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The Weirdest Character Names Of 2013
What were the screenwriters thinking?

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For some reason, 2013 saw a wealth of genuinely bizarre character names onscreen. A few of these we can blame on books or comics, but many others come with no good excuse. Here are our favourite bizarre films of the year.

WORDS HELEN O'HARA
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Plutarch Heavensbee, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
PLUTARCH HEAVENSBEE
THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE

Sounds like: The child of philosopher parents born to hippie grandparents.
Actually is: The architect of the 75th annual Hunger Games in the despotic future of Panem.

Stacker Pentecost, Pacific Rim
STACKER PENTECOST
PACIFIC RIM

Sounds like: A born-again supermarket employee.
Actually is: The tough-as-nails, apocalypse-cancelling head of the Jaeger programme on an Earth under attack from giant monsters.

Broomhilda von Shaft, Django Unchained
BROOMHILDA VON SHAFT
DJANGO UNCHAINED

Sounds like: What happens nine months after Shaft visits a Bavarian castle.
Actually is: A German-speaking house slave in the antebellum South, secretly married to Django.

Gerry Lane, World War Z
GERRY LANE
WORLD WAR Z

Sounds like: An accountant.
Actually is: A UN investigator and the man who might just save the world from the fast zombie menace.


Malekith The Accursed, Thor: The Dark World
MALEKITH THE ACCURSED
THOR: THE DARK WORLD

Sounds like: A character from World Of Warcraft.
Actually is: A Dark Elf of Svartalheim who, OK, might as well be a character from World of Warcraft.

Wally Banter, Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa
WALLY BANTER
ALAN PARTRIDGE: ALPHA PAPA

Sounds like: A made-up name that no DJ should ever be allowed.
Actually is: A made-up (we hope) name that a DJ somehow got away with.

Smaug, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug
SMAUG
THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG

Sounds like: As pronounced by Gandalf, like a Norwegian word for atmospheric pollution.
Actually is: A big scary dragon who will kill you and eat you if you make fun of him.

Aldrich Killian, Iron Man 3
ALDRICH KILLIAN
IRON MAN 3

Sounds like: A tough-but-sensitive guy in a Mills & Boon novel.
Actually is: A nerd-turned-entrepreneur in an Iron Man movie.


Rod Yuletide, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
ROD YULETIDE
ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES

Sounds like: The improbable offspring of Ron Burgundy and Buddy the Elf.
Actually is: A New York-based anchorman in the comedy sequel.

Mazer Rackham, Ender’s Game
MAZER RACKHAM
ENDER'S GAME

Sounds like: A 1980s brain-challenging puzzle game.
Actually is: An elderly soldier credited with winning the first war between humanity and the Formics.

Eep, The Croods
EEP
THE CROODS

Sounds like: The sound you make when you realise you’ve stepped on your favourite DVD.
Actually is: Emma Stone’s winsome cavegirl in The Croods.

Silas Ramsbottom, Despicable Me 2
SILAS RAMSBOTTOM
DESPICABLE ME 2

Sounds like: A farmer in a 19th century pastoral novel.
Actually is: The head of the mysterious and powerful Anti-Villain League.


Valentine Morgenstern, The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones
VALENTINE MORGENSTERN
THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES

Sounds like: The hero of a minor 18th century comic opera.
Actually is: A sinister former Shadowhunter who’s gone to the dark side.

J. Daniel Atlas, Now You See Me
J. DANIEL ATLAS
NOW YOU SEE ME

Sounds like: A guy with a cool last name and a big crush on J. Edgar Hoover.
Actually is: A magician. We don’t know his views on Hoover.


CHESTER V.
CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2

Sounds like: Someone took the pen away as he was just getting started on his surname.
Actually is: An inspiring tech guru with a devoted and cult-like following.

Sandy Patterson, Identity Thief
SANDY PATTERSON
IDENTITY THIEF

Sounds like: A girl. Someone who might look like Melissa McCarthy.
Actually is: A guy. Looks like Jason Bateman.


Roycephus Pulsipher, R.I.P.D.
ROYCEPHUS PULSIPHER
R.I.P.D.

Sounds like: A character Jeff Bridges would play if the Coens made a film about Witchfinders.
Actually is: A character Jeff Bridges plays in a supernatural comedy about ghost policemen.

Cypher Raige, After Earth
CYPHER RAIGE 
AFTER EARTH

Sounds like: A computer nerd from the movie Hackers.
Actually is: Will Smith’s fearless warrior and rubbish father.

Gator Bodine, Homefront
GATOR BODINE
HOMEFRONT

Sounds like: Adam Sandler’s long-lost dad in The Waterboy.
Actually is: James Franco’s nutty meth-dealer who picks a fight with Jason Statham.

Keller Dover, Prisoners
KELLER DOVER
PRISONERS

Sounds like: A supporting character in a Carry On film. Middle name probably “Ben”.
Actually is: Hugh Jackman’s tortured father to a missing girl in Denis Villeneuve’s drama.

 

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Your Comments

1 RE: Empire. You are a steaming pile.
L: krissb1977 The Weirdest Character Names Of 2013 What were the screenwriters thinking? I imagine they were probably thinking 'I am using the character names from the original source provided.' quote]A few of these we can blame on books or comics, but many others come with no good excuse.eading the intro immediately above the list can often prove useful. More

Posted by elab49 on Tuesday December 17, 2013, 14:56

2 Empire. You are a steaming pile.
The Weirdest Character Names Of 2013 What were the screenwriters thinking? I imagine they were probably thinking 'I am using the character names from the original source provided.' I'm aware of the decline in quality of the magazine and website but this kind of excretable article kind of sums it all up for me. Attempting 'tongue in cheek' and yet only managing 'tongue and 9V battery' although it wouldn't surprise me if this was intended to be serious and the research was just awful. More

Posted by krissb1977 on Tuesday December 17, 2013, 13:22

3 RE: RE:
L: elab49 Arachnopbia - pretty sure that's what they called the lead spider ote] Your right. lol. The 'General' spider in Arachnophobia was refered to as 'Big Bob'. Been so long since I last saw that movie I'd almost forgotten about that. lol. More

Posted by GrizBe on Monday December 16, 2013, 15:23

4 RE: RE:
L: GrizBe L: Pyrophobic Personally I think a scifi/horror blockbuster hero called Gerry makes for a nice change from the hundreds of 'Johns' and 'Jacks' who usually head up those films! I agree. I'm just waiting for there to be an action hero called Bob. As said the Blackadder way of course. sp; Arachnopbia - pretty sure that's what they called the lead spider More

Posted by elab49 on Monday December 16, 2013, 14:27

5 Cypher Raige
I've not seen the film and I have no intention to, but I think Will Smith's 'Cypher Raige' in After Earth deserves to be on this list. More

Posted by Thalanos on Monday December 16, 2013, 13:20

6 RE:
L: Pyrophobic Personally I think a scifi/horror blockbuster hero called Gerry makes for a nice change from the hundreds of 'Johns' and 'Jacks' who usually head up those films! I agree. I'm just waiting for there to be an action hero called Bob. As said the Blackadder way of course. More

Posted by GrizBe on Monday December 16, 2013, 10:33

7
Personally I think a scifi/horror blockbuster hero called Gerry makes for a nice change from the hundreds of 'Johns' and 'Jacks' who usually head up those films! More

Posted by Pyrophobic on Monday December 16, 2013, 09:14

8 RE: Wardaddy
While most of these names are stupid, some make perfect sense if you know the source material. Plutarch for instance in Hunger Games is named thusly because residents of the Capital take Greco-Roman styled first names. Malekith... well, it is Marvel Comics and he did first appear in the mid 80's. Generally he's just refered to as Malekith. 'The Accursed' is just a title, same as how Thor is Thor Odinson and Loki, Loki Laufeyson. Smaug however, Tolkein's notes show his name comes from "the past tense of the primitive Germanic verb Smugan, to squeeze through a hole." And should be pronounced with the au sounding like ou, similar to Sauron, making it Sm-ow-g. More

Posted by GrizBe on Sunday December 15, 2013, 23:28

9 Wardaddy
I already know what 2014's number one strange (and also best) name will be: Brad Pitt IS 'Sergeant Wardaddy'. Imagine being called Wardaddy. Holy shit! Imagine if he became a priest! Father Wardaddy! That's even better! More

Posted by putthatcookiedown on Sunday December 15, 2013, 21:36

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