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10 Step Guide To Surviving First Contact With Alien Races
How to make it through those tricky first encounters with an extraterrestrial race

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10 Step Guide To Surviving First Contact With Alien Races | 10. Be ready to improvise weaponry
10. Be ready to improvise weaponry

For example: War Of The Worlds, Mars Attacks!, The Faculty, Signs

The first rule of hostile alien first contact is that conventional weapons are generally useless. If the army are called in, they will fail against the alien menace (sorry, guys!). The second rule is that bizarre everyday substances or items will turn out to be more helpful.

The common cold, hip designer drugs or good old water may turn out to hold the key – so in extremis try sneezing on them, or offer them a hit of something illegal with a tall cool glass of H2O to follow. If none of those options work, start going through your record collection; we recommend Slim Whitman’s Indian Love Call, which is effective against at least 10 percent of Martians.
 

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Your Comments

1 Why no FIRST CONTACT?
Thought the absence of STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT was a bit odd given the theme. Clearly as we learn from its final sequences - you welcome the aliens, offer them refreshments and introduce them to rock music - us and them then live long and prosper! More

Posted by FirstContact on Saturday April 14, 2012, 10:00

2 RE: quick correction
L: CapCanuck a quick correction: there are no aliens of any sort in the film Outland. Otherwise, an amusing article :) amn, that was meant to be Outlander in both instances. It should now be corrected. More

Posted by Helen OHara on Friday April 13, 2012, 15:25

3 Or.....
They're here to kick start our evolution & only make us aware of this by a cult set up by a bad sci-fi writer & promoted by chief of propaganda Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. We can then use our latent alien knowledge to defeat 17ft turds when they invade! Travolta told us!!! & were you meaning OutlandER rather than Outland? More

Posted by Bleaz79 on Thursday April 12, 2012, 21:07

4 quick correction
a quick correction: there are no aliens of any sort in the film Outland. Otherwise, an amusing article :) More

Posted by CapCanuck on Thursday April 12, 2012, 13:09

5 11. Stay Away
For example: Alien, District 9, Promethius, Alien vs Predator, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial As your mother would say 'Don't touch what is not yours', or you might just have something jumping out of your chest or turn into a prawn. If science fiction films haven't told us something, it's that if you leave aliens alone they might leave you alone. Just don't trust any of them. Even that E.T. fella looks dangerious, would you let an alien take your son on a flying bike ride, even if he was the nicest alien you had ever met? What if Elliott had fallen off his bike in mid flight!?! STAY AWAY! More

Posted by jwhite83 on Wednesday April 11, 2012, 16:27


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