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clownfoot -> RE: PFA Player of the Year Shortlist, a ludicrous one. (15/4/2009 11:56:46 AM)
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From yesterday's Fiver... quote:
A LIST NOT EVEN A MOTHER COULD LOVE The Fiver, we'll be honest, isn't the most contemporary of characters. We still have a pen pal - and not only because Weird Uncle Fiver is currently doing a stretch in a computer-free house of correction - we still ask for Opal Fruits and a Marathon at the tuck shop and we still think myspace is the reward you get for wearing especially baggy undercrackers. But even we don't really understand why the PFA Player of the Year awards are decided using a system that makes Mike Newell's views on women seem modish and enlightened. The nominees for the awards were announced today, even though the votes were cast over a month ago. Voting for a player of the year at the start of March is about as relevant as judging a film at the end of act two (what's the point of that little fella with the limp in Usual Suspects anyway?). The story hasn't been told. Can't they just tweet them in on the final evening of the season or something? Me fink dat da Stevie G did da goal and is da good player. Give 'im da ward. The consequence of such an antiquated process is a list so laughable that it's not even funny. There is no sign of the season's outstanding players - Fwank, Stephen Ireland, Brede Hangeland, Kevin Davies, Darren Fletcher, Xabi Alonso, Robin van Persie, Andrea Dossena, Gary Neville - and instead the usual suspects predominate: hideous flat-track bullies like Him and Mbe, a pair of default picks - yes, picks - who would still make the list if they were out all season with knack. Anyway, here we celebrate the best bits from the six nominees for the PFA player of the year August 2008-February 2009 award: Rio Ferdinand Guest-edited OSM, chatted with Iain Dowie, did his back a few times, performed like a wino with electric pants in the 1-1 draw at Everton. As for this ( http://guardian.chtah.com/a/tBJ5LCvAY30QpAe9jDFAsp3YlK$/fvr23 ) ... $tevie Mbe Scored one whole league goal against sides in the top half during the voting period. Used to wipe Michael Essien's bottom. Spent some time in a cold cell. Appeared in court in a nice suit. Ryan Giggs Had his fourth-worst season, after 1994-95, 2002-03 and 2007-08. Ran past a few traffic cones in win over Chelsea. Him Substituted himself against Aston Villa. Escaped red cards for kicking Scott Brown, Michael Dawson, Ian Wilkinson, David Dunn. Scored two away goals in the league all season. At West Brom. Nemanja Vidic Fair enough, he was great during the voting period, but it looks slightly silly now that he's nursing the new porta that Fernando Torres tore him a month ago, doesn't it. Edwin van der Sar Piece of meat with eyes who has never fully recovered from having his hooter blootered by Robbie Keane two years ago. Whiled away 1311 minutes between November and March by trying to make out 21 men in the middle distance. Young player of the year nominees Gabriel Agbonlahor, Rafael da Silva, Jonny Evans, Ashley Young and the winner is Stephen Ireland.
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