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10 Best Malcolm Tucker Lines

Malcolm Tucker in In The Loop

While there have been any number of memorable kiss-offs this decade, no one man has done more to further the cause of the English language insult than the star of the BBC's The Thick Of It. The finest political satire of recent times, its director/creator/writer Armando Iannucci hired Ian Martin as its 'swearing consultant', resulting in scripts with the finest, most imaginative insults since Shakespeare - and some of the most pithy. Here are our favourites.

"Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off."

"How much fucking shit is there on the menu and what fucking flavour is it?"

"Fuckety bye."

"Christ on a bendy bus son, don't be such a fucking faff arse."

"Ambassador, with your big baldy head you are spoiling us!"

"Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock."

"Wake up and smell the cock."

"You are a boring F, star, star, CUNT!"

"Don't get sarcastic with me, son. We burned this tight-arsed city to the ground in 1814. And I'm all for doing it again, starting with you, you frat fuck. You get sarcastic with me again and I will stuff so much cotton wool down your fucking throat it'll come out your arse like the tail on a Playboy bunny."

"If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up cause that cunt's a cunt."

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