RE: The Great Beer Movie (Full Version)

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evil bill -> RE: The Great Beer Movie (24/1/2013 10:00:23 PM)



John Dies at the End

Running Time: 99 mins

Certification: 15

Considering Don Coscarelli has not had a full length movie release since Bubba Ho-Tep in 2002, it is no understatement to declare that the release of his latest opus is something of an event. I can't hide my admiration for Mr Coscarelli as he brought to the big screen the most twisted, surreal, frightening and original horror film of all time in Phantasm (1979). The story focussed on a galactic overlord that visits earth to dig up our dead, shrink and reanimate their bodies and send them to other ancient dimensions to work as slaves. In his latest opus called John Dies at the End he delivers another gloriously depraved sci-fi horror with a welcome return of latex gore makeup blended in with the CGI effects. Coscarelli thrives on creating a huge premise with the flimsiest of budgets and his latest project is no exception.

Dave Wong (Chase Williamson) and his titular sidekick, John (Rob Mayas) become reluctant protectors of mankind after ingesting a mind bending and deadly drug called Soy Sauce at a rock concert. The side effects include headaches, amplified senses and the ability to see and be attacked by ghostly/ demonic apparitions while jumping back and forth through time and dimensions. Dave and John store a vast array of monster slaying tools for the many manifestations that come knocking or bursting down their door. These include a propane fuelled flamethrower, sawn off shotgun, axes and best of all, a baseball bat covered in nails with strips of the old testament stuck to it.

When Dave discovers that mankind is under threat from a 'locust-like' parasite linked to a demon called Korrok, both he, John, his one handed girlfriend, her pet dog called Molly and a celebrity 'kick-ass' psychic (Clancy Brown) join forces to destroy this evil mastermind.

Reviewing John Dies at the End after one sitting is perhaps an impossible task. There are about a dozen plots and subplots being thrown at you within the first 15 minutes. Coscarelli attempts to tie all these plot threads together as Dave uncovers his story to a local reporter called Arnie played by the wonderful, Paul Giamatti. However this only succeeds in confusing matters even further.

Newcomers Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes are likeable and funny as the two slacker heroes. Their chemistry and timing is spot on as they step up against all manner of creatures, including zombies, shape changing ghouls, ghosts, parasitic demons, topless cult members and a large door 'knob'. There are also welcome cameos from Angus Scrimm as an extremely sinister priest and Glynn Turman as a shotgun-wielding detective.

Although confusing, part of the movie's charm is that there is no attempt at pacing or logical direction. John Dies at the End is a series of hilarious ideas and violent set pieces moulded into 99 minutes that fly by. Perhaps a weaker movie than Coscarelli's previous gems, Bubba Ho-Tepp and Phantasm, John Dies at the End remains a ripping yarn with flashes of brilliance and is a dead cert for cult classic status. Don't expect an extended run when this is released in March so catch it before it disappears into another dimension.

Rating 7.5/10 Beer Movie Rating: 5/5 (Beer Movie Gold)

Now you know mate i'm a huge fan of this director, and funny enough I was watching Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) last night and only seen this post today[:@]. Now this is a film that belongs on the ultimate film thread, the outrageous most awesome,Weird/Strange film fan base.[;)][:D]

DAVID GILLESPIE -> RE: The Great Beer Movie (29/1/2013 1:29:11 PM)


ORIGINAL: evil bill



John Dies at the End

Running Time: 99 mins

Certification: 15

Now you know mate i'm a huge fan of this director, and funny enough I was watching Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) last night and only seen this post today[:@]. Now this is a film that belongs on the ultimate film thread, the outrageous most awesome,Weird/Strange film fan base.[;)][:D]

Phantasm is still my favourite horror film of all time. Scared the shit out of me when I was younger but I loved the scifi elements of it too. I still think the movie holds up incredibly well and the sequel is great fun too.
Don is always willing to take a risk and try something truly bizarre.

DAVID GILLESPIE -> RE: The Great Beer Movie (14/2/2013 1:16:12 PM)

ABC's of Death (2012)

I loved Christmas as a child. My simple formula when opening presents was the order of smallest to largest sized gifts. Yet my parent’s trump card was the inclusion of a box in which they would insert an assortment of tiny presents. You never quite knew what was going to be in the box and my heart would always beat that little bit faster when I begin opening these. They weren’t expensive or always to my taste but they were eclectic and wonderful nonetheless.

I also adore horror anthologies. The general consensus by the critics is that they are patchy affairs with one segment emerging stronger than the rest. With the ABC’s of Death you get 26 tales covering all the letters of the alphabet. An array of horror directors with five grand to spend put their own twisted skills to the test and although some tales might not tickle your fancy, the bulk of them pass muster.

Trying to summarize the entire contents of the ABC’s of Death is difficult but I’ll have a go anyway. The first 3 segments, consisting of Apocolypse, Bigfoot and Cycle are impressive opening chapters. The first story, directed by Nacho Vigalondo (Timecrimes) is extremely gruesome with some magnificent make-up effects. It features a wife viciously attacking her husband with a kitchen knife . When the kitchen knife fails to finish the job, she then moves on to alternative means. Bigfoot is a five minute slasher tale about a randy babysitter that efforts to get a insomniac brat to go to sleep backfires on him and his girlfriend. Ernesto Diaz Espinoza’s Cycle is a bite sized version of Timecrimes with a young man stumbling through a dimensional gateway upon entering a garden bush.

The film peaks early at the letter ‘D’. I cannot recommend the chapter titled, ‘Dogfight’ strongly enough. It is an extraordinary short with breath-taking, stylish and nauseating sound effects and visuals. Marcel Sarmiento produces a mini masterpiece with next to no budget. The director uses his dog trainer as the lead fighter and has him face up to the elemental pooch. The results are incredible. The director has the cheek to turn the story on its head with a clever and satisfying twist. The only other feature that I am aware that Sarmiento has directed in the past was the unappreciated, Dead Girl but I’ll be waiting for his next project with bated breath.

Having reached such heights with the fourth chapter it is understandable that the next seven stories do not reach the same dizzy heights. In many instances the stories rely on scatological humour with F (Fart), K (Kapoo) and H (Hydro Electrical Diffusion) seeming a little out of place in a horror anthology. We also get one of the most disappointing chapters with a point of view death in G (Gravity). Things get back on track with the distasteful but brilliant L (Libido) directed by Timo Tjahjanto. This has the same sickening tone as A Serbian Film. It opens with a group of masked cult members overlooking a masturbation contest between two bound men. With one hand free, the competitior who ejaculates first wins and the loser dies in a rather uncomfortable fashion. To aid them in their goal they have live sexual acts performed in front of them. As each stage passes, the acts become increasingly perverse and repugnant. This is my vote as the most offensive of all the stories but it is expertly shot with superb makeup effects. Libido is the horror highlight in the anthology.

The middle section is a mixed bag, including a lazy segment from Ti West (M – Miscarriage), a pesky and very funny parrot sketch by Banjong Pisanthanakum (N -Nuptials) and a stylish and surreal, oral sex scene by the Amer team of Bruno Forzana and Helene Cattet (O -Orgasm). I ‘m still not convinced about Ti West. Many a HCF reviewer (Matt Wavish, Ross Hughes and Dr Lenera) respect this guy and his stylish, but painfully slow, build up, yet there is little to get excited about during this piece of work. It’s almost as if his heart isn’t in it?

The same cannot be said of the impressive entry by Serbian Film’s director, Srdjan Spasojeevic. He tackles the letter R (Removed) with a tale about a prisoner whose flesh is surgically removed on a daily basis by a group of scientists. I didn’t know what the hell was going on here but the imagery seems to have some tie in with the media or press? Of the remaining letters perhaps Ben Wheatley’s first person/ creature feature U (Unearthed), Kare Andrew’s ambitious sci-fi actioner (V -Vagitus) and the Xavier Gen’s sickening warning of the pressure of conforming to the perfect figure (X – XXL) are the most successful. Vagitus features heavily in the trailer for the ABC’s of Death and it is astonishing that Andrew’s has kept within his five thousand pound budget when you witness the special effects on display.

It goes without saying that most horror anthologies are going to be patchy. Normally a common theme (The Twilight Zone: The Movie) or story (Cat’s Eye) ties the strands together to overcome this factor. The reason that I enjoyed The ABC’s of Death so much is that, similarly to Grindhouse, the makers have taken a leap of faith with something a little different. With only the constraints of a letter and a micro budget, they have allowed a group of talented filmmakers the chance to let their imaginations go wild with the bulk of them either hitting the mark or in a few cases, raising the stakes. How many films can boast such diverse content as giant robots, Nazi women with giant dicks, a monster toilet, a killer turd, death by fart, a devious parrot, kitten stamping, dog fighting, zombie clowns and a paraplegic pleasuring herself with her prosthetic leg? It will take something special to overtake The ABC’s of Death as my favourite horror film of 2013.


DAVID GILLESPIE -> RE: The Great Beer Movie (2/4/2013 1:08:38 PM)

Running Time: 93 mins

Certificate: 18

Man with the Iron fists is Wu-Tang Clan's RZA take on the violent, badly dubbed but imaginative kung fu flicks of the 1970's. With the help of Quentin Tarantino and co-writer/ producer, Eli Roth, he stars, directs and pens this muddled, camp and noisy yarn about a group of mercenaries, bounty hunters, monsters and psychopaths arriving at the not so welcoming, Jungle Village to rob a shipment of gold. The only person that stands to protect the village is Smith the Blacksmith (RZA) who set up business there after being saved from death and trained by a bunch of zen loving monks. His dream is to make enough money to free his prostitute girlfriend, Lady Silk (Jamie Chung) from the clutches of her deadly mistress, Madam Blossom (Lucy Liu) and for them both to ride off into more peaceful pastures. Numerous characters appear to exchange insults and square up to each other including the perverted and pompous ex-soldier, Jack Knife (a fantastic Russell Crowe), a blade flicking expert called Zen-Yi (Rick Yune) and the metal formed giant, Brass Body (WWF star, Dave Bautista). When one of the nastiest of the villain gangs hack off Smith's hands for harbouring a wounded opponent, the blacksmith uses his yen training to infuse two iron hands to his arms and backbone. Most of the action, including the explosive and messy climax, takes place in Madam Blossom's House of Pleasure (erhem!). The winner will take all.

RZA's first stab at the martial arts genre is far from perfect. The dialogue is sloppy and some of the acting, including Mr RZA himself, is fairly poor. Sometimes the stylised camerawork and loud hip-hop soundtrack becomes a little overbearing and tiresome also. However there is no doubt that there is much fun to be had in what amounts to one big, bloody and visually stunning set piece. Heads roll, bones smash and blood sprays all over the place as one action scene follows another. Perhaps the best square off is between Smith and Brass Body as they both proceed to smash lumps out of each other. The sets and costumes are worth some praise also with the House of Pleasure fusing Chinese design with the interiors of the Moulin Rouge.

Although the acting consists of macho threats and boasting, Russell Crowe seems to be having great fun in his most flamboyant role for some time. He is hilarious as the sex starved mercenary, Jack Knife. He warns a group of hookers, 'You are business [Looks at his knife], this is pleasure' or the classic line, 'My name is Mr Knife! You can call me Jack'. Lucy Liu is also happy to ham it up in a similar role to her mafia boss in Kill Bill. A scene where she orchestrates the slaughter of a male clan by the many members of her Silken Hookers is gruesome but well orchestrated.

Man with the Iron Fists is a slick, fast moving and gory little actioner that isn't ashamed to camp things up into top gear. Although it misses the mark on a few occasions, I wouldn't be surprised if they'll be more than a few kung fu fans eager to add this to their collection.

[rating: 7.5/10]

DAVID GILLESPIE -> RE: The Great Beer Movie (10/10/2013 1:01:21 PM)

Creepshow (1982) - Review

When I very young I used to wait in anticipation for a British horror comic called Scream to hit my local newsagents in Abronhill. Normally only three copies would hit the shelves and I would be at the store at 9am to make sure that I was one of the children that were going to get their hands on the new edition. Usually there was a free gift accompanying each issue. Sometimes it was Dracula teeth, a fake spider or eyeball etc. The stories were fairly gruesome for kidfs fair with psychotic hunchbacks, poltergeists, bloodthirsty vampires and haunted houses. I loved it. Then it was pulled from the shelves, probably due to poor sales. I kept my copies and would read them over and over.

Creepshow is so much like that comic and for the most part is a hilarious fun ride of gruesome scares and laughs in equal measures. It was the brainchild of Stephen King, George A Romero and producer, Richard P Rubenstein and based on the old DC horror comics. It also remains Romerofs highest grossing film at the box office. The film consists of five stories tied together by a short tale of a vulnerable boy who has his favourite horror comic confiscated by his oafish father.

Father's Day involves the return from the grave of a mean and repulsive old patriarch whose family fortune was accrued by dubious means. It seems he has unfinished business with his siblings for his untimely death and to claim his cake. Ed Harris makes an early career appearance and some groovy dance moves as the great granddaughter's husband, Hank. Fatherfs Day is an amusing and solid enough first story but does not really grip or engage the viewer.
For me the second story, The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill is the weakest of the bunch. On one of the discfs extra features Romero explains that he advised Stephen King to overplay his titular character as far as he pleased. The director was delighted with the results, a viewpoint I cannot agree with. Kingfs performance reveals his shortcomings as an actor and his comical timing is for the most part awful. The tale is solid enough with Verrill tormented by a fast growing, extraterrestrial weed that sprouts from everywhere when he touches a piece of space rock.

Something to Tide You Over has the hilarious Leslie Nielson, playing a rich sociopath who gets more than he bargains for when he undertakes a sadistic form of revenge on his cheating wife and her lover (Ted Danson). He realises that all his sophisticated security cameras and equipment are no match for justice. The middle segment has some fantastic moments and a superb electronic score which was used Eli Roth is his fake trailer, Thanksgiving in Grindhouse (2007).

The Crate will likely be the part that most people who have watched Creepshow will remember. Hal Holbrook plays Henry Northrop, a burnt out college lecturer who is hen-pecked by his alcohol swilling and overbearing wife, Wilma (Adrienne Barbeau). When his colleague and chess partner, Dexter Stanley (Fritz Weaver) uncovers a crate with a hungry yeti like beast, Henry sees an opportunity to dispose of his abusive spouse. Tom Savini showcases his special effect prowess in his wonderful, toothsome creation.

Theyfre Creeping Up on You is the final story and arguably the best of the ensemble. E. J. Marshall portrays a horrendous and sadistic businessman called Upton Pratt that has made a fortune out of steamrolling and destroying the lives of those around him. When a black out hits the city, Pratt finds that he is not alone in his sterile and high security penthouse suite. If the saying of ewhat goes around comes aroundf is accurate then this businessman is in for a night of sheer hell. Although the final chapter has some great comical moments, this is by far the creepiest of the tales and features a horrific final image that still makes me shiver. It rightfully appears in Bravo's 99 Scariest Horror Movie Moments.

Where as most horror anthologies are patchy and uneven, Creepshow benefits from having the one director and writer taking the reigns. All the stories are filmed and sound very similar which only enhances the project. Romero cleverly decided to incorporate the frames and bold colours that one would associate with a comic book. The score is also beautifully constructed with a mix of 80Œs synthesizers and old-fashioned organs. The tales themselves are not particularly gripping or clever yet they are fun and enthousiastic. The final segment, They're Creeping Up on You was the almost scrapped due to budget constraints. This would have been a travesty as this is perhaps the most efficient mix of scares and laughs with an incredible performance from the late E.G. Marshall. You end up cheering on the repellent cockroaches as they invade his personal space.

Although films like Asylum, Black Sabbath, Catfs Eye and Tales from the Crypt have stronger individual stories, Creepshow has the strength of being expertly made with a superb cast. It is gruesome, full of energy and affectionately reflects on the essence of those old DC horror comics. It is a shame that the sequels were unable to discover the same energy.

Rating: 8/10

rich -> RE: The Great Beer Movie (10/10/2013 6:34:45 PM)

Creepshow is great, just watched it myself about a week ago. I always found Father's Day to be the weakest, but the rest have their moments, even if you have to wait until the last three for the really good stuff. Leslie Neilsen doing the serious part is probably the creepiest one since it holds out on the supernatural stuff til right at the end. The flashes of extreme colour in the comic panel moments are great. Nice Savini cameo at the end too when he sees someone else already sent away for the voodoo doll, ha ha. Never saw the sequels and don't really feel like checking them out.

Jason12 -> RE: The Great Beer Movie (16/10/2013 9:57:05 AM)

Stupid movie i dont why its name like evrybdy drinks in dis mover whnever they free..

DAVID GILLESPIE -> RE: The Great Beer Movie (7/1/2014 12:44:42 PM)



Creepshow is great, just watched it myself about a week ago. I always found Father's Day to be the weakest, but the rest have their moments, even if you have to wait until the last three for the really good stuff. Leslie Neilsen doing the serious part is probably the creepiest one since it holds out on the supernatural stuff til right at the end. The flashes of extreme colour in the comic panel moments are great. Nice Savini cameo at the end too when he sees someone else already sent away for the voodoo doll, ha ha. Never saw the sequels and don't really feel like checking them out.

The only reason that I didn't vote the first segment as being the worst of the bunch was due to Ed Harris groovy dance moves. Quite incredible really.

I only can remember the first sequel which consisted of 3 stories. The final segment being the best of a patchy and lazy attempt at scares. The film has its moments but the budget is not there and with the exception of George Kennedy the acting talent is pretty awful.

DAVID GILLESPIE -> RE: The Great Beer Movie (4/2/2014 1:13:11 PM)

Scavengers (2013)

I never quite bought into the hype that surrounded the sci-fi series Firefly and movie spin-off Serenity (2005). It wasn’t because they didn’t offer solid entertainment with a great lead character in Nathan Fillion’s Mal; it was just that there was nothing new or ground-breaking regards the productions. Serenity was good enough to blow Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (2005) out of the water as the best sci-fi movie of that year. Unlike the latter it attempted at creating three dimensional characters and an interesting plot. Scavengers follows in the footsteps of Firefly with a similar synopsis, a whole host of characters but with half the budget.

Wake (Roark Critchlow) is the captain of a stereotypical, rag-tag crew that salvage the remaining valuable cargo from space wars. The film opens with the Starship Revelator, dodging two rival scavengers, to take hold of an unusual energy module. Unfortunately for the occupants of the Revelator, they are being pursued by an unhinged adversary of Wake called Jekel (Dexter’s Sean Patrick Flanery) whose ship has far more firepower. He knows about Wake’s new cargo and is willing to risk everything to get his evil hands on it. The artefact is known as the ‘Chaos Generator’, an alien, power source with the ability to destroy and blow up unsuspecting b-movie actors that are unfortunate or stupid enough to touch it. The remainder of the film involves a cat and mouse dash across the galaxy as both captains sacrifice not only their ships but their crew to retain this source of power. The fate of the universe may well be at stake.

The first thing that comes to your attention whilst watching Scavengers is just how bad the CGI effects are. It is clear that Zariwny did not have much in the way of a budget to rectify this matter. The spaceships and battles are nothing better than you would have seen 20 years ago in late night sci-fi TV fair. This dispels much of excitement and spectacle that could have been created from the numerous set pieces that take place throughout the film. Thankfully the chemistry and the occasional sequence of amusing banter between the crew members makes up for this. The cast with the exception of one are solid in their roles. Although he is no Fillion, Roark Critchlow makes a charming and charismatic hero to route for. This is at polar opposites of Sean Patrick Flanery’s laughably bad villain who hams his way through each scene that he’s involved with. All that is missing from the performance is the top hat, dark eye makeup and twirly moustache.

There are some fun and unexpected sequences. One of these involves an overly curious member of the engineering team that gets too close to the alien artefact and explodes all over his colleagues. The moment is gory and hilarious. His body is then regenerated in a similar fashion to last year’s Elysium. An unfortunate villain also goes through a similar process after getting fried in an early shoot-out.

Although there is a lot of humour injected into the film there is a dark and foreboding tone present throughout the story. You don’t quite know which of the characters are going to live or die. Perhaps this is a bonus of having such a relatively unknown cast?

Scavengers is never going to win any awards for originality or likely to feature in anyone’s sci-fi flick top ten, but it is a lively, engaging and ocassionally thrilling entry into the genre. The cast is enthusiastic and there are some well crafted sequences. However it is unlikely that this film will gain the same size of fan base as Firefly did.

Rating: 5/10 Beer Movie Rating: 2/5

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