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Like he'd scalped a Lego man and decided to wear his hair like a hat.
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Jesus, Colin, the roots! The roots! This is a crime against one of nature's brunettes.
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Like an even more terrifying Vanessa Feltz.
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Modelled on Michael Jackson's 'do. 'Nuff said, true believers.
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The best thing about Angels & Demons was the relief we felt at seeing Robert Langdon no longer looking like he might present an episode of Top Gear at any second.
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His 'rock star' Dracula looked more like an accountant suffering a crippling mid-life crisis. Ponytails are not cool, especially on the greatest vampire of them all.
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We could have filled this entire category with Cage coiffures, but we plumped for this horrendous Boschian bird's nest number that still has us waking up at 3am, sheets soaked with sweat.
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In the future, posits The Surrogates, everyone can look like their ideal self. Bruce Willis' ideal self, it seems, is H from Steps.
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The sort of hairstyle that sets the ginger movement, which has made such advances with Damian Lewis and Christina Hendricks, ten years or more.
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Wiiiiiig! That's a wig, isn't it? Wig alert! Wig alert! Woooo! Wooooo!
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