ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (Full Version)

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sophiasarah19 -> ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 8:06:24 AM)

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE.
It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!





UTB -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 8:16:38 AM)

11. Masturbate more.




steffols -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 9:34:14 AM)

I dunno bout you Soph but energy vampires sound like fun.




sharkboy -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 10:27:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steffols

I dunno bout you Soph but energy vampires sound like fun.


For some reason I've got an image of an evil duracell bunny in my head...[:D]




superdan -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 10:49:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiasarah19

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE.
It is the ultimate antidepressant. Bear in mind people will think you're crazy and cross the road when they see you approaching.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Preferably while taking a dump.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today. When he doesn't answer, don't take it personally. He's like that with everyone.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. Space cakes FTW.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds. Be prepared for noxious farts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day. But again, people might think you're a weirdo.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. Even if you've just been told you have a dose of the clap.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. This might make dating tricky.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. Good-to-middling. Middling-to-poor. For some lucky souls, it's absolutely fucking fantastic. These people are arseholes.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything! Except Jimmy Savile. Unstoppable super-paedos are beyond forgiveness..






donethinking -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 3:05:02 PM)

[:D]




steflon -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 3:45:48 PM)




1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE.
It is the ultimate antidepressant.

My feet hurt


2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

i do, its called reading, much more fun


3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

erm...no


4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

and use up the worlds resources?


5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

bluegh and boring and yeah ok but then bluegh and bluegh


6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

if you met the people i see everyday you wouldnt care about them smiling


7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

gossip is all there is to do at work, what?, without thinking about past mistakes your likely to make them again in the future, negativity is fine, it makes the positives seem better, without thinkin about things you cant control theres no hope of overcoming obstacles


8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

coco pops, sandwich, whatevers in the fridge, that sound ok?


9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

life isnt anything, it cant be classified as fair or unfair, and the majority of lives are good, go say that to an abused child!


10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

forgiving them shows a hostility towards them in the first place, forgivness shows pity and pitying them is just as bad as hating.



1. wake up

2.be cynical

3. have a laugh

4. go about your day






Shifty Bench -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 11:32:34 PM)

1. Get up
2. Don't die
3. Go to bed.

Although you are ultimately going to fail at that one day........

(also, was the OP a Spam post? It was edited by a Mod)




MonsterCat -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 11:38:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: superdan

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything! Except Jimmy Savile. Unstoppable super-paedos are beyond forgiveness..



[sm=happy07.gif]




MonsterCat -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (16/10/2012 11:42:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiasarah19

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.



This isn't a tip. It's more like a motto or something.




UTB -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 10:33:03 AM)

12. Consider LED before 1080p.




shool -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 10:38:38 AM)

13. Buy a Baguette. Smash the System.




Hood_Man -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 10:43:21 AM)

14. If people are swearing and making Mum jokes, just let it be...




Chief -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 10:56:48 AM)

15. JET IS SEX




matty_b -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 11:05:03 AM)

16. Smash Paul into a bloody, heaving pulp.




OPEN YOUR EYES -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 11:26:49 AM)

What's a energy vampire?




shool -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 11:29:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OPEN YOUR EYES

What's a energy vampire?


Have you ever seen lifeforce?




OPEN YOUR EYES -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 11:30:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: shool


quote:

ORIGINAL: OPEN YOUR EYES

What's a energy vampire?


Have you ever seen lifeforce?

...no...[sm=huh.gif]




sharkboy -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 11:34:09 AM)

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

Isn't that prozac?  Just wait til I see my GP again!! [:@]

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

Or as I call it, phone your mum.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

You could always combine this with No. 2 by spending 10 minutes waiting for your invisible friend to answer before realising it ain't gonna happen and taking control of your own life.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

AKA veganism?  Fuck that shit - I didn't evolve to the top of the food chain to eat quiche.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

1&2 make me piss like a racehorse.  3&4 make me fart.  5 makes me sick.  Do you really think this leads to a better life?

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

Warning - tickling strangers can get you in trouble.  Who knew?   Last time I try that!

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.  Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

If your energy is so precious, why waste over an hour a week doing nothing as recommended at 2 above?

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

Is this king OK?
[image]http://415vince.com/onetimer/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/newburgerkinglogo_thumb.jpg[/image]

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

Tell that to Sisyphus!  "Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux" my arse!

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

But you were an attempted spammer.  Spammers deserve no forgiveness, only death.




Deviation -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (17/10/2012 8:40:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sharkboy
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

But you were an attempted spammer.  Spammers deserve no forgiveness, only death.



But sharkboy, I spam for the community.




homersimpson_esq -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (19/10/2012 12:19:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

Mahn uLMITON TAHps fo wo a baha lahf an'da, ok?

1. Oh, teka tanna far'iy miniss woks onna aldays anna finks wiley woks yas smarlin, anya?
I'issa ulmiton anni pwesens, ifya seewo'amean.

2. Satin inna sience fo lahk, I no, abow teminnis onna day o summint.

3. Wennawaykn up inna moain pay fo ya aski Gahds Gaahdent, you no, fo ya purpels aday an'da.

4. Et mo fuds offe .tres .pants .an'da, ok, an no quiso mush offa manna fatend pants.

5. Dings grinty an pleny awahtens. Et .boobris .boccis anna .amens an'da..

6. Ty, seiffa meks, I no, aleese, abow fee paypels smarl aldays.

7. Dun wais ya pashons ahngee on .gossy .ahngee vompis .ishons ono pas .nevatine tots .o rilly anani tinya canno contole. Iss jusno wufit mans.
Insed avesta ahngee onna posatine pesant moanens. Meks mo sans, dunniss?

8. .et bahkfens likwo'a ken dons .et lahns likwo'a pins dons .an et dahnaz likwo'a conij kin dons, yano, winna massdout chahnj cahns, onviousley.

9. Lahf, isno far, bu yano, is sil pitie gun, inne? Fink.

10. Lahf, isto shaht ta waisen tarms heyton onnywens. Is'is jas to-o-o fahtin' shaht, mans. Wahno, I no, givvem allafing an'da!
Hahhah!
Na, no seryuns, no allafing! Jus givvem lika paund or summint. Da'be ahrite.


This looks like Maltese.

Dev, what's he saying?




Deviation -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (19/10/2012 4:29:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

Mahn uLMITON TAHps fo wo a baha lahf an'da, ok?

1. Oh, teka tanna far'iy miniss woks onna aldays anna finks wiley woks yas smarlin, anya?
I'issa ulmiton anni pwesens, ifya seewo'amean.

2. Satin inna sience fo lahk, I no, abow teminnis onna day o summint.

3. Wennawaykn up inna moain pay fo ya aski Gahds Gaahdent, you no, fo ya purpels aday an'da.

4. Et mo fuds offe .tres .pants .an'da, ok, an no quiso mush offa manna fatend pants.

5. Dings grinty an pleny awahtens. Et .boobris .boccis anna .amens an'da..

6. Ty, seiffa meks, I no, aleese, abow fee paypels smarl aldays.

7. Dun wais ya pashons ahngee on .gossy .ahngee vompis .ishons ono pas .nevatine tots .o rilly anani tinya canno contole. Iss jusno wufit mans.
Insed avesta ahngee onna posatine pesant moanens. Meks mo sans, dunniss?

8. .et bahkfens likwo'a ken dons .et lahns likwo'a pins dons .an et dahnaz likwo'a conij kin dons, yano, winna massdout chahnj cahns, onviousley.

9. Lahf, isno far, bu yano, is sil pitie gun, inne? Fink.

10. Lahf, isto shaht ta waisen tarms heyton onnywens. Is'is jas to-o-o fahtin' shaht, mans. Wahno, I no, givvem allafing an'da!
Hahhah!
Na, no seryuns, no allafing! Jus givvem lika paund or summint. Da'be ahrite.


This looks like Maltese.

Dev, what's he saying?



Xil-ostja qed tgħid?! Dak ma jixbaħx il-Malti, trid tgħamilli pjaċir u tmur tieħdu f'sormok int bil-liba Ingliż tiegħek arr grr eċċ......




great_badir -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (19/10/2012 12:40:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation
quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq
This looks like Maltese.

Dev, what's he saying?



Xil-ostja qed tgħid?! Dak ma jixbaħx il-Malti, trid tgħamilli pjaċir u tmur tieħdu f'sormok int bil-liba Ingliż tiegħek arr grr eċċ......


Either Dev's not really a Malteser, or else Google Translate is shit...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation via Google Translate
Xil-rice is saying?! What does resembles the English, has tgħamilli have fun and go in semen sormok you with your English grr arr etc.

Why does "il-Malti" translate as "English" ?!


Looked more like Bislama (AKA the original Pidgin English) to me.

Actually, it doesn't.


Another tip for a better life - don't use soap to wash your jumble.




Chief -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (19/10/2012 1:52:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

Mahn uLMITON TAHps fo wo a baha lahf an'da, ok?

1. Oh, teka tanna far'iy miniss woks onna aldays anna finks wiley woks yas smarlin, anya?
I'issa ulmiton anni pwesens, ifya seewo'amean.

2. Satin inna sience fo lahk, I no, abow teminnis onna day o summint.

3. Wennawaykn up inna moain pay fo ya aski Gahds Gaahdent, you no, fo ya purpels aday an'da.

4. Et mo fuds offe .tres .pants .an'da, ok, an no quiso mush offa manna fatend pants.

5. Dings grinty an pleny awahtens. Et .boobris .boccis anna .amens an'da..

6. Ty, seiffa meks, I no, aleese, abow fee paypels smarl aldays.

7. Dun wais ya pashons ahngee on .gossy .ahngee vompis .ishons ono pas .nevatine tots .o rilly anani tinya canno contole. Iss jusno wufit mans.
Insed avesta ahngee onna posatine pesant moanens. Meks mo sans, dunniss?

8. .et bahkfens likwo'a ken dons .et lahns likwo'a pins dons .an et dahnaz likwo'a conij kin dons, yano, winna massdout chahnj cahns, onviousley.

9. Lahf, isno far, bu yano, is sil pitie gun, inne? Fink.

10. Lahf, isto shaht ta waisen tarms heyton onnywens. Is'is jas to-o-o fahtin' shaht, mans. Wahno, I no, givvem allafing an'da!
Hahhah!
Na, no seryuns, no allafing! Jus givvem lika paund or summint. Da'be ahrite.


Patois?

16. If you are a single virgin, stop going on about it. You are not the only one and nobody cares.




directorscut -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (19/10/2012 3:51:29 PM)

Upgrade to Blu-ray, ffs.




Deviation -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (19/10/2012 8:05:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gram123

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation
quote:

ORIGINAL: homersimpson_esq
This looks like Maltese.

Dev, what's he saying?



Xil-ostja qed tgħid?! Dak ma jixbaħx il-Malti, trid tgħamilli pjaċir u tmur tieħdu f'sormok int bil-liba Ingliż tiegħek arr grr eċċ......


Either Dev's not really a Malteser, or else Google Translate is shit...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deviation via Google Translate
Xil-rice is saying?! What does resembles the English, has tgħamilli have fun and go in semen sormok you with your English grr arr etc.

Why does "il-Malti" translate as "English" ?!


It's Part 2. Google Translate is shit and can't always properly understand semantics, idioms, phrases, different sentence structures and some of the more refined parts of a language (liba is a vulgar word for semen, though it is also an offensive way to call someone or something, like calling him a cunt, even if it doesn't have such a STRONG connotation of cunt) between languages and also makes some mistakes. It's a reason why a translator would very rarely use googletranslate.




Shifty Bench -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (20/10/2012 1:16:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: directorscut

Upgrade to Blu-ray, ffs.


Yeah, Directorscut needs more people to moan to about how bad Universal Blu transfers are. [;)][:D]




Kilo_T_Mortal -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (20/10/2012 2:54:59 PM)

drink beer and read books in the bath.




kata -> RE: ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE (21/10/2012 12:39:09 PM)

Enjoy your food.




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