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Feature
Star Wars Characters Who DON’T Deserve Their Own Spin-Off
On no account make these Star Wars movies!

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Clumsy Stormtrooper

Stromtrooper

It may well be that there’s an 80-minute comedy to be made all about the hilarious exploits of the Empire’s clutziest employee, the Stormtrooper who whacks his head on the top of a Death Star door frame in A New Hope. The possibilities are endless: he could stub his toe on the way to the bathroom, inadvertently step on a Mouse Droid and fall flat on his backside or fall off a gantry.

But let’s be honest: this would be a one-joke movie along the lines of Mr Magoo, and about as funny. Maybe if it was shot silent and in black-and-white it could work, but even then the armoured buffoon’s antics would soon become tedious after the fifth or sixth time he hit his thumb with a hammer. There are plenty of Stormtroopers in the Expanded Universe who are more deserving of a full-length spin-off: the conflicted Anson Trask, introduced in the Star Wars: Legacy comic series, for example, or perhaps one of the aliens who fought for non-humans to be admitted into the Stormtrooper Corps with the help of the reforms of Admiral Daala, as detailed in Kevin Anderson’s spin-off novels.

So let’s steer clear of comedy, shall we? It’s been a long time since Star Wars was genuinely funny, and we’re not talking about The Phantom Menace’s flatulent eopie.

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Have Your Say
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Your Comments

1 THEY ALL DESERVE TO BE MADE INTO SHORTS!
I think the utter demise of said characters in short films - making one good Star Wars promo for Disney's HANDS OFF approach would restore faith in the franchise. As long as incredibly gifted writers, who could direct such comedy material in the way that Marvel Studios restored the whole idea of short films as a promo could be incredibly enjoyable to watch. I personally would like to see the utter demise of all of these characters, in Star Wars historically accurate time lines. Who would not want to see Darth Vader step on the tiny robot who is about to deliver the most important message ever to the Federation, leading Darth Vader into more heavy labored breathing anger (leading to more deaths of other side characters); mutant killer baby Ewok caused by the Federation Industrial Complex - wiping out the cannibalistic Ewoks into extinction. Get the picture? If not, then there is no Operation funny bones in the Galaxy. Just make sure Joss Whedon gets to do one. I am sure there woulMore

Posted by Helyx Helyx on Sunday February 24, 2013, 05:08

2
I can see it now. Kevin James is... Cedric Cooper: Stormtrooper More

Posted by theelusiveshaun on Thursday February 21, 2013, 12:46

3 Lighten up, you don't have to read it
That's a fair amount of pissed off messages for a bit of throw away fun, it passed a few mins in work for me and gave me a smirk or two so keep up the random bits and bobs Empire. More

Posted by jodybriggs on Wednesday February 20, 2013, 16:52

4 RE:
L: tejo It’s more an article I’d expect from TotalFilm. L: Rumpledink I'd so watch Mouse Droid and Rancor Keeper! ompletely agree with both of these. More

Posted by rogerebert on Wednesday February 20, 2013, 13:18

5
I would add Chewbacca to this list.... More

Posted by NeoBrowser on Wednesday February 20, 2013, 04:35

6
Number 9 reminded me of this: http://trashcompactor.tumblr.com/post/26145243 424/daw-someone-loves-even-you-rancor More

Posted by apocalypso on Wednesday February 20, 2013, 01:04

7 JAR JAR BINKS
How does Jar Jar not populate the entire list??? More

Posted by Heman on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 20:25

8
How about the Sarlacc? At least it's digestive system could justify a trilogy unlike The Hobbit. More

Posted by steveg66 on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 19:40

9 The hate is swelling in you now...
So many rants posted about these fun little time wasters. Empire scribes - don't let the haters grind you down. I do wish more folks would heed Thumper... "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all" More

Posted by MrkyMrk on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 16:49

10
The Malakili story would make a nice short though.. More

Posted by Overmind on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 14:21

11 What you talking about!?
I'd so watch Mouse Droid and Rancor Keeper! More

Posted by Rumpledink on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 12:35

12
It’s more an article I’d expect from TotalFilm. More

Posted by tejo on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 11:08

13 Long Time Reader, First Time Poster!
This really is a rubbish article eh?! More

Posted by DextersLab on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 10:51

14 Long Time Reader, First Time Poster!
This really is a rubbish article eh?! More

Posted by DextersLab on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 10:43

15 Erm...
Jar Jar... Yousa remember himsa? More

Posted by jojoruck on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 10:41

16 Rancor keeper
You do realise the rancor keeper was played by the great Shakespearean actor Paul Brooke (although known to most these days from Bridget Jones Diary). Just sayin' More

Posted by Norsedwarf on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 10:37

17 RE:
Slow news day?! More

Posted by Jezzman on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 09:47

18
What an incredible article you've written More

Posted by rossabroad on Tuesday February 19, 2013, 09:38


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