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RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 2:56:24 PM

horribleives

Posts: 4245
Joined: 12/6/2009
From: The North

Am I right you live in (or near to) Newcastle, Matty? 'Cos if you're just looking for 'fun', I'd suggest bypassing the whole dating-site-thing, putting on a splash of Brut and getting amongst it on a saturday night.

_____________________________

www.hollywoodunbound.co.uk - some nonsense about alien film directors and musclebound man-children.

(in reply to gazpop)

Post #: 25531

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 2:56:26 PM

shool

Posts: 9640
Joined: 24/3/2006
From: In The Pipe, Five by Five.

i also think you should ask her for that essay on how beautiful she is. Then post here.

_____________________________

Invisio Text for Spoilers
[ color=#F1F1F1 ] Spoiler text [ /color ] , remove spaces between square brackets

"No one knows what it means, but it's provocative... It gets the people going!"

(in reply to shool)

Post #: 25532

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:03:06 PM

UTB

Posts: 9044
Joined: 30/9/2005

Urgh.

There's two offices on my floor, one full of men (which I'm in) and the other full of women. The women are required to walk through our entire office to pick up stuff they print out and there's a couple of utter leches who giggle to each other each time a woman walks through. Its utterly pathetic. And they wonder why they're single.

Not that I don't like females or anything. I just don't feel the need to start touching myself each time one walks past.

(in reply to shool)

Post #: 25533

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:07:56 PM

horribleives

Posts: 4245
Joined: 12/6/2009
From: The North

quote:

ORIGINAL: UTB

Urgh.

There's two offices on my floor, one full of men (which I'm in) and the other full of women. The women are required to walk through our entire office to pick up stuff they print out and there's a couple of utter leches who giggle to each other each time a woman walks through. Its utterly pathetic. And they wonder why they're single.

Not that I don't like females or anything. I just don't feel the need to start touching myself each time one walks past.

This sounds great to me - modern workplaces could do with a few more Mad Men-isms to break the day up.

_____________________________

www.hollywoodunbound.co.uk - some nonsense about alien film directors and musclebound man-children.

(in reply to UTB)

Post #: 25534

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:17:43 PM

matty_b

Posts: 13121
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sway

I love the mileage this forum is getting out of Matty's online dating.

More mileage than I'm getting out of online dating.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

Pretty much.

Example - "I guess I don't believe in true love anymore....This website - it's probably last place where I could find it anyway. I dont believe in online dating - I know 90 % of you lie about their age, height or even uploading photos of someone else and pretend it's them ( how sad ), and all of you guys claiming to be fun, loving and caring individuals ( how nice ). I'm not bitter I'm realistic.
But since everyone and everything around me is trying to prove me wrong I thought I'd give it a try... I mean what I've got to loose??? I will probably prove myself right!!! Don't wanna lower my shirt, self-esteem or self-respect to get a guy!!! The truth is I'm single and you'd have to be freaking amazing to change it!!!
I could write an essay on how beautiful and gorgeous I am but it's not the point. The point is that I'm a normal, smiley, honest and friendly girl and all I want is for someone to put a smile back into my face...
I want romance...I want you to surprise me every day with small things...I want to have breakfast with you every morning...I want you to hug me every night before we fall asleep. I want simple things. Sounds boring to you? Don't bother to reply!!!"

Yeah, you sound a right catch, love.

This girl clearly needs to lower her expectations.

No, wait, looks like I could be in after all!

But that means you're... "freaking amazing!!!"

Yeah, that's going to my profile headline from now on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

i also think you should ask her for that essay on how beautiful she is. Then post here.

I have a feeling she would turn up on my doorstep with it. Written in blood.

quote:

ORIGINAL: horribleives

Am I right you live in (or near to) Newcastle, Matty? 'Cos if you're just looking for 'fun', I'd suggest bypassing the whole dating-site-thing, putting on a splash of Brut and getting amongst it on a saturday night.

I do indeed. And doing that is a fairly terrifying thought, when I could just hide behind a computer screen.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UTB

Urgh.

There's two offices on my floor, one full of men (which I'm in) and the other full of women.

PHWOAR!

quote:

ORIGINAL: UTB

there's a couple of utter leches who giggle to each other each time a woman walks through. Its utterly pathetic. And they wonder why they're single.

That hurts, man.

quote:

I just don't feel the need to start touching myself each time one walks past.

That's frowned upon? I'd better take that video off my profile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: gazpop

re Matty, good luck with it. love IS out there (as is guilt-free no-strings donkey-ketchup sex)

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.

(in reply to shool)

Post #: 25535

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:21:49 PM

homersimpson_esq

Posts: 19969
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

Pretty much.

Example - "I guess I don't believe in true love anymore....This website - it's probably last place where I could find it anyway. I dont believe in online dating - I know 90 % of you lie about their age, height or even uploading photos of someone else and pretend it's them ( how sad ), and all of you guys claiming to be fun, loving and caring individuals ( how nice ). I'm not bitter I'm realistic.
But since everyone and everything around me is trying to prove me wrong I thought I'd give it a try... I mean what I've got to loose??? I will probably prove myself right!!! Don't wanna lower my shirt, self-esteem or self-respect to get a guy!!! The truth is I'm single and you'd have to be freaking amazing to change it!!!
I could write an essay on how beautiful and gorgeous I am but it's not the point. The point is that I'm a normal, smiley, honest and friendly girl and all I want is for someone to put a smile back into my face...
I want romance...I want you to surprise me every day with small things...I want to have breakfast with you every morning...I want you to hug me every night before we fall asleep. I want simple things. Sounds boring to you? Don't bother to reply!!!"

Yeah, you sound a right catch, love.

This girl clearly needs to lower her expectations.

Matty, that's your cue.

_____________________________

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.

TREK WARS

(in reply to shool)

Post #: 25536

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:29:26 PM

Chief

Posts: 7138
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sway

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

Pretty much.

Example - "I guess I don't believe in true love anymore....This website - it's probably last place where I could find it anyway. I dont believe in online dating - I know 90 % of you lie about their age, height or even uploading photos of someone else and pretend it's them ( how sad ), and all of you guys claiming to be fun, loving and caring individuals ( how nice ). I'm not bitter I'm realistic.
But since everyone and everything around me is trying to prove me wrong I thought I'd give it a try... I mean what I've got to loose??? I will probably prove myself right!!! Don't wanna lower my shirt, self-esteem or self-respect to get a guy!!! The truth is I'm single and you'd have to be freaking amazing to change it!!!
I could write an essay on how beautiful and gorgeous I am but it's not the point. The point is that I'm a normal, smiley, honest and friendly girl and all I want is for someone to put a smile back into my face...
I want romance...I want you to surprise me every day with small things...I want to have breakfast with you every morning...I want you to hug me every night before we fall asleep. I want simple things. Sounds boring to you? Don't bother to reply!!!"

Yeah, you sound a right catch, love.

"Multiple exclamation marks... are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

I bet she drinks fruit teas as well. Those people are deeply fucked up.

(in reply to Sway)

Post #: 25537

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:31:31 PM

Hobbitonlass

Posts: 11619
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Westeros

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chief

I bet she drinks fruit teas as well. Those people are deeply fucked up.

It's not tea if it smells and tastes of fruit! I call it hot fruit water..... (but yeah, they are fucked up).

_____________________________

Come join in the Photo competition http://www.empireonline.com/forum/tm.asp?m=3116407&mpage=1&key=

(in reply to Chief)

Post #: 25538

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:31:48 PM

OPEN YOUR EYES

Posts: 3578
Joined: 5/2/2012
From: RANCHO de la LUNA

whats the point in buying films when people just download them from Youtube.

Amazing Spiderman 2012: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BilVnAYrj6c

< Message edited by OPEN YOUR EYES -- 14/11/2012 3:38:55 PM >

_____________________________

Lost in the desert

(in reply to Chief)

Post #: 25539

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:36:07 PM

matty_b

Posts: 13121
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

Pretty much.

Example - "I guess I don't believe in true love anymore....This website - it's probably last place where I could find it anyway. I dont believe in online dating - I know 90 % of you lie about their age, height or even uploading photos of someone else and pretend it's them ( how sad ), and all of you guys claiming to be fun, loving and caring individuals ( how nice ). I'm not bitter I'm realistic.
But since everyone and everything around me is trying to prove me wrong I thought I'd give it a try... I mean what I've got to loose??? I will probably prove myself right!!! Don't wanna lower my shirt, self-esteem or self-respect to get a guy!!! The truth is I'm single and you'd have to be freaking amazing to change it!!!
I could write an essay on how beautiful and gorgeous I am but it's not the point. The point is that I'm a normal, smiley, honest and friendly girl and all I want is for someone to put a smile back into my face...
I want romance...I want you to surprise me every day with small things...I want to have breakfast with you every morning...I want you to hug me every night before we fall asleep. I want simple things. Sounds boring to you? Don't bother to reply!!!"

Yeah, you sound a right catch, love.

This girl clearly needs to lower her expectations.

Matty, that's your cue.

ALREADY MADE THAT JOKE, HOMER.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)

Post #: 25540

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:41:43 PM

Harry Tuttle

Posts: 7612
Joined: 12/11/2005
From: Sometime in the future.

Fair play to you Matt, hope it all goes well.

I could take the piss and all that but I know for a fact that it'd be straight to the dating websites* for me if I split up with the missus. It was touch and go between us earlier on in the year and the thing that bothered me most (apart from losing constant access to my kids and the roof over my head of course) was the thought of having to hit the dating scene again. A truly terrifying thought

.

* After I'd exhausted all the no strings attached sex websites, and your mum.

_____________________________

Acting...Naturaaal

Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!

Blood Island. So called because it's the exact shape of some blood

(in reply to matty_b)

Post #: 25541

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 3:43:35 PM

talpacino

Posts: 3643
Joined: 15/11/2005
From: The Royal County

Yeah fair play. I'm recently single after a long, long relationship and I am shitting myself at the thought of getting back out there.

Your mum etc.

_____________________________

Currahee!

It's a different film. It's a very different film! It's a different shark!

Suppose I shot ya..How'd that be?

(in reply to Harry Tuttle)

Post #: 25542

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:01:33 PM

Chief

Posts: 7138
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee

quote:

ORIGINAL: talpacino

Yeah fair play. I'm recently single after a long, long relationship and I am shitting myself at the thought of getting back out there.

Your mum etc.

You should totally date Matty.

(in reply to talpacino)

Post #: 25543

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:03:32 PM

Hobbitonlass

Posts: 11619
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Westeros

quote:

ORIGINAL: Harry Tuttle
the thought of having to hit the dating scene again. A truly terrifying thought .

Think that's why I'm single!

_____________________________

Come join in the Photo competition http://www.empireonline.com/forum/tm.asp?m=3116407&mpage=1&key=

(in reply to Harry Tuttle)

Post #: 25544

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:04:11 PM

homersimpson_esq

Posts: 19969
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq

quote:

ORIGINAL: shool

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

Pretty much.

Example - "I guess I don't believe in true love anymore....This website - it's probably last place where I could find it anyway. I dont believe in online dating - I know 90 % of you lie about their age, height or even uploading photos of someone else and pretend it's them ( how sad ), and all of you guys claiming to be fun, loving and caring individuals ( how nice ). I'm not bitter I'm realistic.
But since everyone and everything around me is trying to prove me wrong I thought I'd give it a try... I mean what I've got to loose??? I will probably prove myself right!!! Don't wanna lower my shirt, self-esteem or self-respect to get a guy!!! The truth is I'm single and you'd have to be freaking amazing to change it!!!
I could write an essay on how beautiful and gorgeous I am but it's not the point. The point is that I'm a normal, smiley, honest and friendly girl and all I want is for someone to put a smile back into my face...
I want romance...I want you to surprise me every day with small things...I want to have breakfast with you every morning...I want you to hug me every night before we fall asleep. I want simple things. Sounds boring to you? Don't bother to reply!!!"

Yeah, you sound a right catch, love.

This girl clearly needs to lower her expectations.

Matty, that's your cue.

ALREADY MADE THAT JOKE, HOMER.

What joke?

_____________________________

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.

TREK WARS

(in reply to matty_b)

Post #: 25545

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:04:54 PM

matty_b

Posts: 13121
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

That if she lowers her expectations, I'm therefore in. Because I'm rubbish. Do keep up, Homer.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)

Post #: 25546

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:07:02 PM

matty_b

Posts: 13121
Joined: 19/10/2005
From: Outpost 31 calling McMurtle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chief

quote:

ORIGINAL: talpacino

Yeah fair play. I'm recently single after a long, long relationship and I am shitting myself at the thought of getting back out there.

Your mum etc.

You should totally date Matty.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Harry Tuttle

Fair play to you Matt, hope it all goes well.

I could take the piss and all that but I know for a fact that it'd be straight to the dating websites* for me if I split up with the missus. It was touch and go between us earlier on in the year and the thing that bothered me most (apart from losing constant access to my kids and the roof over my head of course) was the thought of having to hit the dating scene again. A truly terrifying thought .

* After I'd exhausted all the no strings attached sex websites, and your mum.

cheers, pal. And I'm pretty much terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cool Breeze
Mattyb is a shining example of what the perfect Empire Forum member is.

(in reply to Chief)

Post #: 25547

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:08:45 PM

rawlinson

Posts: 40612
Joined: 13/6/2008
From: Timbuktu. Chinese or Fictional.

Why don't you organise an Empire dating club? Hook up the singles on here. I predict that this will not only work in pairing you off, but that there will be no negative consequences for the harmony of the forum.

lol

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

I would plough my way through MonsterCat

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

I desire MonsterCat to go down on me.

(in reply to matty_b)

Post #: 25548

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:11:03 PM

horribleives

Posts: 4245
Joined: 12/6/2009
From: The North

I'm still not convinced by all this 'dating' scene' gubbins. Sounds a bit Bridget Jones to me.
The best thing you can do when you're single is go out and have casual sex with as many willing partners as possible, and you'll bump into The One soon enough.
Worked for me anyway, with no negative effects, other than the fact that I'm now dying of AIDS.

_____________________________

www.hollywoodunbound.co.uk - some nonsense about alien film directors and musclebound man-children.

(in reply to homersimpson_esq)

Post #: 25549

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:12:59 PM

horribleives

Posts: 4245
Joined: 12/6/2009
From: The North

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson

Why don't you organise an Empire dating club? Hook up the singles on here. I predict that this will not only work in pairing you off, but that there will be no negative consequences for the harmony of the forum.

If anyone can find a compatible soulmate for vad3r I'll fuck and marry them myself.

_____________________________

www.hollywoodunbound.co.uk - some nonsense about alien film directors and musclebound man-children.

(in reply to rawlinson)

Post #: 25550

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:13:27 PM

Harry Tuttle

Posts: 7612
Joined: 12/11/2005
From: Sometime in the future.

quote:

ORIGINAL: horribleives

I'm still not convinced by all this 'dating' scene' gubbins. Sounds a bit Bridget Jones to me.
The best thing you can do when you're single is go out and have casual sex with as many willing partners as possible, and you'll bump into The One soon enough.
Worked for me anyway, with no negative effects, other than the fact that I'm now dying of AIDS.

African prostitute or Liam Neeson?

< Message edited by Harry Tuttle -- 14/11/2012 4:15:27 PM >

_____________________________

Acting...Naturaaal

Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!

Blood Island. So called because it's the exact shape of some blood

(in reply to horribleives)

Post #: 25551

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:15:27 PM

Hobbitonlass

Posts: 11619
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Westeros

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawlinson

Why don't you organise an Empire dating club? Hook up the singles on here. I predict that this will not only work in pairing you off, but that there will be no negative consequences for the harmony of the forum.

lol

Yeah, because anyone pisses me off I'll just ban them

_____________________________

Come join in the Photo competition http://www.empireonline.com/forum/tm.asp?m=3116407&mpage=1&key=

(in reply to rawlinson)

Post #: 25552

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:16:51 PM

horribleives

Posts: 4245
Joined: 12/6/2009
From: The North

quote:

ORIGINAL: Harry Tuttle

quote:

ORIGINAL: horribleives

I'm still not convinced by all this 'dating' scene' gubbins. Sounds a bit Bridget Jones to me.
The best thing you can do when you're single is go out and have casual sex with as many willing partners as possible, and you'll bump into The One soon enough.
Worked for me anyway, with no negative effects, other than the fact that I'm now dying of AIDS.

African prostitute or Liam Neeson?

Don't presume, that's a backstory we didn't agree on.

_____________________________

www.hollywoodunbound.co.uk - some nonsense about alien film directors and musclebound man-children.

(in reply to Harry Tuttle)

Post #: 25553

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:18:50 PM

Rgirvan44

Posts: 18934
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Punishment Park

Good luck Matty - I was on eharmony. Met my previous girlfriend through it, as well as my current one. It can work - the key is to show your personality. For instance - don't just say you are funny....actually be funny on your profile.

_____________________________

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

(in reply to horribleives)

Post #: 25554

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:22:40 PM

homersimpson_esq

Posts: 19969
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Springfield

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

That if she lowers her expectations, I'm therefore in. Because I'm rubbish. Do keep up, Homer.

It was more the claim that that was a joke that I was querying...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

Good luck Matty - I was on eharmony. Met my previous girlfriend through it, as well as my current one. It can work - the key is to show your personality. For instance - don't just say you are funny....actually be funny on your profile.

Yes, but to do that you need to be funny...

_____________________________

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.

TREK WARS

(in reply to Rgirvan44)

Post #: 25555

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:35:21 PM

jcthefirst

Posts: 4112
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: Bangor

quote:

ORIGINAL: Harry Tuttle

* After I'd exhausted all the no strings attached sex websites, and your mum.

There's always strings.

I mean, never mind.

_____________________________

@Jonny_C85

My Movie Blog | My Other Various Rantings Blog

(in reply to Harry Tuttle)

Post #: 25556

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:36:38 PM

jcthefirst

Posts: 4112
Joined: 6/10/2005
From: Bangor

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44

For instance - don't just say you are funny....actually be funny on your profile.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the crazy bitches on here.

_____________________________

@Jonny_C85

My Movie Blog | My Other Various Rantings Blog

(in reply to Rgirvan44)

Post #: 25557

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:36:48 PM

Sway

Posts: 8913
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Albuquerque

quote:

ORIGINAL: matty_b

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chief

quote:

ORIGINAL: talpacino

Yeah fair play. I'm recently single after a long, long relationship and I am shitting myself at the thought of getting back out there.

Your mum etc.

You should totally date Matty.

I think Chief should be the one to set up the Empire dating club. That's some honed skillz right there.

_____________________________

"I am not in danger, Skyler. I AM the danger! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!"

(in reply to matty_b)

Post #: 25558

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:39:49 PM

Chief

Posts: 7138
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rgirvan44
For instance - don't just say you are funny....actually be funny on your profile.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because I've got a massive todger and care about feelings and shit.

And put a smiley face, bitches love smiley faces.

< Message edited by Chief -- 14/11/2012 4:40:12 PM >

(in reply to Rgirvan44)

Post #: 25559

RE: What are you thinking......... - 14/11/2012 4:42:15 PM

Chief

Posts: 7138
Joined: 30/9/2005
From: Banshee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sway

I think Chief should be the one to set up the Empire dating club. That's some honed skillz right there.

I'd be up for that. I can act as mediator/chaperone too.

So I'll need a list of who is single then any messages that you want to send can be sent to me first so I can vet them and make adjustments where necessary then forward them onto the person I think will best suit you.

Flawless.

Let the lovin' commence.

(in reply to Sway)

Post #: 25560