
Funkyrae


Posts: 20363
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Just stick a pin in a map
quote:

ORIGINAL: pettsy

Its funny you should mention it really because I was having a discussion on another forum about this yesterday, and it got me thinking.  I went to an all-girls school, and I think my experiences there left me with an inherent distrust towards other girls.  I've always got on better with men because I was a bit of a tomboy (and still am ), but I think that was reinforced during my school years.  I can see the educational benefits of segregation, but its funny watching people in my class who haven't been taught in a mixed-sex classroom for a long time, working out how to communicate.  Obviously workplaces aren't segregated, and it was always interesting in my job seeing people from same-sex schools figuring out how to work together. 


Hee!!  Here we go, the Hidden Curriculum at work.  Girl's who climb trees, scrape their knees and generally don't act in the way we assume girls should behave are bracketed into "tomboy".  As if there's something wrong with that behaviour and shouldn't be done.  It's back to the old books again of the boys outside doing the "hard" work and the girls inside sewing and cooking.  Those "norms" are there and we all still use 'em.


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Post #: 158
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 15/10/2007 11:57:05 AM   
Sinatra


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Joined: 3/10/2005
quote:

It's back to the old books again of the boys outside doing the "hard" work and the girls inside sewing and cooking


Sounds fair enough to me....

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Post #: 159
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 15/10/2007 8:33:51 PM   
Funkyrae


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From: Just stick a pin in a map
And they say neanderthal man is extinct 

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Post #: 160
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 15/10/2007 8:40:12 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
quote:

ORIGINAL: Funkyrae

And they say neanderthal man is extinct 


Nope, we're just snoozing during the great SaturdayAfternoonMatchassic Age...


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Post #: 161
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 16/10/2007 4:19:54 PM   
Your Funny Uncle


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Felt the little lad kicking for the first time yesterday, bloody weird but a very special moment  Reminded me of a facehugger from Alien......

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Post #: 162
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 16/10/2007 4:21:44 PM   
Felix

 

Posts: 15692
Joined: 29/9/2005
From: Brighton
quote:

ORIGINAL: Your Funny Uncle

Felt the little lad kicking for the first time yesterday, bloody weird but a very special moment  Reminded me of a facehugger from Alien......


Its amazing isnt it. Just wait till you can see her stomach move as it shifts around inside! Its seems like our little one reacts to my voice, he kicks the hell out of me if I talk right next to him.

To be fair though, most people do that anyway...

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Post #: 163
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 25/10/2007 7:53:59 PM   
pixiedevil_pop


Posts: 502
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Amity Island
I remember Jacob getting the hiccups when I was preganant with him, I was about 8 months along, sitting there and my bump bouncing every couple of minutes, it looked pretty funny too!

As a mother, I worry about the future concerning tegan, about boys and sex. I'm petrified she'll grow up far too soon because I want her to have a proper childhood and not a messed up one. I just know we have to try our best with her. Now that Jacob has started school, I feel like I've lost a little bit of him. I've been in the very lucky position of being a 'fly on the wall' with playgroup and nursery as I work there. I'm no longer in his little world and when I ask what hes done at school that day he says 'nothing' who did you play with 'no one'. I can see him on the yard (nursery is connected to the school) and he's playing with everyone and the teachers tell me he's getting on fine but I'm always worried because I don't have access to this part of his life now. I'm worried about bullying, peer pressure etc....but then it comes to a point where the worry has to stop, you have to believe in yourself as a good parent and trust in the fact that your fantastic children will probably be fine!


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Post #: 164
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 26/10/2007 9:01:53 AM   
Sinatra


Posts: 7841
Joined: 3/10/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixiedevil_pop

I remember Jacob getting the hiccups when I was preganant with him, I was about 8 months along, sitting there and my bump bouncing every couple of minutes, it looked pretty funny too!

As a mother, I worry about the future concerning tegan, about boys and sex. I'm petrified she'll grow up far too soon because I want her to have a proper childhood and not a messed up one. I just know we have to try our best with her. Now that Jacob has started school, I feel like I've lost a little bit of him. I've been in the very lucky position of being a 'fly on the wall' with playgroup and nursery as I work there. I'm no longer in his little world and when I ask what hes done at school that day he says 'nothing' who did you play with 'no one'. I can see him on the yard (nursery is connected to the school) and he's playing with everyone and the teachers tell me he's getting on fine but I'm always worried because I don't have access to this part of his life now. I'm worried about bullying, peer pressure etc....but then it comes to a point where the worry has to stop, you have to believe in yourself as a good parent and trust in the fact that your fantastic children will probably be fine!



Well you sound like an amazing Mum to me.
Great names by the way, Tegan and Jacob.
I had/have (but to a lesser extent now) those same worries.
My eldest is 13 then Grace is 10 (with James just 3 months) I'm pretty proud of the job we've done as parents and they've proved a couple of times already that they can be trusted... I still worry and I doubt that will go away for a long time but all you can do is the best you can and then leave it up to them... oh and really enjoy those years when they want your attention because pretty soon it'll be the other way round I guess...!?

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Post #: 165
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 26/10/2007 1:02:57 PM   
Your Funny Uncle


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I have to say this thread is magnificantly enlightening, I just know that in a few months (probably even years) I'll still be coming back here to check out the latest tips/ feelings in the empire parenting world.....

The Mrs had a cry yesterday for the first time since she found out she's pregnant, she said she's starting to feel a bit scared and worried she won't be a good mum. I calmed her down eventually and sorted her out, bless.

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Post #: 166
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 26/10/2007 6:34:06 PM   
pixiedevil_pop


Posts: 502
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Amity Island
Thanks Sinatra, I like the names too!  Thanks for the amazing mum bit, I'm just going to accept that comment for a change! It sounds like you're a really good dad!
I had to smile today, walking through town centre Jacob was singing the original Transformers cartoon song hehehe! Been making sure he's getting some quality dvd viewing. Have also got Thundercats for him to devour and Dungeons and Dragons. My parents have also introduced Tegan to Buttonmoon and she loves it!!! Don't get me wrong, they don't watch tones of television but I'm not going to stop them watching a little today.
Wondered what peoples thoughts on hitting are. New story today that Wales (where myself and mr homer live) is planning on making it crime.


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Post #: 167
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 26/10/2007 10:48:24 PM   
clarabell


Posts: 8409
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From: An Oubliette
A mum smacked her child in the shop I work in last week and I couldn;t quite make up my mind what I thought of it to be honest.  On the one hand, the kid was hitting her and was getting out of control, and I thought the mother was doing well to take back control and actually do something about her daughter's behaviour (there's too many parents who just let their kids get away with murder in public places in my opinion), but on the other hand it wasn't nice to witness it and see it happen in front of the customers in our shop.  I was smacked as a child if my behaviour was bad enough for my parents to think it warranted that punishment (it didn;t happen all that often), and I've turned out not too badly at all.  In fact, I actually think it did me good, because a smack always upset me enough to know that I didn;t want it to happen again.  I guess kids can go either way if they're smacked - they either fight back against it and resent parents for doing it or they realise they've misbehaved and it deters bad behaviour.

Going back to the subject of kids misbehaving in public places - I honestly do think it's shocking how much kids can get away with these days in shops.  I constantly witness pretty bad behaviour at my work and parents doing nothing about it.  There were two boys in today who were being little shits and their mother couldn't control them at all - she just shouted at them every now and again and threatened them with not getting them a Macdonalds.  Seeing kids throwing tantrums in the shop is embarassing for me and I would be mortified if I was their mum.  But a lot of the mothers (i;m not being sexist - it is mostly women in the shop) just carry on with shopping or trying on clothes and let their kids run riot.  We had two women in the other day (believed to be sisters) who had about 4/5 kids between them.  One was trying on clothes and the other was sitting with one of the kids (in a buggy) and giving opinions on the first women's outfits.  The rest of the kids were not being watched (including a second toddler in another buggy who was being looked after by an older child) and they were picking up sweets and raking amongst clothes.  The second woman (who was sitting on out footwear seats) then caught my attention and pointed out a spillage on the floor which one of the kids was stood next to looking guilty.  I tried to be nice and asked if juice had been spilt, but the woman indicated her son and said "no, he's pissed".  If I had been this woman I would have been mortified and apologetic and offered to help clean it up or something, but the fucking cow just left me and two other shop assisstants to sort it while she strapped the soaking wet boy back into a buggy and left him stting there for another 10 minutes while she and the other woman decided on which pair of jeans were the best and then went and bought them.  We were all thoroughly angry with the family and I just couldn't comprehend how mothers could act like that.  I'd just hate to think of my kids leaving behind such a bad impression when they were out in a shop or public place

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Post #: 168
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 29/10/2007 10:27:44 AM   
KennyM


Posts: 2816
Joined: 7/4/2006
I think there is a difference between hiting your child and reprimanding them. Again, I was prone to a few skelps when I was really bad as a youngster, but I wasn't thumped for the first wee thing that I did wrong. I have so far not had to lift my hand to my daughter (especially because she's only three!) and I don't think I ever could. If I raise my voice enough she takes notice so hopefully that'll be enough for her.

< Message edited by KennyM -- 29/10/2007 10:28:49 AM >

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Post #: 169
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 29/10/2007 10:30:49 AM   
Felix

 

Posts: 15692
Joined: 29/9/2005
From: Brighton
Painted the nursery over the weekend. Scary! Its all very real now.

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Post #: 170
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 29/10/2007 11:08:52 AM   
KennyM


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Just a neutral colour or do you know the sex Felix?

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Post #: 171
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 29/10/2007 11:14:16 AM   
Felix

 

Posts: 15692
Joined: 29/9/2005
From: Brighton
Neutral colours for now. Nice calming room for it!

Dont know the sex, have to wait until it pops out for that.

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Post #: 172
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 29/10/2007 8:13:46 PM   
KennyM


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Better that way. I though tha I wanted to know, but was pleased that we never found out

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Post #: 173
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 29/10/2007 11:53:02 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20118
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From: Springfield
What, never? I'd hope you know by now..... 

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Post #: 174
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 30/10/2007 1:01:03 AM   
Your Funny Uncle


Posts: 11931
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From: The Deepest Depths Of Joypad.....
quote:

ORIGINAL: Felix

Painted the nursery over the weekend. Scary! Its all very real now.


Snap. Just got one more coat to do on the woodwork, put up the border and I'm done. Then it's just a case of putting up the cot, chest of drawers and moving the chair in. Another thing to strike from the 'to do' list.

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Post #: 175
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 31/10/2007 9:40:20 PM   
Your Funny Uncle


Posts: 11931
Joined: 14/11/2005
From: The Deepest Depths Of Joypad.....
All done, Border on, Cot and Drawers up. Just pick up the chair from my mums. The Mrs is desperate to furnish it with the bedding, cuddly toys etc but I've pointed out seen as he's not due for another 3 months then he'll be eating dust when he comes home  I've allowed her to put the curtains up though

It was the Mrs last day at work today, she was most impressed she got a card and chocolates. God knows what she's going to do for the next three months, sit around and be fat I should expect



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Post #: 176
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 31/10/2007 9:44:10 PM   
Felix

 

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From: Brighton
Why's she gone on maternity 3 months before YFU? That seems very early!

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Post #: 177
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 31/10/2007 9:50:17 PM   
Your Funny Uncle


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Well she wants to take her full maternity and you can start it 11 weeks before you're due, I think that date is something like the 11th November, but she still had a lot of holiday days left so has used those (otherwise she'd only lose her entitlement come 31st december)

We had a chat a couple of months back and decided there isn't a major need for her to work (we don't rely on her wages for anything other than expendible) so the best thing would be for her to take her full entitlement and let her enjoy her pregnancy and prepare for being a mum.

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Post #: 178
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 31/10/2007 10:04:40 PM   
Felix

 

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From: Brighton
But doesnt that mean she only gets 6 months afterwards?

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Post #: 179
RE: Kids & Babies Thread - 31/10/2007 10:15:50 PM   
Your Funny Uncle


Posts: 11931
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From: The Deepest Depths Of Joypad.....
Oops, sorry I neglected to say that she isn't going back to work until baby is at pre-school/school. No wonder it didn't make sense!

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