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Feature
Top 10 Worst Sidekicks


What Do You Think?
To submit your thoughts on our Top 10 Courtroom Battles, register or login now.

Your Comments
Shia leBoeueeoef
Does anyone actually like Shia leboueoueuof in anything ... Read More

Fudgedan About me

12:51, 03 September 2008 | Report This Post
Here is a list of my worst and fave sidekicks. This may get edited. Worst 1.The Kid (Matrix Revolutions) 2. Boxy and Muffet from battlestar Galactica (I believe got a theatrical release.) 3. Leo Getz - Lethal Weapon 3 4. Anakin Skywalker - The Phantom Menace, (Jar jar I can forgive because he is less important to the overall story and doesnt demystify the greatest ever villain) 5. Robin - Batman Forever (where the rot set in) 6. Tim and lex Murphy, - Jurassic park 7. Richard Pryor -... Read More

sleepwalker About me

11:50, 20 August 2008 | Report This Post
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Rubeh...aaahahahaaa
Ruby Rhod should have been number one. There really isn't a more annoying character in the history of cinema than Chris Tuckers Ruby. And for anyone who wasn't a Hellblazer fanboy before the Constantine movie, the Shia and Keanu characters were just fine. ... Read More

Bluehawk About me

12:40, 19 August 2008 | Report This Post
Where's Bloom?
Where is Orlando Bloom as the uselessly wooden carpenter in Pirates of the Caribbean movies? Let's face it, the monkey was a more convincing actor than that annoying waste of space. ... Read More

zumtream About me

12:58, 17 August 2008 | Report This Post
RE: Another one for the fire....
Willie Scott wasn't the sidekick - short-round was! Besides she was f'king hilarious in that movie - it's one of the main reasons for watching it, and Kate Capshaw didn't date Speilberg till long after the movie wrapped. And Batgirl is named Barbara - someone didn't do their research. ... Read More

princemadonna About me

15:50, 15 August 2008 | Report This Post
Chris Tucker = cut price purple one.
Wassup fact fans, Ruby Rhod's character was written with Prince in mind to play him, which would have been great, but he said "I ain'y playing no shrieky voiced sidekick to Bruce Willis, ya jive jive turkey frenchman!" Or something ....... ... Read More

richithekiller About me

15:18, 15 August 2008 | Report This Post
Rhod help us
Ever since I endured Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element I've refused to watch him in anything else including the Rush Hour series. Besson should have made Tricky the sidekick instead, Bristrolian accent and all. ... Read More

granny About me

16:02, 14 August 2008 | Report This Post
RE: Re: Willie Scott in Temple of Doom
L: Bushman As Stewie Griffin said, 'Lady only in movie 'cos she humping director'. I'm pretty sure they didn't get together until a few years after Temple of Doom… L: skyblueal How about Rob Schneider in Judge Dredd?... Arrh, I hate him! They made him even more annoying by giving him an over-the-top silly voice in the German dubbed version…   My vote goes to Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel in IIhen again, that movie is beyond redemption anyway… ... Read More

grucl About me

14:44, 12 August 2008 | Report This Post
RE: Chas
A Gnome Named Gnorm?! Pretty sure the film was called 'Up World' over here. ... Read More

fuzzy About me

02:10, 12 August 2008 | Report This Post
Another one for the fire....
How about Rob Schneider in Judge Dredd?... ... Read More

skyblueal About me

17:18, 11 August 2008 | Report This Post
I gotta agree with studtrucker. the whole point of Chris Tucker's character was that he was annoying, mission achieved, it really did kick an incredible movie up a gear higher. ... Read More

CameronJames About me

09:44, 11 August 2008 | Report This Post
RE: He's a few:
Regardless of what she said, she still reeked of camel turds. ... Read More

Epiphany Demon About me

02:40, 11 August 2008 | Report This Post
RE: He's a few:
L: mjscarface - Wheelie (Transformers The Movie) - Yancy Butler in Hard Target (at least Wil Brimley was pissed and fired arrows) - That kid in Robocrap 3 (ED-209, deadliest killing machine known to man - hacked by a little kid and made to act like a puppy... GTFO) - Jinx (Die Another Day) ... Bond dies a horrible death thanks to ma' certain she actually says ''YOUR momma''.According to the dvd subtitles anyway! ... Read More

darth silas About me

02:32, 11 August 2008 | Report This Post
RE: Empire - give it a rest
Yay for Studtrucker! (I guess all two of his will have to unite after all.) ... Read More

Concise_Statement About me

02:14, 11 August 2008 | Report This Post
Empire - give it a rest
The Fifth Element is a great film, with Chris Tucker's performance kicking the film into a different dimension that makes it really stand out. It may have been disagreeable to your reviewer, but this was ELEVEN YEARS AGO. let it og for gods sake !!! its performance at the box office in the states shows that it had good word of mouth, and it did well internationally also. People liked it. These people liked Chris Tucker in it. I liked him in it. My Wife did also. Get something else to rant abou... Read More

Studtrucker About me

21:22, 10 August 2008 | Report This Post
Ruby Rhod fans of the world unite, and SUCK IT UP BITCHES!
I love it. I love that Ruby Rhod got ranked as worse than Estelle Ghetty, JarJar Binks, and Reno the Dog! That's fantastic! Don't get me wrong, I like Chris Tucker...in Friday...and maybe Rush Hour (sorry, but the sequels sucked;) BUT Ruby totally ruined the Fifth Element. I'd have preferred it if the stupid mugger with the picture hat (Willis said "Nice hat." Mugger said, "You like it?!") had been the sidekick. He would have been much less annoying. ... Read More

Indigo_Fox About me

06:06, 09 August 2008 | Report This Post
FHLOSTON PAAAAARADIIIIISE!
Shut the hell up. Ruby Rhod was amazing. Chris Tucker's best performance by a mile because he doesn't have to pretend to be anything other than a shallow, horny, annoying prick on acid. I'm willing to bet it's an autobiographical portrayal. ... Read More

Concise_Statement About me

04:46, 09 August 2008 | Report This Post
Re: Willie Scott in Temple of Doom
As Stewie Griffin said, 'Lady only in movie 'cos she humping director'. ... Read More

Bushman About me

21:40, 08 August 2008 | Report This Post
I stopped reading the second I read Ruby
He was an awesome character and to have him in this list makes it not a credible list :P ... Read More

Brettyboy About me

19:28, 08 August 2008 | Report This Post
Ruby was excelllllllent! ... Read More

Bastilla About me

14:21, 08 August 2008 | Report This Post
Next Page

Simon Crook explains his choices...

No Clouseau without Kato. No Holmes without Watson. No Wallace without Gromit. True enough, a cinematic hero stands alone, but even your dramatic invincibles need something or someone to lean on occasionally — hence your sidekick. Bubble the right chemistry and you can cook up a gratifying mini-double-act that will be beloved forever. Get it wrong and... well, you get wounded howls like this.

Sidekicks are a dramatic staple as old as Falstaff, but they really came of age during the ’80s and the great-for-a-while buddy-movie boom. Lethal Weapon, 48 Hours, Alien Nation... All solid stuff, but as the age-old showbiz maxim goes, shit follows success and, in the hunt for buddy gold, high-concept overkill kicked in. Cops and gnomes? Cops and mums? Whoopi Goldberg and a rubber dinosaur? Did this happen? Is this all a bad dream? What page is this again?

Ultimately, what’s fatal here is that these painfully hopeless combinations are all contrast and no compliment — more like a persistent, annoying, randy dog than a hero’s faithful hound. Not so much a Scooby as a Scrappy- Doo. Still, enough of the dog analogies. On with the pain. Welcome, if you can bear it, to cinema’s suckiest sidekicks. Emphasis firmly on the kick.

What Do
You Think?

Did Simon get it completely wrong, miss an obvious choice or were his choices spot on? Tell us what you think by clicking here.

This top ten first appeared in Empire Magazine Issue 211.


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