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'Old Painless' Predator (1987)
You probably couldn't lift it, you certainly couldn't aim it, you couldn't fire it without being blown backwards off your feet by massive recoil, you couldn't possibly carry enough ammunition to fire it for more than a couple of seconds, and the ejected bullet casings would tear you to shreds. Oh, and it needs a power source: three truck batteries for preference. None of which prevents Governor Jesse Ventura from hefting the not-so-mini 7.62mm M134 minigun, designed for mounting on helicopters, into a gun-battle with jungle guerrillas, or Bill Duke from using it to blast hell out of an acre of foliage in an attempt to mow down Kevin Peter Hall. Director John McTiernan's DVD commentary gleefully admits how ludicrous it is. It's also super-super-cool.
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