clownfoot
Posts: 7739
Joined: 26/9/2005 From: The ickle town of Fuck, Austria
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St Peter and his mate are in heaven on one of the many numerous golf-courses to be found in the cloud kingdom. They've played 17 holes and, for the first time in a long while, St Peter is one shot up on his colleague as they approach the 18th. All he needs is his mate to bollocks up his next shot and he's in with a shot of not having to buy the first round at the clubhouse for once! St Peter's first up and cracks a perfect drive down the fairway; he can barely contain the big-wide grin surfacing on his face. His mate, taking little notice of St Peter's attempts to rile him, steps up to the tee. He places his club up to the ball. Takes a practice swing. Twitches his hips slightly. Takes another practice swing. The birds and the animals in the woods behind go quiet in anticipation of the shot. And then.... LUMP... the ball is pinged down the fairway. St Peter looks up and, yes, yes, he's hooked it, he's bloody hooked it. The ball deviates in flight and heads off deep into the woods to the left. St Peter's on the floor laughing his head off at such a crap drive, fully in the knowledge that there's no way he can lose now. When, all of a sudden, a little bunny rabbit darts out from the woods on the left and runs across the fairway heading towards the pin. St Peter notices the bunny has something in his mouth and a look of horror hits his face. It's his playing partners golf ball. Unbelieveable. The bunny keeps running in the direction of the pin still with the golf ball held tightly in his little bunny mouth. But, from out of nowhere, an eagle swoops down onto the bunny and begins to fly off into the direction of the woods to the right. St Peter looks confused and mumbles under his breath "What the hell's going on?" However, just as the eagle, still holding onto the little bunny rabbit who's holding the golfball in its mouth, is about to reach the edge of the fairway, Farmer Giles comes out of his farmhouse with his shotgun. He points his weapon in the direction of the eagle, still holding onto the bunny that's holding his playing partners ball in his mouth, and… BANG! The shot from Farmer Giles gun wings the eagle and his down, his heading down, circling towards the green whilst still clutching onto the bunny, that's still got the golf ball in his mouth. SPLAT! The two creatures hit the ground in a carnival of blood and guts. St Peter looks on hoping that this silliness has ended and he can go back to winning the golf match. Yet, whilst the bunny's corpse is twitching, it let's go of the ball from between its mouth and the ball rolls away up the green. And it keeps on rolling, rolls a bit more, and more still before, inevitably, it gets closer and closer to the pin and then... Plonk! The ball is in the cup Hole in One! St Peter's mate turns to St. Peter sporting a rather satisfactory smirk. St Peter turns to his mate and says "Are you here to play golf God, or are you just going to fuck around!"
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Evil Mod 2 - Hail he who has fallen from the sky to deliver us from the terror of the Deadites! http://www.thepixelempire.net/index.html http://clownfootsinversemidas.blogspot.com/
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