Register  |   Log In  |  
Sign up to our weekly newsletter    
Follow us on   
Search   
Forum Home Register for Free! Log In Moderator Tickets FAQ Users Online

RE: The Jokes Thread

 
Logged in as: Guest
  Printable Version
All Forums >> [On Another Note...] >> Off Topic >> Mammoth Threads >> RE: The Jokes Thread Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: The Jokes Thread - 14/11/2007 5:31:49 PM   
Jackal

 

Posts: 5030
Joined: 30/9/2005
What's the fastest cake in thw world?  'Scone.

Why did the scarecrow win a nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field.

How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler.

_____________________________

Contro il fascismo. Ora e sempre. Resistenza.

(in reply to Mason Verger)
Post #: 31
RE: The Jokes Thread - 15/11/2007 12:03:28 PM   
Biggus


Posts: 7639
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Not Local
I used to go out with a trampolinist from Prague.

She was the original bouncing Czech.

_____________________________

"They offered me a hundred grand. You wanna know something? When I found out I'd get my hands on you, I said I'd do it for nothing."

http://fletchsworldoffilm.wordpress.com/

(in reply to Mason Verger)
Post #: 32
RE: The Jokes Thread - 15/11/2007 12:21:41 PM   
Sledge Hammer


Posts: 1670
Joined: 14/11/2007
What do Mexicans put under their carpets?

Underlay, Underlay....


I'm here all week.................

_____________________________

new sports forum - http://www.606v2.com

Check it out!

(in reply to Biggus)
Post #: 33
RE: The Jokes Thread - 15/11/2007 2:17:40 PM   
James74


Posts: 4314
Joined: 3/2/2006
From: Glasgow
Whats E.T. short for?

Cos he's got little legs.



(in reply to Sledge Hammer)
Post #: 34
RE: The Jokes Thread - 15/11/2007 3:27:50 PM   
Mason Verger


Posts: 4724
Joined: 13/1/2006
From: Bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri





FUCK SHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT TIT WANK ARSE



An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the
streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon.

Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window
'Pianist wanted for evening performances'.

'Fucking get in there you cunt!' he says to himself and goes to the bar.
'Get the fucking manager of this pigs shit middle class wankhole please
you cunt', he says to a somewhat startled barman. The barman however
obliges and his manager comes upstairs. 'Can I help you sir?' he says
'Yes you can you fat piece of shit, I saw your poxy advert in the
cunting window and I'm here to audition.....wanker.' The manager is
naturally put off by the man's abrasive manner but his dire need for a
top class pianist forces him to agree to an audition. The first tune he
Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number, not too involving, yet
utterly melodic. At the end the thrilled barman cries, 'Wonderful,
wonderful. What was that called?' 'That song was called "Excuse me prime
minister but I just jizzed in your daughter's eye, and now the cunts
blind...'

'Oh' says the manager 'err, can you play me another. Something a little
less "lively". 'Wanker..' interjects the pianist before launching into a
powerful ballad which leaves the manager in tears. The manager through
his salty teardrops asks him the title.

'That little number was called "Sometimes when you do a bird up the shit
box you get crap on your bell end.' I see' says the manager, 'Have you
got any songs with less offensive titles?' 'Well there's my jazz number
"Do you want me to split your ringpiece", or there's the epic "I don't
care if you're older my dear, you've still got nice jugs". 'Look' says
the manager interrupting, I think you're a superb pianist but the title
of your songs are a little "racy". I will hire you on the condition that
you do not introduce your songs or speak to the audience.' 'Fuck it'
says the pianist 'Why not'. On his first night everything is going
superbly the crowd are lapping up his repertoire and his silence is
being received as modesty.

The only thing putting off the pianist is that in the front row there is
a gorgeous blonde in a black evening dress with a split up the side
revealing the tops of her stockings, and a plunging neckline which
boasts a proud and inviting cleavage.

During the interval the pianist has got such a stonking hard on that he
decides to go to the bog and knock one out. Just as he has shot his muck
he hears himself being re-introduced over the tannoy, so he rushes back
to the stage and finishes his act. After the show he is at the bar
relaxing when the blonde approaches him.'Hi' she says. 'Hello' he
winces, struggling to hold in the expletives. She leans over and
whispers in his ear, 'Do you know your cock is hanging out of your
trousers, and spunk is dribbling onto your shoes?' 'Know it?' says the
pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently,

I fucking wrote it!!!'

_____________________________

Mind like parachute - only function when open.

Be excellent to each other.

(in reply to James74)
Post #: 35
RE: The Jokes Thread - 29/11/2007 3:38:59 PM   
homersimpson_esq


Posts: 20121
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield
Q. What do you call an online-reference-source-loving child molester?

A. A wikipediaphile.

< Message edited by homersimpson_esq -- 29/11/2007 3:39:46 PM >


_____________________________

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.


Bristol Bad Film Club
A place where movie fans can come and behold some of the most awful films ever put to celluloid.

(in reply to Mason Verger)
Post #: 36
RE: The Jokes Thread - 29/11/2007 4:12:51 PM   
MOTH

 

Posts: 3479
Joined: 3/10/2005
From: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
My favourite joke - posted again for those who missed it first time round.

A man and his wife are awakened at 3.00am on a stormy night by a loud pounding on the front door of their house. The man gets up in a grumpy mood and goes downstairs and opens the front door to see an apologetic stranger, soaking wet, standing on the doorstep in the pouring rain.
ďIím really sorry to wake you at this hour of the night, but I was wondering if you would help give me a push?Ē he says.

"Piss off," says the husband, "it is three o'clock in the morning and itís pouring rain!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I didn't, it's three in the morning and it is pouring outside!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about six months ago when we broke down late at night in the middle of nowhere and we had to go to a strangerís house for help and they couldnít do enough for us? You should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man feels guilty and decides to help after all. He goes down, opens the door and stares out into the dark, rainy night.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need that push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!"

_____________________________

I've only gone and set up a blog! This week I've been mostly reviewing The Lego Movie and Wadjda. Click: The Fast Picture Show

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)
Post #: 37
RE: The Jokes Thread - 29/11/2007 4:38:52 PM   
HIM


Posts: 9734
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Star Trekkin', across the universe
quote:

ORIGINAL: Scruffybobby

Mike goes to to pick up a friend who's been to Glasgow for the first time on a business trip. When his mate steps off the train he's got a huge bruise on his face and his mouth is all swollen and cut "What the hell happend to you?" he asks his mate "Some barmaid just  punched me for no reason"  his mate replies.  " I just don't understand it" "Right," Mike says "Tell me everything that happened" So his mate tells him the story

"I got to Glasgow, went for the meeting, which went great, then when it was over I had a couple of hour before I had to get the train. So I nipped into a pub to get something to eat. I ordered my meal and asked the barman to watch my bag while I wnet out for a smoke. He said "tell you what, I'll put it behind the bar for you and you can get it when you leave" so I hand it over. The when I'm ready to leave he's gone and there's this girl behind the bar. She's the one who hit me"

"What the hell for?"

" I don't know - I went to the bar she asked me what I wanted and I said "Can I just get my holdall?"


Do you have to be Scottish to get this cos I don't get it.

(in reply to Scruffybobby)
Post #: 38
RE: The Jokes Thread - 29/11/2007 4:44:15 PM   
Chief


Posts: 7778
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee
quote:

ORIGINAL: HIM

quote:

ORIGINAL: Scruffybobby

Mike goes to to pick up a friend who's been to Glasgow for the first time on a business trip. When his mate steps off the train he's got a huge bruise on his face and his mouth is all swollen and cut "What the hell happend to you?" he asks his mate "Some barmaid just  punched me for no reason"  his mate replies.  " I just don't understand it" "Right," Mike says "Tell me everything that happened" So his mate tells him the story

"I got to Glasgow, went for the meeting, which went great, then when it was over I had a couple of hour before I had to get the train. So I nipped into a pub to get something to eat. I ordered my meal and asked the barman to watch my bag while I wnet out for a smoke. He said "tell you what, I'll put it behind the bar for you and you can get it when you leave" so I hand it over. The when I'm ready to leave he's gone and there's this girl behind the bar. She's the one who hit me"

"What the hell for?"

" I don't know - I went to the bar she asked me what I wanted and I said "Can I just get my holdall?"


Do you have to be Scottish to get this cos I don't get it.



Maybe. The interpretation would be:

Can I get my holdall? = Can I get my hole doll? = Can I make love to you?

Hilarious.

(in reply to HIM)
Post #: 39
RE: The Jokes Thread - 29/11/2007 6:53:43 PM   
tommyjarvis


Posts: 6632
Joined: 2/11/2005
From: Caught somewhere in time
A Glaswegian is getting married, so he tells his pal about how he plans to wear a kilt at his wedding. His pal replies "What's the tartan?"

"Oh, she'll be in a white dress", replies the Glaswegian.

_____________________________

"I've been too honest with myself, I should have lied like everybody else"

My Top 101 Rock Songs - The first Audiophile list to actually get completed!

(in reply to Chief)
Post #: 40
RE: The Jokes Thread - 30/11/2007 10:46:33 PM   
Biggus


Posts: 7639
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Not Local
What is Snow White's favourite soft drink?

7-Up.

_____________________________

"They offered me a hundred grand. You wanna know something? When I found out I'd get my hands on you, I said I'd do it for nothing."

http://fletchsworldoffilm.wordpress.com/

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)
Post #: 41
RE: The Jokes Thread - 30/11/2007 10:56:07 PM   
24Dan


Posts: 2503
Joined: 3/10/2005
From: Norwich
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mason Verger






FUCK SHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT TIT WANK ARSE



An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the
streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon.

Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window
'Pianist wanted for evening performances'.

'Fucking get in there you cunt!' he says to himself and goes to the bar.
'Get the fucking manager of this pigs shit middle class wankhole please
you cunt', he says to a somewhat startled barman. The barman however
obliges and his manager comes upstairs. 'Can I help you sir?' he says
'Yes you can you fat piece of shit, I saw your poxy advert in the
cunting window and I'm here to audition.....wanker.' The manager is
naturally put off by the man's abrasive manner but his dire need for a
top class pianist forces him to agree to an audition. The first tune he
Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number, not too involving, yet
utterly melodic. At the end the thrilled barman cries, 'Wonderful,
wonderful. What was that called?' 'That song was called "Excuse me prime
minister but I just jizzed in your daughter's eye, and now the cunts
blind...'

'Oh' says the manager 'err, can you play me another. Something a little
less "lively". 'Wanker..' interjects the pianist before launching into a
powerful ballad which leaves the manager in tears. The manager through
his salty teardrops asks him the title.

'That little number was called "Sometimes when you do a bird up the shit
box you get crap on your bell end.' I see' says the manager, 'Have you
got any songs with less offensive titles?' 'Well there's my jazz number
"Do you want me to split your ringpiece", or there's the epic "I don't
care if you're older my dear, you've still got nice jugs". 'Look' says
the manager interrupting, I think you're a superb pianist but the title
of your songs are a little "racy". I will hire you on the condition that
you do not introduce your songs or speak to the audience.' 'Fuck it'
says the pianist 'Why not'. On his first night everything is going
superbly the crowd are lapping up his repertoire and his silence is
being received as modesty.

The only thing putting off the pianist is that in the front row there is
a gorgeous blonde in a black evening dress with a split up the side
revealing the tops of her stockings, and a plunging neckline which
boasts a proud and inviting cleavage.

During the interval the pianist has got such a stonking hard on that he
decides to go to the bog and knock one out. Just as he has shot his muck
he hears himself being re-introduced over the tannoy, so he rushes back
to the stage and finishes his act. After the show he is at the bar
relaxing when the blonde approaches him.'Hi' she says. 'Hello' he
winces, struggling to hold in the expletives. She leans over and
whispers in his ear, 'Do you know your cock is hanging out of your
trousers, and spunk is dribbling onto your shoes?' 'Know it?' says the
pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently,

I fucking wrote it!!!'


That was good.


_____________________________

Professional Analrapist

(in reply to Mason Verger)
Post #: 42
RE: The Jokes Thread - 1/12/2007 4:19:22 PM   
bobatim


Posts: 5609
Joined: 8/4/2006
From: The Killbot Factory!
A man visits the doctor with chronic constipation. "I'm in a lot of pain doc" says the man "I've been backed up for weeks and it's killing me, you gotta do something"

"I have just the thing for you" Says the Doctor, then he produces a small red tablet, " This tablet is the lastest in laxitive technology, it's so powerful that you'll be able to go within 10 seconds. I'd like you to take it now but i'm afraid our toilet is out of order and the nearest toilet is the superloo which is out of the door, through reception, down the stairs, through the lobby, out of the main doors and down on the other side of the street. I suggest that we do a couple of practice runs to make sure you can make it in time."

"Fair enough" says the man "i'll go now and you can time me"

With that the man jumps out of his seat, runs out of the door, through the reception, down the stairs, through the lobby, out of the main doors and down to the other side of the street.

When he returns to the doctors office, the man is panting for breath and dripping with sweat "How did I do?" he asks the doctor.

"Not too bad" replies the doctor "10.09 seconds, but I think we need to be a bit quicker, so let try one more time"

With that the man jumps out of his seat, runs out of the door, through the reception, down the stairs, through the lobby, out of the main doors and down to the other side of the street.

When he returns to the doctors office once again, the man is panting for breath and dripping with sweat "How did I do this time?" he asks the doctor.

"Much better" says the doctor "9 seconds flat on that run, I think your ready for the pill now"

The Doctor hands the man the superpowerful laxitive and he swallows it straight away. He then jumps out of his seat, runs out of the door, through the reception, down the stairs, through the lobby, out of the main doors and down to the other side of the street.

This time when he returns he is once again panting for breath, but this time he is also covered head to toe in his own feaces.

"What happened?!" exclaims the doctor "you did all the practice runs and got your time down to under 10 seconds, why are you now standing in my office covered head to toe in your own feaces?"

"Well" Says the man in between breaths "I hadn't got a pound for the superloo"


I thank you



_____________________________

Is he died?


www.penultimateuniverse.blogspot.com




(in reply to 24Dan)
Post #: 43
RE: The Jokes Thread - 1/12/2007 9:59:47 PM   
pixiedevil_pop


Posts: 502
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Amity Island
Why is Tigger always dirty?


Coz he plays with pooh.....

Well, the kids at school think I'm cool


_____________________________

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

(in reply to bobatim)
Post #: 44
RE: The Jokes Thread - 2/12/2007 2:37:42 AM   
markdavies


Posts: 395
Joined: 15/8/2006
From: Middlesbrough
An old aussie is dying, and as he lay in his deathbed he begins to smell his favourite Anzac biscuits.  "Strewth, the missus is making me favrit," he (ahem) says.  "O`im ginner crawl dahn those stairs and have wun"  Using all of his strength, he drags himself off his bed, down the stairs, and into the kitchen, where he see`s the pile of Anzacs.  Using his last breath he reaches up and grabs one.  His wife hits him on the hand and says (Altogether now) "F**k off, they`re for the funeral".

_____________________________

He made me look ridiculous,
And a man in my position cannot afford to be made to look ridiculous

(in reply to pixiedevil_pop)
Post #: 45
RE: The Jokes Thread - 2/12/2007 8:38:11 AM   
pixiedevil_pop


Posts: 502
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Amity Island


_____________________________

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

(in reply to markdavies)
Post #: 46
RE: The Jokes Thread - 3/12/2007 4:52:03 PM   
Diggler


Posts: 1257
Joined: 30/9/2005
40 Gypsies arrived at Heaven's gates, St Peter said we've only got room for 12 so decide amongst yourselves who's coming in. 5 minutes later St Peter says to God, "They've gone". God says "What, all 40?" St Peter says "No, the fucking gates".

_____________________________

"Hey Ron, I'm riding a furry tractor"

(in reply to pixiedevil_pop)
Post #: 47
RE: The Jokes Thread - 3/12/2007 9:26:42 PM   
pixiedevil_pop


Posts: 502
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Amity Island
How do you get pikachu onto a bus?


You poke im on ......

I know, I should be on stage


_____________________________

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

(in reply to Diggler)
Post #: 48
RE: The Jokes Thread - 4/12/2007 8:26:25 PM   
bobatim


Posts: 5609
Joined: 8/4/2006
From: The Killbot Factory!
Santas Dead!!!!

Witnesses say that he was eating christmas decorations when he died

The Autopsy confirms it was a bad case of Tinselitis!



_____________________________

Is he died?


www.penultimateuniverse.blogspot.com




(in reply to pixiedevil_pop)
Post #: 49
RE: The Jokes Thread - 5/12/2007 10:17:32 AM   
Deviation


Posts: 27284
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Enemies of Film HQ
Three woman are in an elevator. A brown haired one, a redhead and a blonde.

The browned woman suddenly pionts at at stain on one of the walls and screams " There's a stain of sperm in the elevator!!!!!!!!!"

The redhead goes and smells the stain and comfirms, "It certainly is sperm."

The blonde one licks the stain and says "It's not from this biulding".

Sorry for my grammar.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dpp1978
There are certainly times where calling a person a cunt is not only reasonable, it is a gross understatement.

quote:


ORIGINAL: elab49
I really wish I could go down to see Privates

(in reply to bobatim)
Post #: 50
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 11:38:54 AM   
mayo12


Posts: 724
Joined: 7/7/2007
From: LV426
A son asks his dad to explain to him the difference between "realistically" and "theoretically". After thinking about how to go about it for a few minutes his dad tells the boy to go ask his mum if she would sleep with the milkman for a million quid.
Mum says yes.
Then the dad tells him to go and ask his sister if she'd sleep with the lady next door's husband for 2 million quid.
She says yes.
So the dad says to the boy 'there you go'.
'Eh?i dont get it.' says the boy.
So the dad explains 'well its like this son, theortically we'r sitting on 3 million quid, but realistically we'r living with a couple of slags!'

_____________________________

If there was a day I could live. A single breath I could take. I'd trade all the others away...

"Fucking Chuck Norris."

(in reply to Deviation)
Post #: 51
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 1:25:49 PM   
Funkyrae


Posts: 20406
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Just stick a pin in a map
No need to look anymore.  I've found Nemo.




_____________________________

That's me that is!


(in reply to mayo12)
Post #: 52
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 1:30:46 PM   
bobatim


Posts: 5609
Joined: 8/4/2006
From: The Killbot Factory!
Thats sick Funky, yet strangely appetising

_____________________________

Is he died?


www.penultimateuniverse.blogspot.com




(in reply to Funkyrae)
Post #: 53
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 1:38:09 PM   
mattchoman


Posts: 516
Joined: 15/5/2007
From: Omicron Persei 8
A man walked into a pub and asked for a double-entendre, so the barmaid gave him one.

_____________________________

"I have no strong feelings one way or the other."

(in reply to bobatim)
Post #: 54
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 1:55:08 PM   
thatlittlemonkey


Posts: 8123
Joined: 24/10/2005
Three big dogs are sat in a vets reception, one rottwieler, one doberman and one alsatian.  After a while, the doberman turns to the rottwieler and asks "What are you here for?"
"Well," the rottwieler begins, "I was at home last week when some bloke broke in and began threatening my master and his missus.  Well, I did what any self-respecting dog would do and I went for him.  In the struggle, I may have kind of bitten his throat too hard and killed him.  Judge says I'm too dangerous to live, so I'm here to be put down."
"Gutted, mate." Says the doberman, "I know how you feel.  I was out for walkies the other day and some kid was drowning in the pond.  I jumped in to get him out, but in trying to pull him to the bank, I sank my teeth in a bit hard to his arm.  Well, the kids had to have it cut off now and I'm also her to be put down."
"That's nothing," the alsatian cut in, "I was at home yesterday and while my master was out, his wife decided to have a bath.  Anyway, I happened to be walking past just as she bend over, stark naked, to check the water.  Well, I dunno what came over me, but the next thing I know, I've mounted her and...well, I...y'know, start doing her 'us-style'."
The doberman and the rottwieler gaped at him.  "You're getting put down for that?" They asked in unison.
"Who said anything about being put down?" The alsatian sniffed.  "I'm here to have my nails clipped."

_____________________________

I'm going to need a SWAT Team ready to mobilise, street-level maps covering all of Florida, a pot of coffee, twelve Jammy Dodgers and a fez.


(in reply to bobatim)
Post #: 55
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 2:07:34 PM   
Kilo_T_Mortal


Posts: 13539
Joined: 30/9/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: thatlittlemonkey

Three big dogs are sat in a vets reception, one rottwieler, one doberman and one alsatian.  After a while, the doberman turns to the rottwieler and asks "What are you here for?"
"Well," the rottwieler begins, "I was at home last week when some bloke broke in and began threatening my master and his missus.  Well, I did what any self-respecting dog would do and I went for him.  In the struggle, I may have kind of bitten his throat too hard and killed him.  Judge says I'm too dangerous to live, so I'm here to be put down."
"Gutted, mate." Says the doberman, "I know how you feel.  I was out for walkies the other day and some kid was drowning in the pond.  I jumped in to get him out, but in trying to pull him to the bank, I sank my teeth in a bit hard to his arm.  Well, the kids had to have it cut off now and I'm also her to be put down."
"That's nothing," the alsatian cut in, "I was at home yesterday and while my master was out, his wife decided to have a bath.  Anyway, I happened to be walking past just as she bend over, stark naked, to check the water.  Well, I dunno what came over me, but the next thing I know, I've mounted her and...well, I...y'know, start doing her 'us-style'."
The doberman and the rottwieler gaped at him.  "You're getting put down for that?" They asked in unison.
"Who said anything about being put down?" The alsatian sniffed.  "I'm here to have my nails clipped."


that's disgusting

_____________________________

he's ruining my buestiful threat!

"She must have known about all this before she let that grinning loon put his space-cock anywhere near her?"
horribleives

(in reply to thatlittlemonkey)
Post #: 56
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 2:08:03 PM   
Kilo_T_Mortal


Posts: 13539
Joined: 30/9/2005
Why are Pirates called Pirates?



They just arrrrrrr!

_____________________________

he's ruining my buestiful threat!

"She must have known about all this before she let that grinning loon put his space-cock anywhere near her?"
horribleives

(in reply to Kilo_T_Mortal)
Post #: 57
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 2:08:50 PM   
Kilo_T_Mortal


Posts: 13539
Joined: 30/9/2005
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sledge Hammer

What do Mexicans put under their carpets?

Underlay, Underlay....


I'm here all week.................


Why did the Mexican push his wife over the cliff?

Tequila

_____________________________

he's ruining my buestiful threat!

"She must have known about all this before she let that grinning loon put his space-cock anywhere near her?"
horribleives

(in reply to Sledge Hammer)
Post #: 58
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 2:09:59 PM   
Kilo_T_Mortal


Posts: 13539
Joined: 30/9/2005
How come the panther got lost?

Because Jungle is massive.

_____________________________

he's ruining my buestiful threat!

"She must have known about all this before she let that grinning loon put his space-cock anywhere near her?"
horribleives

(in reply to Kilo_T_Mortal)
Post #: 59
RE: The Jokes Thread - 7/12/2007 3:01:07 PM   
Sumintelligentguy


Posts: 3743
Joined: 31/8/2006
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kilo_T_Mortal

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sledge Hammer

What do Mexicans put under their carpets?

Underlay, Underlay....


I'm here all week.................


Why did the Mexican push his wife over the cliff?

Tequila


how do mexicans keep warm?

the use chicken fajitas

a thank you

and finally...

they're thinking of puting origami into the beijing olympics

but you can only see it on pa-per view.


_____________________________

"Snake? Snaaaake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!?"

R.I.P. Punchy

(in reply to Kilo_T_Mortal)
Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [On Another Note...] >> Off Topic >> Mammoth Threads >> RE: The Jokes Thread Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts


Movie News††|††Empire Blog††|††Movie Reviews††|††Future Films††|††Features††|††Video Interviews††|††Image Gallery††|††Competitions††|††Forum††|††Magazine††|††Resources
Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.4.5 ANSI

0.266