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10 Step Guide To Surviving First Contact With Alien Races
How to make it through those tricky first encounters with an extraterrestrial race

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Miss Manners, for all her strengths, is strangely silent on the correct behaviour when making first contact with an extraterrestrial race. But where other etiquette guides fail, Empire is here to help. If, like the stars of Battleship this week, you find yourself in a first contact situation, the following examples may prove to be useful illustrations of what to do – and what to avoid…

WORDS HELEN O'HARA
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10 Step Guide To Surviving First Contact With Alien Races | 1. Watch For The Signs
1. Watch For The Signs

For example: Signs, Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, Chicken Little

There are often signs and portents ahead of first contact with an alien race. Perhaps ships lost at sea are appearing in the desert, or the same five-note sequence is being heard all over the world. Perhaps crop circles are appearing in farmers’ fields in odd corners of Pennsylvania. In rare cases, the sky might be falling down.

However improbable the reports, it’s important to take them seriously because they will rarely lead you astray. That old weirdo up in the woods is worth listening to; that schoolchild is worth listening to, and that incredibly fit scientist is definitely worth listening to. If we've learned anything from the movies, it's that hot scientists are pretty much always right. And at least if you pay attention now you’ll be prepared when the aliens finally descend in number.
 

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Your Comments

1 Why no FIRST CONTACT?
Thought the absence of STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT was a bit odd given the theme. Clearly as we learn from its final sequences - you welcome the aliens, offer them refreshments and introduce them to rock music - us and them then live long and prosper! More

Posted by FirstContact on Saturday April 14, 2012, 10:00

2 RE: quick correction
L: CapCanuck a quick correction: there are no aliens of any sort in the film Outland. Otherwise, an amusing article :) amn, that was meant to be Outlander in both instances. It should now be corrected. More

Posted by Helen OHara on Friday April 13, 2012, 15:25

3 Or.....
They're here to kick start our evolution & only make us aware of this by a cult set up by a bad sci-fi writer & promoted by chief of propaganda Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. We can then use our latent alien knowledge to defeat 17ft turds when they invade! Travolta told us!!! & were you meaning OutlandER rather than Outland? More

Posted by Bleaz79 on Thursday April 12, 2012, 21:07

4 quick correction
a quick correction: there are no aliens of any sort in the film Outland. Otherwise, an amusing article :) More

Posted by CapCanuck on Thursday April 12, 2012, 13:09

5 11. Stay Away
For example: Alien, District 9, Promethius, Alien vs Predator, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial As your mother would say 'Don't touch what is not yours', or you might just have something jumping out of your chest or turn into a prawn. If science fiction films haven't told us something, it's that if you leave aliens alone they might leave you alone. Just don't trust any of them. Even that E.T. fella looks dangerious, would you let an alien take your son on a flying bike ride, even if he was the nicest alien you had ever met? What if Elliott had fallen off his bike in mid flight!?! STAY AWAY! More

Posted by jwhite83 on Wednesday April 11, 2012, 16:27


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