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10 Step Guide To Surviving First Contact With Alien Races
How to make it through those tricky first encounters with an extraterrestrial race

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10 Step Guide To Surviving First Contact With Alien Races | 5. Watch out for covert incursions…
5. Watch out for covert incursions…

For example: Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, The Thing, Village Of The Damned, Slither, Little Shop Of Horrors

Alien invaders: they look just like us. Or alternatively they hide in our bodies / an innocuous flower shop until they have bred in sufficient numbers to pose a real threat. Eternal vigilance, then, is the key. Is everyone you know suddenly acting like an emotionless robot? Is every woman you know suddenly pregnant with creepy golden-eyed children? Are there freaky-looking red slug-things everwhere?

In cases like these, you’re going to need to find a flame-thrower, stat. You may also want to avoid sleep, devise some sort of test to determine who’s still human, and/or buy chocolates instead of flowers for the foreseeable. Safer that way.

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Your Comments

Thought the absence of STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT was a bit odd given the theme. Clearly as we learn from its final sequences - you welcome the aliens, offer them refreshments and introduce them to rock music - us and them then live long and prosper! More

Posted by FirstContact on Saturday April 14, 2012, 10:00

2 RE: quick correction
L: CapCanuck a quick correction: there are no aliens of any sort in the film Outland. Otherwise, an amusing article :) amn, that was meant to be Outlander in both instances. It should now be corrected. More

Posted by Helen OHara on Friday April 13, 2012, 15:25

3 Or.....
They're here to kick start our evolution & only make us aware of this by a cult set up by a bad sci-fi writer & promoted by chief of propaganda Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. We can then use our latent alien knowledge to defeat 17ft turds when they invade! Travolta told us!!! & were you meaning OutlandER rather than Outland? More

Posted by Bleaz79 on Thursday April 12, 2012, 21:07

4 quick correction
a quick correction: there are no aliens of any sort in the film Outland. Otherwise, an amusing article :) More

Posted by CapCanuck on Thursday April 12, 2012, 13:09

5 11. Stay Away
For example: Alien, District 9, Promethius, Alien vs Predator, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial As your mother would say 'Don't touch what is not yours', or you might just have something jumping out of your chest or turn into a prawn. If science fiction films haven't told us something, it's that if you leave aliens alone they might leave you alone. Just don't trust any of them. Even that E.T. fella looks dangerious, would you let an alien take your son on a flying bike ride, even if he was the nicest alien you had ever met? What if Elliott had fallen off his bike in mid flight!?! STAY AWAY! More

Posted by jwhite83 on Wednesday April 11, 2012, 16:27

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