ON UDO KIER...
"I tried all my life to be a normal person. Stars are in the sky. I like cooking and gardening. I like to smell the earth. I don’t wear gardening gloves, even though my hands bleed. I have a lot of palm trees, because they say to me holidays and ocean. I grew up very poor and I had an aunt who would go on holiday and send me postcards of palm trees and I would pin them to the wall, so I’ve gone from that fantasy to reality.
I rescue dogs. I have a beautiful ranch in Los Angeles, but I have no time for horses, so I bought plastic horses in life size. My favourite horse is called Max, after Max von Sydow. He’s an old horse but a good horse. He’s brown and gold and makes twice a day a sound: "'Houyhnhnm!' At midday he goes 'houyhnhnm!', so I know it’s time for lunch, and at 8pm he goes 'houyhnhnm!', so I know it’s time for the news. That’s how I live, with plastic horses on a ranch. I have my own well, so my own water supply, and I’m very green: I have solar and everything. I don’t mind taking the bus or the Metro. People ask me what I’m doing there. I say, 'Am I not allowed to take the Metro? It’s faster!'
When I was young I wanted to play Arthur Rimbaud, but now Leonardo DiCaprio has played him. So I don’t know who I want play now. Ernest Hemingway? It changes. I’m sure somebody will offer me something.
When I’m depressed and the weather is bad I look up my page on IMDb and I have my coffee and feel better. There are even films on there I don’t know about! I phone up my friends and say, 'Fuck you! I made 200 movies!' 100 are bad, 50 you could watch, and 50 are good. I think as an actor if you can say you made 50 good films, amen."